A well-executed... thing that's somehow being mis-sold as a video game. Either somebody at Nintendo is a certifiable maniac, or this is the future of video games. We're pretty sure it's the former.

Gameplay is soon stretched as thin as Mrs Incredible's arms after you've tired of the new character moves and primary school-level puzzles, that include untaxing challenges such as overcoming laser traps by destroying conveniently placed power supplies. [PC Zone]

There are some extra moves you can learn, but Tekken is better for fighting.

But it's the wrestling side that has really been beefed up. A new control system finally makes the action flow back and forth like only wrestling can. Plus the controls are easy to learn and get you into the thick of the action fast, pulling off fancy moves.

2D side-scrolling shooters don't really have much place at home on Xbox. Those such as Blowout should be cast out of the Xbox residence like a shamed family junkie and take refuge in the last-gen console crack house where they well and truly belong. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

The pairing of large-scale online battle game with the thrill-packed Lord of the Rings series should've been a winner, but as it's turned out, Conquest won't possibly satisfying any Battlefront fan or Lord of the Rings buff at all.

Remarkably boring, and even diehard fans of the series are probably better off without it.

For most it will be a tall order to overlook the crude graphics, let alone forgive the punishing difficulty levels and total exclusion of Skirmish options. Sure, it's nice to be offered a new historical setting for our RTS pursuits, but it's hardly a good reason to choose this game over one of the many better options cramming the shelves.

As ever, it's a case of 20 minutes of quick-fire fun at best, another lesson in how games from the past should just stay there at worst. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

The whole thing's about as free-roaming as a man in a straightjacket locked in a padded cell, and about as fast moving as a glacier.

From the cheesy plot and dialogue, to the levels that are set out as individual episodes of the show, even the constant snacking - it's all in there.

Place Battle Chips into your Deck. Hit "A" 'til the battle is done. The end.

The developer has actually managed to make the original Pac-Man games worse than they were 20-odd years ago. Jerky animations, a Pac-Man that's not even round and... Oh, I give up. Lucky it's only a tenner or we would have been really piqued.

A botched blend of XCOM and Tropico, which ultimately boils down to shallow strategy in a Goodfellas skin.

There's no aspect of the game that isn't abysmally implemented. I would dearly, dearly love to sit here and go on for five or six pages listing the faults, but it really isn't worth the effort. Just avoid UC like you would a diseased badger or rancid tramp. [PC Zone]

Kinect has confused the gaming cosmos. Rise of Nightmares certainly isn't a good game - but just about passes for a good Kinect game.

If you can make head or tail of the multitude of minor rules and spell/trap combinations, or already enjoy the cartoon, check this out. Anyone over 12, dig out that old algebra textbook for some more interesting bafflement.

While American Conquest: Divided Nation is sure to have civil war buffs drooling over its adherence to historical accuracy, from a strategic gameplay point of view, it's not exactly going to give the more established and, let's be honest, more technologically advanced RTS games like Rome: Total War or Cossacks II a run for their money. [PC Zone]

The lack of design nous displayed here makes it feel as though it was knocked out by two guys over a weekend.

After five minutes of this you'll be bored stiff. [PSW]

Reasonably competent RPG with over-fiddly combat, an awful manual and graphics straight out of "Lure Of The Temptress" on the Atari ST.

This pair of butt-bashing bints may be big in Japan, but we don't see the game taking off here. Some nice touches, but we've seen it all already.

There's very little to recommend with this title, besides some pretty visuals and the concept of being a knight. No, this just won't do at all. I wouldn't play this and you shouldn't either. [PC Zone]

It's the Versus mode which stands out - hurling streetlights and taxi cabs at Captain America is no end of fun. [PSW]

Avoid this one like you would an elderly relative at a wedding reception who's suffering from the plague. [PC Zone]

Might just be proof that racing games will never work with Kinect.

