Unlike "Gauntlet," Black Stone is so poorly executed, that it is absolutely no fun to play. [Feb 2003, p.104]

If you're going to ask people to buy your content it's a good idea to make it compelling in the first place, and Ridge Racer doesn't do that.

Myriad control problems, brain dead AI, and a cringe-worthy storyline make Mindjack a shooter worth skipping.

The huge level of frustration is not worth the time it takes to master the awkward gameplay idiosyncrasies. Instead, it’s more tempting – even as someone with experience – to just spam the waggle movements for a passable high score.

Somewhat amusing... but only, and I stress this, if you've already consumed every little morsel within "Tony 4." [Dec 2002, p.122]

This level of sub-mediocre FPS boredom isn't even close to worth its $20 price point. [June 2005, p.126]

In a game, you need a control scheme that makes sense and works. Buffy's doesn't. At all... Try as I might, there's nothing that I can compliment or even remotely endorse in this game. [Sept 2003, p.126]

What the deal with the blander-than-bland texturing? If I wanted to be lulled to sleep, I would read a selection from Minnesota's penal code. [Feb 2003, p.104]

If robots ever do take over, I hope the human race doesn’t succumb to a force this stupid.

Devil’s Third is not an unplayable game, but it may as well be for all it offers. From the action to the environments, the experience is devoid of personality. The story is a joke, the combat is simplistic, and it only gets worse the deeper you get. If you enjoy playing games that are terrible for a laugh, Devil’s Third is a great candidate – but please don’t interpret that as a recommendation.

For all of the shock and hullaballoo following its path toward release, Hatred is nothing special or particularly egregious in the world of video game violence, except for the fact that it relies on that violence alone. The game takes itself extremely seriously and has plenty of extremely violent content and murder, but it ends up feeling more like camp.

Outside of the occasional thrill of blowing some fool away with a shotgun or breaking a baseball bat over someone's head, there are no redeeming qualities to Final Fight: Streetwise. [Mar 2006, p.100]

Those patient enough to suffer through the initial gameplay inadequacies are rewarded with horrible, low-quality cutscenes, a “special” Accelerator Suit ability that often drains during said cutscenes, unreachable power-ups that hover just out of grasp, the worst vehicle controls I’ve used in years, and voice overacting that makes the guy who says “killing spree” in Unreal Tournament sound understated.

In the end, Sonic nuts will love it. Everyone else should stay away.

If you have such a child in your household, I would do everything in my power to ensure they never catch wind of this game.

Like its second-fiddle protagonist, Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z resides in the shadow of many other better third-person action games, but it’s not terrible if you’re specifically looking for a schlocky Saturday.

Movement feels floaty, hit detection and collision issues are everywhere, and enemy AI is painfully stupid. [Jan 2005, p.118]

I'd avoid picking up the box for fear of contracting something, to say nothing of actually paying for this abomination. [March 2005, p.138]

Rise of the Guardians isn't entirely unpleasant, but even if you're looking for a co-op game that's safe for the whole family, you can find better options on the market.

Aliens: Colonial Marines’ odious mess can be smelled from low orbit, and only the most ardent Aliens fans will find anything redeeming.

If you have such a child in your household, I would do everything in my power to ensure they never catch wind of this game.

If Activision cares to know, fans are indeed hungry for a new Transformers game – just not one that shamelessly tries to make us trade our hard-earned cash for junk.

Offering police pursuit races, takedown-focused bouts, and several other modes doesn't help Asphalt 3D's cause in the least. It's a buggy mess, and the controls are awful enough to make it a chore even when the game is functioning correctly.

Like an old player attempting a comeback after multiple knee reconstructions and several years away from the game, NBA Live 14 doesn't have enough skill or composure to keep up with the competition.

