As a pre-order freebie, Ignition isn't bad, but it isn't worth paying for or playing through otherwise. [Jan 2011, p.69]

At 30 bucks, Farming Simulator 2013 mainly reminds us why the expression “bought the farm” has such negative connotations.

Predictably, you’ll have a much better time blasting away in by-the-numbers deathmatch, team deathmatch, and capture-the-flag engagements — well, if you can find any other players in the ghost town that passes for Scourge’s multiplayer lobby. Given the game’s crippling problems, it’s hard to blame folks for staying away in droves.

Spend your $50 on something--anything--else. [Jan 2011, p.81]

Unfortunately, the major addition for its XBLA debut - Kinect integration - is poorly implemented, leaving an otherwise shallow and dated experience.

Even when functional, however, Narco Terror lacks intrigue or interest, and feels like a lazy take on a well-worn blueprint.

Watching a B-movie can be cheesy good fun. Playing and paying money for one...that's a nightmare. [Sept 2007, p.79]

Overly linear levels, repetitive fights, and a distinct lack of polish. [Oct 2009, p.75]

It's a bit muddled, but the action is positively debilitating.

It looks like Capcom basically cut and pasted the sprites from the five earlier games, so there's no visual consistency between the characters. [July 2005, p.88]

We don't really need video versions that make the game ridiculously more difficult. [Jan 2003, p.80]

Many courses are so pointlessly complex and poorly laid out it's imossible to tell which way to turn. [Dec 2002, p.92]

Even at $20, this is a mess. [May 2005, p.80]

Snoop has been involved in some lame non-musical ventures over the years, but Way of the Dogg may be a new low.

You're left with awkward, stilted voice-acting, serviceable graphics, and rote button-pushing that feel less like a game experience and more like channel-surfing on your couch. Skip.

On Live it's an afternoon's worth of tinsel-tawdry blah; in solo play, you'll clock three hours, start to finish. No reason, then, to bother starting at all. [May 2006, p.77]

Even if Game Party was the only party-oriented Kinect game, we still wouldn't recommend it. [Feb 2011, p.73]

The same inconsistent Kinect recognition that drove us batty last year. [Feb 2012, p.74]

When a game's only achievement is that it's a better World War II shooter than "Hour of Victory"--and just barely--it's time to pack it up and just go home. [Feb 2008, p.79]

Mindless shooting of repetitive baddies and unlocking doors across 10 practically identical levels is not fun, and that is pretty much all you do here. [Feb 2004, p.82]

It's often difficult to tell where your character's bullets are heading and sometimes tough to see if environmental elements are being affected by your gunfire, both of which are vital in a shooter.

With Kinect Sports hosting way better bowling, you should avoid this at all costs. [Feb 2011, p.75]

Even at $20 it's worse than dull - it's unoriginal. When the loading screen is prettier than anything in the game, then you know you've got problems. [Jan 2004, p.70]

For the Hannah fan in your household, pick up Disney's Sing It instead. [July 2009, p.84]

What a colossal mistake! [Dec 2008, p.93]

The bigger issue, though, is that Motion Explosion just isn't very interesting, either solo (with single stages or a randomized three-level Motion Mix) or in alternating rounds with four players. It's pretty much excitement-free.

Exceptionally poor: we imagine Bruce is rolling in his grave right now. [Oct 2002, p.109]

Less than 60 minutes of uninspired gameplay for $30. [Aug 2010, p.81]

Leonardo's inventions were elegant creations, but the clumsy Da Vinci Code game isn't one of them. [Aug 2006, p.82]

Someone desperately needs to declare the Army Men franchise KIA, and spare gamers from any future war atrocities. We surrender! [July 2006, p.81]

An all-killing, all-leaping game in which you can neither kill nor leap...that truly does spell the end of honor for this Ninja. [Apr 2005, p.87]

Nothing bout the experience stands out, and in eschewing modern enhancements and conveniences, the developer hasn't crafted a purer or more-to-the-point shooter--just a much less interesting and impactful one. [April 2014, p.72]

If I were William Ford, I'd be looking for a new ad agency. [Nov. 2006, p.81]

We've reached the point in the 360's lifecycle where even movie tie-ins have decent graphics. Too bad that the only part of Megamind: Ultimate Showdown that doesn't totally suck. [Feb 2011, p.83]

Appalling.

