The cold, hard truth is that unless digi-fans…existed, most would not care two digi-bits about DDCB after playing two digi-seconds. [Oct 2001, p.156]

NFL Tour's last-team-with-the-ball-wins emphasis on offense deflates whatever air this pigskin had left in it. [Feb 2008, p.76]

Funny writing (courtesy of an ex-"Ren & Stimpy" scribe) can't save this uninspired rehash of antiquated Crash antics with lackluster visuals. [Dec 2004, p.170]

NFL Tour's last-team-with-the-ball-wins emphasis on offense deflates whatever air this pigskin had left in it. [Feb 2008, p.76]

A tamer, single-player "Time Crisis 2" with fewer unique enemies and lamer bosses. [August 2002, p.124]

A slapdash, sloppy and unimaginative retrofit. [Jan 2002, p.232]

The sad truth, however, is that the game pales in every conceivable way to its fellow pro brethren. [Oct 2002, p.184]

Funny writing (courtesy of an ex-"Ren & Stimpy" scribe) can't save this uninspired rehash of antiquated Crash antics with lackluster visuals. [Dec 2004, p.170]

Compared to smoother, more realistic titles such as "High Heat" (and to a lesser extent, "All-Star Baseball"), this is an embarrassment. [June 2002, p.114]

Please, someone invent a real time machine so I can zip back to early April and warn myself not to play this dog-tired-dogfighting-through-the-decades air-combat crapshoot. [June 2007, p.93]

Just another slow, plodding giant-robot game that doesn't add a speck of novelty to the genre. [March 2005, p.128]

It's not as mind-blowingly awful as the old N64 "Superman" stinker, but it is outclassed by nearly every other comic-book game out there. [Feb 2003, p.154]

I thought I’d sooner see Sasquatch ride a Chimera bareback through the streets than a bland series like Mega Man X last through six installments. [Feb 2002, p.172]

The scale of the town maps and the repetitive graphics make navigating around the map a laborious chore. [Oct 2001, p.148]

The dirty language and innuendo rules out kids. Grown-ups will despise its complete lack of gameplay (at least Japanese dating sims offer minigames). That just leaves inmates. But forcing them to play this crap would be cruel and inhuman punishment. [Jan 2005, p.140]

Too hard...too slow...too ugly. [May 2002, p.107]

The fact is, just about every task the game asks you to play is simply no fun. [Jan 2002, p.230]

As a game, Bulletproof is a disaster. Your G-Unit allies are so dumb they had to be made invincible to keep them alive.

The targeting system is useless, the levels are bland and filled with countless invisible barriers, and the camera is so hard to manipulate in tight spaces that you'll often end up staring right at 50's face as he gets ventilated by the dozen enemies he just can't see.

A game of chess could take forever, but when you pick up a piece, it doesn't take an hour to move it. But that's what Souls' slowdown-laden mess is like. Souls is one of the worst-optimized PS2-to-PSP ports I've played.

This game sucks. Unlimited Saga exemplfies everything that's wrong with RPGs today and throws it all together in one deluxe package for all to avoid like the plague. [July 2003, p.108]

Trying to master the game's unintuitive control system (with 12 different types of punches) was making my head spin, until I realized that mashing buttons and "circle strafing" my foe produced great results most of the time.

I smell what THQ is cookin', and it's damn foul... Wrestlers spouting generic one-liners while engaging in car wars is just plain dumb. [May 2003, p.130]

Nothing but a disappointing concoction of fighting-genre cliches... Unquestionably the worst fighting game I've played in years. [Feb 2003, p.154]

With its forgettable characters, interminable load times, and mind-numbingly dull battles, Blade Dancer assaults players with such profound mediocrity that only the most tenacious questers will make it beyond the first few hours. [Aug 2006, p.93]

The debilitating, clunky controls had me spewing so many expletives in the heat of combat that passersby probably thought I had Tourette's syndrome. [Sept 2003, p.132]

This is a weak port that doesn't do Myst justice; it's not worth a revisit even for nostalgia. [June 2008, p.87]

T3's first-person shooting stages are plagued by poor controls, terrible level designs, brain-dead enemies, and just plain ugly graphics. [Feb 2004, p.106]