Final Four gets a nonstop trip to Dumpsville. [Dec 2001, p.50]

Whether you are defending the colony from a hornet invasion by manning goo cannons, racing an obstacle course with a team of ants, or foraging for food, the game keeps things fresh. Too bad none of it is exciting. [Feb. 2007, p.102]

Crime Boss: Rockay City is proof that star power isn’t everything. In fact, it’s a reminder that a celebrity cast does nothing for a game when it’s void of anything interesting or fun to support it. When run-ending bugs appear, Crime Boss is miserable, but even when I’m running a mission bug-free, I lay witness to a painfully dull take on organized crime. At its best, Crime Boss functions – I can shoot weapons at enemies, empty bank vaults and warehouses for loot, watch cutscenes with recognizable faces and voices, and grow my empire – but it never captures my attention in a meaningful or memorable way. Instead, it pushes me further and further away, leaving me with no desire to ever return to Rockay City.

It’s an evolution, for sure, but not an entirely exciting one.

Unless you despise the X-Men movies and simply want more ammo that can be used to insult your friends, I strongly advise that you avoid this game like you would a French kissing toad. [July 2006, p.104]

Time Ace picks up a little bit after the first few levels, but never quite flies high enough for me. [June 2007, p.119]

If you've already invested a portion of your life to the game on other platforms, it's probably not as essential because you've already done all it has to offer and more. Still, it's a great way to experience the fun of a Hoarders-style train wreck while you're on the road.

There are few tables to choose from, all of which are fairly standard in design. [May 2005, p.136]

At its worst, Game of Thrones is difficult to tolerate, but the burden of its many problems isn't enough to render the experience worthless. For those already familiar with the franchise, the story of Mors and Alester is consistent with the world and provides insight into events beyond the reach of the regular series cast. However, you must be a forgiving and devoted fan to enjoy the best that this game can offer.

If you can put up with the game’s complete and total linearity and don’t mind a largely forgettable multiplayer offering, there is a ton of brutal amusement to be had with Dark Messiah’s excellent melee combat.

This game's got enough depth and challenge to warrant a purchase. [July 2002, p.93]

Just about everything about the playcontrol is cumbersome. [Feb 2002, p.91]

Unless you despise the X-Men movies and simply want more ammo that can be used to insult your friends, I strongly advise that you avoid this game like you would a French kissing toad. [July 2006, p.104]

Several generations behind the quality we’re seeing in other PS2 first-person shooters. [Feb 2002, p.85]

It's 2003, yet I'm still stuck turning six hidden gears in order to open one friggin' door? That's just archaic. Games like "Deus Ex" and "Eternal Darkness" have proven that puzzles don't have to be ridiculously monotonous. [Aug 2003, p.90]

Rabbids Land's dull and repetitive minigames ruin a party already soured by slow pacing and tedious dice rolling.

You run around, you shoot people, and that's about it. [Nov. 2006, p.146]

This lack of polish wouldn't be nearly as frustrating if not for the fact that the game's primary feature – the dismemberment of the main characters – makes the game less fun than it would have been as just a plain old third-person action game. Sure, it's a unique idea – but not every idea is worth pursuing. In the case of NeverDead, this concept should have been left on the cutting room floor. You could say the same about the game itself.

Denied Ops offers the bread and butter of deathmatch, team deathmatch, and conquest, but nothing about this tacked-on feature set stands out. I suppose you could say the same thing about the entire game.

Sniper: Ghost Warrior 2 feels like a bad parody of military shooters, but with poorly textured environments and sub-par mechanics. I like being the lone-wolf sniper as much as the next shooter fan, but City Interactive fumbles the power-trip from start to finish.

Random button pressing will get you farther than most attempts at strategy, and getting locked into long combo animations is a "feature" that makes me just want to die. [Sept. 2006, p.100]

In the end, I don't see this title connecting with an audience beyond the most hardcore Rampage fans. [May 2006, p.97]

For those with no time or emotional investment in the series, this role-playing game is slower than milkshake moving up a cocktail straw, blander in appearance than most PSOne titles, and has more grating dialogue than a rerun of "The Facts of Life." [Jan 2005, p.125]

Overkill’s The Walking Dead plans to dole out content in seasons, so the current batch of missions will soon expand. But dramatic reworking of most core combat and mission systems are necessary before the game could be worthy of a recommendation. The premise sounds promising for fans of cooperative play, zombie action, and the taut survival storylines implied by the license. The execution fails to meet the needs of any of those groups. You’re better off heeding the warning – keep this menacing door closed, and leave the zombies to their gnawing hunger.

The only thing this game does right is not inflict an ancient curse on the player. [Aug 2006, p.85]

It comes out of the gate with a strong opening set and sprinkles in a good joke every time the audience gets restless. But the gameplay itself is as diluted as a happy hour special in an 18-and-over club.

