Even worse, it doesn't do the stuff you've seen before with much panache. It's not comic - it's tragic. [Nov 2005, p.90]

If there's one thing I've learned from Blade II, it's this: Vampires love monotony. [Nov 2002, p.183]

It also suffers some stultifying strikes: excruciating difficulty, obtuse mechanics, a stifling lack of freedom, and a brutal mission structure that punishes you as often as it rewards you. [July 2003, p.94]

Poor collision detection ensures you'll scratch your head, wondering how a particular punch or kick landed when the enemy who threw it is only vaguely in the area of your character. [Nov 2003, p.132]

The absurd amount of effort you'll have to spend to get any substantial results in Fighter Maker 2's Edit mode won't be worth it for 95 percent of you. [Jan 2003, p.124]

Devil Kings' mailed-in gameplay is a classic example of what developers should avoid at all costs in the future. [Nov 2005, p.117]

A terrible game. [Jan 2002, p.130]

I can't help but grimace every time I think about someone dropping 40 bucks on this thing. [Jan 2005, p.118]

A couple of good ideas, a couple of bad ideas, but all executed so poorly that the game almost feels unfinished. Combine that with a control and camera system that's been getting progressively worse for the past six years or so, and it's official: The hedgehog has jumped the shark.

I can't remember the last time I experienced this LITTLE fun playing a videogame. Bad pacing and poor level design have a lot to do with this. [Mar 2003, p.103]

This barely qualifies as a game. [Jan 2006, p.100]

It's like trying to fly an airplane with no wings, and you can't even tell the passengers to kiss their asses good-bye. [May 2005, p.92]

The absence of Ed Norton's and Brad Pitt's likenesses makes the generic characters look like a pack of half-naked Ken dolls, excepting the one with man boobs. [Dec 2004, p.108]

The game thus degenerates into pick up object, throw, repeat. [Dec 2001, p.174]

Even if you have a Multitap and can thus play this with four real human beings, it's a poor party game. [Oct. 2006, p.88]

Your magnetic skis do more than just hug the rails when you’re grinding along – they magically suck you toward rails if you’re in the vicinity. It’s ridiculous. [Mar 2002, p.108]

I know this all sounds ridiculous, and it is. And yet, there's a certain goofy, tacky charm to the game that's oddly appealing. [Feb 2004, p.103]

Oh, GameDay, you’re the worst game the PS2 has to offer. [Feb 2002, p.112]

It has the most idiotic aiming scheme in any WWII game.

This game looks so great, but the controls may very well be the worst I have ever seen in a racing game. [Feb 2002, p.114]

I still think a music-customizable rhythm game could be amazing, but Dance Factory falls short of the ideal. [Jun 2006, p.94]

Welcome to Sonic Hell, where it feels like you're stuck in Rome and some gladiator prisoner that is being forced to compete mercilessly non-stop with other combatants. [Jan. 2007, p.91]

Let's hope that Namco Bandai issues an "oops" and ships the real game soon. [Jan. 2007, p.72]

Too simple for strategy fans and too complex for fighting fans. The occasionally interesting creature design and accompanying animation can't save this one from its cliched premise, uninteresting gameplay, and interminable load times. [Mar 2004, p.103]

Utterly unremarkable in every way possible. [Mar 2002, p.105]

It's neither run nor funny - you're better off spending $20 on something else. [Jan 2004, p.125]

Why can't you have more than six players at a table? [March 2005, p.95]

There's no feeling of the weight or power of the real thing, and precious little sense of speed. [Jan 2004, p.130]

After that brief spasm of historical insight, the charm rapidly wears off, mostly due to clumsy programming. [March 2005, p.95]

This was a great game...15 years ago. The new Micro Machines fails to offer anything new or exciting to an already stale series. [Sept 2006, p.79]

Getting 29 games for $20 shouldn't be a terrible deal, but aside from two or three gems, the selection totally blows - especially when compared to the Japanese releases. [Jan 2006, p.91]

This game stinks. [Jan 2002, p.132]

