Sadly, the gameplay is buggy. [June 2002, p.79]

Unfortunately, the cartoony graphics, stilted shooter gameplay, and completely rancid car missions fail what could otherwise be a passing game.

Basic combat just isn't very fun. [Feb 2006, p.104]

About as soulless as the faceless Activision suit that signed off on its feast of mundane side-scrolling. [Oct 2002, p.94]

This side-scrolling button masher's personality is as dry as Ben Affleck's and the gameplay sucks about as much as J-Lo (take that however you see fit). [Mar 2003, p.91]

Kung Fu Panda 2 may win over fans on the cinematic front, but I can't say the same about its Kinect counterpart. Kung Fu Panda 2's charming cast of characters do a great job of moving the Kinect title's story mode along, however lag in full body combat sequences and noticeable lack of polish in minigames do little in making the user feel like the ultimate kung fu master.

Unless you despise the X-Men movies and simply want more ammo that can be used to insult your friends, I strongly advise that you avoid this game like you would a French kissing toad. [July 2006, p.104]

Add in some middling environment and character visuals on top of the lackluster gameplay, and X-Men Destiny has some big problems.

Target Liberty should receive a citation for roughing up the prestigious SWAT franchise. We can only hope the next effort more closely resembles its fantastic predecessors.

Activision is far too good of a publisher to unleash a game this poor onto the unsuspecting public. Fans of the series should skip this horrid excuse for a shooter and keep their glowing memories of previous Soldier of Fortune battles intact.

Unfortunately, the cartoony graphics, stilted shooter gameplay, and completely rancid car missions fail what could otherwise be a passing game.

Borderline unplayable due to terrible collision and sloppy mechanics. [Dec 2003, p.174]

Not the open-world game I was hoping for, but it is on the right track. This is a genuine attempt to create the type of experience the Adventure Time license deserves. It comes up short in many ways, but I still did get to have an adventure in Ooo, even if it was flooded with both water and technical issues.

There are even a few lame vehicular bonus stages thrown in for good measure, but none of the various stage types offer anything close to depth or originality. [Nov 2004, p.145]

Many of us lived through the era of video games that was overflowing with bad movie-to-game adaptations, and Crossroads is a pointed reminder of those days, showing just how far games have come since then. It’s a mess of a game that hones in on why the Fast movies are great, but will make you want to put the controller down to watch one of those movies instead.

The nuts and bolts of gameplay are apocalyptic failures, but the awfulness doesn't stop there. Managing games is utterly pointless. [Feb 2009, p.85]

If you have the option, definitely play Yaiba on PC. The textures, resolution, and framerate are noticeably better and worth the extra few days’ wait.

Ubisoft must think the Vita audience is brain-dead to try to sell them a flawed, unimproved port of an already mediocre game for $39.99.

You cannot fathom just how putrid Jam is. [May 2002, p.89]

Whip donuts in the dirt with your ATV if you want to go in circles; just don't play this game. [Dec 2002, p.152]

A lot like riding with a mechanical bull: sort of fun, sort of painful, with absolutely no sense of control. [Feb 2004, p.105]

It's frustrating and repetitive to the extreme. You owe the fruit of your loins something better. [Dec 2004, p.190]

Even when the game seems to be working against me at every inopportune time, the drive to see the fate of Heinrich and Gretchen made me push forward. I'm glad I did. I didn't see the ending coming, and I love how the story concludes.

This sucks rocks...Avoid this stinker at all costs. [Oct 2002, p.87]

Although there's really nothing outrageously bad about Dino Thunder, I ofter found myself a little bored with being a giaint robotic dinosaur, which just shouldn't happen. [Dec 2004, p.16]

The new gun combat is horrid. [Jan 2006, p.138]

Sure it’s got remote tilt steering, liberal boosts, and plenty of jumps, but the core control is so fundamentally sloppy it verges on unplayable.

