Those patient enough to suffer through the initial gameplay inadequacies are rewarded with horrible, low-quality cutscenes, a “special” Accelerator Suit ability that often drains during said cutscenes, unreachable power-ups that hover just out of grasp, the worst vehicle controls I’ve used in years, and voice overacting that makes the guy who says “killing spree” in Unreal Tournament sound understated.

Punishing players and withholding any reward adds replay, right? At first I thought this game was a joke, but I was wrong. It’s a joke and total garbage.

Everything in this title borders on barely functional, from the blurry graphics (no, that isn't Vaseline on your TV screen) to the imprecise targeting. [Aug 2004, p.96]

Everything in this title borders on barely functional, from the blurry graphics (no, that isn't Vaseline on your TV screen) to the imprecise targeting. [Aug 2004, p.96]

It pretty much fails on every conceivable front and can't hold a candle to 99 percent of the games currently in the Xbox library. To serve, protect, but more realistically, to suck. [May 2003, p.91]

I constantly struggled against the controls, camera, and objectives as they were presented. And nothing about the story or characters of The Lord of the Rings: Gollum offers reason to push past the frustration. As a longtime fan of Tolkien’s fiction, it’s possible that I liked the game even less for the way it seemed to misuse the source material. It’s hard to have a more damning indictment than to say that this Gollum game isn’t for fans of The Lord of the Rings, but here we are.

The environments are bland, the characters have no dialogue, and the puzzles are illogical. [Dec 2003, p.159]

How Sony thinks Kung Fu Rider justifies being a full retail release (even with the reduced $40 price tag) is beyond me.

This weird ass-end swing out makes circuit racing all but impossible until you re-learn the concepts of physics, weight distribution, and even gravity. [Feb 2005, p.125]

Agony lives up to its name in the most dreadful way possible. The gory shock tactics try too hard to impress, and are ultimately a moot point given just how effective the game’s brokenness is at dispelling any palpable fear or awe I might have had and replacing it with aggravation.

It's frustrating and repetitive to the extreme. You owe the fruit of your loins something better. [Dec 2004, p.190]

Those patient enough to suffer through the initial gameplay inadequacies are rewarded with horrible, low-quality cutscenes, a “special” Accelerator Suit ability that often drains during said cutscenes, unreachable power-ups that hover just out of grasp, the worst vehicle controls I’ve used in years, and voice overacting that makes the guy who says “killing spree” in Unreal Tournament sound understated.

Back on the N64, the world-twisting gimmick may have been enough to make Flip's Twisted World stand out. These days, though, it feels like a one-off idea that Super Mario Galaxy 2 might have used on a single level before abandoning for even wilder gameplay tricks. In fact, being in such incredible company on the Wii is possibly the game's biggest mistake; on a console flooded with platformers, Flip's Twisted World is among the worst.

Tears of joy rolled down my cheeks at the exact moment that I ejected this game from my Xbox. I then proceeded to toss it on the floor and violently smash it with a sledgehamer into a thousand little pieces. [Jan 2003, p.114]

Trite dialogue, mindless quests, bland gameplay, and boring textures. [Nov 2003, p.170]

It pains me to say this, but turn off your TV and just read the book or head to your local theater. This is a story everyone must experience, just don’t try interacting with it.

It pains me to say this, but turn off your TV and just read the book or head to your local theater. This is a story everyone must experience, just don’t try interacting with it.

It pains me to say this, but turn off your TV and just read the book or head to your local theater. This is a story everyone must experience, just don’t try interacting with it.

Given just how unresponsive and sticky the gameplay is, a strong case can be made that a turd in a toilet has far greater functionalty than the controls in this game. [Dec 2004, p.177]

Like those vacuum-powered hair trimmers, this one sucks while it cuts. [July 2004, p.116]

Like a waterlogged corpse afloat in a handheld sea, Jack Sparrow's PSP adventure stinks. [Sept. 2006, p.100]

Simply put, this game is bad and I hate it. [Nov. 2006, p.140]

About as soulless as the faceless Activision suit that signed off on its feast of mundane side-scrolling. [Oct 2002, p.94]

The story is delivered witih all the emotion of a grade school play. This woldn't be such a bad thing, if the gameplay weren't absolutely abysmal. [Dec 2002, p.122]

With the number of average-to-outstanding FPS titles available on next-gen consoles, there’s absolutely no reason to waste your time with this disaster. [Apr 2008, p.86]

The mech-combat genre isn't overflowing with alternatives, but they do exist. Save yourself the aggravation and pick any one of those. You won't do any worse.

As a downloadable title, I wasn't expecting Amy to measure up against the triple-A juggernauts of the survival horror genre. However, I was expecting a game that was at least playable and contained some kind of entertainment. Make no mistake: Whether Amy is delivered to you via download, retail SKU, direct brain wave, or retinal implant, it is terrible and should be avoided.

Crime Boss: Rockay City is proof that star power isn’t everything. In fact, it’s a reminder that a celebrity cast does nothing for a game when it’s void of anything interesting or fun to support it. When run-ending bugs appear, Crime Boss is miserable, but even when I’m running a mission bug-free, I lay witness to a painfully dull take on organized crime. At its best, Crime Boss functions – I can shoot weapons at enemies, empty bank vaults and warehouses for loot, watch cutscenes with recognizable faces and voices, and grow my empire – but it never captures my attention in a meaningful or memorable way. Instead, it pushes me further and further away, leaving me with no desire to ever return to Rockay City.