Kinect body "controls" work surprisingly well.

If you define yourself to be ghetto in the first place and are attracted to 187’s roughneck outer shell, prove you’re a hoodlum and blow your money on more dubious material instead, like a bottle of Old English. After spending some time playing this poser, I could use a swig myself.

The horrible game mechanics will keep all but the most die-hard Trekkies at bay.

It provides roughly fifteen minutes of absolutely gruesome, chaotic pleasure, then promptly nosedives into the Mariana Trench of bad design, bad graphics and bad control.

Sure, I’m busting its balls, but Gangs of London isn’t all terrible. It’s just really easy to pick on the bad A.I. and repetitive gameplay.

Probably the closest thing to compare it to would be the Dynasty Warriors series. Its games are not known for being the most in-depth, but they at least strike the good balance between hack-and-slash and RPG that Warriors lacks.

Blades of Time offers plenty of variety but without much substance. Combat is fun, levels are enjoyable, and enemies are challenging, but nothing is significant enough to be memorable. It's fun for the moment, but easily forgotten by the weekend.

Legends imply greatness; but Soul Calibur Legends is only the greatest loser -- a throwaway hack-and-slash action game. Unattractive, lacking depth, and generally not fun, this dull blade can't parry its long list of flaws with anything worthwhile.

Younger kids who can enjoy a game on the merits of simply making a nice looking character move around will dig it, but its strange difficulty might be too much.

How many rednecks does it take to enjoy The Dukes of Hazzard: Return of the General Lee? Three! One to play it, one to drink his beer and one to shoot the player when he asks to be put out of his misery. Unless you’re a die-hard fan, look elsewhere.

So the story and gameplay fall flat, but part of what made the Seven Samurai film so incredible was its revolutionary cinematography. Does Seven Samurai 20XX at least excel in its look? Nope - the streak continues.

A cool multiplayer can’t make up for the rest of this totally uninspired, cookie-cutter rush job masquerading as a pirate adventure. Alone, this pirate is a dud. But find some fellow captains and a few pints o’ Jack’s rum, and you’ve got yourself a parrrty, mate.

The problem isn't with Operation Raccoon City's premise. There's plenty of excellent games that came before and are very worthy of mimicry (Left 4 Dead), but the execution here is all off.

Mighty No. 9 tries to hold onto its legacy, resting on its laurels while the rest of gaming world has left town a long time ago.

Except for a few clever puzzles, a strong story, and a handful of pretty pictures, this licensed mess is mostly a failure.

The artificial intelligence is brilliant...for a goldfish. For an AI program, however, it's pathetic.

Despite its overpowering shortcomings, the game is still a Naruto game through and through. Strictly for the Naruto-minded.

Unlike most other mini-game collections, multiplayer seems like an afterthought instead of a primary focus.

This caught-between-generations game manages to just barely clear graphical obstacles and shallow depth by introducing some simple, fun game mechanics.

In short, everything that Evolution changes from the original Tetris is a bad idea that makes the game worse. That this game sells for $30 is a joke, there are much better games for cheaper on Xbox Live Arcade.

I could inundate you with tales of vital objects disappearing, level-ending enemies failing to appear, and an A.I. that fluctuates between omniscience and fetal stupidity.

What really puts the hurt on this game is the lack of any real challenge or fun.

So I don’t know who Alien Rage is marketed towards. It’s a completely capable and attractive shooter that does almost nothing special. I had fun playing it, but at this point there are other older games on Steam you can play for the same amount of money that I’d recommend many heartbeats sooner.

It's inexcusable that Activision didn't see fit to shave down the 360 price a little; 60 bucks is an outlandish request considering there is absolutely nothing extra in the next-gen version.

A better option is to stay in that comfy office chair and check out the thousands of free poker games on the Internet, most of which have a slicker presentation and interface, anyway.

While I'm on a tirade about the bad, let's talk stupidity; in this case, the enemy AI. Baddies are as dumb as an inebriated possum caught in a set of headlights.