For all of the disgust Ninja Reflex slowly draws up from the pit of your stomach, it should have been branded Gag Reflex instead. [June 2008, p.99]

Unless you're a hardcore fan of the book series and film, I'd take a pass on Eragon.

Daggerdale is a lengthy adventure, but most of the monsters and quests start to feel reiterative after the first couple of hours. Nonetheless, there are few other places to go right now for a downloadable fantasy game with co-op included. Someone should really get on that problem, because Daggerdale isn't the solution.

The gameplay is just so generic that even the track designs couldn't save this title. [Jan 2002, p.83]

The story aspects and art style are unique, but the seemingly slow-motion gameplay is not. [Feb 2003, p.105]

To say that Over G Fighters is a phenomenally terrible game isn't an exaggeration or a quippy joke. [Sept. 2006, p.97]

The cheesy sci-fi atmosphere won't do much to convince you to play this game, and neither will the derivative gameplay and level design. [July 2003, p.106]

I love using the right analog to reel in and the left to set the hook, but other than that, the gameplay is pretty drab (and I mean that in comparison to OTHER fishing games.) [Sept 2003, p.121]

Before we can even think of what might come next, Bethesda needs to make the core game more stable and fair. While I found it to be mostly enjoyable from an exploration standpoint, the frequency of server crashes, freezes, and technical issues is unacceptable. The foundation for another fun Fallout experience is in place, but you end up watching it crumble before your eyes as you play. The game just wasn’t ready for showtime.

Vane feels like an indescribable fever dream when it works, relaying a wordless story about a transforming creature trying to figure out its place in a world that appears to be falling apart. Too often though bugs and a lack of clear direction reminded me that Vane could have used a little bit of extra development time for polish.

I want to preface my statements that way, so that when I tell you how awful Pirate's Carnival is , maybe, just maybe, you'll believe me. [Sept. 2006, p.92]

It's much better than a game that totally sucked, which games it just another average, and unremarkable, third-person action title. [Nov 2002, p.127]

Although there's really nothing outrageously bad about Dino Thunder, I ofter found myself a little bored with being a giaint robotic dinosaur, which just shouldn't happen. [Dec 2004, p.16]

Shrek can burp and light his farts! Well, so can my old college roommates and I don't see you paying 50 bucks to hand out with them. [Jan 2002, p.86]

The combat is dull, the side missions are uninspired, and swinging around New York has been done to death. Activision probably hopes to attract a crowd of Spider-Man fans who are simply happy to squeeze into the hero’s spandex for a stroll through Manhattan, but even they don’t need to bother with this title, because they’ve probably played it several times over the years.

Some of the most antiquated and broken gameplay available on modern consoles. [June 2005, p.126]

In an era where millions of football fans obsess over stats, build fantasy teams, and even tune in to watch NFL combine drills, I'm not sure what audience EA is targeting by stripping Madden of its core multiplayer and franchise mode features. Nintendo handhelds may not always attract hardcore gamers, but that doesn't mean football fans who own the devices don't want a fully featured game.

The end product fails as a fighter, as a part of the Castlevania series, and as a video game in general.

The game suffers from slow pacing throughout the eight-plus hour experience, which fittingly ends with an anticlimactic scene. You should just hit the ignore button on this one.

This lack of depth, coupled with the weak combat and repetitive levels, equals a pirate game that won't even manage to steal away an hour of your precious time. [Sept 2003, p.126]

EA should be ashamed that it’s trying to bilk some kid out of $50 while offering so little in return. I can understand simplifying the controller in an otherwise button-heavy sport, but that doesn’t mean the gameplay itself has to become uninspiring and so lacking.

The only good that this game serves is that it keeps Fuzion Frenzy’s legacy of being synonymous with “bad game” alive for another generation. Even if Microsoft offers it as a five dollar download on Xbox Live Arcade, pass on it – unless, of course, you collect Worst Games of the Year.

