Hey Poor Player's Scores

  • Games
For 1,720 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 12% same as the average critic
  • 39% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 74
Highest review score: 100 The Talos Principle 2
Lowest review score: 20 The Lord of the Rings - Gollum
Score distribution:
1720 game reviews
    • 69 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Justin Roiland’s stuttering, drunken humor pairs up surprisingly well with a cross between Metroid Prime and Ratchet and Clank. Sure, the story stays on the short side and some of the character writing winds up being hit-or-miss, but if you’re a fan of Roiland’s comic stylings and want to enjoy a playable Rick and Morty episode, you’ll get that and then some with High On Life. Even those who aren’t Roiland aficionados can still enjoy the vibrant planets that are a delight to explore and gameplay that stays fast and fluent.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Biomutant on the PS5 is a greatly enhanced experience that, whilst unable to fix some of the more fundamental issues baked into its core, is a much better-realized version of the developers’ vision. Running on significantly more powerful hardware than that on which it was originally released, Biomutant’s exploration and combat shine brighter than ever. If you were put off by the technical limitations that held Biomutant back, this version is very easy to recommend, and even easier to sink hours upon hours into.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Cat Cafe Manager is one of those games you don’t know you need until you start playing it. It’s cozy, heartfelt, charming, and silly in the best of ways. And so soothing that you’ll find yourself still playing even after you’ve completed all the in-game objectives. Which is why it pains me to give this game the score that I did. Because, as thoroughly enjoyable as everything I’ve described above is, the game has some serious issues that need addressing.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Scarf is the perfect game for players who fondly remember titles like Spyro, Journey, and Abzu but want to be able to finish a game in its entirety in one sitting. Its emotionally driven storyline is short, sweet, and to the point with aesthetics that enchant from beginning to end. If you’re looking for something with a fresh yet familiar feel to sink your teeth into without committing too much time and money, it’s honestly hard to top Scarf.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    If you have friends to play with regularly, I think this Tokyo 2020 is a great option for you, despite inconsistent event quality. There are enough good ones to have a great time, and you can make your own playlists to avoid the bad. For others, though, this is a more difficult recommendation. The single-player modes can be plenty fun, but there’s a lot of sitting around to get to those bursts of enjoyment, and its simplistic nature likely won’t hold your attention for long. I wish I could be confident the online modes will provide a way to keep the fun going, but early signs aren’t favorable. This is the sort of game I once called a great rental. Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 may not win the gold, but at the right price, it could squeak out a bronze.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    It may not be the smoothest experience and I’m certainly missing some quality of life updates that would have made quite a difference, but that didn’t stop Neighbours back From Hell from being the low-brow, low-effort kind of fun that doesn’t take itself seriously.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Overall, Wind Peaks is a delightful, if short game, though I’m not quite sure that the current price point accurately reflects the content that’s available. That being said, if the hint at future content is accurate, I’d be willing to revise that opinion. I finished the game in roughly 2 hours, and it was a thoroughly enjoyable couple of hours. There’s a gentle scaling of difficulty so that the game never feels boring or too repetitive. Charming art style and super relaxing ambient sounds. Honestly, I just wish the game was longer. If you’re looking to switch things up and play something gentle and soothing, give Wind Peaks a shot.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    If you were drawn to Subway Midnight’s art style and love novelty and/or spookycute games, you’re going to immediately love this one. Its unique, constantly-changing visual style is mind-bogglingly impressive, especially to those who can appreciate the sheer amount of work that went into it. If you’re looking for a spooky (but not scary) game to get completely sucked into, a ticket to ride on Subway Midnight only costs $9.99.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Long Gone Days may not be the most engaging RPG in terms of its gameplay, but you’ll struggle to find another RPG this year with as much heart and passion for its subject matter. By focusing less on the huge conflict that serves as the backdrop, and instead focusing on the smaller, more touching tales of people going above and beyond to help one another through awful situations, Long Gone Days truly feels like nothing else I’ve played. Had the combat been a little more engaging, Long Gone Days would absolutely have been a better time, but even as it stands, it’s a title that excels enough in everything else it does and is well worth experiencing.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    This game isn’t entirely what I was hoping for from a Super Bomberman R sequel—it re-uses a lot of content, and its Story Mode could use a little work. Still, there’s definitely more good than bad when it comes to this game. So long as you aren’t bothered by its just-okay single-player experience and reliance on Super Bomber Man R Online content, Super Bomberman R 2 is a great game that’s sure to be a blast for you and your friends.