Hey Poor Player's Scores

  • Games
For 1,720 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 12% same as the average critic
  • 39% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 74
Highest review score: 100 The Talos Principle 2
Lowest review score: 20 The Lord of the Rings - Gollum
Score distribution:
1720 game reviews
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    The true yardstick by which an exercise game should be measured is whether or not it was effective in getting players off the couch and into physical activity; I think it’s safe to say that Knockout Home Fitness clears the mark. Its short but intense sessions are appealing to those who, like me, struggle to commit to cardio; after only 15 minutes each day, you really do feel like you’ve gotten in a good workout. While I do wish it better instructed players on form and stretching, its rhythm-based mechanics make martial arts-based exercise fun and, dare I say, addicting. If you’re ready to jumpstart your fitness journey but don’t know where to begin, Knockout Home Fitness will absolutely get you going on the right track.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Mineko’s Night Market is a charming narrative-driven game fueled by crafting and resource collecting. Its silly, snarky writing is smile-inducing, its unique aesthetics are inviting, and its core loop easy to comprehend yet oddly challenging to complete. Although I wish there had been more of the writing in favor of the mechanics, I can’t fault Mineko’s Night Market for giving us this delightful romp across a whimsically magical island. If Mineko’s Night Market calls to you, grab it — you’re sure to get plenty of enjoyment out of it.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Relicta has too much gone wrong for it almost immediately into the game. What was great about Portal was that the game relished its simplicity and as a result, was able to be something surprisingly more, even game of the year worthy. Relicta doesn’t feel like that. With a plodding plot you have to trudge through, puzzles that are fun yet flawed, and characters whose motivations seem few and far between beyond finding ways to slip in a swear word, the game seems to be trying too hard to be deeper than what it needed to be. Though the puzzle aspect is incredibly challenging, beyond that, there really wasn’t much to enjoy about this game.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Despite its flaws, No More Heroes III is a worthwhile addition to the series. With the performance issues that distracted on Switch now a thing of the past, and the best combat that the series has produced to date, No More Heroes III is capable of providing an overload of gorgeous, chaotic fun. With combat this good, it's a shame that the rest of the package feels so woefully outdated at times. By relying so heavily on past gimmicks and humor, No More Heroes III becomes a recommendation for die-hard fans only, rather than something that could have had a more widespread appeal had some more efforts been made to modernize the experience.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Spelunker HD Deluxe isn’t going to appeal to everyone. The game is unforgivingly difficult, and many of its more frustrating mechanics would have been better off left in 1985. However, those who can look beyond these quirks will find there’s plenty of fun to be had deep underground. With clever stage designs and an addicting loop that will have you saying “just one more go,” it’s bound to appeal to fans of the series or players who just want a good challenge. If you don’t find yourself in either of those camps, you might just want to remain topside.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Honestly, I just wish I could have spent more time with SPOOKWARE Episode 1. I managed to roll the credits in just 3 hours, and though I have achievements to unlock still, I’d much rather wait for the next episode. My only question now is whether those subsequent episodes will be free downloads to owners of the game, or whether they’ll each go for a premium. Either way, SPOOKWARE is a game that’s quite entertaining and sure to appeal to fans of WarioWare. Here’s hoping we don’t have to wait too much longer for Episode 2.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Sable does so much well that it’s a shame that these issues consistently distract from its stunning world. This is the sort of game that may be easy to recommend in a few months after a few patches, but I can only rate the game as it is. There’s still a lot to like here if you’re willing to put up with some frustration along the way. Just know that if you purchase it now, you’ll be dealing with a less than smooth ride.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect from B.I.O.T.A. Though it diverged from the Metroidvania genre in some significant ways, I really enjoyed this challenging throwback to games of the past. It marries a compelling and dark sci-fi plot with challenging platforming, fun boss fights, and a vast colony to explore. It’s not a perfect game, and I was definitely frustrated by the many instant death traps, but it’s still a game that retro fans should check out. And that goes double if the game ever makes its way to game consoles.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Xuan Yuan Sword 7 tells a compelling story with gorgeous scenery and loveable characters, but it’s difficult to recommend to just anybody. I’m usually not one to knock game length, but a linear 15 – 20 hour experience for $49.99 is a harder sale than most. If you prefer story and style over combat and gameplay, Xuan Yuan Sword 7 is a no-brainer, its focus on familial bonds between brother and sister absolutely heartwarming. If you’re looking for a little more action in your ARPGs, Xuan Yuan Sword 7 probably won’t give you the satisfaction you’re expecting.