I'm glad Gearbox stepped up and finished this game, but after hearing about it for 12 years, I have no desire to relive any of it again. I'm now satisfied in my knowledge of what Duke Nukem Forever is and ready to never talk about it again. Welcome back, Duke. I hope your next game (which is teased after the credits) goes off without a hitch.

Leave this one stranded on Ceti Alpha V – it’s of no use to you or the cause of the Federation.

Double Dragon IV has some nostalgia value for longstanding fans of the franchise or those that just want a glimpse of what brawlers looked like in times long gone, but it offers little in terms of compelling gameplay or interesting mechanics. I’m a big fan of seeing old series recapture glory, but in this case, Double Dragon is an experience better left in the past.

A poor delivery and shoddy production values ruin Get On Da Mic. [Dec 2004, p.177]

The time-tested bubble popping gameplay on its own is still enjoyable, but leaves a bit to be desired after going through the rounds. Unless you're a devout fan of the series, I'd say get mileage on your shiny new 3DS somewhere else as this version of Bust-A-Move is far from being the definitive package.

As a fan of retro sports and arcade games, I was rooting for Old Time Hockey to succeed. I love the ‘70s sensibilities, and the sports gaming scene needs more varied offerings. But the slew-footed story mode and ridiculous amount of crashes make this game a healthy scratch. If V7 Entertainment can stabilize the performance, the modest $12 price tag makes this a decent option for those looking for couch co-op options, but don’t expect much beyond pick-up games.

Despite all the technical problems, I still managed to finish Homefront's campaign, but I can't say I had fun. All of the game's ambitions are undone by its flaws, offering only the rare glimpse of what could have been. Dambuster has already stated they are committed to improving the game with additional patches, but given everything that's currently wrong, the studio faces a greater uphill battle than Homefront's desperate underdogs.

Some of the most antiquated and broken gameplay available on modern consoles. [June 2005, p.126]

I wouldn't pawn off this boring dreck to even the most annoying neighbor kid. [Aug 2006, p.90]

If robots ever do take over, I hope the human race doesn’t succumb to a force this stupid.

It's crippled by an over-reliance on the worst game design cliche ever invented: too much collecting. [Aug 2004, p.102]

Surprisingly boring. Murakumo's plight is the result of shallow and uninspired game design. [Mar 2003, p.88]

Never once in Hard Evidence did I feel like I was participating in a murder investigation. All of the guesswork is handled for you, and there is no margin for error. Every question you ask in an interrogation leads to the correct answer, and every piece of evidence you secure at a crime scene is relevant to the case.

Lococycle isn’t complex, but I was easily sucked into its silliness. I wanted to see where this intentionally stupid story was headed, and it was worth the trip – even if the game itself isn't very deep.

Movement is stiff, and you'll often be next to your enemy but miss him completely. It's like whiffing in T-ball. [Jan 2005, p.122]

This is a brawler. It allegedly has stealth, too, but it's the most pathetic, poorly done sneaking around I've seen. [Jan 2003, p.96]

I absolutely love the off-the-wall concept...The only thing that truly hold this title back is the racing. It's just way too slow and clunky. [Oct 2004, p.136]

The game looks okay, but combat is dull and it doesn't compare to its PC counterpart. [Dec 2004, p.168]

As a fan of retro sports and arcade games, I was rooting for Old Time Hockey to succeed. I love the ‘70s sensibilities, and the sports gaming scene needs more varied offerings. But the slew-footed story mode and ridiculous amount of crashes make this game a healthy scratch. If V7 Entertainment can stabilize the performance, the modest $12 price tag makes this a decent option for those looking for couch co-op options, but don’t expect much beyond pick-up games.

Winback 2 is an abysmal relic of gamings that sets a new low bar for itself and fails miserably to even hit that. [Jun 2006, p.112]

Take away the Aliens license, and you’ve got a shooter that has no reason to exist.

