"Quotation Forthcoming"

In short, you should avoid this like a bear hug from Doc Octopus. [Dec 2011, p.74]

Hold out for the vastly superior Shinobi. [Aug 2011, p.72]

A game that somehow manages to be incredibly offensive by being so bland and inoffensive that you want to rip its beating heart right out. [Dec 2008, p.78]

Dogs and cats to play with plus a load of other animals and a small business and a house... Hours of fun for animal-kids. [Dec 2008, p.66]

Controls seem fluid once you get the hang of them, but the customisation/grooming is worse than some GBA animal games - and they don't have a ready-made stroking device in the form of the Wii remote. [Jan 2008, p.65]

Bitten by a radioactive librarian, MSHS developed a superhuman ability to suck the life from the room. [Winter 2009, p.63]

There's nothing hard about CSI's evidence. [Apr 2008, p.72]

A decent and briefly diverting 'boarder, but the full fat games are far superior, stuffed with content and hence better value for your money. [June 2009, p.72]

The main problem with Spore Hero Arena isn't that the detail of your creature is lost in a haze of pixels, but that the whole game is rather dull. [Winter 2009, p.70]

A Very Ignorant Purchase. [Aug 2008, p.75]

The very worst kind of lice-infested parrot guano. [Issue#80, p.104]

Although you can access extras and minigames, it's rather plain. [Aug 2006, p.66]

No longevity here, but it'll prove bewitching to anyone whose idea of fun is cooing over big-nosed dog photographs on a screen the size of a hamster. [Jan 2008, p.55]

Frustrating and painful. [Apr 2008, p.66]

Not big, not clever, not even funny. [May 2008, p.63]

Technically flawed but undeniably fun with the right company (and probably several crates of beer). [Mar 2010, p.66]

Namco have done much better retro remixes. [July 2008, p.64]

Buy a comic instead. [Christmas 2010, p.60]

It's a perfect game for young children learning how to use the Wii, but outside of that, even the most die-hard platformer enthusiast may have a hard time sticking with it till the end. [Feb 2007, p.69]

More tech demo than anything else. [May 2011, p.65]

Another brave effort at roping in friends and family for pretend sportery but it lacks polish. [July 2009, p.61]

Ultimately, there's no good reason whatsoever to play Castlevania: Judgment, save morbid curiosity. If you love terrible games as kitsch, it's worth a look. [Feb 2009, p.66]

With its modern setting and effective scares, Calling is not a boring way to whimper away a few evenings. Just a shame silly artistic choices severely dampen the effect. [Mar 2010, p.50]

A flaccid gallery of joyless minigames. [Winter 2009, p.68]

Quite tedious at times, although the occasional close battle helps jazz it up a bit. [Feb 2008, p.62]

And the environments! Catastrophically dull. [July 2008, p.72]

An oldie but a goodie. Alas, also a shortie. [May 2011, p.50]

Laziness and ineptitude. Show's over, people. [Aug 2010, p.67]

A narrative oddity that we couldn't put down. [May 2009, p.73]

It's no Layton, but puzzle-fiends might find it's worth a try of it's spotted cheap. [Aug 2010, p.72]

We don't like it, but can't be bothered to hate it. [Feb 2010, p.66]

A really bad showcase for MotionPlus, inexplicably packaged with a technology it doesn't understand. [Issue#56, p.48]

Like an awful movie shown in the graveyard shift during a sleepless night, you'll hve fun, but only because there's nothing else going on. [Oct 2007, p.56]

The graphics are awful, the hip soundtrack uninspiring and the pre-match taunting cringeworthy. [Nov 2008, p.75]

Progress is hampered by clunky controls that see Harry bumping around like a dog wearing one of those post-operation plastic collars. [Oct 2009, p.69]

Where's Wi-Fi? RPG mode? Not a total wash-out, but it is limited. SNK should have spent more time combing the rules and less combing Dante's hair. [JPN Import; Mar 2007, p.73]

Easy, boring and often massively annoying. Yet another entry on the ever-growing list of sub-par Star Wars games. [Winter 2009, p.56]

Not just the giant cheapo pile of rubbish we expected - just a tiny, feeble, overpriced piece of crap. A genuinely awful addition to the 3DS library. [Oct 2011, p.58]

It's not worth your time and money. [Nov 2009, p.72]

It makes a nice Wii Channel. Could have done with something more substantial. [June 2008, p.67]

Look beyond the shoddy exterior and there's a surprisingly rich and varied arcade flyer. [Christmas 2010, p.58]

It's bad. Not in a '80s Michael Jackson album sense, either. Just the traditional 'the genocide in East Timor was bad' kind. [Christmas 2008, p.68]

Stick to the books instead. [July 2009, p.73]

Jake Hunter should come with a health warning: may caus lung cancer. [Sept 2008, p.71]

Glitchy, hard to control, unimaginative, repetitive, frustrating, overpriced... Nobody except Tony Hawk himself seems to like it. [Jan 2010, p.73]

Another lazy cash-in. [Sept 2011, p.64]

Heralded by some as a potential "Pilotwings" replacement, this is in no way as deep, clever or fun. Naff missions tackled in a vehicle not even remotely handling like a plane. [JPN Import]