It's time for Mortal Kombat to go. [Dec. 2006, p.126]

The graphics certainly don't help any. Really, for a PS2 game, they're an embarrassment. [Dec 2001, p.161]

It is, thankfully, a roughly four-hour affair, but that time is probably better spent actually watching the two excellent (and one decent) Terminator movies. [Feb 2004, p.104]

Easily the worst modern game of its genre. [Oct 2001, p.134]

Having long since outlived its usefulness, the Wild Arms series has gone, with this entry, from merely banal to actively irritating. With such a wealth of RPGs getting translated nowadays and more companies than ever eager to get into the act, it's about time this appendix was removed.

Defending myself from a shark attack would be more entertaining. [Aug 2006, p.77]

The real-time battle system is such a mess that you’ll get either incredibly bored or overwhelmed in no time. [Mar 2002, p.108]

Other than that, Miami Vice is the most unremarkable eight hours you'll sppend en route to a lousy concclusion this year! [Oct. 2006, p.91]

Did I mention the shooting interface itself? Picture the annoying timing of the triple-tap Hot Shots model combined with the occasional imprecision of the analog Tiger model, and you'll have some idea of what we're talking about here: It's the worst of all possible worlds!

My advice to the developers is next time, skip the shaking, the timers, and the laughable cinemas and spend more time polishing and testing. [June 2005, p.101]

A sad, painfully executed experience that can't hold a candle to the former glory. [Nov 2002, p.192]

But most unbelievable is the fact that there's almost nothing here I would classify as fun. [Jan 2004, p.118]

The Micro Machines games have stayed the same over the last decade for the most part, so fans of the series will have a general idea of what they're getting into here. Newcomers can consider themselves warned. [Oct. 2006, p.92]

The gameplay is just short of completely unredeemable. [Jan 2003, p.132]

The gun battles that account for 99 percent of the game are extremely flawed. Bulletproof's aiming controls--no matter which configuration or sensitivity settings you choose--are as sloppy as they come.

It's a sloppy, rushed port of a game that deserved better. [July 2006, p.77]

It's not worth a second look by any but the most battle-hungry war fan. [Dec 2002, p.158]

Showdown is just as bad as its two predecessors in almost every way. [Aug 2004, p.93]

As bad as the roster is, the game itself is fine, and by fine I mean you couldn't have possibly made it more boring. [Jan 2005, p.109]

What really makes this game a disaster is the presentation. The character models and environments look like they were made using "Fighter Maker," which is to say that one one with a fundamental familiarity with 3D modeling was hired to make this game. [Feb 2005, p.91]

Yu-Gi-Oh completely blows. [June 2002, p.103]

Another cynical exploitation of a fad, but hey, at least it's portable. [Dec 2005, p.139]

Not nearly the sum of the parts it mimics, Reservoir Dogs answers some questions for fans of the film, but it just isn't worth the time. [Jan. 2007, p.86]

Bad control, bad gameplay, bad rosters. [June 2001, p.97]

It's f'ing hard! Really hard!... No one who's new to BMX games is going to be able to stomach the camera, the difficulty, and the level design for more than 25 minutes before realizing that surfing the Net for strippers is going to be a lot easier. [Feb 2003, p.101]

Contrary to the rules of classic puzzle games, it takes a long time to ick up, but a short time to master. I'll pass, thanks. [Nov 2001, p.167]

Note to the videogame industry: Mapping attacks to the right analog stick isn't a good idea. Put all the crossover dribbles and jukes you want on the analog stick, but for brawling games like Death by Degrees, this method of control simply doesn't work.

The Armored Core developers are celebrating the series' 10th birthday by giving you the same mech game they've pumped out since the beginning. [Jun 2006, p.92]

There are no surprise plot twists, no mysteries to unravel - nothing to keep you hooked at all. [Oct 2001, p.134]

Why does the game look like crap? [Jan 2002, p.141]

I can’t remember a more boring example of the game’s genre in years. [Feb 2002, p.107]

Goes from merely mediocre to appallingly bad.