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Conway: Disappearance at Dahlia View is a scintillating sleuthing story that just about anyone will find absolutely riveting. A 10 – 20 hour investigation that will keep players on the edge of their seat until the very end, Conway: Disappearance at Dahlia View is definitely worthy of any detective game fan’s time. If you’re looking to get lost in a mystery game that will keep your heart rate up, Conway: Disappearance at Dahlia View won’t let you down.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    For better or worse, Beyond A Steel Sky sticks to the conventions of its predecessor and classic adventure games. Fans of Beneath A Steel Sky are sure to be satisfied with Robert Foster’s newest escapade into Union City, but some of its charms may be lost on a more modern audience.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    While the two games featured in this collection might feel a bit dated at times—mostly Rhapsody—there’s no denying that Prinny Presents NIS Classics Volume 3 is a wonderful and entertaining look back at where NIS’s journey into the world of SRPGs all began. Given that NIS is running through their old stockpile rather quickly I’m not really sure where they’ll go with Prinny Presents 4 (if there is one). Maybe we’ll get a new localization? Who knows. Either way, I’m looking forward to it.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Sludge Life 2 is another gaming triumph given to us by the delightfully deranged team behind the first iteration. Everything about Sludge Life 2 builds upon the amazing original, its wacky humor and over the top narrative pushing new boundaries while staying totally on brand. Sludge Life 2 had some big, muddy shoes to full, but it did so with cleverness and competence. If you want a uniquely unhinged gaming experience, Sludge Life 2 is ripe for tagging.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Little Nightmares III is a solid sequel that honors the franchise’s horror foundations but stumbles with excessive caution. It’s a nightmare worth having, but one that feels hauntingly familiar. In a series built on unsettling expectations, familiarity is its scariest weakness. For series fans seeking more puzzle platforming in The Nowhere, Little Nightmares III delivers exactly that—no more, no less.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    With its bite-sized stages and mostly braindead enemies, CrossFire: Sierra Squad might disappoint players hoping to find the closest thing to Call of Duty in VR. However, that doesn’t mean you should write it off completely. If you’re looking for a solid arcade shooter with a wide variety of weapons to wield and lots of replay value, CrossFire: Sierra Squad is a solid addition to your PSVR2 library. And if you can find a friend to enlist with, you’re bound to have some fun ridding the world of terrorists, one bullet at a time.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    I really didn’t know what to expect from White Shadows, but I’m glad I had the chance to cover it. It’s a very ambitious first effort by Monokel, and it doesn’t pull any punches. While the difficulty of the game was a bit top-heavy, I still enjoyed my time with it. If you enjoy puzzle platformers and don’t mind some truly haunting imagery, I’d definitely give it a shot. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to see if there’s another ending I have yet to unlock after unintentionally becoming the “destroyer of worlds”…
    • 70 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Engaging combat, brilliant boss fights, and top-notch level design that is amplified further by the creative dual-world mechanics introduced by Umbral, all coalesce into a version of Lords of the Fallen that not only leaves its predecessor in the dust but moves the genre forward in meaningful ways. That being said, it’s difficult to ignore the lackluster performance that significantly impacts upon the experience of the opening few hours, resulting in Lords of the Fallen not being the absolute recommendation that it should be.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    I really enjoyed my time with Yurukill. It brings together two very different genres and presents a satisfying version of each. If those two sides elevated each other, we could have been looking at a terrific game. Instead, however, those sides mostly just sit alongside each other, feeling like a strange marriage that doesn’t entirely make sense. Fans of both visual novels and SHMUPs should certainly check Yurukill out, but if you’re only into one side of this equation, it may not entirely satisfy.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    In Sound Mind is a case of a great idea hobbled by flawed execution. It has some fascinating mechanics and an engaging story to tell. However, to experience the game’s best parts, you’ll have to suffer through a lot of moments of frustration. If you’re up for the challenge, this might just be a psychological horror title worth checking out. For anyone else, you might want to wait and see if developer We Create Stuff can iron out the kinks first.