Hey Poor Player's Scores

  • Games
For 1,720 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 12% same as the average critic
  • 39% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 74
Highest review score: 100 The Talos Principle 2
Lowest review score: 20 The Lord of the Rings - Gollum
Score distribution:
1720 game reviews
    • 72 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    That’s really the case with the entire Breakers Collection, though. It’s bare bones because there’s not a lot to the Breakers games. They’re mostly fine-fighting games with some balance issues, which stood out on the Neo Geo in the 90s but struggle to do so in 2023 on modern platforms. The new content helps but isn’t enough to make a collection that is barely a collection appealing. I’m glad to see them get a home release because I’m for keeping all games accessible, but they’re not titles I expect to return to regularly, and I expect most fighting game fans will feel the same.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Despite its engaging concept and moments of brilliance, the game is held back by these shortcomings, making it a journey of both delight and disappointment. This ultimately leaves Phantom Abyss feeling like a treasure chest that’s only partially filled – it has its share of gems that shine brightly yet leaves enough space to make you wonder about the treasures that could have been.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    I don’t begrudge a game the ability to make money. I want to see games succeed. Constantly being hit up to spend more and more just isn’t a good experience, though, at least for me. It feels predatory at times and makes me simply want to stop playing it. The game underneath all of those transactions is well-made, if very derivative of Persona 5, without hitting the highs of that title. Still, if they released a version paced like a regular RPG, I expect I’d want to see it all the way through. As is though, Persona 5: The Phantom X isn’t for me. Those who know what they’re getting into with gacha titles, I suspect, will have a good time, particularly if they love Persona, but it won’t change the mind of anyone who isn’t won over by the genre.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Brigandine: The Legend of Runersia isn't your typical grand strategy game. If you love doing things like managing villages and testing your economic prowess, then maybe this isn't for you. But, for everyone else, Brigandine is definitely worth your time. The entirety of each campaign provides an engaging struggle which puts your tactical combat prowess to the test, and its multiple factions each provide detailed stories, each of which is sure to keep you hooked. Despite my gripes here and there, Brigandine really doesn't need much in the ways of re-working. However, it's apparently getting that anyway, thanks to its quickly approaching update centered around providing players with the ability to customize their campaigns as well as more in-depth player UIs.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Forspoken: In Tanta We Trust is a narratively enticing piece of DLC whose tiny explorable area and lackluster magic system might scare away those looking for a follow-up with a little more oomph. It’s also worth noting that the very end of the DLC sequel baits hard. And, while I’m not sure that Frey’s second journey will ever come to fruition (I’m very aware of everything that’s been going on), In Tanta We Trust, despite its flaws, did help me to look forward to that Forspoken follow-up… if and when it happens.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Overall I really enjoyed B.ARK, even though I suspect the best way to play is with friends in local multiplayer. That said, it’s still a solid shmup even in single-player. When you throw in colorful art, an interesting premise, and decent replay value, you have a very solid game. I personally feel this is the best offering from Tic Toc Games yet, and I hope it’s a sign of things to come from the small team. Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I still need to beat the boss rush…
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    While I do have reservations about how long we’ll be playing this game for, as well as mechanics that got left behind, given Ubisoft’s commitment to Rainbow Six Siege, and how much they’ve continued to support and add to that game, I’ve no doubt that they’ll do the same with Rainbow Six Extraction. A year or two from now, I’m certain we’ll have a compelling reason to continue playing this game…Evaluating what we have right now, I think it’s a great price for a great game, so, as long as you’ve got two friends to play with, you’re going to have a blast. And if you've made it all the way down here, and want to know if Lord Tachanka's mounted machine gun still chugga-chugga's, well, comrade, it does, it most certainly does.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Clea 2 is exactly what it needs to be—a short and engaging horror game with a unique mechanic that makes things just as fun as they’ve ever been. If you liked Clea, then you’ll most definitely like what Clea 2 has to offer. And, while the story might not make as much sense, the game’s good enough to stand on its own two feet if this is where you decide to jump into things. Either way, though, if you’re as much of a horror junkie as I am, you owe it to yourself to check Clea 2 out.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Postal: Brain Damaged is, rather ironically, a sane and clear-headed new direction for the Postal series. Taking out the menial errands and aimless open world of Postal 4 to focus on straightforward levels and intense wave shooting was a great choice. Though the humor is as low-brow as ever, it’s much less repetitive and dials the penis and poop jokes down from a grating 10 to a tolerable 5. Featuring a vast variety of wild weapons and a netherworld full of nightmarish nemeses to use them on, Postal: Brain Damaged is a long-awaited return to psychopathic form for the series.