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    It’s stunningly gorgeous, intuitive and creative, and a delightfully unique little puzzle-platformer. If I had to find something “wrong” with Out of Line, I suppose that it’s perhaps a little on the short side (it can be beaten within just a couple of hours). The default controls are also not ideal; the keyboard keys work just fine (A moves you to the left, D to the right, W jumps), but paired with having to click the mouse buttons to throw and retrieve your spear in conjunction just didn’t feel very smooth to me. Thankfully, that was easily solved by simply using my PS4 controller. These are honestly minor complaints, though. The game is beautiful and oddly moving, considering the complete lack of dialogue. If you need something a little different from your standard platformer, give Out of Line a try.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    If you love films like Planet Terror, fast-paced, Devil May Cry-inspired combat, and babes in bikinis whose sole purpose is to slaughter as many zombies as possible in the name of revenge, then Onee Chanbara: Origin is a title well worth adding to your PS4 collection. Tamsoft did an incredible job of modernizing these dusty PS2 gems while providing an aesthetically pleasing makeover. While the game may be a bit short, there’s no denying that it’s extremely well crafted and succeeds in delivering an over-the-top, hack-&-slash bonanza of anime-inspired madness.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    The Centennial Case: A Shijima Story is absolutely one of the better murder mystery FMVs out there, bringing together acting portions with interesting mechanics and a stellar story with a surprising twist. Although the mechanics did feel a bit at odds with each other at times, it doesn’t stop The Centennial Case: A Shijima Story from being a truly fascinating experience that was hard to put down. If you love a good murder mystery that plays like a movie but makes you feel like you’re reading an Agatha Christie novel (albeit in Japan), The Centennial Case: A Shijima Story has waited a century for you to try it out.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Dariusburst: Another Chronicle EX+ is a lot of fun to play in the moment. While I don’t love every design choice the development team made, I completely see what so many fans love about it. This Switch port, however, is a cheap one, not doing a great job of utilizing the platform or providing the sort of content expected of a home port. If you’re desperate for more Darius on your Switch, it’s not a bad option. With two different Darius collections releasing last year, however (One for the series’ arcade history, another for its console history), and with Darius Cozmic Revelation on the way, which will include this title and a remaster of the excellent G-Darius, there may be better options for you to enjoy killing robot fish on the go.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Although Lawn Mowing Simulator might get a laugh or two in its concept alone, it’s a genuinely good simulation game that allows players to manage the landscaping business of their dreams. While it’s not as satisfying as PowerWash Simulator, it’s just as relaxing — if you enjoyed one, you’ll likely enjoy the other. If you want the satisfaction of a lawn well mowed but don’t actually want to get outside and mow a lawn (and that irony isn’t lost on you whatsoever), Lawn Mowing Simulator is begging you to take the wheel.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    While Serial Cleaners isn’t without its issues, this macabre mop-’em-up has its moments, but only the most patient custodians of carnage will likely want to see it through to the end. The writing is fantastic, and the characters all bring something new and exciting to the table with their various talents. If you enjoyed the original game and can look beyond the grime and viscera that occasionally gunk up the experience, you might just find Serial Cleaners to be a dirty job worth undertaking. It’s not much, but it’s honest work.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Big Bang Pro Wrestling looks great, and parts of it hold up really well, even 22 years after its initial release. Its gameplay is a somewhat odd mix of simple mechanics, which require a bit too precise of timing and positioning, but get some friends together who loved wrestling in the era it was originally made, and I’m confident you’ll have some fun.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Last Stop tells a wonderful story that is well worth your time. There’s just so little that feels like a video game in it. Most of what is here feels like it’s included because someone was afraid players had too little to do. At its best Last Stop feels more like watching a solid season of TV. That’s not inherently a bad thing. A few sequences, however, show how embracing the gaming format is able to enhance it, and definitely left me wanting more. As long as you go in with the right expectations, though, I think you’ll find a lot to like.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    With the making of footage in Rayman: 30th Anniversary Edition underwhelming, the major selling point of this release is having access to a lot of different versions of one 30-year-old game. When the game is as fun as Rayman is that still doesn’t make for a bad package, particularly with the inclusion of all the extra level packs released in the years after it came out, but it can’t help but feel disappointing compared to many of Digital Eclipse’s stronger efforts.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Obviously, I'm not completely satisfied with everything—the relationship mechanics are essentially a gamble, now, and we're straight-up chugga-chugga-choo-chooin' through certain loading zones, but there's a reason that I played 130 hours of this game. At the end of the day, Rune Factory 5 is a fresh and enjoyable new entry to the series, and I really think that fans will come to love it just as much as they have every other title.