N-Space's reach exceeds DS's grasp. Give this nonsense a miss and wait for their excellent Heroes of Ruin on 3DS instead. [Christmas 2011, p.68]

Awful game. [May 2008, p.75]

Exactly what you were expecting from a pinball title. That's either a good or bad thing, depending on your level of Tommy-esque wizardry. [Feb 2008, p.74]

It's boring. [Aug 2010, p.76]

An imaginative game spoiled by rubbish controls. [Aug 2010, p.76]

A sedate management game that's a little lacking when it comes to variety or excitement. [Aug 2010, p.77]

It's fast and competent, but rounds last too long, descending into tedium. [Christmas 2011, p.79]

Another joyless lump of registered trademarks designed with vulnerable kiddies in mind. [Winter 2009, p.63]

Visually it's 15 years old. No thanks. [July 2009, p.77]

A bit disappointing. [Dec 2008, p.79]

If you're not allowed a real fish tank this is a reasonable compromise, but it's really no substitute from the real thing, or for an actual game. [Oct 2008, p.74]

Amounts to nothing more than walking along a featureless corridor while somebody tells you an abridged version of the GoldeneEye plot. [Christmas 2010, p.72]

A big disappointment from a one-time great. [Christmas 2010, p.73]

Unremarkable. [Sept 2009, p.72]

Dull, repetitive and almost embarrassing in the way it fails to entertain, despite the basics of an enjoyable game being in place here somewhere. [May 2010, p.65]

Instantly forgettable. [Sept 2007, p.66]

"Quotation Forthcoming"

An oldie but a goodie. Alas, also a shortie. [May 2011, p.50]

It's another MISS - and this time with creakier graphics. [July 2012, p.98]

One for the sin bin. [Dec 2009, p.71]

A cheap and cheerful extended minigame. [Feb 2010, p.74]

Cocoto can bore you into thinking you're having a good time, but it's a poorly executed game that's been done much better before elsewhere. [Sept 2008, p.68]

One of the weaker GO games, Captain Sub lacks the smarts we've come to expect. [May 2011, p.75]

Tentacles should stay where they belong: bothering anime schoolgirls. [July 2010, p.70]

The game becomes the chore it aims to send up. [Nov 2011, p.75]

Don't be fooled by the pointer controls or other fripperies. [Aug 2008, p.75]

A contradiction on wheels. [Nov 2011, p.75]

Dull, dull, dull. [Jan 2008, p.64]

Cribs some good ideas from the Wii title but implements them badly - much like every other element of the game. [Mar 2009, p.69]

Taking a simple formula and injecting it with cruelty is rarely a good way to win new fans. Frustration, thy spirit animal is a digital frog.

Underwhelming in every single way. It's a weak fighter, made annoying by silly minigames and a story so messy it made our poor heads fall off. [Mar 2007, p.71]

The evidence trails are so insultingly simple to follow that even the Italian police couldn't bodge them. [Dec 2011, p.75]

Limited appeal and completely lacking in decent variations. [Apr 2009, p.40]

Like the stick men themselves, Defend Your Castle is a little skinny but not unable to break through your defences. [Aug 2008, p.75]

As a throwaway arcade game this is mildly entertaining, and nicely priced. [Apr 2011, p.78]

It looks and sounds good, but it's as shallow and frustrating as a conversation with Louie Spence. [Apr 2011, p.79]

A disappointingly bland brain-teasing stew.[Feb 2011, p.74]

Frustrating and painful. [Apr 2008, p.66]

As far as gameplay goes, it's in the same vein as Singstar and co, with the significant difference being that it doesn't really work very well. [Issue#56, p.68]

Stupidly expensive. [June 2010, p.76]

Not as good as it used to be. [Apr 2010, p.76]

Flip-book frame rate, terrible visuals. [Apr 2012, p.101]

Bone idle. Soulless. Death warmed up. Putting the grim in Grim Reaper. Afterlife? No life. We could go on, but we can't will ourselves to. Avoid.

