Playing this game is like someone shoving a wire brush down your esophagus then pulling it out your you-know-what. [Jan 2003, p.102]

Rarely do [fishing games] just stink like rotting fish guts after five days roasting in the sun. Which, coincidentally, is how bad this game stinks. [July 2003, p.107]

The nuts and bolts of gameplay are apocalyptic failures, but the awfulness doesn't stop there. Managing games is utterly pointless. [Feb 2009, p.85]

Please don't do any more games like this, The Rock. You deserve better. [Nov. 2006, p.130]

The nuts and bolts of gameplay are apocalyptic failures, but the awfulness doesn't stop there. Managing games is utterly pointless. [Feb 2009, p.85]

This game doesn't even live up to the first four PSX titles in the series. It's that bad. I just feel dirty playing it, and Sony should feel worse for publishing it. [Jan 2002, p.88]

If anything, the game did show me how much torment I can put up with before breaking down, sobbing, and pleading to make it stop. [Dec 2002, p.125]

The nuts and bolts of gameplay are apocalyptic failures, but the awfulness doesn't stop there. Managing games is utterly pointless. [Feb 2009, p.85]

If youre seriously interested in this "game," you're probably a loser who's embarrassed to buy porn, and way too chicken to actually talk to a real girl. [Oct 2004, p.129]

This isn’t a premier blend of pulp fiction. It’s just a pulpy mess.

This sucks rocks...Avoid this stinker at all costs. [Oct 2002, p.87]

Laughably bad dialogue combines with broken combat and tedious gameplay to create one of the worst games in years. Choose the Wii version, and you’re in for a special form of torture, as your camera wildly wheels about and an added layer of stupidity is included while aiming a weapon.

Thank God. Now I can stop pretending that I was having fun rocking out to Metallica and live my dream of playing backup cowbell in a cruise ship band version of “Yankee Doodle.”

If youre seriously interested in this "game," you're probably a loser who's embarrassed to buy porn, and way too chicken to actually talk to a real girl. [Oct 2004, p.129]

It looks like a freakin' "Doom II" mode, except the framerate isn't as good. [Jan 2004, p.157]

There's really only one way to sum it all up. This game just sucks. [Sept. 2006, p.97]

Please don't do any more games like this, The Rock. You deserve better. [Nov. 2006, p.130]

There are absolutely no redeeming qualities to Double Dragon II. The only people I can recommend this to are gamers that enjoy hate-playing the worst stuff just to make fun of it or Double Dragon fans who can't help but play every release no matter how terrible.

This isn’t a premier blend of pulp fiction. It’s just a pulpy mess.

If you play Fear Factor: Unleashed, you deserve to find forgiveness in the heart of no man. [Feb 2005, p.125]

The game, on the other hand, is just plain gruesome, and for all the wrong reasons. Avoid it like the plague. [Nov 2001, p.131]

Unlike "Gauntlet," Black Stone is so poorly executed, that it is absolutely no fun to play. [Feb 2003, p.104]

Dragon's Lair is a lot like the chicken pox. It's probable that you'll experience it once in your lifetime, and that's more than enough.

With the number of average-to-outstanding FPS titles available on next-gen consoles, there’s absolutely no reason to waste your time with this disaster.

These games might have been fun portables 20 years ago, but now they're too simple and boring. [Feb 2003, p.110]

As a comic book fan, games like this reduce me to a quivering, broken mess - laying in the fetal position under my desk with tears streaming down my face like a lost child. [Dec 2003, p.187]

I have to go to the courthouse and file a restraining order so this crappy game cannot get within 1,000 fee of me ever again. [August 2002, p.91]

I love the ideas at play here, but the horrific implementation adds complexity and obfuscation with little commensurate gain in strategic depth. I hope Kerberos' constant patching (the week-plus since launch has already seen several updates) will eventually turn this into the game it could be. Right now, it's a mess that everyone should avoid.