As a comic book fan, games like this reduce me to a quivering, broken mess - laying in the fetal position under my desk with tears streaming down my face like a lost child. [Dec 2003, p.187]

Deadfall Adventures tries its best to mix first-person shooting with the puzzle solving of adventure titles. Unfortunately, the gunplay is buggy, the puzzles are hackneyed, and the story is hopelessly bad. If you're expecting anything remotely fun, prepare to be disappointed.

The deep upgrade system is completely wasted by the action itself, which is some of the worst I've ever seen. [June 2005, p.136]

Myriad control problems, brain dead AI, and a cringe-worthy storyline make Mindjack a shooter worth skipping.

If there's a legend here, it's that this title fails to raise your heartbeat in almost any way. [Mar 2002, p.79]

Think Syfy original movie. [Mar 2011, p.98]

Needless to say, I played this entire game tense, angry, and praying that the next level would be the last. I never really felt like I was in control at any point during the game. The summer movie games usually bring misery, but I never expected them to bring this much pain.

The Star Trek franchise is built on the concept of a hopeful future, but fans should keep looking toward the horizon, because this present trek is hopeless.

For sneaky spy maneuvers, go to "Splinter Cell" for the same over-the-top fun and much better example of gadgetry, espionage, storytelling, control, and graphics. [Mar 2004, p.114]

The framerate chugs from time to time, and the controls feel looser than the strippers at the Bada Bing. Still, the story and dialogue had me laughing out loud a few times. If you are a big fan of the show it is worth a look, but don’t expect much.

Outside of the occasional thrill of blowing some fool away with a shotgun or breaking a baseball bat over someone's head, there are no redeeming qualities to Final Fight: Streetwise. [Mar 2006, p.100]

Those patient enough to suffer through the initial gameplay inadequacies are rewarded with horrible, low-quality cutscenes, a “special” Accelerator Suit ability that often drains during said cutscenes, unreachable power-ups that hover just out of grasp, the worst vehicle controls I’ve used in years, and voice overacting that makes the guy who says “killing spree” in Unreal Tournament sound understated.

A decent shot at motion-controlled rhythm gameplay aside, this shameless cash-in game of a shameless cash-in TV show is what it is. What is it? Stacy Keibler is in this game!

The recent Clash of the Titans film was a mildly entertaining display of special effects. The game contains all of the film's camp but lacks the spectacle of million-dollar CG krakens to help save it.

With the number of average-to-outstanding FPS titles available on next-gen consoles, there’s absolutely no reason to waste your time with this disaster.

With the number of average-to-outstanding FPS titles available on next-gen consoles, there’s absolutely no reason to waste your time with this disaster.

But while the overall concept is imaginative, Spray's action and story aren't nearly so, leaving us with a game that's a little difficult to digest.

Rock Revolution is exactly what you’d expect from the music game genre, assuming the last three years never happened.

With no significant enhancements or additions, this title makes no case for itself on the console. [May 2002, p.87]

Superhero games are supposed to be power fantasies. So far, the Iron Man games haven’t done much to inspire my dreams, but at least they’re not giving me nightmares anymore. If Sega keeps tweaking the formula, next time it might actually convince me that it’s fun being Iron Man.

My time with Wayward Manor felt more like a trial than a macabre puzzle adventure about a haunted house. Wayward Manor isn’t frightening, but it sure scared me away.

You know the drill: extremely linear level designs that stitch together corridors, open areas, and dull objectives with all the refinement and subltlety of a drunken quilting circle. [Mar 2006, p.100]

One Way Trip is a bore from beginning to end. I was never invested in its story despite trying to force myself to be, and was instead either bored or annoyed the entire time. Relief washed over me when the credits finally rolled.

The sense of speed is somewhat equivalent to the electric carts available to the recently injured at grocery stores. [Oct 2003, p.123]

It pains me to say this, but turn off your TV and just read the book or head to your local theater. This is a story everyone must experience, just don’t try interacting with it.

The structure is here for a great title, but it doesn't help when half the game's gone up in smoke. [Apr 2006, p.135]

Dragon's Lair is a lot like the chicken pox. It's probable that you'll experience it once in your lifetime, and that's more than enough.

