Play either of the other PS2 NCAA games and look smarter for it. [Oct 2002, p.184]

Matches are slower than molasses on a flat surface and play out like blooper reels, with fighters facing the wrong way, refusing to pick up tables or pull off signature strikes. [Sept 2004, p.99]

It's the general gameplay that's busted. Picking up an object is needlessly complex, tricky jumps seem to require more luck than skill, the camera is craptacular, boss battles are tedious, the vehicle-based levels are a joke, and the actual fighting action is bland. [Dec 2004, p.150]

C'mon, we're talking about a hack-and-slasher with stationary pinatas for targets here! [August 2002, p.126]

Trust me, the controls are sheer, unadulterated nonsense. [Apr 2002, p.141]

The most frightening thing about this experience is how filled with hatred and rage I get when I find myself stuck in the environment or when the camera swings into "s*** view" for the billionth time. [Apr 2008, p.72]

T3's first-person shooting stages are plagued by poor controls, terrible level designs, brain-dead enemies, and just plain ugly graphics. [Feb 2004, p.106]

Difficult - even the homeliest guy on earth could get laid before he could complete the inane tasks required to unlock all the R-rated stripper videos (which aren't worth the effort, by the way). Only the most patient, hardcore, and masochistic will be able to play through XXX. [Feb 2003, p.152]

The in-game dialogue has all the creativity and wit of a Fred Basset cartoon. [Nov 2001, p.222]

Too bad the side-scrolling gameplay is so generic. You're best off staying far, far away from this galaxy. [Dec 2004, p.170]

This budget-priced shooting gallery would be more thrilling if your plane didn't control like a garbage truck sliding across ice. [Dec 2004, p.170]

Shamelessly uninspired. Trust me, you don't want to fly sortie after mind-numbing sortie of hour-long missions that almost always end in tragedy, forcing you to restart the whole flavorless affair. [Dec 2003, p.184]

Just too troubled to even bother renting. [May 2002, p.112]

Matches are slower than molasses on a flat surface and play out like blooper reels, with fighters facing the wrong way, refusing to pick up tables or pull off signature strikes. [Sept 2004, p.99]

Shamelessly uninspired. Trust me, you don't want to fly sortie after mind-numbing sortie of hour-long missions that almost always end in tragedy, forcing you to restart the whole flavorless affair. [Dec 2003, p.184]

This is a snore-fest made all the more yawnsome when you discover you have to watch the computer players take their turns in their geriatric entirety. [Oct 2002, p.194]

It's the general gameplay that's busted. Picking up an object is needlessly complex, tricky jumps seem to require more luck than skill, the camera is craptacular, boss battles are tedious, the vehicle-based levels are a joke, and the actual fighting action is bland. [Dec 2004, p.150]

The whole damn experience is like watching your dad perform Who Let the Dogs Out? – you want it out of your line of sight as quickly as possible. [Mar 2002, p.135]

If you can handle inelegant controls, graphics, and story, and a text-heavy menu system, this might hold some appeal. Otherwise, avoid it like lycanthropy. [July 2008, p.81]

Besides 5-year-old girly-girls who like, love Britney, the banal set of revolving cominations and a suck-it-for-all-it's-got song list will send you surfing on a contagious yawn-wave. [August 2002, p.123]

Beyond merely bad - it's kind of depressing. [July 2005, p.119]

Combat is about as exciting as watching paint dry. [Aug 2001, p.112]

It is simply a portable piece of ugliness that lacks humility, wit, or any entertainment value whatsoever. It is singularly unpleasant in the way it handles its subject matter, and it lacks the style or panache to carry its inadequacies with any dignity.

The completely screwed-up camera, noticeable lack of sound effects, and gameplay bugs make it obvious no one working on this game cared about it - why should you? [Sept 2004, p.104]

The players look horrible in comparison to Madden and NFL 2K2, and they move more sluggishly than Oprah after brunch. [Feb 2002, p.154]

Mentally handicapped enemies, repetitive mission objectives, and some of the least-intentionally humorous dialogue ever. [July 2003, p.110]

[It] has gotten faster with all the fluidity of a broken transmission. [Jan 2002, p.216]

Sorry, B-Man, you went from hero to a big zero. [Sept. 2006, p.97]