An incoherent mix of unattractive art styles and an absurd plot. [Apr 2011, p.114]

An exercise in tedium. [Spring 2011, p.117]

The menus are cumbersome. [May 2009, p.99]

Far too often, Sports Bar VR takes its ball and goes home. [Christmas 2016, p.86]

Storm's thunderthighs remain strangely alluring though. [Apr 2011, p.118]

Placing your shots feels random. [July 2007, p.109]

In a word, "poor." [July 2010, p.107]

The only upside is the soundtrack. [Issue#51, p103]

It's a brilliant idea, let down irreparably by a sub-bar fighting engine. [May 2007, p.114]

One of the worst lightgun titles ever. [Christmas 2010]

Punishingly samey environments. [Aug 2017, p.93]

You realise that you've been driving across the same square of virtual earth for half of a real-life hour, and you feel empty inside. [Aug 2015, p.90]

While it's entertaining at first, the lack of variety leaves a sour taste. [Christmas 2011, p.104]

Look, I didn't say they were fun objectives. [Feb 2010, p.104]

Sometimes you'll want to hit yourself hard in the head with your controller, jus to break up the monotony. [Christmas 2011, p.105]

Gameplay is sandwiched between terrible cut-scenes. [Feb 2013, p.104]

There's just too much wrong at the grass roots level. [Nov 2014, p.92]

Looking past the glitches, Wander's environment fails to reward your curiosity. [Aug 2015, p.94]

Plagued with loading times and bad dialogue. [Dec 2012, p.117]

Pinball is awesome - this is just a massively unsatisfying version of it. [Dec 2009, p.18]

There's some mild appeal. [Christmas 2010]

Given that fans of the movie have surely long-since moved on, there is simply no reason for this game to exist. [May 2007, p.120]

Repetitive gameplay, soulless visuals, and uncomfortable fan service. [May 2018, p.80]

There's an element of novelty in the first few minutes of play, but it doesn't last long. It isn't even the sketchy gameplay that sinks this Battleship – it's the abhorrently commercial objective apparent in every second of rushed gameplay. There's no artistic vision here, and the original idea at its core hasn't been given the time and love needed to build a coherent or enjoyable game.

It's not worth it, mate. [Christmas 2008, p.116]

If the tracking listing consisted of Lady Gaga and Crystal Castles, twiddling a little arrow around and hitting the face buttons might be more satisfying. [Sept 2010, p.117]

A platformer in a supremely pixellated visual style. [Feb 2013, p.107]

There's nothing amazing about this Spidey. [Christmas 2011, p.115]

A good narrative could have saved Saint Seiya from bargain bin oblivion. [Feb 2014, p.94]

Fleeting moments of fun and an improved Escalation mode aren't enough to save Spark from becoming yet another bland tie-in destined for the bargain bin base. [Sept 2014, p.106]

Travis Strikes Again spends so much time calling back to other games, it forgets to be fun itself. [Issue#169, p.92]

Among the rubble there are elements of what could be a good game, but it's not worth your time to excavate them. Technically disastrous, it lets down its own story. [Sept 2014, p.111]

But MLB 09 instead. Now. [June 2009, p.96]

Trouble is, whichever character you pick, the game ends up largely the same. [Nov 2007, p.112]

It's ambitious, but everything in it suffers from some hideous defect, like a garden centre in the middle of Chernobyl. [Oct 2012, p.110]

A fairly significant disaster. [July 2009, p.92]

Everything's been needlessly fiddled with so that it no longer makes sense. [March 2007, p.120]

One of the worst open worlds Ubisoft has released. Even if its issues have been patched by the time you read this, this is one seriously uninspired sandbox. [Issue#168, p.88]

The quests are grinding, the dialogue linear, and the loot at lower levels decidedly 'meh.' [Oct 2012, p.117]

Buy this to guarantee a ruck...with your own sanity. [Nov 2012, p.97]

Not buying this would be the ultimate lucky escape. [May 2017, p.92]

Tells an entirely forgettable story. [Nov 2012, p.97]

Essentially an account simulator (woo!) punctuated by the odd cannon-on-cannon scuffle. [Nov 2012, p.105]

It's so ugly that your Vita will likely look embarrassed at having to play it. [Apr 2012, p.115]

The game constantly makes you look a titanic fool, but matching the rhythm of the Move's rumble to your gestures for extra speed is oddly satisfying. [Nov 2011, p.109]

Rather than doing anything very clever, it just nicks some of the best lines from the films, reminds you of the bits you liked, and carries on quietly being an incredibly average platform scrapper. [Sept 2007, p.117]

Feel dirty. [Apr 2012, p.118]

As sure as I am that Infinity Runner is a bad game, it's certainly not a game I dislike. [June 2015, p.88]

A cynical grab for gullible gamer Christmas cash made to coincide with Vita's first festive period, this COD shouldn't just be declassified; it should be erased from existence.