Despite its new look, fairly interesting storyline, and a bucket load of new moves and features, this game is fatally flawed by the completely revamped control system which makes it a nightmare of frustration.

Konami, I know you've been making games for years. We all really enjoyed the arcade games you've graced us with through the decades. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will live in our hearts forever. You had X-Men, Dance Dance Revolution, ESPN NFL Primetime, and of course your golden egg, the Metal Gear Solid series. But please, can we say NeverDead never happened, never alive? Chalk this one up, call it a tax write-off, and get back on the horse of awesomeness.

The game’s best feature is its inclusion of the twenty year-old version of Rampage, which is actually smarter, deeper, and just plain better than Total Destruction. That's sad. Flee in terror.

At least you won’t have to play this weak game for very long because it’s short, linear, and has no multiplayer. Even a drunken sailor knows what to do when faced with this kind of fool’s gold. Anybody got a plank?

With total presentation so lackluster, it's just disappointing overall.

Some gamers can look past gritty textures and stickmen for the decent gameplay and variety, but the poor control that plagues 007 Racing is hard to resolve.

The crisp control, big moves, player upgrades and massive weaponry might have made for a cool action game. However, the awful camera crashes onto these dinosaurs with the force and effect of a planet-busting asteroid, effectively driving them extinct.

The dialogue is wretchedly forced in its unrealistic, overly ghettoized slang penned by writers who have read every stereotypical hip-hop street language book on the shelf. Expect something like: "My big dog G-gangsta Buck, dog! You blaze down the streets and show them that I'm the real street O.G. Ya heard?"

Other than a ton of moves, this baller has zero street cred.

Other underachieving facets of the game, such as the awful, wildly repetitive music and the atrocious voice-acting, probably deserve comment, but I'm all out of apologies.

Don't spend your money on How To Train Your Dragon, no matter how much you enjoyed the movie. You can easily do better than this terrible, movie-tie-in, mad grab for cash.

I guess the unkindest kick in the, uh, waste cubes is the lack of extras.

If you're looking for an easy hack-n-slash to play in between servings of some better, more robust game, then Legion: The Legend of Excalibur might not be a bad rental.

Bryan Singer built his movie around an emotional core; Superman Returns is an empty gaming experience that needs tuning, heroics and a conclusion worth fighting for.

Despite the feeling of catharsis I achieve when playing Koi, it still lacks many of the fundamentals that make a video game compelling. Add in the fact that the experience only lasts around two hours, and the result is a game that feels incomplete.

It manages to stumble all over itself from the second you turn it on and never manages to recover. Simple control functions are handled clumsily, changing weapons is a chore and someone actually thought the dumb melee-exclusive levels would be a good idea. Like the rest of this stinker, it is not.

For every spark of a neuron, there’s a cluster of dead cells threatening to snuff it out. The entire enterprise feels like a bundle of great ideas that mix together into something that’s less than the sum of its parts.

It seems like a smart evolutionary step for the series to begin aping (ha) Nintendo's better handheld experience, but not when it treads down a path paved with banana peels, which, I am conditioned to believe, are very slippery.

Dated in almost every way.

It's ugly; it's slippery; all of the enemies blend together because they're all the frickin' same... it's awe-inspiringly bad, really. Not since Superman 64 have I played something this stomach-wrenching, and at least in the end that was funny-horrible. This one skips by funny-horrible and goes right back to bad.

It would be even more fun, though, if I had more ships at my disposal earlier, in a campaign that weren’t so linear, or so dull. Still, for twenty bucks, this is a game worth probing.

The real problem with the game is that it’s too light on everything. Too light on action. Too light on excitement. Too light on story. And too light on gameplay. There’s no need to be subtle in a great hack-n-slash game since you need something to make the game worth playing. But you won’t even find mindless action here, only a brain-dead game.

There’s no online play, which is as surprising as discovering that your Ford Fiesta doesn’t have anti-lock brakes.

Rumor has it that GameDay 2002 is superior to GameDay 2001, but that's sort of like saying a bop on the head is better than a punch in the nose. I wouldn't pay for either of them.