Nothing more than an unpolished, but promising, rhythm title. [Feb 2004, p.103]

It's a bad game when it's working, but there are plenty of moments that make you wonder how it even got cleared for release. Enemy AI frequently freaks out, causing soldiers to endlessly sprint against walls (often firing their guns at the ground). At one point, the framerate dropped to unplayable levels, except it wasn't during a firefight – I was just walking around.

The recent Clash of the Titans film was a mildly entertaining display of special effects. The game contains all of the film's camp but lacks the spectacle of million-dollar CG krakens to help save it.

Superhero games are supposed to be power fantasies. So far, the Iron Man games haven't done much to inspire my dreams, but at least they're not giving me nightmares anymore. If Sega keeps tweaking the formula, next time it might actually convince me that it's fun being Iron Man.

This title is notable only in the fact that every single facet of the game is mediocre to bad. Control, graphics, sound; all are very unimpressive. [Apr 2004, p.106]

The single-player experience can be completed in a few hours, and the painful minigames give you good reason to skip the multiplayer.

If you’re going to get one of these, go for the faster-paced Beta Wave, but watch out for that nasty addition game.

This level of sub-mediocre FPS boredom isn't even close to worth its $20 price point. [June 2005, p.126]

Anyone looking for a quick car combat fix before next year's Twisted Metal might be able to waste a few hours on this title, but they won't be wholly enjoyable hours. Since you can't save in the middle of a tournament, and some the later cups last a couple hours, the game eventually tests your endurance. I'd rather give bone marrow than sit through this Blood Drive again.

The problem is that many of the tricks you do with the ball simply don't work. Worse yet is the abyssmal AI - particularly for the goalies. [Feb 2004, p.109]

Sure, it has super moves and unlockables that older games didn't, but those extras don't change the fact that the core gameplay is as familiar as the Game Boy itself. [Dec 2003, p.186]

It pains me to say this, but turn off your TV and just read the book or head to your local theater. This is a story everyone must experience, just don’t try interacting with it.

Next to sharing the screen with Michael Jordan, this game has to be the low point in Bugs Bunny's career. [Dec 2007, p.140]

This has to be one of the worst games I've had the displeasure of playing in quite some time. [Sept 2005, p.100]

But instead of choosing between a co-op or AI partner, you should just avoid playing this game. The only thing of any value that Cursed Crusade has left me with is a blight that will remain on my Xbox Gamerscore until the end of time.

There isn't a single feature, event, or option that ever rises above the very low bar of "half-assed." [Apr 2006, p.118]

With the number of average-to-outstanding FPS titles available on next-gen consoles, there’s absolutely no reason to waste your time with this disaster. [Apr 2008, p.86]

If you’re going to get one of these, go for the faster-paced Beta Wave, but watch out for that nasty addition game. [Feb. 2007, p.111]

Half of Back to the Multiverse is done exceptionally well. The other half is the polar opposite. The gameplay could fuel any generic shooter, and doesn't feel like it belongs with this property. Stewie and Brian deliver some good laughs that fans of the show will want to see, but working through gameplay this bad isn't worth the effort to others.

This has to be one of the worst games I've had the displeasure of playing in quite some time. [Sept 2005, p.100]

Rail shooters don't get much more tedious, lifeless, or ugly than Attack of the Movies 3D. [Issue#206, p.96]

You know the drill: extremely linear level designs that stitch together corridors, open areas, and dull objectives with all the refinement and subltlety of a drunken quilting circle. [Mar 2006, p.100]

Ju-On: The Grudge fails to inspire terror, relying on tired jump-scares, that over-used croaking sound, and random, cheesy scares via a second controller.

Sega's flavorless texture work spoils what could otherwise have been a visually exciting game. It's hard to recommend God of Thunder to even the most ardent of Thor fans. If you're looking for another Thor experience after seeing the film and paging through the character's 50 years worth of comic history, this game won't satisfy you.

