So inaccessible, they might as well padlock the game box. [July 2008, p.72]

Glimmers of good ideas are squished under the boot of boring. [Aug 2007, p.66]

This shatters the glass ceiling for ludicrous minigame compilations. [Jan 2009, p.70]

Trade in your mum's copy of this as soon as she inevitably buys it. [Christmas 2011, p.77]

Snooze-a-rama. [Mar 2009, p.75]

Contains tiny needles of goodness, but they're buried in a giant haystack of vomit, poison and rabid dogs. Not fun. [July 2009, p.61]

For those with no taste in music whatsoever. [Feb 2008, p.68]

A poorly designed game that allows you to create more poorly designed games, then inflict them on other unfortunates. [June 2012, p.106]

Some environments are so indistinct it's easier to navigate solely with the top screen's map than by looking where you're going. [Issue#56, p.70]

About the only thing we like is the directness of the chap at the start of "Strider": "KILL HIM! THAT'S YOUR MISSION!" [Nov 2006, p.76]

Another lazy cash-in. [Sept 2011, p.64]

Terrible platforming and puzzling. [June 2008, p.58]

It's bad. Not in a '80s Michael Jackson album sense, either. Just the traditional 'the genocide in East Timor was bad' kind. [Christmas 2008, p.68]

This strives for nothing and doesn't even make it that far. A poor game for a poor franchise. [JPN Import; Aug 2007, p.54]

Do you pine for a game where it takes the best part of an afternoon to kill an enemy? Then this is the uninspired film tie-in for you! [July 2011, p.64]

Rubbish, stupid games in a cheap, tacky collection - who on earth keeps buying these games and egging them on? [June 2007, p.71]

The crushing problem here is that the bland, murky environments make navigation a chore. [Aug 2011, p.75]

A series of awful minigames that ask you to jump or tap at the screen while Jerry wildly steers himself around the poorly constructed courses. [Dec 2006, p.55]

Repetitive button mashing in a mechanical 20-year-old game that's completely lacking innovation. Will the army ever nail these outdated and dull monsters? [January 2007, p.44]

The graphics are awful, the hip soundtrack uninspiring and the pre-match taunting cringeworthy. [Nov 2008, p.75]

Cheapo presentation. [Christmas 2009, p.67]

Botched design, poor songs and bloody chipmunks. [Feb 2010, p.68]

It's not worth your time and money. [Nov 2009, p.72]

There's really no excuse to get this. [Sept 2011, p.72]

The whole thing just feels a bit cheap. [Oct 2009, p.69]

Aside from the atrocious controls, graphics and music, the striking thing about Megamix Sports is its desperation to find enough things for you to do. [Issue#56, p.71]

It's not enough. [May 2011, p.71]

Stick to the books instead. [July 2009, p.73]

An overpriced puzzler that presents you with the bare bones of a game. [June 2012, p.106]

Localisation stinginess has given us the worst possible version of a half-arsed port of a not-very-good Wii game. [March 2012, p.97]

Scratch your head in tragi-comic woe as you try to decipher the game's cryptic instructions! [Mar 2008, p.71]

The film was duff; the game's duff. [Aug 2009, p.77]

Bitten by a radioactive librarian, MSHS developed a superhuman ability to suck the life from the room. [Winter 2009, p.63]

Not just the giant cheapo pile of rubbish we expected - just a tiny, feeble, overpriced piece of crap. A genuinely awful addition to the 3DS library. [Oct 2011, p.58]

Unfortunately, it's rendered almost unplayable by the low-res DS screen. [June 2011, p.66]

Which dummy thought dumping you back to the main menu screen after each round was a good idea? [Sept 2011, p.73]

This is such a technical and conceptual mess that EA wouldn't send us a copy - we had to go out and buy it. [Christmas 2010, p.53]

A phenomenon like Moshi Monsters owes its trusting fanbase better. [Jan 2012, p.117]

This game is still proof of how inaccurate the touch screen is capable of being, although we must admit that it is kind of relaxing. [Apr 2008, p.77]

There's nothing broken here, but it's entirely worthless. [May 2011, p.71]

Dead on arrival. [June 2009, p.74]

If you like paintball, book a session of the real thing. [Christmas 2009, p.69]

This is the other one - the one that's quite crap. [Apr 2011, p.60]

This is awful. [July 2010, p.61]

Controls seem fluid once you get the hang of them, but the customisation/grooming is worse than some GBA animal games - and they don't have a ready-made stroking device in the form of the Wii remote. [Jan 2008, p.65]

Tiresome nonsense. [Sept 2007, p.40]

Serious sharpening required. [Christmas 2010, p.74]

Basic, crude, ugly. [May 2011, p.69]

It's devoid of charm or technical merit. [Feb 2010, p.69]

Horribly dated and lazy, this mind-numbing puzzler only exists on Wii because of motion controls. [Apr 2009, p.70]