This is visually bare-bones and an incredibly sloppy port of the PC original. The menus have an eye-jittering delay that makes navigating a chore. Worse still, hard crashes occur every 20 minutes in the final third of the story, forcing you to replay tombs already conquered. It’s hard to recommend a game that punishes you with its bugs. Pray for this one. [Issue#178, p.82]

Creaky old level design, a loathsome entourage of heroes, and a lifeless open world. [Nov 2017, p.81]

Its worst sin? It's boring. [Christmas 2015, p.83]

A smart, tough base game completely obscured by janky execution. [Christmas 2015, p.83]

Lacking the immediacy and fun of Killzone Liberation, this feels criminally outdated. [Christmas 2007, p.109]

Yawn. [Nov 2011, p.115]

A one-note, ugly button masher. [Apr 2009, p.102]

The formula needs an update. [Nov 2014, p.94]

Everything works and it will kill a few hours, but only in a rubber-necking, see-where-it-goes kind of way. [July 2011, p.103]

This revolution deserves to be mercilessly crushed. [Sept 2017, p.82]

Relegation fodder. [Aug 2010, p.117]

No innovation, no fun, no thanks. [May 2010, p.113]

It's a below-average platformer in a Bugs Bunny outfit, and that's all folks. [Christmas 2007, p.112]

RICO fancies itself as the sterotypical hard-bitten police officer who gets results but refuses to play by the rules. In reality, it’s more like Paul Blart: Mall Cop. [Issue#161, p.96]

The complexity ramps up as you're given more tools to use in your liquid logic tests, but sadly the excitement never does. [June 2011, p.111]

Even daring manoeuvres feel somewhat unsatisfying when the only result is a nice detached four bed house popping up as a reward. [Jan 2011, p.115]

There aren't any highs as such, just moments of not sucking. [Aug 2011, p.108]

There are thousands of programs, YouTube tutorials and teachers that do a more effective job of teaching, and an army of clicky peripheral-based games that nail the fun element better.

This scrappy outing has little to offer apart from easy trophies. [Christmas 2015, p.94]

Stuttery. [March 2012, p.95]

Next-gen? It's barely present-gen. The Godfather has no business calling itself a PS3 game. [May 2007, p.108]

It’s not terrible, but it’s not the game we (or anybody else) wanted either. This game gets tired long before 90 minutes have passed. [Issue#180, p.80]

A couple hours in, and you're starting to feel pretty stupid yourself! [Jan 2011, p.118]

Was it necessary to also make it so ugly? [Aug 2011, p.110]

This kiddie platformer couldn't be more by-the-numbers if it was presented in binary. [March 2012, p.95]

Ugly and outdated. [Christmas 2010]

Frustrating. [Sept 2008, p.104]

The most muddled and irritating Sonic game yet. [May 2007, p.110]

Wading through all that offal to get to the mildly interesting stuff is hardly time well spent. [Jan 2015, p.86]

It's barely a game. [Nov 2009, p.130]

You're either on rails with almost no control, or doing random tricks that feel totally disconnected from the peripheral itself. [Jan 2011, p.121]

It's an awkward fudge, and compared to the full sex that is "Call of Duty", feels like five minutes of unsatisfying over the sweater action. [Feb 2009, p.99]

It's as exciting as waiting on people in real life; which is to say, not very. [May 2007, p.114]

Above all Rock Revolution just doesn't have the charm or depth of its rivals. [Christmas 2008, p.111]

The anti-Hawk. It lacks excitement, it's shy of thrills, and it really isn't worth bothering with at all. [Sept 2007, p.108]

Unless you've got masochistic urges to indulge, you'd be wise to steer clear. [Apr 2010, p.113]

20% of Sonic Unleashed is brilliant. [Jan 2009, p.92]

The Hulk is ugly, outdated, and from the look of some sections, maybe even unfinished. [Sept 2008, p.100]

It's not entirely awful. Scaling buildings with your previously mentioned rocket feet gives proceedings an enjoyable verticality. Smashing houses, tanks and 'copters is also empowering like breaking fine china with a giant smashy mallet. But with the most annoying AI this side of Johnny 5 and one-note combat, ACV is repetitive robot rubbish.

The visuals are lovely, so that'll stave off some tantrums. [Mar 2007, p.120]

Weirdly passionless, with rough edges at all corners that leave you wondering where all that money went. Current sequel talk is bonkers. [Aug 2016, p.90]

Only hardcore annelid lovers need apply. [May 2012, p.116]

A festering corpse given an unnecessary kiss of life. [Aug 2016, p.93]

Any environmental message (or fun) that might be hidden within is scorched by the fury of having to pay an astonishing 7.99 quid for the privilege. [Apr 2010, p.113]

A shallow package that you might buy as a PSN download: there's fun here, but only the sort of amount you'd pay two pints'-worth of money for. [Oct 2008, p.102]

Play time is kept to a minimum, with most of the development effort put into designing reams of menus for you to navigate...ensuring that you never start to have actual fun. [Issue#51, p.118]

One afterlife that's plain hard to enjoy. [Aug 2016, p.94]

The puzzles are simple but require the exact kind of precise control this doesn't provide. [June 2008, p.106]

This might have seemed enjoyable 14 years ago, but then again so did MC Hammer. [Feb 2008, p.91]