Glimmers of good ideas are squished under the boot of boring. [Aug 2007, p.66]

We wonder if we did something terrible in a past life which is coming back to haunt us as movie tie-in Monsters vs. Aliens. [June 2009, p.74]

Not awful, then, but crushingly generic. [Oct 2011, p.70]

Not what we were hoping for from such a great developer of music games. [July 2009, p.66]

Without online play, this falls way behind other poker games. Thrill-seekers will be gravely disappointed. [Apr 2007, p.50]

There are some okay ideas here, just not 101 of them. [Feb 2009, p.76]

It's hard not to be insulted and even harder to wring enjoyment from this. [Aug 2011, p.68]

If you're not allowed a real fish tank this is a reasonable compromise, but it's really no substitute from the real thing, or for an actual game. [Oct 2008, p.74]

Boring and confusing in single-player; briefly entertaining with a friend. That's not really worth 25 quid, is it? [Oct 2009, p.67]

Not enough depth to bother a PC strategy title, but the intended crowd (fans of manga girls) may find something new to do here. [Sept 2009, p.71]

An awkward and ugly collection of minigames. [Apr 2010, p.62]

The Manual Mode is so madly uncontrollable that it isn't an option, making the only real option clicking on Auto and going off to make a cup of tea. [Nov 2006, p.77]

There's a certain amount of fun to be had smashing everything to pieces, but no longevity. [Oct 2008, p.76]

Repetitive button mashing in a mechanical 20-year-old game that's completely lacking innovation. Will the army ever nail these outdated and dull monsters? [January 2007, p.44]

A misshapen, boring and stunted beast. [June 2010, p.57]

Fans of the movie might get suckered in but this is uninspired stuff. While the remote is great in most games, it's no dance-mat replacement. [January 2007, p.50]

Localisation stinginess has given us the worst possible version of a half-arsed port of a not-very-good Wii game. [March 2012, p.97]

Too easy. [Feb 2011, p.70]

A game so bad, it brings shame upon Donkey Kong and his entire family. [JPN Import; Oct 2007, p.60]

It drives you bonkers in the first half hour, each of the ten trillion fights dull and easy. [Apr 2007, p.70]

Mediocre in the grand scheme of things, but if you've already de-zombied your back catalogue you could do worse than enlist in Wii's other Ghost squad.

Ugly and uninspired, but with a cracking story. [Mar 2009, p.64]

Hardly an epic tournament, but if you've exhausted Smash Bros or Punch-Out!! you could do worse than try this. [Aug 2010, p.62]

Cribs some good ideas from the Wii title but implements them badly - much like every other element of the game. [Mar 2009, p.69]

A contradiction on wheels. [Nov 2011, p.75]

Heavy on the boyband adoration, light on the gameplay. [Apr 2010, p.70]

A terminal case. [Sept 2009, p.73]

Slightly better than the GC version, but that's not saying much. We'd much rather write about the genius of Bruce Campbell. [Mar 2007, p.63]

Too little, too late. A shameless, lazy cash-in on a venerable series, which ultimately feels totally pointless to play. [Feb 2009, p.70]

The online multiplayer adds some value, but the core gameplay is repetitive to the max. [Oct 2008, p.74]

It fails to hit the bull. [Aug 2009, p.76]

Memorable, though perhaps not essential, playing. [Mar 2010, p.75]

Dull. [Feb 2010, p.69]

Considering how slick and glossy the presentation is, there's very little spark to the actual gameplay itself. [Sept 2012, p.109]

A very dull, poorly designed 2D platformer that fails to thrill or challenge. [Jan 2009, p.77]

Quotation forthcoming. [Sept 2010]

A blatant rip-off that, if anything, isn't derivative enough, stealing only the surface ideas from LocoRoco, but ignoring the invention that lies underneath. [Mar 2009, p.73]

Don't expect anything taxing but there's just enough content to make this a worthwhile multiplayer title for the younger gamer. [Aug 2008, p.62]

The source material deserves far better than this. [Apr 2008, p.73]

This is every bit the under-developed movie tie-in. [Aug 2008, p.63]

A neat idea, completely upended by the punishing difficulty. [Apr 2009, p.71]

This game is still proof of how inaccurate the touch screen is capable of being, although we must admit that it is kind of relaxing. [Apr 2008, p.77]

Sorry to disappoint, but if Safecracker is the ultimate puzzle adventure then we're a small punnet of strawberries. [Mar 2010, p.68]

Just what the doctor ordered - if he ordered brainy but slightly disappointing puzzle action. [Feb 2011, p.75]

A massively disappointing wrestle-fest that will leave fans with the taste of stale canvas in their mouths. Not good, basically. [Feb 2008, p.71]

We've never met Josh or Drake, or even seen their TV programme, but after enduring this awful mess of a game we wish we were still completely ignorant of them. [Nov 2007, p.72]

The game becomes the chore it aims to send up. [Nov 2011, p.75]

Plays like a second-rate attempt to rip off a series that's not enjoyed a distinguished recent past itself. [March 2012, p.99]

Less Deep Blue Sea, and more In The Bin. [May 2008, p.74]

A good game spoiled quite badly by rough presentation and grainy graphics - not what you want when the whole thing is based on visual puzzles. [Feb 2008, p.63]