Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z does some decent things right like the cel-shaded comic book narrative… and well, that’s about it. I wouldn’t suggest this for a fan of the Ninja Gaiden franchise or for someone who enjoys speedy action platformers.

Fans of Backyard Wrestling may want to try this game out, but then again, they might have more fun with a blowtorch and video camera. Lord knows I would.

I get the feeling that development on Star Wars: The Clone Wars may have been rushed to coincide with the release of the second season of the show, which is kind of a shame because there is a lot potential in the concepts behind it.

This title may be worth the rental to test the waters, but save your real money for another racer, as this one is covered in mud.

Few levels provide much of a challenge, so breezing through the entirety of the game in a short period of time is more than likely, though for sub-15-buck price, it’s not much of a lost and can be worth it if you’re looking for a quick downloadable fix. But surely this blended concoction has sorely missed the bull's-eye of arcade perfection.

It appears, at a glance, that Asphalt 3D is an incredibly strong launch title. Local multiplayer, plentiful maps, decent graphics, and fast-paced gameplay should all mix together into something worthwhile. It doesn't take long for everything to fall apart, though, and before long the scratches on the surface turn to full-blown gashes.

In its return, NBA Live 14 helps kick off what there is to come for next-gen gaming, but as a representation for sports brands, it’s not the best outing.

I really wanted to like Naughty Bear, but there are too many faults that either disrupt the gameplay or are just too unbearable to ignore. The experience, unfortunately, bears no fruit.

All the games are too short, or just plain not fun, leaving players with no compelling reason to picnic in this park.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that Rengoku’s few cool ideas are short-circuited by bad design and boring gameplay.

It's like a big aerial trick that looked cool, but ends up with the rider squashed by his own bike.

It would have been fine to integrate the storytelling in the play—of which there is absolutely none—and had a “meh” battle system, because that would bring this up a few notches. But instead, it’s little more than an interactive manga with some battles tossed into some of the most boring environments this side of Dragonball Evolution.

Trust me when I say you'll have more fun testing a phaser set to stun on yourself.

Dull and soulless. An effort in tedium.

Instantly forgettable and certainly regrettable, this fighter is preposterously short on both brains and brawn. Here's to hoping that Streetwise listens to its title and is indeed the final Final Fight.

The shooty stuff is okay, the cover is fine, the difficulty is all but nonexistent given your inability to die, but the worst part of all of this, the real slap in the face, is that it costs FIFTY !@#$ING DOLLARS

I suppose if you absolutely have to buy Bloodforge because you're dabbling in a unique form of economic S&M, you might find some guilty pleasure here.

Ultimately, though, the biggest blow against the game is its brevity. You shouldn't have trouble clearing its single-player mode in two or three hours.

I could go on to tell you about the terrible graphics, the ho-hum animations, the appalling voice-acting, and Perseus's stupid shoulder shrugs whenever he speaks. But really, this game has taken up enough of my time and yours.

The ugly unpolished moments and Looney Tunes character animations are so silly, especially when the dead civilians everywhere are much more depressing than whimsical.

Simply a terrible game. Bad graphics, poor sound, lousy play mechanics, dull mission design, occasional crashes and no Captain Kirk combine to make this an adventure best left to the unknown.

This could possibly be the worst hero game since Superman 64.

The game was meant to put players into a spooky kind of mindset, but everything about it is just frightfully boring.

The main difference between the PSP port and its PS2 relative, aside from the terrible loading, is the inclusion of co-op monster battles. If you and a friend both have copies of the game, you can get together in a fight against a monster.

The hobo outside could do a better job than whomever they picked to do the voice acting.

In general, playing the game is a sinusoidal process of momentary elation as you uncover a new element, quickly followed by deep disappointment as you discover it’s a piece of crap.

Street Supremacy introduces an interesting concept with the racing gang turf war, but drives it off a cliff with bad handling, little excitement and no fun.

Duke gets stale as a character quickly.

I could go on to tell you about the terrible graphics, the ho-hum animations, the appalling voice-acting, and Perseus's stupid shoulder shrugs whenever he speaks. But really, this game has taken up enough of my time and yours.

This could possibly be the worst hero game since Superman 64.

Simply a terrible game. Bad graphics, poor sound, lousy play mechanics, dull mission design, occasional crashes and no Captain Kirk combine to make this an adventure best left to the unknown.

When compared to a game released in 1977 that was really only one step more complex than Pong, Tank Beat got… beat.

Too many technical problems and not enough fun drive this bike straight into the ground. You'll have more fun playing "Hang On" again with "Shenmue."

Adventure Time: Explore the Dungeon Because I DON'T KNOW! does a great job of managing and working with the story, characters, and feel of the franchise, but unfortunately doesn't have the gameplay to match, especially at a $40 retail price. If you're interested in the narrative and the chance to play as your favorite characters, wait for the price to come down to $15-20, more in keeping with the kind of downloadable title this game feels like.