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Sword Art Online Fractured Daydream is undoubtedly a game made with tons of fan service, but that also leaves it a polarizing experience for newcomers. It captures the spirit of SAO with its engaging MMO-like experience, but the dated mechanics, repetitive gameplay, lack of polish, and narrative shortcomings leave much more to be desired.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Is a fairly solid beat ’em up paying homage to the greatest of Kevin Smith’s greatest gags worth a full fifteen dollars? While the enjoyment of it seems a bit situational, if you’re a fan of Smith’s comedy hijinks and want a playable museum of his best, I’d say that fifteen’s worth it. While the challenge is there and the combat satisfies, it doesn’t strive to make any new ground in the genre, other than a couple of tricky levels inspired by games of the era it aims to imitate. This is perfectly fine because it does all that it needs to with what it is, a simple NES throwback with some 90’s movie flair that thrives for nostalgia in more ways than one.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Though I appreciate you can save and quit without losing progress, I do wish stages had more checkpoints. I often would have to start from the very beginning of a stage after dying several sections in, which is irritating. But as an old school gamer, there wasn’t anything game-breaking here. Hell, there’s not even knockback on the easier difficulties. It just might be more of a challenge for those unversed in such adventures. Overall, I’d recommend this to fans of retro games who want something new to check out.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Mothmen 1966 is a game that truly lives up to its own advertising and hype, providing a unique pixelated pulp-fiction approach to the visual novel formula, while focusing on a delightfully creepy, bizarre bit of American folklore. If this is the first in the series, I can’t wait for more.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Touken Ranbu Warriors is an extremely difficult sell for fans of Omega Force’s previous work, given how stripped back a product it is. Small scale battles that can be over in minutes, along with a complete absence of any meaningful progression or grind, completely rip the heart and soul from the now infamous 1 vs. 1000 formula. If you’re a fan of the Touken Ranbu franchise who has yet to sample a Warriors game, then you may find some joy in the depiction of the Touken Ranbu universe and the accessible nature of everything. For everyone else, however, it’s safe to say you can avoid this and hold out for the imminent release of Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes, which should hopefully have a little more meat on its bones for longtime Musou fans.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Clash of Chefs VR may appear simple and childish due to its bright and cheery aesthetics, but don’t judge a menu by its cover — this game will even challenge those with a food handler’s permit. Spending three years in Early Access did Clash of Chefs VR plenty of good, as all that time in the oven ensured a smooth and relatively bug-free experience. If you’re looking for a good VR simulator that you can keep coming back to for fun and frantic gameplay, Clash of Chefs VR will satisfy that craving.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    I really was hoping Cyber Citizen Shockman 3: The Princess From Another World would continue the positive trend of the last game’s success, but sadly in some ways this felt like a small step backwards, at least in terms of gameplay. That said, this is a very ambitious and visually striking entry in the series, and even though the balance isn’t great, you can always use the cheats to make life easier. If you’re curious about the series, I’d still say it’s worth checking out.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    I went into Ultimate Ninja Storms Connections expecting a competent arena fighter, and while I definitely got that, what I didn’t expect was an experience that thoughtfully packaged together the greatest hits of Naruto’s early years in a way that would serve as an entry point to the Naruto universe. The result is an experience that is both welcoming to newcomers, while still catering to seasoned fans with the expansive character roster and standalone story that may appeal to series veterans more than it did me. With substantial single-player modes and competent online net code that rarely faltered, Naruto x Boruto Ultimate Ninja Storm Connections is a well-rounded package that should impress both fans of Naruto and those simply looking for a solid arena fighter.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    I can’t hide my disappointment with The Chant. I had a real hankering for a supernatural game this year, after getting some hands-on time at Gamescom. Instead, I’ve been left with questions about what this game could have been. It could’ve usurped Until Dawn, one of the best recent examples of a supernatural horror game, but with a more intriguing and deeper plot. It could’ve been a new fascinating way to approach and manage combat situations with three meters that operate together in harmony, giving you complex gameplay decisions to tackle alongside challenging combat. It could’ve been a new campy horror game, a guilty pleasure, similar to some of those dreadful TV shows I named at the start. But unfortunately, it’s neither of these things. Instead, you’re left with a story that feels incomplete and lacking depth. You’re left with combat that lacks any sort of meaningful challenge. And ultimately, you’ll be left like me: very, very salty.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    The game itself is an incredible homage to classic horror games with just the right amount of modern-day infusion to allow things to run smoothly (when they are running, that is). Bug-free, Song of Horror is scary for all of the right reasons and is absolutely worth checking out. However, in its current state, I’m not so sure that it’s scaring players in the way that it intends to. At least the PC version supposedly works just fine!

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