The depth of unlockable modes and challenges is a welcome surprise and allows for plenty of action without the mess of searching for keys without a decent map. Did I mention that the map is worthless? It is.

Terrible control, lame features and an overall lack of excitement make this law enforcement experience worse than an episode of "Cop Rock."

The real problem with the game is that it’s too light on everything. Too light on action. Too light on excitement. Too light on story. And too light on gameplay. There’s no need to be subtle in a great hack-n-slash game since you need something to make the game worth playing. But you won’t even find mindless action here, only a brain-dead game.

Crusty Demons is a pretty bad game, folks, one that blindly robs from plenty of better games and only avoids the GR toilet because it lets you hurt yourself a lot.

It provides roughly fifteen minutes of absolutely gruesome, chaotic pleasure, then promptly nosedives into the Mariana Trench of bad design, bad graphics and bad control.

The A.I. consists of walking-towards-you-to-hit-you and occasionally walking-away-from-you-because-they-are-hurt. Your character seems to be the only one in the game to have studied the ancient art of running.

It can be difficult, but usually this difficulty stems from horrible camera angles, slow animations, and ill-positioned save points.

The game will appeal to small children, its target audience, and may provide an enjoyable multiplayer experience with parents who want to help their kids achieve the game's goals. However, for a game that had the potential to be a fun racer (consider the flying sections of Sega's karting game, Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed), it's bland and feels like it was thrown together to meet the release date.

But whatever "fun" might be experienced is abbreviated by a terrifyingly bad plot, and frustrating gameplay choices. While it's true that comparisons may be drawn to God of War, or Devil May Cry, they will always inevitably end with the statement: "Go play those instead."

When you add in the fact that the camera seems to have a mind of it's own, then factor in the slowdown, compounded with the fact that you can barely see your opponents because it's so freakishly dark, you have to wonder why you're wasting time on this painfully inadequate, near crap game.

The execution falls flat on its head. The characters lack the mobility to face the alien menace and the game is unforgiving in its approach.

Once the gross novelty wears off, you'll discover that there's not a lot of game underneath, and even Hannibal Lecter would get bored after this many victims.

That said, if you can ignore the multiplayer and prevent yourself from using gold unless it's absolutely necessary, Spartacus Legends is a satisfactory free-to-play fighter for what it is. Of course, that's a tall order when the game wants you to spend money on premium currency anywhere and everywhere.

The level design and flow of the game grows tiring quickly.

I honestly can’t think of any kind of gamer that would genuinely enjoy this underwhelmingly over-the-top tribute to everything you’d see if Hot Topic made a video game.

If the dinos don't kill you, our weapon system might.

What it has gained in control it has lost in style and pacing.

Honestly, if the game didn't try to make you hate it, it would be perfectly tolerable, maybe even enjoyable.

Just playing RYL for a week made me want to die. If the game had emotes, my character would have been weeping constantly.

I’m not sure if AWE Games understands the point of adventure games. Players want to go somewhere, live through danger, and feel a sense of accomplishment for overcoming the obstacles. Agatha Christie: And Then There Were None has none of that. Most of the time, you’re just waiting for someone else to die.

Terrible control, lame features and an overall lack of excitement make this law enforcement experience worse than an episode of "Cop Rock."

I've just given this game a lot of grief, but it's possible to get used to the random hardships and persevere, so it's not a complete failure.

We're not laughing with you, guys, we're laughing at you.

One of the most unique games I've played, unique in that there was not a single moment that was truly fun.

If you're being generous and don't care about the missing creation features, then WWE 2K15 is about as strong as WWE 2K14, except that it asks for premium price. In fact, that this current-gen WWE 2K15 could have been better as DLC for WWE 2K14.

It’s just a bit of, well, a waste. It begs for something more, some more substance to the charm that’s already here in spades—more under-the-hood play for those precocious kiddies, more behind-the-scenes goodies for those older kiddies-at-heart who, let’s face it, probably bought WALL-E for their own kids to play.