Some of the most antiquated and broken gameplay available on modern consoles. [June 2005, p.126]

It can't hold off the stench of rot that is setting in on by-the-book platformers like this. [Jan 2004, p.135]

The levels and missions are equally unremarkable, which makes for yet another promising stealth title that doesn't live up to its potential. [June 2005, p.127]

For crap's sake, I can't even run down a corridor in Dino Crisis 3 with any semblance of accuracy... This game plays like a blind, drunken monkey has been given full control of the camera. [Oct 2003, p.135]

After the novelty fades, Truckers 2 starts to feel more like a job than a game, as you realize life on the road is just one repetitive haul after another. [Oct 2005, p.128]

It comes up short. It's split into three uninspired levels of repetitive knife stabbing, sloppy platforming, and switch hitting to drain out toxic sludge. [Mar 2011, p.98]

This is "Fuzion Frenzy" with one-liners about stuffing ballot boxes and endless, boring minigame repetition. [July 2008, p.86]

I did enjoy the escort missions, and the co-op is decent, but they can't hide the fact that 187 is just plain mediocre. [Oct 2005, p.128]

I can't put my personal feelings on crarpy games aside enough to recommend Don't Try This At Home to anyone but people who think that getting thumbtacks stuck in your ass and scalp are a fun way to spend a Saturday. [Dec 2003, p.148]

A dumb, forgettable game and nothing else. [Sept 2005, p.100]

Until a patch can resolve the glaring flaws, this isn't worth your time, much less your money. [June 2004, p.136]

This game doesn't even live up to the first four PSX titles in the series. It's that bad. I just feel dirty playing it, and Sony should feel worse for publishing it. [Jan 2002, p.88]

In trying to introduce a new, supposedly user-friendly unit selection system, developer The Creative Assembly instead destroys almost all of the game’s playability.

Please don't do any more games like this, The Rock. You deserve better. [Nov. 2006, p.130]

It’s been awhile since I played a game that butchered so many of the basics of gameplay and design. [Sept 2008, p.103]

To put it bluntly, the storytelling is a laughable farce. [July 2002, p.83]

Whether you are defending the colony from a hornet invasion by manning goo cannons, racing an obstacle course with a team of ants, or foraging for food, the game keeps things fresh. Too bad none of it is exciting. [Feb. 2007, p.102]

Look up into the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s another crappy Superman game!

Those with good stylus support (particularly "Centipede" and "Missle Command") are an absolute blast. [May 2005, p.128]

A lesson in what happens when there is an unwillingness to evolve or risk new ideas. [June 2005, p.126]

Denied Ops offers the bread and butter of deathmatch, team deathmatch, and conquest, but nothing about this tacked-on feature set stands out. I suppose you could say the same thing about the entire game.

The loading times between games somewhat diminishes the fast-paced feel that Wario Ware delivers. [Feb 2006, p.113]

I'm glad Gearbox stepped up and finished this game, but after hearing about it for 12 years, I have no desire to relive any of it again. I'm now satisfied in my knowledge of what Duke Nukem Forever is and ready to never talk about it again. Welcome back, Duke. I hope your next game (which is teased after the credits) goes off without a hitch.

The worst thing about this title is that there are no dowloadable questions, so you can run out fast. I also don't know why they didn't make use of all the different Trivial Pursuit editions out there. [Aug 2004, p.96]

Top off the list with repetitive and uninspired boss battles, an off-kilter depth of field and a one-dimensional economy, and Fairytale Fights is offensive, just not in the way Playlogic intended.

Sure, it’s a little silly that the Enterprise is flinging itself around the galaxy taking out Klingon Birds of Prey to and fro, but there are some classic Trek moments to be had, from beaming off away teams to outrunning the shockwaves of exploding planets.

Long story short, the adventure motif simply didn't catch. [Sept. 2006, p.88]

In this day and age, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that a game based on a movie fares poorly, but for a character who has survived since 700AD, he deserves better treatment than this.

Unless you’re a hardcore fan of the book series and film, I’d take a pass on Eragon.

It’s been awhile since I played a game that butchered so many of the basics of gameplay and design. [Sept 2008, p.103]

Progress is so slow in coming with this franchise it makes the Lions’ march to mediocrity look like a worst-to-first finish. [Feb 2002, p.84]

This game will please neither action fans nor followers of the "Tekken" franchise, and comes off as a marketing scheme gone horribly awry. [March 2005, p.132]

Put simply, NARC is a mess. Every time it starts to show a little potential, it blindsides you with a nearly unplayable mission, amazing camera failure, or a flat-out boring sidequest. [May 2005, p.112]

In this day and age, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that a game based on a movie fares poorly, but for a character who has survived since 700AD, he deserves better treatment than this.

I think I'd rather have Gandalf turn me into something unnatural - like a hairy newt - rather than play this game again. [Dec 2002, p.150]

After this miserable showing, the only waters that Jaws will be patrolling are those of the great video game toilet. [Aug 2006, p.84]

I also ran into a series of technical problems, including crashes, falling through the ground, and audio glitches. These technical missteps are distracting, but they aren’t the most serious problem. Daylight’s inability to terrify you and present a world you want to explore is its ultimate undoing.