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    It’s a feature-rich romp with enough meat in its shell to satisfy the most discerning gilled gladiators. With a surprisingly lengthy campaign, addicting multiplayer, and plenty of customization options, it’s a game that will keep you coming back for more. If you’re fishing for a quirky, physics-based title in the spirit of Gangbeasts or Human: Fall Flat, then look no further. Fight Crab is an absolute keeper.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    If you have friends to play with regularly, Cruis’n Blast can provide light arcade-style thrills. With over-the-top courses, a catchy soundtrack, and simple gameplay, there’s fun to be had. There’s just not enough content to justify it for anyone else, though, especially when basic features expected of the genre are missing.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    As a whole, Anuchard is a fun game. It’s quirky, it’s perfectly pixely, and it combines city building and dungeon crawling surprisingly well. Unfortunately, the game gets bogged down by repetition, repetition, repetition. Even when puzzle-solving elements build off the fundamentals, it just isn’t enough of a change to the mechanics to keep it from eventually starting to feel like a slog. While undoubtedly a solid game, Anuchard is unfortunately just a little too mired in the past.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    The Last Case of Benedict Fox Definitive Edition clearly alleviates and improves upon many of the grievances it suffered from in the original release, but some of those glaring problems are still there. Nonetheless, the game offers an engaging Lovecraftian narrative filled with gorgeous artwork and interesting characters bound to keep Metroidvania fans entertained. Just know that there are much better ones out there.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Make no mistake, Turrican Flashback is a nice retro throwback. But I wish Factor 5 and publisher ININ Games did more to make it the proper celebration of the series it could have been. Aside from four pixel-perfect ports, there isn’t a lot here to justify the collection’s $30 price tag. Sure, you get the usual features like the ability to rewind your game and save states and a few visual filters. But save for those modern amenities, Turrican Flashback doesn’t offer much else apart from the aforementioned soul-crushing challenge and a load of zany weaponry.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    It’s like this — Absolute Drift: Zen Edition is undeniably a good game, but I can’t say it’s for everyone. It’s a bit like baseball vs. golf — one is all about hitting that ball as hard as you can and running like the devil’s after you, whereas the other is all about keeping track of things like terrain, wind speed, and 42 different clubs while you plan your varying strategies. Sure Absolute Drift: Zen Edition is a driving game, but it’s the golf of driving games; if you’re more of a batting cages kinda player like I am, this one might be more of a swing and a miss, no matter how pretty it is (and it is pretty). However, if you’re more of a golfer, this is absolutely a hole in one — it just depends on which stick you like to use to whack a few balls, really (that’s a sentence I wrote and I’m sticking to it).
    • 70 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    I’m positive the developer will be ironing out any kinks mentioned here and by other players, so I’m sure that in six months this will be a much more enjoyable experience; for now, Gods Will Fall falters slightly. I still really enjoyed my time with this one, but only after I brought out my controller and chose characters that didn’t walk at the speed of snail. There is so much potential here, so if you’re not sold yet, please either check it out on console or keep this one on your radar and revisit in a few months. Gods Will Fall has solid bones, and with a little more love and attention, it will achieve the greatness it seeks.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Immortal Realms: Vampire Wars does have some pleasingly involved battles, but as a grand strategy game, it is a tad simplistic and limited in scope compared to the titles it draws inspiration from. Still, the campaign provides for an entertaining romp, and it’s well worth delving into these dark realms if you’re a fan of the strategy-RPG genre.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    I may not have been particularly invested in the printed goal of the quest. Still, I certainly enjoyed my time expanding the map, grapple swinging, and trouncing any would-be adversaries that stood in my way of reaching said printed goal. But, in an industry riddled with a plethora of similar experiences ranging from middling to exemplary, a game that manages to simply be solid, fun, and respectful of my time is certainly enough for me.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Road 96 Mile 0 takes familiar elements from Road 96 and Lost in Harmony and impressively incorporates them fairly seamlessly. Although I did feel that the exploration portions could have benefited from some variety in gameplay, the music-running portions definitely picked up the slack. If anything, Road 96 Mile 0 excels in its ability to showcase two best friends struggling against an unfair world while still trying to be regular teenagers. Whether or not they remain friends is for players to decide.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Ultimately, I had a fantastic time with Risk System. It’ll require your utmost concentration and patience, but it’ll reward you with an exhilarating ride.

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