It's painfully repetitive, and though you play as anti-hero Griffin, the added backstory just isn't that interesting. [May 2008, p.72]

It may flesh out the recent movie, but on Xbox, it feels like a picked-over meal. [Feb. 2007, p.78]

Though the real world environments aren't ugly, this Cabela's, ptarmigans and all, is simply pterrible. [Jan 2008, p.69]

Unless your nostalgia borders on masochism, let this pointless war rage without you.

As a gigantic fan of cycling, I'm absolutely crushed to report that this game is atrocious. [Oct 2009, p.80]

This limping Track & Field deserves no medals, let alone any of your Microsoft Points. [July 2007, p.81]

Sixteen-player online matches might offer some relief from the solo tedium…if you can locate someone to play with on Xbox Live. We tried several times with the retail game, to absolutely no avail.

Good luck ffinding a game on Live, anyway--the servers are barren, and with cut-rate production values like this, it's not hard to see why. [Holiday 2008, p.83]

Unless you're dying for a lightgun game at any costs, you're best advised to set your sights elsewhere. [Jan 2011, p.75]

Perhaps it's most critical element is deceptive: Samurai Shodown: Sen is so unfamiliar that even the franchise's most dedicated fans won't recognize it. [Jun 2010, p.83]

As a community, we must save the children...from mediocre cartoon-based cideogame adaptations like this one! [Holiday 2006, p.76]

Some subjects will just never translate well into videogames--like anything related to proctology, Paris Hilton, or, yes, MTV shows. [Feb. 2007, p.79]

If you're not gnashing your teeth trying to make Totem Ball work, then you're gritting them in pain because your arms are killing you. [Holiday 2006, p.80]

After playing through it, I can safely say that there's nothing redeeming about this dud. [Jan 2004, p.79]

The few exciting moments are simply crushed by the feeling of having the same content and problems tossed into a slimmer and sleazily misleading "sequel."

There's just no way this charmless slapdash mess is worth anywhere near its asking price, much less your hard-earned recreation time.

Close Combat also includes co-op and deathmatch, but you'll only lose friends by exposing them to this trash. [May 2005, p.88]

A sea of generic combat - you face an endless meat train of brain-dead A.I. schmucks that can't shoot straight and leave behind guns and ammo that mysteriously disappear at random. [Sept 2007, p.77]

Poorly conceived controls destroy what otherwise promised to be exciting and challenging. The simplest tasks become monotonous chores as you exhaust your hands in an effort to keep pace with world-record A.I. athletes.

XBLA’s Double Dragon II: Wander of the Dragons pulls the beating heart out of Technōs’ 1988 coin-op Double Dragon II: The Revenge and stomps on it until it barely resembles the sequel we once loved.

Though you’ll hunt pigs, turkey, elk, and many other animals across the 30 core missions, Hunter’s Trophy 2 is absolutely exhausting in its monotony. Neither the pursuit nor the kill proves remotely interesting, and it makes for a terribly tedious time.

Coupled with atrocious cutscenes and a pathetic story (how can a shadow be "ancient," anyway?), this is a real toad of a game. [Holiday 2005, p.73]

Yapping lies into a mic is a unique and creative idea, but Truth or Lies never works like it should, and there's no reason to play it beyond nabbing easy Achievements. [Jan 2011, p.65]

Cheap games don't have to be devoid of imagination, and Combat has no excuse for stapling together a bunch of tired cliches and calling it a bargain. [June 2005, p.82]

It's as maddening and absurdly designed as it sounds, and even the simple local co-op play — which allows four reticles onscreen at once — isn't enough to make Heavy Fire appealing.

