The terrible camera angles will force you to constantly use the manual camera adjustments, which is part of the reason you get killed so often and have to restart levels. [Mar 2004, p.62]

It seems that my best efforts to "train" [my fellow climbers] in the various arts of climbing, they all seem to lack the most basic cognitive thinking. In fact, they keep insisting on trying to walk through rocks (as opposed to simply walking around them), and they bunch up when it comes time to climb, crawling around on the ground like common baboons. [Sept 2004, p.63]

The mystery is why you would insult yourself by playing it. [Feb 2005, p.61]

For some reason, Greek developer Anima PPD thought the world was yearning for a new FMV game, <I>and</I> one with the production values of a Malaysian music video. [Jan 2004, p.105]

Crappy gameplay mechanics, crappy graphics, crappy AI, crappy gameplay options, and crappy controller support. [Holiday 2003, p.110]

Walle-E may be rated E for Everyone, but no one should be forced to play it. [Nov 2008, p.71]

It hurts to say, but it must be said: This one's a mythtake. [Aug 2005, p.61]

It's not as bad as a Pauly Shore film marathon, but neither is it worth your time, energy, and money. [Holiday 2005, p.70]

A bug-ridden quagmire that rivals the 'Nam itself. [Aug 2005, p.57]

With little satisfying gameplay to back it up, Charlie's $30 price tag borders on insult. [Nov 2005, p.80]

Unless it receives some extreme patching, don't bother with this game. [Sept 2005, p.64]

Chances are, you'll have more fun reading a medical textbook. [August 2002, p.69]

Playing alone with bots is unbearable - the AI players run into walls and can't aim for squat. [Apr 2004, p.74]

This shooter's imbecilic AI and laughable weapons-modelling all scream "rush job," through each of its nine sleep-inducing missions. [July 2003, p.75]

This is a Red Alert on the Bad Game Threat Advisory meter, a third-rate ripoff of "Postal" so tasteless that I wanted to scrub myself with Lysol after getting up from the computer. [Dec. 2006, p.56]

Developer Dartmoor Studios seemingly cranked this one out for the sole purpose of filling the space between "Airport Tycoon" and "Coffee Tycoon" on the budget game shelf at Wal-Mart. [Nov. 2006, p.76]

Unbearable drek like Jazz and Faust is the reason some people keep saying that the adventure genre is dead and buried. [Oct 2002, p.102]

A Festival of Crap. [July 2002, p.63]

Family Guy: Back to the Multiverse hates you. It's poorly made, nasty, expensive and exploitative. I hate it right back.

More regrettably, the sexual content is as limp as a pre-Viagra Bob Dole. [Apr 2005, p.67]

In the future, everyone holds their pistols sideways "gangsta-style," which I find hilarious. [May 2005, p.69]

The features that aren't missing are bugged beyond use. Takedown is a bare-bones wreck in need of substantial patching. [Holiday 2013, p.56]

As you're chucking the box, notice how wonderful it feels to be able to aim properly; and as it hits the trash can with a satisfying clunk, you can be assured that you've just experienced the height of its realism. [Nov 2003, p.117]

Even Skeeter and Zeke don't much like this pid'ful excuse for a racer. [August 2002, p.68]

If the miserable gameplay doesn't turn you off, the underwhelming visuals will do the trick. [Nov. 2006, p.60]

All told, BDB took less than 30 minutes to beat, and there's no point in playing it again. [Oct 2002, p.98]

Whatever you do, don't waste your time or hard-earned dough with BYSB2007. [Jan. 2007, p.83]

What really condemns Demonworld, though, are its atrocious graphics and horrific AI and pathfinding. [Apr 2002, p.73]

Worst of all, this is a fighting game in which the fighting is neither exciting nor funny. The controls are a wreck, whether you're playing using a keyboard or a gamepad. [Jan 2004, p.119]

It's one of the most inaccessible games I've ever played. [Oct 2004, p.90]

Legends, you're the worst. [Feb 2013, p.79]

All you get here is abysmal action, miserable controls, and a story ripped piecemeal from the cartoon. [March 2005, p.75]

Now that it's saddled with a price tag, a bare minimum of polish, and one new course, I'm not even sure just telling you to avoid it is enough. [Holiday 2011, p.81]

Say hello to another cheap bottom-feeder from Europe. [Nov 2005, p.76]

Suitable only for the most forgiving, or perhaps younger, Star Wars fans. [May 2001, p.62]

Someone, please think of the children and put an end to this crap. [Mar 2002, p.72]

A turd of a third-person shooter that so revels in senseless violence and horrible design, I needed a shower every time I stopped playing. [Holiday 2004, p.100]

For a mind-boggling $59.99, you get slow, sloppy fighting (punches and kicks pass through opponents), miserable controls, and feather-light physics that make it seem as though the game's 35-plus tin combatants are battling on the moon. [Holiday 2006, p.114]

The game barely qualifies as playable given its myriad of technical issues, but even when it is working as intended, you'll wish that it wasn't.

And the mundane levels have been stretched out with keycard hunts, mile-high ladders, and endless corridors. [June 2005, p.72]

Apart from its bonus Exploration option(a travelogue mode where you can hop to the island's prettier locales), Anacapri: The Dream is as compelling as cold espresso. [Dec 2007, p.76]

An awful and punishing experience... It's not as if adventure games needed another punch to the crotch. [June 2005, p.74]

It's quite simply a foul-mouthed stinking piece of adolescent crap. [May 2004, p.73]

This buggy clunker wouldn't be worth playing even if it was being given away for free. [Oct 2004, p.99]

As far as RPGs go, Konung 2 may very well be the worst I've ever played... Stay away from this disastrous sequel, even if someone gives it to you. [Apr 2005, p.70]

It's as if the designers had never even seen a computer game, let alone played one... It's just a terrible game. [July 2004, p.61]

Orion: Dino Beatdown is an entirely broken FPS. [Sept 2012, p.77]

This crappy collection of minigames, in which you play as House and his team of diagnosticians, doesn't come close to the TV show's soap operatic magnificence. [Feb 2011, p.77]