We want the fancy controller. [Sept 2008, p.70]

Ideally suited for very young children with short attention spans, but woefully short. [Sept 2011, p.73]

The gameplay lands with a thud on the "it's just cheap" side of the fence. [Dec 2009, p.71]

Ultimately, there's no good reason whatsoever to play Castlevania: Judgment, save morbid curiosity. If you love terrible games as kitsch, it's worth a look. [Feb 2009, p.66]

You'd think that the Wii would be suited to a darts game. It may very well be, but this sure ain't it. [Apr 2008, p.67]

Even the most mild-mannered puzzle fan will fly into a Hyde-like rage if they realize they've wasted 25 quid on this. [Feb 2011, p.71]

Makes us wish it had never been invented. [Sept 2011, p.71]

The very worst kind of lice-infested parrot guano. [Issue#80, p.104]

A very dull, poorly designed 2D platformer that fails to thrill or challenge. [Jan 2009, p.77]

Three and a half hours of scrappy, ugly tower defence. And what's worst is that there's only one in-game music track. In a game about Heavy Metal? Rubbish. [Aug 2012, p.101]

We've never met Josh or Drake, or even seen their TV programme, but after enduring this awful mess of a game we wish we were still completely ignorant of them. [Nov 2007, p.72]

Surgically extracts everything that makes the anime fun, leaving a lumpen brown mess. [Jan 2011, p.66]

Basically, you're fighting suicidal ghosts in a well-lit house. Worst sales pitch ever. [Mar 2011, p.72]

It's false economy to even consider picking this up. [Sept 2011, p.73]

The by-the-numbers platforming is both predictably lazy and embarrassingly cheap. [Dec 2011, p.74]

Possibly the most cynical and tawdry ripoff of "Mario Kart" we've ever seen....A horrible kart game, with pathetic handling, idiotic AI, and no racing tension at all. [Feb 2007, p.83]

The stylus controls are unresponsive, the graphics are uninspiring, the story is inconsequential, the tasks are repetitive and the music's appalling. [Nov 2009, p.72]

Battles are a massive disappointment. [Jan 2009, p.77]

This is a dodgy game, even as fishing titles go, and really not worth the effort. [Dec 2007, p.70]

This fighter game gets a big fat F-.[May 2007, p.70]

A terminal case. [Sept 2009, p.73]

Abomination more like. [Sept 2008, p.70]

As a full-price game you've got to be joking. [June 2010, p.71]

And it doesn't help that it was clearly made on a budget of about 17 pence. [Aug 2010, p.73]

A massively disappointing wrestle-fest that will leave fans with the taste of stale canvas in their mouths. Not good, basically. [Feb 2008, p.71]

Turns your living room into some kind of talent vacuum. This waste of development time makes three strong brands - Wii, Far Cry, and Ubisoft - look woefully incompetent. [Mar 2007, p.54]

Shovelware has a new mascot, and it's the disturbingly semi-clothed Yogi Bear. [Feb 2011, p.68]

More disappointing than the first outing. [Mar 2009, p.74]

Essentially unplayable games. [Feb 2011, p.67]

The barrel puzzles are punishing for all the wrong reasons. [Feb 2011, p.71]

A misshapen, boring and stunted beast. [June 2010, p.57]

Ugly and stupid. [Mar 2007, p.80]

We wonder if we did something terrible in a past life which is coming back to haunt us as movie tie-in Monsters vs. Aliens. [June 2009, p.74]

A very poor effort that doesn't succeed on any level. [Feb 2008, p.54]

Achingly slow. [Winter 2009, p.70]

Avoid this bad medicine. [Feb 2008, p.75]

It's no substitute for the real thing. [Apr 2009, p.75]

The mini missions are klunky beyond belief with extremely shoddy animation, and they almost always have to be completed in a stupidly short length of time for enjoyment - and that's it. Ideal for morons with low expectations. [Feb 2007, p.82]

When it's dark - when the screen is gloomy, and only illuminated by the zoom function - it can be like looking for a needle in a rough school. [Feb 2010, p.75]

Shonky controls, confusing layout, boring grey graphics, rubbish animation. [Oct 2011, p.75]

Precisely zero hours of fun. [Christmas 2007, p.57]

A platforming throwback to the golden era of the Nokia N-Gage. [June 2011, p.71]

There's more fun to be had in reading instruction manuals for toasters. [Oct 2008, p.75]

Even for those lacking in critical faculties, there are are better dance games out there. [May 2012, p.98]

Visit your local arcade instead. [Apr 2009, p.72]

A flaccid gallery of joyless minigames. [Winter 2009, p.68]

The only people who'll be able to get through this game are those who already know how to tell the difference between C and F. [Jan 2008, p.65]

Unresponsive to the point of irresponsibility. [Aug 2011, p.79]