It's dull, mistranslated, claustrophobic (in a bad way) and thoroughly aimless. No amount of naked women adorning the walls can disguise the fact that Midnight Nowhere simply isn't much fun.

Like the frenetic multiplayer madness of Mashed, playing with or against mates always brings out the worst in them (and you), making 187 Ride or Die the ideal game for post-pub gamers. [PSW]

A deeply disappointing experience that barely appeals to hack 'n' slash nuts and fans of Kurosawa's masterpiece.

A unique concept let down by clunky controls, repetition and cringy script-writing.

An archaic tri-click method of delivery, a truly awful interface, a bunch of sorry camera angles and some ridiculous environments/opponents for you to play in/against.

A slow, moderately discomforting wheelbarrow ride into an Xbox-green sludge-pool of grump-making mediocrity. [PSW]

Like "Burnout" on horse tranquillizers. Only marginally less interesting.

It's so gangsta. It's so street. It's so shite. Painfully forcing every urban cliché going into every line of dialogue, the cutscenes reduced us to fits of laughter. That's laughing at, not with. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

Fists of Vengeance makes no pretence at being anything close to intelligent - it happily revels in its shameless idiocy, but it's fun through and through.

Dead to Rights II feels like a stripped down, budget version of the first game but at a top-whack price. It's content to retread old ground, which wasn't all that solid to begin with, and fails to bring anything genuinely new to the series. [PSW]

Once you enter the realms of multiplayer, Ape Academy really comes into its own, with enormous pleasure to be gained from events like the one metre dash, dodge ball, scissor, paper and stone or Geronimo. Ook - drink deep from the banana inspired mayhem.

So for all the weak enemy AI and graphical glitches, ABZ remains a decent and carnage-filled team-based blaster, worth checking out when the price drops.

The combat quickly becomes repetitive, simply involving mouse-clicking on-screen to shoot at the blindingly stupid enemies blundering towards you, retreating if they get too close, then shooting again, maybe using a barrel of explosives for a bit of a change.

Nano Breaker degenerates into a slew of mindless button-bashing encounters. It's fun in a retro kind of way, but it isn't quite intelligent enough to keep you coming back for more.

Playing Medabots: Infinity is about as much fun as eating poisonous glass.

The levels are dull-looking and you might have a job seeing what's happening on a standard GBA. If you are a fan of the films, even the third one, don't expect to relive the adrenaline rushes in this mediocre, disappointing GBA effort.

More bungling thief than Entrapment-esque vixen, this is a criminal excuse for a stealth 'em up. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

There's plenty of depth here, but at the end of the day, races become a repetitive flatbed of short, sweet dashes from A to B. And that's what stops BMT2 from being a really good game. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

Novadrome packs it all in in terms of options and modes, but fails to capture any of the charm of classic car combat titles like Twisted Metal or even its less good rip-off merchant of a friend, Vigilante 8.

If Shade was scrapped and given yet another redesign, the to-do list would be endless - wishy-washy combat, braindead AI, insipid level design, soul-crushing puzzles, a towering stack of bugs.

The interface is nigh on impenetrable. The system of exploration is ludicrous (the whole map is blacked out at the start, so at first you don't even know where the mountains lie). The scenarios are uninspiring. The combat is pointless and passes practically unnoticed. [PC Zone]

Eorzea is a beautiful world with huge potential for vast adventures, but it's just a shame that this first voyage into it is such a mis-step.

An empty shell of a shooter with a bottle of Costcutters own-brand vodka at its core, Kreed plays like a badly translated Russian tech demo from two years ago.

If you're a die-hard and quite old Sonic fan, Shadow the Hedgehog will probably disappoint with its weird mish-mash of styles and the same awkward and flawed 3D play of "Sonic Heroes." [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

An interesting game that's too-often a dog-egg to actually play. Sorry Duke, take fourteen years and try again...

The dialogue is so bad, the voice-acting so hammy and the text interludes so laced with obtuse meaning that you'll be reaching for the quit button before you can say perestroika.