It will cost a couple hours of your life to finish Only If, and that price is too high for the few fleeting, interesting concepts buried in the wreckage.

Replicates the movie's charm wonderfully, but its lack of variety hardly qualifies it even as a party game. [Dec 2002, p.130]

In utter honesty, there are few titles that have inspired such immediate and long-lasting malice in my heart and mind. [Nov 2003, p.157]

It's hard to know which is more laughable: Onechanbara's story of sisters who absorb zombie blood through their skin or the fact that this game is so shallow. [Apr 2009, p.81]

Kinect owners have been clamoring for new games since the peripheral's launch, but I think we'd all prefer developers take a little more time figuring out its tech if it means less games like this abomination.

The Waterworld "attraction" (actually a thirty-second clip of a plane crashing into the water) is the lamest thing I've ever seen, except for myself naked. Yuck! [Mar 2002, p.81]

The game's reality, however, constantly reminds you that this isn't the Tony Hawk you remember. Inconsistent framerate, textures that pop in, and physics quirks that launch you into the sky mar the experience regularly.

Here’s a tip, kids: You can play a better game at home with just a pen. Here’s how: start drawing circles on a sheet of paper. Yeah! You did it! Now your mom has something to put on the fridge.

The framerate chugs along to a point where many of the stages should be classified as unplayable. I'd be surprised if this game pushes more than 10 frames per second at any given time. [Jan 2004, p.160]

Not only is Dead Or Alive: Paradise a bad game, it also drags down whatever reputation its namesake carried.

Rail shooters don't get much more tedious, lifeless, or ugly than Attack of the Movies 3D. [Issue#206, p.96]

Umbrella Corps is an unusual online shooter. Unfortunately, its odd mix of mechanics don’t come together well, and its online matchmaking is a total joke. I once waited almost 20 minutes for a match that lasted less than 10 minutes. In that amount of time, you could drive to the store and buy a better game.

More fun than watching the movie that inspired it. Of course, so is watching your inbred Uncle Eddie pick lint out of his navel. [Feb 2002, p.85]

I’ve played a lot of bad Xbox 360 games for achievements, but hardly any are as unpolished and poorly executed as Dark. It’s easily one of this generation’s worst titles. Even when the stealth is working moderately well, the slow pacing is a killer, and no amount of blood sucking brings satisfaction. Most levels were completed through trial and error, failure after failure, and then success coming from exploiting an AI bug or an odd design decision.

Terrible, and offers nothing as a video game or even as a piece of nostalgia. The ugly turtle models didn’t bring back any memories of the fun cartoon of my youth, and the gameplay is among the most unenjoyable experiences I’ve had during my time as a gamer. There is no circumstance under which anyone should play this train wreck of a game.

Speaking of lack of combat, the first boss battle doesn’t even kick in until level nine – and it sucks!

Sega's flavorless texture work spoils what could otherwise have been a visually exciting game. It's hard to recommend God of Thunder to even the most ardent of Thor fans. If you're looking for another Thor experience after seeing the film and paging through the character's 50 years worth of comic history, this game won't satisfy you.

When minigames not involving golf are the standout parts of a mini golf title, you know you’ve missed the mark.

It’s simply unacceptable for a retail game to have a major component of gameplay be as broken as Seven Kingdoms’ pathfinding and unit AI.

Bad games are sometimes described as “trash,” but even that doesn’t seem vile enough for this grievous affront. Kengo is a tall glass of garbage water – the viscous, beige fluid that collects at the bottom of trash bins...the refuse of waste.

This may very well be the worst PS2 game on the market... The outcome is nothing short of a resounding d'oh! [Dec 2002, p.123]

Rock Revolution is exactly what you’d expect from the music game genre, assuming the last three years never happened.

Its gameplay is well below today's standard for console FPS. Horribly clunky hand-to-hand fighting also rears its ugly head. [Jan 2004, p.135]