EYE's lack of inspiration is matched only by its ineptitude. [Nov 2011, p.68]

Your current life is too short to waste on this next one. [Mar 2008, p.77]

Weak. [Oct 2009, p.79]

It's a testament to the dullness of this game that its 25 missions feature a wide variety of mission types, yet all of them feel like the same monotonous hunts for brain-dead adversaries. [Oct 2002, p.100]

If the competition were par, this would be a double bogey. [Feb 2001, p.57]

Resist, chopper fans. You'll thank us later. [Aug 2007, p.63]

Considering that combat is as dull as the ship graphics, and that you can't even share the experience due to lack of multiplayer, Shattered Suns' $40 asking price is seriously overambitious. [Dec 2008, p.57]

Look elsewhere. [July 2008, p.63]

Cringeworthy voice acting. [July 2008, p.60]

This little number's a shiny new lemon. [May 2002, p.69]

Frustrating, buggy and overly dependent on trial-and-error, this is a missed opportunity.

Agonizingly mediocre - and proof that the Blair Witch has had her day in the moonlight. [Apr 2001, p.90]

The contrast between cartoonish characters and sprays of blood only continues the rollercoaster of pain and confusion. Make sure to play on an empty stomach. [June 2003, p.88]

This game got repetitious after about 15 minutes and downright treadmill-like within a half-hour. The emperor's verdict: Thumb down. [May 2004, p.71]

Tedium, interrupted by frustration. [Holiday 2006, p.86]

On top of the mediocre graphics, translation bloopers, and occasional crashes, these flaws will greatly hasten XIII's fade into history. [Oct 2008, p.70]

The moral of the story is, if you're looking for a half-decent real-time strategy game, skip Left Behind. [Feb. 2007, p.66]

Not much of a party game. [Apr 2003, p.103]

We'll always love Michael Crichton for his books, movies, and TV shows. [Feb 2001, p.58]

The worst part is the voice acting. [Dec 2009, p.77]

It’s exactly the kind of cookie-cutter movie spin-off we could easily survive without. [Holiday 2001, p.88]

Even the combat is boring, since it's entirely automated and gives you no control whatsoever over your troops. [Dec 2003, p.132]

Even worse are the ridiculously tough environmental puzzles. Unless you're a member of MENSA, chances are you'll need a walkthrough to finish the game. [Mar 2004, p.62]

It's short, it's bland, and it's got all the ingredients to be PC Gamer's most generic shooter of '08. [Dec 2008, p.66]

Swing and a miss! You can safely skip this one even if they cut the price in half. [May 2007, p.63]

Payback is a disservice to the Soldier of Fortune franchise, and in no way captures the exciting action of its pedigree. [Feb 2008, p.86]

If there's one thing that blows chunks more than a bad console-to-PC port, it's a recycled low-budget PC game that's past its due. [Oct. 2006, p.58]

The Cartel's finest feature is a mess. Everything else is merely bland, repetitive, and dull. [Holiday 2011, p.80]

In short, <i>RF Online</i> fails as a PvE game, and its PvP gameplay isn't engaging enough to make up for that fatal flaw. [July 2006, p.78]

Playing Revolution is like driving a Lamborghini that's been torn apart and reassembled by a blindfolded mechanic: it's cheap, and the engine runs, but I wouldn't recommend you get behind the wheel, because there's bound to be some important parts left out. [May 2003, p.68]

A disaster. [Feb 2005, p.60]

A boring, unoriginal, morally bankrupt, ethically dubious glorification of war, that's not worth your time or money.

Save your money, fellow muggles: it's best spent elsewhere. [Mar 2006, p.102]

It's all been done before - and a hell of a lot better to boot. [Feb 2006, p.54]

Dangerous Golf has a good variety of levels and lots of stuff to destroy, but offers weak, unsatisfying control over that destruction.