Stormrise doesn’t suffer simply because it’s on a console. In trying to introduce a new, supposedly user-friendly unit selection system, developer The Creative Assembly instead destroys almost all of the game’s playability.

There are online and offline multiplayer options, but extra players really only add an additional voice to help point out flaws and frustrations. It also gets incredibly chaotic. Suddenly half the bullets on screen belong to a cooperative partner and it becomes difficult to distinguish properly between enemy and friendly fire.

The levels are rote and tedious, offering no real surprise or sense of design. Adding to this sense of half-hearted execution are the graphics and storytelling, which are both sub-par even for the Wii.

The challenges are so easy they're laughable. The graphics haven't improved. The framerate chugs. [Jan 2003, p.101]

There's a fair amount of depth, with various tricks, items, and things to do with your dog. [Feb 2006, p.113]

Unless you’re a hardcore fan of the book series and film, I’d take a pass on Eragon.

"Quotation Forthcoming"

Unlike the movie, which was lush and vibrant from beginning to end, this looks worse than a '70s kung fu movie dubbed off broadcast television. [Oct 2003, p.117]

The rigs get hung up on everything from pylons to small picket fences, tip easily, and generally bounce all over the damn place like superballs. [Feb 2004, p.103]

Everything else, from collision detection to control to having only three different cars as traffic, adds up to this game biting the big one. [May 2003, p.94]

Absurdly unpolished.

MLB 2K13 is one of the most embarrassing whiffs I’ve seen. Whether I was playing CPU or human opponents, games frequently hinged on something that shouldn’t have happened on the diamond. Only play it if you have a YouTube account dedicated to archiving video game glitches.

If youre seriously interested in this "game," you're probably a loser who's embarrassed to buy porn, and way too chicken to actually talk to a real girl. [Oct 2004, p.129]

Featuring perhaps the worst cutscenes I have ever seen, and gameplay that is tedious at best, there really isn't much SeaBlade has to offer. [Jan 2003, p.114]

The Syberia series is a product of its time, and Syberia 3 doesn’t bring back any excitement. It is plagued by bugs, a disappointing storyline, cliché characters, and puzzles that are more frustrating than fun. This return fails to do the series justice, feeling more like an unpolished and dated adventure game instead of a revival.

The environments are bland, the characters have no dialogue, and the puzzles are illogical. [Dec 2003, p.159]

There's good humor and writing to be had here, but it's not so much a game as an interactive comic book with a backlight. [Jan 2005, p.149]

A dumb, forgettable game and nothing else. [Sept 2005, p.100]

The game fails in the simple task of capturing the excitement of actual bowling. [July 2004, p.112]

There are even a few lame vehicular bonus stages thrown in for good measure, but none of the various stage types offer anything close to depth or originality. [Nov 2004, p.145]

The game is generic at best, broken at worst, and falls short in its attempts to innovate cooperative play.

The only saving grace that this game has is its combat mechanic. By no means is it good, but it’s competent, and successful in making you feel like you clocked someone pretty hard. If you have some friends over, you can delve into four-player co-op. However, like a friend who picks out a crappy movie, there’s a good chance that your buddies will mock you for this spirit-crushing game for the remainder of your days.

If youre seriously interested in this "game," you're probably a loser who's embarrassed to buy porn, and way too chicken to actually talk to a real girl. [Oct 2004, p.129]

Being an arcade game, however, fun isn't the problem with Smashing Drive – it's the lack of replay. [Apr 2002, p.79]

Legendary is by no means awful — it’s just about as vanilla as first-person shooters get. It all wraps up with a completely unsatisfying “wait for the sequel” type cliffhanger. We’ll see.

Saw II doesn't just take a step backwards from the first game – it performs a reverse swan dive off a balcony into a swimming pool filled with razorblades.

A mediocre car combat title. [Sept 2002, p.81]

The animation is solid, and there's a plot to boot. [Aug 2002, p.79]