If robots ever do take over, I hope the human race doesn’t succumb to a force this stupid.

It's hard to forget the unresponsive controls, ludicrous story, and questionable combat encounters. The game is uneven and inconsistent enough to scare away even eager fans who have patiently waited 20 years for another swing. [June 2009, p.83]

It's hard to forget the unresponsive controls, ludicrous story, and questionable combat encounters. The game is uneven and inconsistent enough to scare away even eager fans who have patiently waited 20 years for another swing. [June 2009, p.83]

So many things could have gone horribly wrong, but the core single-player experience gets everything right. [June 2009, p.87]

Bombing runs can be fun, but navigating slow ships with even slower ammo reloads and babysitting units doesn’t add up to a riveting experience. Count this bored midshipman out.

Count this bored midshipman out. [July 2009, p.88]

Sacred 2 is fun for what it is, but ultimately fails to capture the old Diablo magic. Combat is nowhere near the tight, tactical paradise that Diablo II could reach in its better moments, and the framerate is a constant drag.

Sacred 2 is fun for what it is, but ultimately fails to capture the old Diablo magic. Combat is nowhere near the tight, tactical paradise that Diablo II could reach in its better moments, and the framerate is a constant drag.

This game serves its audience of hardcore fans well. However, at this point Patapon needs to take a cue from its titular characters and start the evolution ­process.

Despite all of these complaints, I can see fans of the original game enjoying this revival. It’s faithful to a fault, and I can think of plenty of older niche games that I would love to see get similar treatment. But if you’ve got no connection to the original, you’ll likely wonder what all of the fuss is about.

The game may lose steam as it goes, but the excellent combat still makes it worth the price of admission.

The game may lose steam as it goes, but the excellent combat still makes it worth the price of admission.

As Velvet Assassin’s story unfolds, a realization begins to dawn. Events have nothing to tie them together. No overarching plot shapes your gameplay experience. Instead, these are vignettes devoid of character or emotional resonance.

As Velvet Assassin's story unfolds, a realization begins to dawn. Events have nothing to tie them together. [July 2009, p.83]

The demon-like enemies, while apt enough in their personification of the evils that the crew brought on themselves, are brainlessly simple to slay. Similarly, the puzzles cleverly illustrate elements of the story but require little creative thought to solve.

Excitebots succeeds where Excite Truck didn’t. Monster Games didn’t just add features, it improved the whole formula.

From the unforgiving difficulty to the minimalist presentation, this title is a naked homage to antediluvian dungeon crawls. [May 2009, p.90]

Demigod is a solid implementation of a unique concept.

With Dark Athena releasing on all high-powered consoles, there is absolutely no excuse not to play this incredible game.

One of the year’s best deals in gaming.

Most of this game’s content is in betrayal of the license, and it’s not all smut, either. In one mission, you are tasked with assassinating Fidel Castro, an act that ends up being just as comedic as The Naked Gun’s assassination attempt on Queen Elizabeth II. Unfortunately, the intent of this sequence isn’t to make ­players laugh.

Most of this game’s content is in betrayal of the license, and it’s not all smut, either. In one mission, you are tasked with assassinating Fidel Castro, an act that ends up being just as comedic as The Naked Gun’s assassination attempt on Queen Elizabeth II. Unfortunately, the intent of this sequence isn’t to make ­players laugh.

Most of this game’s content is in betrayal of the license, and it’s not all smut, either. In one mission, you are tasked with assassinating Fidel Castro, an act that ends up being just as comedic as The Naked Gun’s assassination attempt on Queen Elizabeth II. Unfortunately, the intent of this sequence isn’t to make ­players laugh. [May 2009, p.82]

Gamers who spend the majority of their time in single-player modes should pass this one by. If you’re an online-focused player, though, Tales of Valor provides hours of amusement, especially if the community takes advantage of the excellent mod tools to flesh out the map selection.

The swordplay is silky smooth, and surprisingly deep – allowing players to upgrade weapons with experience earned to unlock additional attacks and powers for three swords.

