Unfortunately, there’s just no hope for this one. Sure, it looks like a game – and we all love games – but the rot has taken hold and it’s too late to save it. You should go on ahead and we’ll put this sorry thing out of its misery.

Ironically, this played better in 2003. [Issue#183, p.81]

Judge Dread would be more accurate. [Oct 2012, p.117]

Not just a missed opportunity, but an insulting and pitiful gamble on the Tony Hawk name that deserves little more than a collectible agreement to pretend it didn't happen. [Dec 2015, p.84]

A disappointing PS VR offering from a studio that should know better. It feels like an early tech demo that someone's attached a daft price to. Basketball? Nope, just balls. [Jan 2017, p.129]

Appalling textures, clunky systems and gameplay you have to shake yourself away from. [Dec 2013, p.95]

While the story at least tries to play on reality, the gameplay lurches back and forth between sim and arcade. [Feb 2012, p.107]

All nine stages are far too cramped and zoomed-in. [Nov 2015, p.107]

Point and click in the other direction. [Feb 2012, p.112]

The stylistic, themed pieces (aquatic, chaos, etc.) all look the same unless you squint, and the lacklustre animations have no purpose other than slowing down play. [Apr 2007, p.118]

This is barely a game. [July 2014, p.80]

If I'd bought this for the Atari ST in 1989, I'd want my money back. [Sept 2011, p.107]

Pretty amusing until you realise what a shameful rip-off it is. [Sept 2011, p.108]

Depressing fare. [May 2014, p.83]

This may not be the worst Kick Off game ever, but even blind nostalgia can't redeem its many faults. [Sept 2016, p.108]

Cheap and nasty. [Dec 2009, p.18]

Excruciatingly sterile turn-based combat. [Sept 2007, p.116]

If there were no other racers on PS3, or indeed on the planet, buying this would still be a mistake, but with the likes of Dirt already out there, and Motorstorm: Pacific Rift on the horizon, spending money on Baja would be nothing short of madness. [Dec 2008, p.113]

In a game that's only two hours long, being this gnawingly repetitive is actually quite an achievement. [May 2009, p.103]

Stale gameplay, unevocative level design and a control scheme that's about as responsive as a cave troll on Ketamine. [Oct 2015, p.89]

There's not enough room here to say how much I hate this game. I could write a novel about why Two Worlds II is the worst thing to happen to the fantasy RPG genre since encumbrance systems. [Apr 2011, p.114]

If, like the makers of this game, you think the world needs another bad Arkanoid clone, then you deserve a toe-punt in the spine. [Apr 2011, p.114]

You'd be better off being put to sleep for all eternity. [Apr 2011, p.118]

It seems kinder on everyone to stand there and let the bull impale you. [Aug 2015, p.94]

One of the most unfinished, least fun games of recent years, and almost unplayably jerky on a standard PS4. A total disaster of a game. [June 2018, p.97]

This is cynical profiteering of the most detestable order, and sullies the good name of one of 2014's best-liked films. [Sept 2014, p.107]

It's basic, ugly and lacks any sense of excitement. [Apr 2012, p.118]

God, it's so confusing. [Nov 2011, p.113]

This is a farce of a game and "Super Smash Bros" has already done the cartoon, co-op, beat-'em-up with infinitely more flair and class, nine long years ago. [Mar 2007, p.111]

Borked. [June 2015, p.94]

Deserves to be strangled with its own entrails. [Christmas 2010]

It's almost worth playing Chronicles just to appreciate how bad it is. Almost, but definitely not. [Apr 2010, p.112]

Weaponry is dull and so are the contests - a mix of base capturing and amassing kills. Avoid like a landmine. [May 2007, p.120]

Two hours of unmitigated boredom. [Christmas 2010]

A shattered kidney of a sports sim. [March 2015, p.94]

Utterly pointless. [Jan 2011, p.118]

It only avoids the worst score I can give by virtue of the fact that it (just about) functions. Rambo inspires more anger than biting your tongue just after you’ve stubbed your toe.

Avoid like you would a family holiday to Nudefest 2010. [Issue#51, p.110]

The AI appears to have all the intellect of an overcooked marrow, which might very well make a more appealing videogame. [May 2012, p.116]

Thanks for the memories, Mr. Wizard. Now toddle back to your castle and don't bother us again. [Oct 2007, p.113]

Horrible. [May 2007, p.114]

From awful to appealing. [May 2012, p.116]

The whole thing is so soulless you'll be praying to get hit by a meteor. [Issue#51, p.103]

Should you even think about renting it for a laugh? To quote Dick Marcinko: "F*ck no." [Feb 2010, p.107]

Almost everything about Weeping Doll underwhelms. [Jan 2016, p.115]

The graphics are an indistinguishable explosion of vomit. [July 2012, p.109]

This is simply a hilarious misunderstanding of what a game should be. [Sept 2012, p.104]

To facilitate the stalking, there's a present-giving mechanic. [June 2010, p.119]

The only fight this game is winning is the one for worst beat-em-up on PSP. [Aug 2007, p.114]

Fish are boring. Not sharks, obviously - they're great. [June 2012, p.107]

Riding to actual Hell over 1000 miles of broken glass using your own scrotum as a toboggan would be more enjoyable.

The Quiet Man is a once-in-a-generation terrible game mired by technical and racial issues, pretentious ideas, and poor execution. It’s an ineffable game that fails to land any of its posy punches. That it merely exists… now that is something to cry over. [Issue#157, p.97]

Burn this. It's the only way to be sure. [July 2009, p.93]

Can it balls. [June 2011, p.112]

I'd say that you should try playing this only to laugh at its total, across-the-board incompetence, but it'd be like recommending you throw eight quid into the bin and then roll around naked and giggling in a pile of your own faeces. Unrivaled indeed. [Sept 2010, p.115]

If I stopped to process the notion that I'll never get the time back I spent wrestling with A-Men 2's spongy, imprecise jumping and clunky puzzles, I might never stop trembling with impotent rage. [Jan 2014, p.95]

A dire, one-dimensional bum-biscuit of a game. [Feb 2012, p.107]