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Those issues aside, I very much enjoyed my time playing Spidersaurs. Fellow fans of Contra will find something to love here, while fans of WayForward’s brand of uplifting and chaotic fun should also have a good time. This is the best unofficial spiritual successor to the Contra franchise I’ve played in quite a while, and a great example of a classic genre done justice in the modern era. If you’re itching to blast some hideous hybrids to a pulp, this is your game.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    In the end, I have very mixed feelings about Cathedral. I appreciate the style and concept, and even find the game fun a lot of the time. But all that is put at risk by questionable design and unbalanced difficulty. If you’re not afraid of a little pain, you’ll likely have a lot of fun. Those that are adverse to annoyance will need to decide if this game is worth the price of admission. That said, I do hope that developer Decemberborn AB is able to use my critiques to make a more balanced Metroidvania in the future. Because rough spots aside, there’s a lot that I enjoyed here.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Mutropolis is definitely one of the better point and clicks I’ve played in recent memory, and was a pleasant surprise on every front presented. I genuinely enjoyed every moment I spent with it — even when stuck — because it was such a joy to look at and explore. There were a few times I got stuck, certainly, but nothing that kept me from progressing for too long. If you like point and click games with good puzzles, great depth, and an incredibly unique story with fun characters, your quest for Mutropolis ends here.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Samba de Amigo: Party Central is an easy sell for Samba De Amigo fans, but it’s also a must-buy for anyone who enjoys rhythm games. It’s got that fast-paced quirky gameplay to keep novelty-seekers on their toes with a tracklist that pretty much anyone will find familiar. Its single-player campaign is challenging while its multiplayer mode amuses — especially that World Party mode where the last monkey standing takes all. Whether you’re a long-time fan of the franchise or testing out your maracas for the first time, Samba de Amigo: Party Central will keep you shaking for hours.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed my time with Scarlet Hood and the Wicked Wood. Wonderfully storybook-esque, with a surprisingly moving story, and full of great humor, Scarlet Hood is a unique experience. If I had to nitpick, I’d say that some of the puzzles are perhaps a little too esoteric, but none of them are truly unsolvable. With multiple endings offering plenty of replay value, there’s a lot to recommend for Scarlet Hood.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Despite any aforementioned hiccups, Patron is an addicting medieval city-builder that can hold its head up high amongst the others in this well-established genre. With absolutely gorgeous visuals and a soothing, ambient soundtrack to match, Patron looks and sounds good — and for players who loved similar titles like Banished, it’ll feel good as well. If this is one of your first medieval city-builders, you may need an attempt or two before you really understand the ins and outs of running such a settlement, but diehard fans of the genre are bound to discover that Patron is their pewter goblet of mead.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Sokobos may have the premise of a potential Greek tragedy, but this game is anything but tragic. A fantastic, fresh take on the Sokoban formula, Sokobos provides players with plenty of brain-teasing adventures that’ll keep them occupied for the length of an entire odyssey or two. If you’re looking for a puzzle game that will really make you sit and think without giving a god-tier headache, Sokobos only costs a few drachmas for dozens of hours of delightfully difficult gameplay.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    The Forest Quartet will get you into the swing of things. While I do wish The Forest Quartet would’ve pushed itself just a bit farther in the gameplay department, and the whole experience winds up on the criminally short side, it doesn’t fail to impress with what is there. With likeable and interesting characters, a soft but smooth graphical design, and a superbly soulful soundtrack, this is a short but sweet tale well worth saving for that rainy afternoon when you need a little comfort game.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Ultimately, Arcana of Paradise -The Tower- is still an incredible, mysterious journey, and one of the best deckbuilders I’ve played. And yes, that list also includes the likes of Slay the Spire. So if you’re looking for something unique and don’t mind a little grinding and occasionally unintuitive controls, this is absolutely a game worth your time.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    This game made some really strange choices, and I can't say that I agree with all of them. And, to that end, I feel like some of you out there will end up feeling that way as well. You'll still be able to find all of the traditional SoS garnishings within Story of Seasons: Pioneers of Olive Town if you're willing to dig deep enough—just be prepared to do a whole lot of crafting along the way.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    If you sometimes get tired of plodding, greyish-brownish-greenish pseudo-realistic military shooters, this is the antidote. Dazzlingly colourful, unrelentingly fast-paced, unrepentantly zany and bursting with potential for player creativity, Shadow Warrior 3 is absolutely joyous to play from start to finish. So after 25 years, do I STILL want some Wang? You’re damn right I do!