One of the year’s best deals in gaming. [May 2009, p.78]

Botched DS implementation. [July 2009, p.83]

The touchy controls, coupled with an uneven difficulty curve, result in a game that fails to live up to its promise. [July 2009, p.83]

Rhythm Heaven ends up being pretty limited in its ambitions and scope, but I can’t deny that it had me toe-tapping along for the ride.

If I’m going to spend a long period of time with my hand wrapped around an oblong object, moving my arm rapidly up and down, it sure won’t be with this game.

If the gameplay had more to recommend it, this would be a must-play on the DS. As it is, it’s an amusing if uninspired romp that should give more than its share of belly laughs to the beat ‘em up ­faithful.

Gardening Mama could use more of a Harvest Moon crop economy instead of rewarding players with lawn decorations and new slacks. But if you like Cooking Mama, this is certainly on par.

While I knew I’d love playing the songs off the first four albums, the rest of the soundtrack definitely matches the intensity of the vintage stuff.

Perhaps inspired by the band they so love, Neversoft has dramatically improved the visual presentation. Extensive motion capture sessions with the band have yielded a host of realistic animations and dramatic, 360-degree camera work. Stage sets based on the band’s real-life tours and extensive pyrotechnics displays also help deliver a better sense of authenticity than Guitar Hero: Aerosmith. Also, the improved character models are leagues better than any in the series’ history.

While I knew I’d love playing the songs off the first four albums, the rest of the soundtrack definitely matches the intensity of the vintage stuff. [May 2009, p.83]

Wheelman has enough explosive thrills that you’ll be yelling and laughing the whole time.

Wheelman has enough explosive thrills that you’ll be yelling and laughing the whole time.

Stormrise doesn’t suffer simply because it’s on a console. In trying to introduce a new, supposedly user-friendly unit selection system, developer The Creative Assembly instead destroys almost all of the game’s playability.

In trying to introduce a new, supposedly user-friendly unit selection system, developer The Creative Assembly instead destroys almost all of the game’s playability.

This is a no-brainer for anyone who still has a yellow Hulkamania shirt tucked away in their closet.

This is a no-brainer for anyone who still has a yellow Hulkamania shirt tucked away in their closet.

A solid story and cool puzzles only go so far when the production values scream “low budget” every step of the way.

The good news is that the game, as dull as it gets, doesn't last for more than five hours. It's quick and dirty. [Apr 2009, p.77]

The good news is that the game, as dull as it gets, doesn't last for more than five hours. It's quick and dirty. [Apr 2009, p.77]

The Wii version looks just like the DS version, which is to its detriment since the DS visuals don't look very good blown up on a big screen. [Apr 2009, p.82]

It may be far from perfect, but Echoes of Time's amusing gameplay and ground-breaking multiplayer make this the most noteworthy Crystal Chronicle title to date. [Apr 2009, p.82]

BattleForge is a combination of strange mechanics and bad design. Units are diverse – and yet none of them are terribly interesting. Missions have a ton of variety on the surface, but in practice they’re variations on the same few objectives.

If you haven't played Diamond/Pearl and are looking for a good RPG, Platinum is absolutely the way to go. [Apr 2009, p.90]

In this day and age, you just can't get away with not sharing user-created content online. [Mar 2009, p.95]

Resistance: Retribution is a worthy addition to Insomniac’s series. It adds an amazing story to the existing lore, and is a great standalone experience for those of you who haven’t played a Resistance game before.

Even when it fails, though, Rune Factory: Frontier is packed with so many other activities that there's always more than enough to do. [Apr 2009, p.85]

While this game plays better on the pitch because AI teammates are smarter at taking runs, distributing the ball, and springing others with through balls, it lags behind FIFA in its feedback to the player and the fact that it has a better sim feature while you are on the bench.

Hardcore platformer fans will find this a trying test of skills. Henry Hatsworth could have been one of the most unique and interesting games on the DS, but some baffling design choices hold it back from greatness.