You can barely tolerate the insane irrelevance of the details asked - they really are that dry. [Sept 2002, p.76]

EA Sports has once again screwed PC owners over with a cut-rate edition of one of its big fall sports games, and NHL 08 is even more of a disappointment than its football and golf comrades. [Holiday 2007, p.83]

Less unpleasant than having an alien probe stuck up your butt - but not by much. [Sept 1998, p.129a]

After Theatre of War 3: Korea crashed for the last time, I realized it'd only succeeded in whetting my appetite for a good Korean War real-time strategy game. [July 2011, p.69]

Slow, clunky, and prone to glitchiness, playing Daggerdale feels like a sentence to an actual dungeon.

Come enter! Our game interface is impressively awkward: you'll click three menus to find one performers statistics. [Nov 2004, p.94]

Fascinating, but not in a good way. It's rare for a major publisher to release something that, for a significant part of its short length, feels so bad. Yes, the bike sections are standard fare for the series. RedLynx is good at making Trials levels, and has made a handful of them here. But their quality only serves to highlight how bad the other levels are. This is the worst Trials game. It's also the worst Blood Dragon. Neither series comes out of this partnership looking good.

Be warned...You Are Empty isn't so much a title as a disclaimer. [Mar 2008, p.74]

It has some good moments, but it shouldn't take an archaeological expedition to reach them. [Sept 2007, p.58]

After just a half-hour, SLC 2002 will be straight in the trash. It's a mathematical certainty. [May 2002, p.77]

With no online community, no single-player gameplay and no replayability, Crasher has already crashed. [June 2011, p.74]

This game will find an audience...that could fit into a high-school gymnasium. [Sept 2005, p.70]

My advice? Forget about this accursed game and play "Diablo II", "Dungeon Siege II", or "Titan Quest" again. [Apr 2007, p.68]

Play never feels fluid, a problem compounded by the horrible, poorly ported PC controls. [Sept 2012, p.61]

There's nothing here gameplay-wise that's new or original, or even competitive, given the season...The lag in online bouts is atrocious. [Holiday 2004, p.34]

The real puzzle is why anyone would consider this entertainment. [June 2007, p.71]

Pretty darned awful...With barely five hours of gameplay, no voiceovers, non-existent AI, and amateruish chapter-ending cartoons, Hero X can't even rightly be called a decent bargain-bin pick. [Oct 2002, p.102]

After just a few of the 10 missions, it becomes painfully evident that the Myth II engine was simply not designed for the task of modeling modern combat.

If you can read this review, you're too old to play Robot Arena. [July 2001, p.72]

A cynical attempt at milking players for money. Bullet Run plays like a tacked-on online mode for a singleplayer game.

Sloppy controls make for an infuriating platformer. If you want a modern Sonic game, get Generations instead.

Unspectacular graphics only serve to accentuate the game&#8217;s myriad physical and visual shortcomings.

No-frills tedium. [Holiday 2006, p.88]

MoB's terrific art style and wanton dismemberment are completely wasted on this overwhelmingly inadequate shooter. [July 2009, p.82]

Almost-passable fare for a wacky-golf game, but it can't hold a candle to the superbly crafted "Links" and "Tiger Woods" games of even several years past - both of which are available for this game's $20 price. [Dec 2004, p.106]

Mass murder by dragonbreath has never been so monotonous. [Feb 2005, p.71]

The only feeling of authenticity you'll get from Platoon is the same sort of futilitiy that pervaded the actual Vietnamese conflict. [Feb 2003, p.68]

Slow, technically flawed and dogged by premium microtransactions. A sorry take on a classic card game.

An ARPG with weak combat and too many bugs, Bombshell isn’t worth your click-click-clicks.