It's an engaging scrap that just about manages to keep you hooked. Worth taking a chance on if you like fight-heavy action adventures with a seedy, skuzzy undercurrent and plenty of face-smashing. [PSW]

Sadly, the developers have completely missed the point of the TV show, knocking out a second-rate two-wheeled racer that will disappoint fans of the programme and appear pointless to anyone else. Even the ever-excitable Teutul boys sound bored of it all. We can't blame them really. [PSW]

Bulletproof is one of the darkest video games around, with its combination of gritty storyline and moonlit night-time setting. [PSW]

Don't get me wrong though, even though the end product is useless, creating your own game is fantastic fun - just don't expect to become the next Carmack. If you want to do that, start learning binary now. [PC Zone]

Maybe if Japanese development team Tranji had spent less time trying to show off Kurenai's posterior and more time tweaking the basic mechanics Red Ninja could have been a half decent alternative to Tenchu. As it is, much like Kurenai herself, this is one game that may look nice from a distance but turns into a right horror show when viewed up close. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

There are redeeming features, a few nice touches of scripting here and a cool boss there, but generally the fabled shitty-stick of non-touching is going to have to make another one of his increasingly common appearances. [PC Zone]

Faithful to the films in terms of character, the game is a victim of its own ambition - too clumsy to be a stealth 'em up, and too generic and monotonous to be a credible actioner. Shame. Now, where's that thermonuclear device...? [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

The title simply appears to have been rushed out without any testing, which is a real shame because underneath its problems, Dungeon Lords is a solid and enjoyable, if not ground-breaking RPG. [PC Zone]

There's no denying what unabashed, volatile fun Without Warning is. But blowing people and stuff up over and over again soon gets tiresome and it's precisely then that the early promise evaporates. [PSW]

It's a refreshing premise, but it isn't executed as well as it should be. Approach with caution.

The premise is certainly unique and brimming over with potential, but the execution is so lazy and ham-fisted if it were a killer it would have shot itself in the foot. Shame really. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

The faster the car, the more jelly-like things seem to become. The gorgeous Ford GT 2005 handles like the entire world was one big bouncy castle, as it bobs and lurches around like it had helium-filled wheels. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

If humorous driving jaunts are your bag, do yourself a favour and bag "San Andreas" instead.

The special attacks look crap and make no sense. How can you possibly electrocute a skeleton? Dry bone doesn't conduct. Someone wins. You're bored. The end.

By far the worst aspect of the game is the horrendous control system, which flicks confusingly between third- and first-person views, while the camera sweeps all over the shop and does its best to disorient you.

Its bargain basement credentials are evident in a lack of visual polish, poor mission balancing and dodgy enemy AI. Character animations are clunky, enemies fail to become alarmed by bullets ricocheting next to their heads, and the stealth mechanics are a little hazy.

With only two way multiplayer returning, this really was a missed opportunity to improve upon a disappointing franchise. As it stands, BW2 gets the smack put down on it by virtually every other fighter out there. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

While the game boasts an impressive array of hardware, you're sadly only allowed to play as the forces of the 'right and just' in a linear two-pronged campaign that starts with the US-led invasion of Afghanistan and finishes in Iraq.

Sure, it looks like the film on the surface, but you don't have to dig far to find a game that fails to live up to the license. Surprisingly, it's the competitive multiplayer that impresses the most.

While there's definitely some enjoyment to be found in small doses, we spent far too long dying, restarting and trying again to have any real fun.

What we have here is a Spidey-themed action title aimed squarely at the younger PC gamer - think bright colours, no real-life guns (the bad guys tote silly sci-fi bubble-pistol thingummies instead) and gameplay so easy you can sail through it in a single afternoon. Gritty it ain't.

It's fun then, but next to the visual magnificence of Cube's Rogue Squadron series, this looks like a clumsy kid's drawing. Flat textures, static backdrops and bog standard explosions spoil a lot of the game's atmospheric potential too.