Don’t let the diminutive size or nostalgic look fool you, this is just as complete of a Grand Theft Auto experience as any of the console iterations.

The intelligently designed stages offer a well-balanced challenge even without bumping the difficulty to hard. [Mar 2009, p.86]

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d encounter a game so thoroughly terrible. Where do I even start? The racial stereotypes? The positively broken controls? The revolting art design? Ready 2 Rumble sucks in every conceivable way.

In its attempts to fuse grid-based combat with the series’ RPG roots, Covenant of the Plume doesn’t capture the essence of either, descending into a jumble of mismatched design decisions.

Co-op changes your approach to survival horror, and the masterful pacing ensures you never take your eye off the action. Like its predecessor, Resident Evil 5 is destined to be remembered as one of the best games of its time.

Co-op changes your approach to survival horror, and the masterful pacing ensures you never take your eye off the action. Like its predecessor, Resident Evil 5 is destined to be remembered as one of the best games of its time.

If you play this game the way you should – by slaughtering victims in the most foul of ways – it ends up being a non-stop highlight reel. The ranked boss battles are especially entertaining – think Mortal Kombat Fatalities with the budget of a Star Wars movie.

Collecting codes and manipulating them is engaging, but the rest of the experience is merely functional.

It’s odd that a franchise that has been so creative with its game designs would settle for such pedestrian pursuits. Putting toppings on a pizza? Carrying luggage? Watering plants? Sounds more like “chores” than a party to me.

I want to like Panzers – the basic design is full of concepts that I enjoy, and the presentation is outstanding. It’s a pity that the gameplay sadly lacks the chops to pull it all together.

Nintendo’s goals with this game appear more modest, and they are largely accomplished. If better controls for an eight-year old game meet your equally modest goals, you should find little that disappoints.

The game doesn’t have much new content. A few new courts and characters won’t attract anyone who’s spent serious time on the GC version. Still, I couldn’t help but find myself getting wrapped up it the game again, even if I had the nagging feeling that this version seemed a little easier than it had before.

As much as I’d love to own a panda, after an eight-hour shift in the dullest pet shop in the planet, I was ready to tell my mom to stuff the allowance.

Halo Wars isn't perfect, but it's a huge step in the right direction for console RTS. For the first time in the sub-genre, I felt like I was playing a game instead of wrestling with a kludged-together control scheme. [Mar 2009, p.88]

This is one of the most sophisticated, entertaining, and historically accurate strategy games ever made.

H.A.W.X. is the best flight game so far this generation, and a worthy addition to the best in the Clancy stable.

H.A.W.X. is the best flight game so far this generation, and a worthy addition to the best in the Clancy stable.

I wish I could say that this game's poor design and execution was a surprise, but let's be honest: old Sonic's been down so long it looks like up to him. [May 2009, p.87]

This sequel adds an additional mountain and the use of a snowboard, but the series' easygoing vibe isn't dramatically altered. [May 2009, p.87]

I was hoping that 2K would build on last year’s foundation. Instead, the foundation has been altered to be more appealing to the masses. That’s difficult logic to argue with, but 2K’s approach is way off the mark.

I was hoping that 2K would build on last year’s foundation. Instead, the foundation has been altered to be more appealing to the masses. That’s difficult logic to argue with, but 2K’s approach is way off the mark.

Inferior play mechanics and a shoddy framerate limit the appeal of this year's Wii version, despite the nearly complete feature set and satisfying batting mechanic. [Apr 2009, p.81]

Like this year’s New York Yankees team, MLB 09: The Show is stacked with unrivaled gameplay, simulation, online, and presentation. With "Major League Baseball 2K9" underperforming this year, the choice for baseball fans is easy. The only logical choice is MLB 09: The Show.

With the exception of its stunning graphics, Killzone 2 doesn’t do a whole lot that you haven’t seen before in other titles. But what it does do, it does with aplomb.