This is more obscure torture device than game. [Oct 2010, p.60]

This feels more like a WiiWare release. [Jan 2010, p.72]

So yawningly uneventful we were able to play it with one eye, while watching Flight of the Conchords with the other. A waste of disc. [Christmas 2007, p.67]

A five-year-old PS2 game, eh? Terrific. [Aug 2010, p.73]

Poor AI, limps physics, forgettable track layouts and a general absence of excitement. [Christmas 2010, p.59]

A lazy addition to a series that belongs on DS anyway. [Apr 2009, p.70]

Runs so sluggishly. [May 2011, p.70]

Compared to this month's "Thrillville," EA Playground is severely lacking. Don't let the EA brand influence you - the kid in you will much prefer the theme park over the playground. [Christmas 2007, p.53]

The bulk of the beast is a poorly programmed platform game, with a useless jump, lamely linking itself to the book/film's story with unlocked Story Pages. [Feb 2007, p.82]

The bulk of the beast is a poorly programmed platform game, with a useless jump, lamely linking itself to the book/film's story with unlocked Story Pages. [Feb 2007, p.82]

Heavy on the boyband adoration, light on the gameplay. [Apr 2010, p.70]

Curse you, feeble minigame collection. [Oct 2010, p.60]

Captivating adventure gaming, sadly ruined by a horrible port. [May 2010, p.52]

This is substandard licensed tosh. [Aug 2006, p.67]

It's too mired in tedium. [Aug 2010, p.72]

It's too mired in tedium. [Aug 2010, p.72]

A massively disappointing puzzler. [Mar 2010, p.65]

Thunderously dumb combat in an endless succession of technically borked corridors. [Nov 2011, p.65]

It's well intentioned but underfunded. [Christmas 2009, p.64]

In short, you should avoid this like a bear hug from Doc Octopus. [Dec 2011, p.74]

Too hard for kids and too dull for adults. [Apr 2011, p.75]

The Manual Mode is so madly uncontrollable that it isn't an option, making the only real option clicking on Auto and going off to make a cup of tea. [Nov 2006, p.77]

Survive the frustration and it'll soon be replaced by boredom, leaving you feeling like you really have just had your time stolen. [Oct 2011, p.70]

An interesting attempt to recreate a dance game on a touch screen, but far too fiddly to be fun. [Feb 2012, p.100]

Laziness and ineptitude. Show's over, people. [Aug 2010, p.67]

These 'innovations' result in a game that's staggeringly boring. [Christmas 2011, p.77]

This repetitive title somehow manages to make dinos seem dull. [May 2011, p.56]

The presentation's pretty ropey too. [Dec 2008, p.76]

Unoriginal get competent platforming, dismal vehicle interludes. Devoid of fresh ideas. [Dec 2011, p.68]

The game chugs harder than Captain Haddock at a distillery. [Dec 2011, p.75]

We suspect even very young gamers would rather have the Jaffa Cakes for their birthday as well. [Oct 2010, p.65]

Instead of giving you the game disc, the sales assistant could open the box and curl out a steaming log in there, and you'd have almost as much fun playing with it. [Dec 2008, p.56]

Buy a comic instead. [Christmas 2010, p.60]

Worse than Pele's impotence advert. [Dec 2009, p.67]

We reckon most kids won't be scared stiff by the monsters here - they'll be bored rigid. [Feb 2009, p.77]

Imagine "Ninjabread Man" with all the cakes taken out and replaced by musical stuff. Congratulations - you've just invented Rock 'N Roll Adventures! [Christmas 2007, p.65]

There's very little incentive to keep going. So, er, we didn't. [Dec 2009, p.71]

There's less meat on this than a turkey carcass after Boxing Day. [Feb 2009, p.68]

Very basic platform game with a promising lead character. Not actually awful but it's overpriced at 20 pounds and a little frustrating for younger players. [Christmas 2007, p.65]

A flimsy mess. [Christmas 2009, p.70]

"Quotation Forthcoming"

They didn't get their heads around the stylus. [Winter 2009, p.70]

Without online play, this falls way behind other poker games. Thrill-seekers will be gravely disappointed. [Apr 2007, p.50]

Target audience includes sniggering schoolboys, students and journalists. [May 2012, p.99]

Painful to play alone, this is best endured with friends or lots of beer. [May 2012, p.99]

Absolute minger of a game. [Christmas 2009, p.66]

Considering how slick and glossy the presentation is, there's very little spark to the actual gameplay itself. [Sept 2012, p.109]

Even their signature vehicle forms are samey. [Aug 2011, p.74]

Even their signature vehicle forms are samey. [Aug 2011, p.74]

The content-to-price ratio is horribly skewed. [Mar 2010, p.67]

Ancient Egypt in glorious clunk-o-vision. If you like "Ninjabread Man" and "Rock'N Roll Adventures," you'll love this, but seriously, what are the chances? [Christmas 2007, p.65]

A poorly conceived, confusing rhythm game. [Christmas 2011, p.76]

Experimental racing concepts should be tested in the developers' studios, not on shop shelves. [Sept 2008, p.54]

It's like someone reduced Super Mario Bros to its essence, then skimmed the fun off the top. [May 2011, p.51]

It looks like they've raided the N64 back catalogue for the lowest-res textures they could find and shoveled them into a Wii. [Christmas 2009, p.69]