You won’t be playing much, however - New Vision relies too heavily on cut scenes and conversations, only pausing to slip in an action stage here and there.

In general, playing the game is a sinusoidal process of momentary elation as you uncover a new element, quickly followed by deep disappointment as you discover it’s a piece of crap.

The Kinect might be going through something similar to what the Wii went through early on, but hopefully it gets through the growing pains... this one's gotta hurt.

So wildly uninspired, so entirely rote in its design that it barely qualifies as decent merchandising even at its discounted $20 price. The GR judges give this one the finger.

Really, with the Wii controller and nunchuck the game becomes even more tedious.

Someone needs to recycle this plastic and make something more useful, like a toilet paper holder.

For those of you that care, I've gone through an eighth of a liter of scotch since starting this review. And I'm certain that the number of brain cells I've killed is only a small fraction of the number that committed suicide from being exposed to Ju-On. They were lucky.

Combat is satisfying and engaging.

This game is so bad its suckiness doesn’t reveal itself slowly, but rather right away. It’s likely you won’t get halfway through your first race before the boredom sets in.

If the game is patched extensively, there are hints of an interesting enough story to make it worth a playthrough. However, at launch, the amount of game-breaking bugs present makes Broken Porcelain practically unplayable. It’s only because I had the duty to review it that I got as far in as I did, and I doubt the typical gamer will have the patience to get past the first hour.

Even diehard Resident Evil fans should save their money, as I can't think of a single reason anyone should buy this.

Out of the Shadows is yet another bad Ninja Turtles game. Between the game's loud and ugly UI and the glitches, bugs, and general sloppiness, there's only enough hope for the good intentions to improve next time.

Vampire Rain feels like the raw prototype of a fleeting idea. Extra modes and collectibles are all accounted for, and the game isn’t broken, but such a bare, simple title it isn’t worth all the frustration.

Combat is satisfying and engaging.

But the saddest part has to be the staggering number of people who worked on this thing, including some well-respected developers. Just check the credits from the manual. I’m not counting them all, but that’s about 400 names.

The real problem is that the game is frustratingly hard. The camera is wily, and the tall buildings of New York frequently get in your way.

Do not buy Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor. If you do, don't play it.

The worst part about my experience with Godzilla is the fact that it didn't provide laughs or enjoyment because of its poor quality. Instead, I just sat there bored for much of the time as I endlessly destroyed cities and fought other monsters in terribly unbalanced fights. On top of all that, the game costs $60 despite its lack of meaningful content

Here we have a game about a character-driven movie, where the character shines. It may not be stellar, but Napoleon is plenty fun all around.

The game really doesn't offer anything interesting aside from the whole shape-shifting thing, which is does poorly. With empty battles and bland side-quests, the point of it all is lost.

Like a near-death experience, bad games can provide us with a vision of the other side, a gamer’s hell filled with E.T. games and 3DOs. A bad game serves to reminds us why good games are so good, and they cleanse the palette and bring us back to the zero-point of solid game development. If you haven’t guessed already, Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Zombie Ninja Pro-Am is one of those terrible, terrible games.

The one major difference between the fake Calvin Kline's and the rip-off game is that you can probably get the GoW2:GOTY edition for the same price or cheaper than the imposter.

The developers spent far too much time making sure Fight Club looked good in screenshots rather than making sure it would look good during play.

Seven hours of virtual failure. The end result is empty, hollow, and more like a free demo download than a solid retail seller.

This was a poor attempt at reviving the franchise, and Front Mission deserves better.

Deadliest Warrior: Ancient Combat does not prove its mettle. Whatever fun you might have ends as quickly as the matches do. It has a glimmer of potential that flickers out in an instant, much like a single-arrow KO that can send you reeling right back to long loading screens.

Ultimately, though, the biggest blow against the game is its brevity. You shouldn't have trouble clearing its single-player mode in two or three hours.

So wildly uninspired, so entirely rote in its design that it barely qualifies as decent merchandising even at its discounted $20 price. The GR judges give this one the finger.

At least you won't have to suffer long as Kung-Fu Rider clocks in at about 4 hours or so of gameplay.

I was happy that The Shield made great use of its police officer premise, but the game really wore me down. It probably doesn’t deserve a critical thrashing, but the gameplay and story can’t compete on today’s shelves.

But beyond the novelty factor and that one Clapton song, there's not much to Power Gig: Rise of the Six String.

Besides the two seconds of fatality joy, the only other redeeming quality of this game is its price. Major retail outlets tag it at about $20. That’s still about $19 overpriced, but at least they’re not trying to pretend this decorative coaster is anything else.

But beyond the novelty factor and that one Clapton song, there's not much to Power Gig: Rise of the Six String.

The developers spent far too much time making sure Fight Club looked good in screenshots rather than making sure it would look good during play.