It comes out of the gate with a strong opening set and sprinkles in a good joke every time the audience gets restless. But the gameplay itself is as diluted as a happy hour special in an 18-and-over club.

It comes out of the gate with a strong opening set and sprinkles in a good joke every time the audience gets restless. But the gameplay itself is as diluted as a happy hour special in an 18-and-over club.

I just would have liked to see more time devoted to cleaning bugs and buffing out the core riding mechanic. [Mar 2009, p.89]

50 Cent’s first foray into video games (50 Cent: Bulletproof) was a hot mess of action clichés and poor control, so kudos to new developer Swordfish Studios for delivering a vastly improved sequel. It’s a thuggish, high production value exercise in excess – not unlike the music of the man that inspired it.

50 Cent’s first foray into video games (50 Cent: Bulletproof) was a hot mess of action clichés and poor control, so kudos to new developer Swordfish Studios for delivering a vastly improved sequel. It’s a thuggish, high production value exercise in excess – not unlike the music of the man that inspired it.

The Last Hope is plagued by a number of problems, but if you can invest the time needed for this game to blossom (that's a big if), the combat system and mysterious plot reward you well for your time. [Mar 2009, p.90]

Legacy is a little too "classic" for its own good; it needs more than a facelift to appeal to the modern gamer. [Mar 2009, p.95]

Galactrix succeeds in all the ways a sophomore entry should. It maintains the core approach of its successful forebear, but isn’t afraid to integrate a bevy of new ideas along the way. Not every one of these new concepts pans out, but it hasn’t lost the flavor that made so many devote themselves the first time around.

While Drakensang easily exceeds any expectations regarding presentation and scope, the finer points of RPG design - notably combat and player-driven interactions with the game world - are lost on the game. [Mar 2009, p.92]

As much as I enjoyed the world of the original Blue Dragon, I'm just going to pretend this dismal follow-up never happened. [Mar 2009, p.95]

This is an amazingly visceral title with a second-to-none presentation that delivers some of the best tactical action we’ve seen to date. I applaud the developers for moving the staid RTS genre in a new direction, even if I feel that Dawn of War II stumbles a little bit along the way.

Its bare-bones nature is simply unacceptable in this day and age when racing games are getting more interesting. [Mar 2009, p.89]

A distillation of everything the genre does right. It delivers the intensity of competition and the thrill of victory, all through elegant techniques that are easy to learn and difficult to master. Street Fighter IV is more than mere nostalgia - it's the best thing to happen to fighting games in years. [Mar 2009, p.82]

A distillation of everything the genre does right. It delivers the intensity of competition and the thrill of victory, all through elegant techniques that are easy to learn and difficult to master. Street Fighter IV is more than mere nostalgia - it's the best thing to happen to fighting games in years. [Mar 2009, p.82]

The Lost and Damned makes me feel bad for PlayStation 3 owners everywhere. Gamers on the GTA hate train won’t find anything to change their minds here, but series fans shouldn’t miss this incredibly deep expansion pack.

To Prinny's credit, it rewards dedication with inventive stages, clever boss battles, and an enduring sense of accomplishment. [Apr 2009, p.89]

Old-school fanatics should enjoy the gorgeous audio and visuals, but beware the slow crawl to victory. [Mar 2009, p.94]

The turn-based tactical battles and permanent character death are as unforgiving as ever, and the story is banal as only mediocre heroic fantasy can be. Fans will love this for being a nicely updated piece of history; the rest of us will wonder why Nintendo is re-skinning this venerable franchise yet again.

After the embarrassment of The Perseus Mandate, F.E.A.R. 2 should be in consideration for comeback player of the year. While the multiplayer is weak and the mood won’t make people forget Dead Space any time soon, the solid action core makes it worth a play.

While the multiplayer is weak and the mood won’t make people forget Dead Space any time soon, the solid action core makes it worth a play.

While the multiplayer is weak and the mood won’t make people forget Dead Space any time soon, the solid action core makes it worth a play.