Doesn't offer anything worth even a cursory glance. Even squad-based strategy-game fantatics should take a pass on this lousy $20 beer coaster. [July 2004, p.55]

Just a few years back, golf ruled the PC scene. Now we've got one game left, and it's a crappy third-rate console port. [Dec 2007, p.76]

An over-designed shooter that missed the joy in its central concept and instead locks you into purgatorial combat loops. [Mar 2010, p.80]

Overly simplistic gameplay, repetitive jumping puzzles, and all-in-all monotony. [Sept 2003, p.97]

Good grief--I could buy Half-Life 2 with that $10. [Aug 2011, p.76]

Some solid puzzles can’t rescue what is an otherwise terrible adventure game.

The worst gaming goat since that one in Broken Sword. This is a dumb, limited novelty game that's not worth the asking price

In PR terms, it's the world's costliest public beta. There's a lithe control system in the wreckage, but it'll take many updates to dig it out.

A sentence of 25 to Life lasts only six to seven hours if played on medium difficulty. [Apr 2006, p.51]

It's such a disappointment that I'm worried this will kill any chance of us getting a meatier Legacy of Kain game—but at the same time, given how Ascendance sets up Elaleth's further adventures, it might be better if Kain and his pals go back into their coffins.

If you don't buy one game this year, Medieval Lords should be it. [March 2005, p.72]

A shameless knock-off that repeats many of DayZ's problems. Worst audio ever. Bullets for sale? Really?

A shallow, slow, grind-heavy MMO crippled by a horrible interface and nonsensical player limitations.

Combat is largely devoid of any tactics, and the only interesting aspect of the fighting is a two-fisted system that lets you swing a sword with one hand and fire a gun with the other. [July 2004, p.68]

There's little redeeming value to this poor knock-off. Maximus is spinning in his grave. [Jan 2003, p.106]

The same shabby AI and pathfinding that plagued the original have survived the trip. It's truly despicable that none of the problems were fixed. [Jan 2003, p.110]

Updates are planned, but this needs too much work under the hood to be worth your time or money. [May 2017, p.89]

The battles are pretty damn chaotic. They're also devoid of fun, have little rhyme or reason, and often leave you with no idea why you won or lost. [Oct 2002, p.97]

A hideous collage of unconsidered platforming and vapid combat in a procedural world bleached of meaning. [Aug 2012, p.70]

Think about it: the developer built in a level skip. I recommend a cheaper alternative: the game skip. [Oct 2008, p.66]

Getting voted off THIS island makes you a winner, not a loser. [Feb 2002, p.79]

Ditch this loser and go play one of the three far-superior Splinter Cell games. [Oct 2005, p.68]

This is an immense disservice to the Flatout franchise, and one that makes Flatout 2 look like a vehicular ballet. [Apr 2012, p.72]

The physics are a joke, even for an arcade racer - driving these machines is about as exciting as pushing heavy wooden blocks around a cement floor. [Feb 2005, p.71]

A thoroughly appalling console port that should've never left its PlayStation jewelcase. [May 2001, p.77]

Bargain bins are overflowing with shooters that are oldies-but-goodies. This one's a newbie-but-crappy. [July 2005, p.65]

Making matters far, far worse is the game's tendency to randomly crash to the desktop when you enter new areas. If you must play this game (and I emphasize the word "if"), remember to save often. [Apr 2005, p.73]

A misguided attempt at parody, underpinned by a poor sports game by anyone’s standards.

Just a series of abstract puzzles strung together by a very thing story, and no real interaction with other characters. [Dec 2004, p.89]

Value priced at only 20 bucks, but not rreally worth the penicillin shot. [Dec 2007, p.70]

Shame on you SEGA, for disrespecting fans with this sad excuse for an action game. [Aug 2008, p.65]

The PC version is nothing more than formulaic action/adventure that's been dumbed down for kids. It's a waste of everyone's time...A colossal disappointment. [Oct 2004, p.92]

Hell, it's so bad, it makes David Lynch's ultra-tedious 1984 movie adaptation seem positively refreshing. [Apr 2002, p.76]

The really smart thing is to quit out early, uninstall it and play damn near anything else instead. [Mar 2010, p.85]