But the saddest part has to be the staggering number of people who worked on this thing, including some well-respected developers. Just check the credits from the manual. I’m not counting them all, but that’s about 400 names.

In general, playing the game is a sinusoidal process of momentary elation as you uncover a new element, quickly followed by deep disappointment as you discover it’s a piece of crap.

Ultimately, though, the biggest blow against the game is its brevity. You shouldn't have trouble clearing its single-player mode in two or three hours.

Your time would be better spent by buying that bag of pre-mix concrete and building something useful - and it would probably be more fun.

This is probably the worst racing game (motocross or otherwise) that I have ever played. It plays bad, looks bad, and I'm sure if I sniffed it, it would probably smell bad, too.

If you're 12 years old and Mom won't buy you the game with the guns, then this is a relatively nonviolent and enthralling adventure that I think even adults can sink their teeth into.

There is no reason to buy or rent this tragic mess of code, and while it’s not the end of the world, it’s damn close. Evil indeed.

Call of Duty Black Ops: Declassified doesn't just lack a story-it lacks an attempt at a story. It doesn't just lack good multiplayer stages; it lacks stages. It doesn't just have a few occasional bugs; it has entirely too many gltiches, disconnections, and crashes-though I must admit, seeing a chopper spawn inside a house is good for a few laughs.

Every other rail shooter that’s been released for the Wii is better than this one. Target: Terror is unnecessarily difficult and every bit as hollow as it is ugly.

Though the game is in 3D, you cannot move the camera at all. It just tracks Bruce and zooms in and out randomly. Half the time you'll be fighting a guy standing off screen. Not that it matters, though, since the enemies are morons who simply perform the same attacks over and over again.

Unfortunately, while its developer can roll out a patch to improve its performance, it can’t roll out a patch that will increase its player-count. With that being said it is impossible to recommend Rekoil, a game which is swiftly heading towards stagnation before it ever had a chance to prove itself.

To say that its immature and painfully unfunny sense of humor would be appreciated by 13-years-olds is doing a disservice to the intelligence of 13-year-olds, as Zombeer makes Duke Nukem Forever look like Withnail & I.

Besides the two seconds of fatality joy, the only other redeeming quality of this game is its price. Major retail outlets tag it at about $20. That’s still about $19 overpriced, but at least they’re not trying to pretend this decorative coaster is anything else.

This gameplay is about as much fun as riding the Monorail.

Its moments of thrilling gameplay and competition-rich multiplayer are sideswiped by bad performance, the poor implementation of Slam, and frequent glitches. The series might have once had potential to be revived, but Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5 makes sure that all signs of life have been squeezed out of it.

Quality assurance is a beautiful thing, people. It keeps sprites on the screen, weapons able to be picked up when available always, and everything working as they should. I don't know if all was alright in Windows, but playing on a Mac… well, don't bother.

A poor excuse for a kart racer, and a poor excuse for a game. Everything else seems so much sweeter in comparison. A good punch to the face would be like candy to me.

Controls, rather, your body is wonky.

Not only is the movie a copy of another movie, it's now a game which copies a movie which copies another movie. Too much copying means no innovation.

You'll find it almost unplayable thanks to both the worst camera and control in the history of video gaming.

You can turn down the volume, but you’re better off turning down this game. That’s harsh, but so are the graphics, the A.I. routines, the missions, the gameplay, and the characters.

If there ever was a game to be pointed to and laughed at, it would be this one.

My mother didn't like me quitting the piano because I didn’t find it fun anymore, but Rhythm ‘N Notes commits a far worse offense. It takes the joy of music and turns it down to a mute.

I've been sticking my finger in my mouth trying to hurl this filth back up. Maybe I can get KISS to "Lick It Up!"

There’s some charm to the cheesy interviews and the upgrades like the fold-down barbecue grill, but Pimp My Ride is such a flimsy game - so plain, so bare. It's catchy enough to play once or twice, but it can’t hold a candle to Burnout.

In general, playing the game is a sinusoidal process of momentary elation as you uncover a new element, quickly followed by deep disappointment as you discover it’s a piece of crap.

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT under any circumstance give this game as a gift to anyone you would like to stay on good terms with. Not even die hard Survivor fans could possibly enjoy this game. Instead, send a copy to your worst enemy.

To add insult to injury, when Batman gets hurt, his animation is to fall over like a domino. Here you've got a fully equipped destroyer of crime, and he takes punches like an inflatable 'punch-em' clown. This speaks pages for how poorly the rest of the animation fares.

If I can leave you with one thing before you leave this page, it’s that you should not play this game. Don’t spend money on it. It’s meant to be bundled with these consoles for suckers so eager to play with the latest in-home ripoff technology that they’ll spend more money to get games they don’t want with it.

Among my canon of crappy games, this one takes the cake as the most vapidly pointless game yet. Good bye, Angels, I’ll see you in Hell. In this case, Hell being under my mug of java on the coffee table.