Its banality is perfect. Even an inexplicable side-scrolling fish-tank shoot-'em-up level that pops up between the soporific platform stages fails to raise an eyebrow.

For every second of satisfaction, there is a minute of monotony; where cardboard enemies fall under a cloud of red paint, physics offer no value whatsoever, AI is largely non-existent and gameplay follows the worn-ragged formula of coloured keycards and enemies that appear from thin air. [PC Zone]

The AI is predictably primitive and inconsistent, with enemies failing to hear gun battles right outside their windows, yet spotting you with unerring ability at unlikely distances across the map.

(Altogether now) Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah, I'm stunned I bothered getting so far. You will live in misery too, if you play this Oompa Loompa Loompa Doompadee Doo. (Doompadee Doo.)

Too much tinkering means Pure barely feels like football and becomes a chore.

But this is gaming at its most depressing - it's clear to man and beast that the controls of this game simply do not work and are no fun whatsoever. Why don't you just fix it? Or, perhaps, you could just STOP MAKING ARMY MEN GAMES.

The appeal of button-bashing power bar games wore off when we put "International Track & Field" to rest years ago. Torino 2006 looks nice but we can't see you lasting long before slamming the pad down at the difficulty of the speed skating or nodding off from the monotony of the cross-country hobble. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

Despite boasting a wholesome choice of 16 lead characters as well as spells, melee weapons and guns, in reality the combat element of the game is weak.

An imaginative concept and some strong design are undone by a game that's gruelling in all the wrong ways.

The combat is stupidly easy and as badly designed as MC Hammer's trousers - timing kill moves or complex combos together is rendered fun-free, as you're held by the hand all the way through by giant yellow 'Y' icons that flash over an enemy when he's ripe for a kill move. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

The worst fighting game (and pretty much the worst game) I have ever insulted my hard drive with. [PC Zone]

If you're going to have a game that lets you bet in excess of thousands of dollars, it might be an idea to have a system that lets you type in the amount of the bet, rather than forcing you to click a hundred f***ing times to get anywhere near the high numbers. You know, just a suggestion. [PC Zone]

The ominous Willy Wonka himself, whether it was intended or not, looks and sounds disturbingly like Michael Jackson, and his army of Oompa Loompa slaves are no longer the orange-skinned and green-haired midgets we know and love. [PC Zone]

It's a shoddy game, full of graphical bugs, requiring a PC a damn sight more powerful than stated on the box, and lacking the under-the-hood accessibility that might otherwise endear it to the arcade racer.

The Cat In The Hat? A book filled with wit. As for the game, a big pile of sh...

This is the second best pool game for your PC. If you must have one, get "Pool Paradise" instead.

Admittedly, the game is aimed at a young audience, and as such, it's all too easy to win. The catch-up system favours the stragglers at the back, so it definitely won't appeal to Grand Prix 4 buffs who pore over post-race aerodynamics data. [PC Zone]

If there were a decent multiplayer mode it would perhaps be more worthwhile, but sadly there isn't even a shit one. And since the AI opponent spouts the same dialogue over and over, the whole game gets tiresome very quickly. [PC Zone]

I've reviewed some games that have made my balls ache in my time, but this one takes the biscuit of dull pain. Fundamentally abominable! [PC Zone]

The camera has a tendency to misbehave, leaving your troops obscured by mountains during battles and your workers hidden behind city walls. What's more, the linearity of the missions negates much of the game's strategic subtlety, while selecting troops is clumsy.

Lamely rolled out on the back of the film, it's one of those strategy games where you have an overwhelming urge to stop playing after three or four near-identical missions.

Phantasy Star Online is jam-packed with special gaming touches all combining to create one of the most pleasing gaming environments around. [PC Zone]

Crime Life fails in both gaming and moral terms. What we wouldn't have given for a few shiny rings to collect. Y'getme?