Takedown: Red Sabre's slower pace is distinctive, but generic content means little else is--and single--player is miserable. [June 2014, p.81]

Baja 1000 sputters by with what just might be the worst vehicle handling of the decade. [Jan 2009, p.75]

Sadly, we can't even write this mess off as a movie tie-in rush job. It's just unforgivable. [June 2005, p.78]

I'm sure the folks behind this game would've been both pleased and amused to get a "6.9" score in this review. Sadly, this flaccid lump of code is barely worth a third of that. [Dec 2004, p.78]

RPM Tuning isn't even worth a dumb racing joke about flat tires and blown engines. Please, Kemco: Stop. [May 2005, p.86]

A clunky interface is your gateway to placeholder text, graphical glitches, and other telltale signs of simply not giving a crap.[March 2005, p.84]

At least there's an online-enabled multiplayer mode, but it sure isn't worth suffering through the dismal single-player campaign for. [Mar 2006, p.82]

Feels absolutely barren - which makes the $40 price point both baffling and ridiculous. [Feb 2012, p.74]

You still can't heal or even take enemies' weapons, although some minor gameplay improvements make this sequel better than "Berlin", so we are upping the score to a full 2.0 [Dec. 2006, p.84]

No quantity of vamires, werewolves, and undead zombies can salvage its dreadfully tedious gameplay. [July 2008, p.70]

Do yourself a favor: stay as far away from this wreck as possible. [May 2011, p.80]

In every respect, Fighter Within feels hacked together and devoid of interesting ideas or precise execution. The result is a game that would’ve been lousy at the launch of the original Kinect, but on Xbox One it’s just embarrassing.

No paint job can obscure the fact that connecting blows don't register more than half the time... Worse, basic movement is neither consistent nor natural. [Sept 2007, p.76]

You might be itching to try a new crab-fishing sim, but don't fall into Sea of Chaos' minigame-laden trap. [Feb 2011, p.81]

It's a joyless, grace-free slog dominated by repetitive stop-and-pop shootouts, lifeless linear environments, and inconsistent weapon physics, not to mention full-stop gameplay pauses during certain actions (like detonating a robot with an EMP grenade), obnoxiously tacky dialogue, missed audio cues, and overwrought enemy death screams that replay incessantly.

With incredibly poor visibility(apparently by design)and a thumping electronica soundtrack peppered with sophomoric sound effects, Space Giraffe offers a generous 100 levels of damn-near-unplayable technoslop. [Oct 2007, p.74]

It's like the game was born with cement shoes - destined to sink. [Feb 2005, p.80]

Outside of the core gameplay, the career mode is a bore, the cartoony visual style is ugly, and the voice implementation is super-sloppy. Even as a Live Arcade game, Main Event wouldn't rank high on the fight card. As a fully priced retail Kinect game, it's an embarrassment.

Sadly, that's not the case in this tremendously poor adaptation, which nauseates from the outset with obnoxious music and garish menus. [Dec 2011, p.73]

A formidable--and utterly indefensible--$10. Why, Konami!?! [Sept 2008, p.79]

How'd this even get through quality control? We haven't a clue, but you're better off playing Cabela's Outdoor Adventures...or pretty much any other hunting game. [Oct 2010, p.83]

An outrageously slight, unattractive, and ill-refined tribute to a franchise that deserves better.

You're better off slamming something in a car door....and that's free. [Holiday 2009, p.80]

Classified: The Sentinel Crisis couldn't flop much harder if it had gills and a hook in its chops. [July 2006, p.81]

The story is almost laughably bad, but a laugh would give it some value, and it really is value-less! [Feb 2006, p.79]

The worst sports game in Xbox history! [Feb 2010, p.88]

The Guy Game's trivia-based party-game core isn't fun or interesting enough to justify the ooze you'll feel covered with after watching one dumb, drunk, or disinterested girl after another reveal her chest to a horde of sweaty virgins. [Nov 2004, p.89]

Just a visually ugly game, through and through. [Jan 2006, p.68]

But the biggest bug of all came when Fireburst simply stopped working, and hard-froze our console any time we tried loading an event. Deleting and downloading the game anew didn’t help; we had to start over using another gamertag. Were we not reviewing this horrendous, bug-ridden racer, we would’ve taken that as a welcome sign to burn it from our memories and never look back.

A virtual mess of epic proportions. [Dec 2005, p.115]

This is the worst Xbox game available, in every category, from graphics through gameplay. [Feb 2003, p.75]

The awful controls are a hhindrance, the missions are pedantic, and the levels are apparently designed by LevelBot 3000. [Jun 2006, p.83]

A now-linear mess of awful mechanics, broken A.I., and constant glitches that wouldn’t have been remotely acceptable even in the console’s early days.