A sloppy, wince-inducing piece. [Aug 2006, p.81]

No, it’s not good at all. And it sure as heck ain’t gonna win any awards. But it does serve well enough as a mild brainless diversion. [Mar 2002, p.106]

Yes, you've seen it all before. [Oct 2002, p.142]

The multiple-character combos are a nice touch, but the execution is so poor as to make it a moot point. [Feb 2002, p.106]

The game isn't fun...You'll have a lot more funjust going to the bowling alley. [July 2004, p.97]

Definitely a good time for the elementary-school set. [Jan. 2007, p.89]

Outside studio Idea Factory developed Spectral Souls and it shows; NIS would be much better off sticking with its internal developers next time. [Nov. 2006, p.120]

It still appears that no one actually plays these games before they're released. [June 2001, p.100]

Realistic drift physics apparently don't equal a good time, especially when added to a frustrating - and mandatory - tutorial mode. [Sept 2006, p.76]

There are many flaws. The fighters move as if wearing cinder-block shoes. [July 2002, p.101]

So this makes it officcial: The Rengoku series is stillborn. [Oct. 2006, p.92]

If only Fugitive Hunter, the game, wasn't saddled with broken missions, pathetic animations, a sorry fighting system and a sorrier button-mashing mode. [Jan 2004, p.118]

A buggy mess that should be avoided in favor of "NHL 2K6" or "NHL 06." [Dec 2005, p.115]

The original arcade TMNT may reward your perseverance - but it's not worth the pain. And that says a lot. [Nov 2004, p.132]

It's just a veil of mediocrity used to cover what amounts to a crazed-crowd simulator. No, wait, that actually sounds too fun for a game like this. [Jun 2006, p.92]

The whole thing just feels like one big accident. [July 2002, p.101]

If you like Whiteout... try Liquid Paper... perhaps on your eyeballs, to block out this eyesore of a game. [Feb 2003, p.109]

It's one of the worst-looking titles ever released on the PS1. [June 2003, p.107]

There's something fundamentally wrong about the fact that you can beat American Idol - and not miss a single note - with the sound off. [Feb 2004, p.101]

The "budget" price of $20 is about $15 too much. [Aug 2006, p.75]

Almost nothing about this game has any redeeming value. The levels are dull and repetitive. The control is whack. The gameplay is busted. It's boring. It's dopey. [Jan 2004, p.123]

The game is one long wave of monotonous, sloppy combat. [Jan 2005, p.102]

No other game in the PSP launch window is so miserably underachieving. [June 2005, p.101]

All the cars suffer from terrible handling physics, which are only made worse by the appallingly sensitive setup on the analog controls. [Mar 2003, p.114]

One big piece of crap...The pacing is slow and boring, the chicks aren't attractive, and the gameplay is poorly constructed. [Oct 2004, p.98]

Its arenas are cramped, flat, and bland, and its gameplay structure is dated, boring, and laughable. [Dec 2003, p.152]

Surely, I thought, the challenge level has a setting other than "stupid easy" or "mind-bogglingly confusing because the mutant aiming system bites." I thought wrong. Encounters in Space is just that bad. [Dec 2003, p.164]

Sadists can now add a new option to their perverse torture list: Play Evolution Snowboarding. [Feb 2003, p.101]

Insert "cruel and unusual punishment" or similar prison-term jokesterism here. Bonus points for working in the words "salad" and "toss." [Apr 2006, p.82]

It's as if someone took the "Prince of Persia" formula, added a dash of digital Halle Berry, and then gave this recipe to an imbecile for actual execution. Everything that "Prince" did oh so right has been oh so bungled here. [Sept 2004, p.89]

Perhaps the biggest problem with Ape Escape Academy is the fact that you literally spend more time waiting than you do playing.

Great for players who have absolutely no desire to experience what real poker is like. [Dec 2005, p.132]

That's the worst kind of game design--the kind that only the people who made it can understand. [Oct. 2006, p.83]

Don’t expect an accurate depiction of movement, however, as poor physics dominate a lousy game. [Feb 2002, p.108]