While the DS is a very versatile machine that can adapt to different play mechanics thanks to its stylus and touchscreen, there are some things it obviously shouldn't attempt. This is one such thing. Avoid like a trip-wire.

I already suffered through the X-Men game this summer, so I figured Family Guy comedy would give the formula a much-needed lift. Clearly I’ve been betrayed, suckered into the same damn thing, and now I’m just frustrated. Family Guy has come very far in reproducing the TV experience, but doesn’t get the same ratings.

It is not unique or special in any way, shamelessly biting the style of other, more polished titles. Erasing this game from your memory is probably a good idea.

After playing Kung-Fu LIVE, you'll hope Finnish developers Virtual Air Guitar get a lot of notice for their game, but you won't want them to step out of this inventive, fun little indie nitch they've found.

This caught-between-generations game manages to just barely clear graphical obstacles and shallow depth by introducing some simple, fun game mechanics.

I'm totally for the idea of a nonviolent FPS, but this one just doesn't work on any level. It's like "Catechumen's" long lost pagan brother. It doesn't even make a good game for your kid brother or son who's hopped up on Atlantis fever. This is one empire that deserves to stay lost.

The essential problem with Soldier of Fortune: Payback is that it tries very hard to appear realistic while trotting out silly gameplay mechanisms. It’s hard to tell if it’s a serious shooter covering the military side of contemporary politics, or a parody.

You'd be better off just going back and watching the animé instead.

It's a travesty to release an already mediocre game before ironing out all the kinks in its broken interface and having enough content to keep it interesting. It honestly feels like the PC version is just the beta test for next year's PS3 version.

Top Gun is amusing for a little while, and hearing "Danger Zone" again (even if it is a cover... c'mon, why not the original?) is all well and good, but when it's so monotonous and has so little character in the "plot", it won't stay in play for too long.

But whatever "fun" might be experienced is abbreviated by a terrifyingly bad plot, and frustrating gameplay choices. While it's true that comparisons may be drawn to God of War, or Devil May Cry, they will always inevitably end with the statement: "Go play those instead."

Occasional hiccups or no, having this much open-world freedom to come at the enemy any old way you see fit is just too much damned fun.

What makes the ending for Ninja Reflex the worst of all time is that it's intentional. It would have been better if the Wii had glitched, or if the memory card had burned, or if I was sucked into an inter-dimensional space where memories die.

If you're a racing fanatic, I probably can't save you from spending your money on this one, but anyone with a sense of the value inherent in $30 needs to direct their attention to one of the many other PlayStation Vita launch titles priced at the same level.

Eragon is a breeze in six to eight hours, and no part, even the final battle, really tasks any of your elite or even rudimentary gaming skills.

Other than plenty of cockpit bleeps and bloops, the sound is also lackluster. Bad, generic metal loops dominate the soundtrack, making you actually wish Kenny Loggins was back on the scene.

DBZ Kinect is a novelty wrapped in repetition. A small child in your household might have a lot of fun, if he or she can properly use the Kinect. While many of Namco's Dragon Ball games feature ever expanding rosters, knock-down, drag-out fights, and really pretty, animé-inspired graphics, DBZ Kinect is a totally passable affair, even for (lapsed or otherwise) diehard fans.

A thoroughly substandard game, the kind generally engineered for resale at your local video game store and only worth a few hours of play on a rainy day while awaiting the arrival of something better.

Regardless of it all, levels are still replayable, and at a price of 15 bucks, LA Cops is a bargain deal.

While hardly as bad as its PSOne predecessor, this one seems content mired in utter mediocrity.

Like an MMA rookie about to get into his first cage fight, Supremacy MMA is wild and energetic but inexperienced and rough around the edges. It's got guts, grit, and growl, but not enough stamina to last a full match, especially when stacked up against other games that cost $49.99.

It’s tough to wholeheartedly recommend Light given its imperfect brevity, but if you couldn't care less about the $12.99 price tag, then by all means give it a try.