Please don't do any more games like this, The Rock. You deserve better. [Nov. 2006, p.130]

The combo system is definitely cool, and the controls are fashioned nicely, but the remainder of the game is just downright appalling. [March 2005, p.132]

Brooktown High is a place where you want to spend a good deal of time, but the barebones gameplay, repetition in conversations, and fact that most of your success relies on exploiting these elements sucks all the fun out of this dating game. [June 2007, p.117]

Even when the game seems to be working against me at every inopportune time, the drive to see the fate of Heinrich and Gretchen made me push forward. I'm glad I did. I didn't see the ending coming, and I love how the story concludes.

The new gun combat is horrid. [Jan 2006, p.138]

It's a shame that Shinobi uses a password save, because I really would have dug this game if it wasn't for this blunder. [Feb 2003, p.110]

It's clear that the team didn't have the time and resources to really do Bodycount right, and the departure of at least two high level people during development didn't help either. What's left is a bland and essentially incomplete game that fans hoping for more Black, or simply a decent shooter, will be disappointed in.

The story and setting are fun, but after 10 minutes of wrestling with wonky controls, the nostalgia wore off. A little later, after Conrad’s body somehow fused with a platform and forced me to restart, the contempt began.

Alien Escape delivers in mindless fluff. [Sept 2002, p.81]

There's a refreshing non-linearity to Postal 2. [June 2003, p.116]

Ugly and boring. [Jan 2003, p.121]

Your objectives change so constantly that it's easy to forget about the blurry graphics and simplistic combat. [Feb 2004, p.114]

Features level design that would have been sub-par 15 years ago, terrible graphics, and wretched control. [Dec 2003, p.159]

The levels and missions are equally unremarkable, which makes for yet another promising stealth title that doesn't live up to its potential. [June 2005, p.127]

Unfortunately, the good parts like the unlockable skills are obscured by generic enemy designs, monotonous combat and the most tedious boss battles I’ve seen.

Infinite Air offers a lot to like on a conceptual level, but its faulty trick system creates a hole that is impossible to fill.

Unfortunately, the cartoony graphics, stilted shooter gameplay, and completely rancid car missions fail what could otherwise be a passing game.

After the novelty fades, Truckers 2 starts to feel more like a job than a game, as you realize life on the road is just one repetitive haul after another. [Oct 2005, p.128]

Its boring, unimaginative combat lays shame to the fact that Philip K. Dick (whose short story the movie is based on) came up with a pretty original idea to write about.

This title is exactly what all the haters were afraid of when the DS was originally announced: boring, tired game design with crappy touch screen control tacked on. [Jun 2006, p.118]

Unfortunately, the good parts like the unlockable skills are obscured by generic enemy designs, monotonous combat and the most tedious boss battles I’ve seen.

Makes some strides in the genre, but it seems like the company didn't finish the job. [Oct 2002, p.85]

Graphically, the cutscenes are very stylish, exhibiting some striking sequences and Gigeresque character desings... Despite its shortcomings, I was charmed by Galerians: Ash. [Mar 2003, p.83]

In the end, I think all Left Brain, Right Brain reliably tests is patience. [Feb 2008, p.102]

Empire Earth III’s handful of units per tech tier, problematic unit AI and pathfinding, and lackluster factional differences between the West, East, and Middle East types do little to give RTS players anything they haven’t seen before.

It’s equal parts silly, gory, and stupid – exactly what you’d expect from the concept.

Put simply, NARC is a mess. Every time it starts to show a little potential, it blindsides you with a nearly unplayable mission, amazing camera failure, or a flat-out boring sidequest. [May 2005, p.112]

There is one and only one good thing to say about Two Worlds: the game truly gives you the freedom to align with any faction and change the gameworld by your choices. Everything else – and I mean everything else – sucks.

Despite its technical imperfections, Yoostar 2 can be enjoyable if you step out of your shell and be a total ham. Bring in some friends for a full cast, and you'll get some laughs during your acting debut.

Legends has a very unique gameplay style and makes good use of all the GameCube controller's buttons. [August 2002, p.82]

This lack of polish wouldn't be nearly as frustrating if not for the fact that the game's primary feature – the dismemberment of the main characters – makes the game less fun than it would have been as just a plain old third-person action game. Sure, it's a unique idea – but not every idea is worth pursuing. In the case of NeverDead, this concept should have been left on the cutting room floor. You could say the same about the game itself.

The simplistic flick-your-wrist-and-sometimes-press-a-button interface is probably great for testing the motor skills of chimpanzees, but humans should do themselves a favor and use this same arm motion to fling this Hudson game into the Hudson River.

Avoid at all costs.

On a console, you're left with a classic board game and no nifty little houses to roll around in your hand and lost under the couch. [Dec 2002, p.144]

Legendary is by no means awful — it’s just about as vanilla as first-person shooters get. It all wraps up with a completely unsatisfying “wait for the sequel” type cliffhanger. We’ll see.