Xevious on 3DS was inevitable. Shame they didn't do anything with it. [Sept 2011, p.77]

The whole concept of Helix is better encapsulated in one of "Rayman 3"'s minigames. Alas, Helix isn't even remote-ly fun or entertaining. [Dec 2008, p.74]

Playing this after "Mario Galaxy 2"? God has a got a sense of humour after all. [July 2010, p.77]

How about instead going into your back garden and flicking cheese footballs at a ladybird. Much more fun. [Christmas 2011, p.79]

It somehow turns a shallow activity into a game with all the depth of a puddle. [Apr 2009, p.72]

It beggars belief, then, that someone would consciously make a game that contained only the worst bits of an already atrocious game. [Mar 2010, p.75]

A Very Ignorant Purchase. [Aug 2008, p.75]

Inoffensively made, but the blood rage it invoked is unforgivable. Avoid it - you'll feel better. [July 2010, p.70]

Give this rubbish a miss. [Dec 2008, p.78]

Treacle-slow gameplay and, unless you love generic sci-fi future visions, very little incentive to soldier on. [Sept 2008, p.67]

Ugly sprite work. [Nov 2011, p.75]

A blatant rip-off that, if anything, isn't derivative enough, stealing only the surface ideas from LocoRoco, but ignoring the invention that lies underneath. [Mar 2009, p.73]

A staggering work of technical ineptitude. [Dec 2009, p.71]

Why stick just one rubbish, bad-looking board game adaptation onto a DS cart when you can do four? [Mar 2008, p.70]

A lazy, ugly, soulless, cheeky and cheap rip-off. But just about competent with it. [Nov 2011, p.77]

It's a hairy wart on WiiWare's beautiful face. [Jan 2009, p.75]

We don't like it, but can't be bothered to hate it. [Feb 2010, p.66]

Certainly feels like a chore. [Dec 2011, p.77]

Lame object hunt. [Dec 2011, p.77]

A C64 platform game in 3DS clothes, and not very convincing ones at that. [Dec 2011, p.79]

The awful FlatOut made us pine for ZX Spectrum paddles - its controls are that painfully imprecise. [Feb 2011, p.69]

Just pick up a 99p quiz book instead. [Mar 2009, p.72]

It's bewildering as to why this is even a launch game, let alone how anyone thought it would be fun to <I>not</I> drive a car round a crappy looking track with a broken plastic steering wheel. [January 2007, p.54]

A most cynical and worthless package. [Apr 2011, p.78]

Just horrible. [Nov 2008, p.73]

What a sorry affair. [June 2010, p.77]

Ugly, repetitive and a waste of the license. It's not quite "Balls of Fury" bad, but getting there. Punch-drunk and pointless. [Feb 2008, p.64]

Even if you're a huge fan of zombie games, play something else. Anything else. [June 2012, p.101]

There's a special place in percussion hell for crap like this. [July 2009, p.73]

A crap DS game. [July 2011, p.71]

We HATE this game. [Aug 2011, p.67]

It screams half-arsed puzzler - ticking the simplicity box required by the genre but failing miserably to offer any addictive depth. [Mar 2007, p.64]

Simply a dreadful game. [May 2012, p.97]

Avoid. [Aug 2011, p.75]

Charmless, unfunny and barely playable. [Mar 2008, p.52]

Avoid this game like you would one of the films. [Sept 2011, p.72]

You'd have more fun if you asked a professional wrestler to try to transform your skeleton into the shape of a moped. [Aug 2010, p.68]

Great games (well, some), cynically recycled. Unless you can find 50th Anniversary for a couple of quid or less, this is the worst value on GameCube. [Aug 2006, p.63]

Not big, not clever, not even funny. [May 2008, p.63]

At 20 quid for five distractions that might keep you busy for 30 seconds, it's overpriced.[Apr 2007, p.60]

At 20 quid for five distractions that might keep you busy for 30 seconds, it's overpriced. [Apr 2007, p.60]

Bad frame rate, horrid voice acting, stupid story, crap weapons, confusing, overpriced. [July 2012, p.93]

This is the kind of game that makes us invent words like stinktacular and dumpulescent. [June 2010, p.71]

This miserably commercial effort - well, it's just depressing, and the only positive thing we've got to say about it is thank god it's unlikely ever to be released in this country. [July 2010, p.60]

You just mash buttons and move on. Dire. [Jan 2010, p.74]

An utterly terrible shooter which will, if nothing else, satisfy your recommended daily allowance of mirth...and pvc hotpants. [July 2008, p.68]

There's only one word for this experience: wooden. [Feb 2008, p.51]

Random and mindless, you'd be much better off diving head first onto a rusty nail bed than enduring five minutes of this tedium. [Mar 2007, p.81]

It's astonishing that anyone would try and sell this as a complete game. Piffle ball more like. [Apr 2007, p.71]

It's totally broken. [Jan 2010, p.74]

The Wii does shovelware better than anyone, but it's really hit a new low with 101-in-1 Sports. [Jan 2011, p.69]

A horrendous mess of a game, horrible to play in every way, short of severing your hands at the wrists and squirting lemon on the stumps. [Mar 2007, p.70]

As shocking as dunking your Wii into the bathtub... Let this one sink without a trace. [Jan 2012, p.106]

An utterly soulless collection of impossibly difficult sports games that will make everyone hate everything. [Apr 2012, p.100]

The steaming cherry on an already stinking bum-cake, Billy the Wizard is one of the most horrible things to have happened to us in a long while. [Christmas 2007, p.65]

A collection of rubbish puzzles that will surely train your brain not to let your wallet waste 20 pounds on this sort of crap in the future. You have been warned. [Aug 2007, p.67]

We'd rather undergo a CIA interrogation than play this again. [Jan 2011, p.68]

A shrine to gaming incompetence. Arriving in the same month as "Galaxy" it's gotta take some balls to release something as totally inept as this and expect people to play it. [Christmas 2007, p.64]

So bad it's worth renting, just to see. [Christmas 2009, p.68]

I crushed the cart under the wheels of my office chair and chucked the pieces in the bin. [Jan 2009, p.77]

A big pot full of bum. [Dec 2009, p.64]

The ultimate exercise in futility. [Jan 2009, p.71]

Offensively lame. [May 2010, p.68]

The target game in Wii Play is miles better and more challenging. [Oct 2007, p.69]

This is quite possibly the ugliest game we've ever seen. [Aug 2010, p.73]

Shonky physics, bland tracks, hopelessly vague powerups - this one's got it all! [Jan 2012, p.116]

This is the kind of beast your mum wold describe to get you back in the house before curfew. [Oct 2007, p.77]

Congratulations, Nordcurrent, you've made the worst game of the year. [Oct 2011, p.75]

Explosive Megamix is about as welcome as explosive diarrhoea. [Nov 2011, p.75]

A monstrosity...Please don't indulge this. [Dec 2011, p.77]