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    In some ways, No Straight Roads felt like the second coming of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. It had all the right ingredients to be the perfect blend of rhythm and action into one phenomenal package. And while it does plenty right, it’s a little too off-key where it counts. Some fine-tuning on the combat would certainly help sync the boss battles with the aesthetics and exploration aspects, as that mechanic carries way too much weight to ignore. Still, I can’t lie — I’ve absolutely fallen in love with No Straight Roads for what it does offer, which is an explosively intense experience that will punch your teeth right out of your face. If you favor adventure over rhythm, there’s no reason not to pick up No Straight Roads; if beats are more important than battles to you, perhaps wait for tickets to go on sale.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    If you’re a beat-’em-up fanatic with a PlayStation Store balance to burn, 9 Monkeys of Shaolin might soothe your fighting spirit for an afternoon or so. But at $30, it’s hard to recommend to all but the most pugilistic players out there. If you’re looking for a PS4 brawler with a bit more meat on its bones, I’d recommend getting your hands on Fight’N Rage or Streets of Rage 4 first. Not only are they cheaper options, but they also offer much more bang for your gaming buck.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 100 Critic Score
    With an unbelievable look, tight gameplay, and bravura moments which shouldn’t work yet do, Song of Iron breaks away from the pack and stands alone. It is a stunning achievement and an absolute must-play. Hear the song and join the fight.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    If you love Toriyama-san’s art style and world-building and share his love for vehicle design, then Sand Land is the game for you. With its unique blend of exploration, vehicular combat, unparalleled customization, and engaging narrative, the Sand Land video game is a manga brought to life.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    It isn’t difficult to see why Adventures of Pip is still making the rounds on various consoles, despite its age. It’s a fun platformer with a unique gimmick that not only adds to the game but celebrates some of the many forms in which video games have come. It’s not the very first game that I would recommend to Switch-owners. However, it’s still one that I would suggest to those looking for new platforming worlds to explore.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    I’ve been so tough on Mars Horizon. Know that I’m sorry about that. I was more deeply invested in getting to Mars than I’ve been in a ton of other games this year, so know that it comes from a place of adoration and a desire to see some quality of life improvements to a phenomenal game. If you love space, get this game. If you want to learn about the processes behind space exploration, get this game. I genuinely hope the developers make some of these improvements, but even if they don’t, Mars Horizon has been a joyride I won’t soon forget.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Glitchhikers: The Spaces Between is excellent, but it’s not for everyone. If walking simulators aren’t your speed, I don’t know if this is going to be the one that’ll change your mind. But if you’re a huge fan of liminal spaces and esoteric musings, Glitchhikers: The Spaces Between is absolutely for you, but I recommend it in small bursts. If anything, it’s reminded me that sometimes it’s not the answer that matters, but the fact that we’re asking questions is enough. Thanks, disembodied low poly heart particles in the middle of the woods.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Touch Detective 3 + The Complete Case Files remains a classic series on the 3/DS now home in its remastered, complete state on the Switch. Its silly stories and charming characters provide hours of entertainment for gamers of any age but will especially delight those who remember the titles fondly on their original hardware. If you’re looking for a franchise to fall in love with but don’t want to break the bank, it’s an open and shut case — grab Touch Detective 3 + The Complete Case Files for the Switch.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Despite these concerns, I’ve had a lot of fun with Abyssus, and I imagine I’ll continue to do so. It’s not the most complicated game I’ve ever played, and it has some balance issues, but it just feels so good to blow enemies away and to chain abilities together that can cause massive havoc around you. I’ll just make sure that when I come back to Abyssus, I’m consistently doing it with a crew of friends who are all ready to cause even more of that mayhem with me.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Cozy Grove invites players to be productive, but at a slower, almost foreign, pace. There’s no rush — all goals are achievable if you spend an hour or two each day on the island. This may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you pour one while you slowly wake up to calming music and simple fetch quests, it’ll set a relaxed mood for the rest of the day. If you enjoyed Animal Crossing or Spiritfarer, you may like this cute, chill mash-up best played in spurts.

Top Trailers