CSI: Hard Evidence isn't a game that can be summed up by a single numbers. Instead, it's best summed up by two words and two numbers - five hours, 1,000 gamerpoints. If you buy this, the only thing that needs investigating is your head.

Ready, Deadie, Gone. And don't come back. [Sept 2013, p.93]

Advanced video chat...and same old games. [Oct 2007, p.96]

The lobotomised, slash-block combat is the final straw. Rise of Nightmares offers nothing in the way of action, puzzles, intelligence, or maturity. It's a heartbreakingly lame way to kickstart the adult Kinect genre.

Ditches tricks for a succession of lame ideas that don't belong anywhere near a biking game. [Sept 2016, p.87]

Nowhere near clever enough to bother with. [Dec 2008, p.100]

Dull, frustrating and deeply dated cash-in. [Jan 2010, p.113]

A wasted opportunity. [Sept 2007, p.109]

It's Trials HD, but it's also rubbish. [Dec 2011, p.105]

Playing Zathura is like being force-fed Saddam Hussein's skid-marked underpants. And we find that kind of thing really upsetting.

Dull and predictable gameplay. Avoid. [Oct 2006, p.90]

You'd be a Raven lunatic to buy it. [Oct 2009, p.90]

An interesting concept that's backed up with almost nothing of consequence. Most of the game involves plodding around pressing one button, and even the puzzles solve themselves.

Don't mourn this roadkill. [Oct 2012, p.99]

Awful - a crushing disappointment. [Oct 2010, p.102]

Angry Birds Trilogy just feels like simple cash-raking from a franchise that's displayed little-to-no creativity since the first bird was fired.

Overlord focuses too much on trying to be funny, not enough on being fun. [Jan 2016, p.85]

A total snooze cruise of a car combat game.

Shrek the turd, more like. [Sept 2007, p.106]

Dreary and glitchy, a reminder that Hitman 2: Silent Assassin isn't as good as you recall. [May 2016, p.78]

Once you've stabbed one, run past one, and been killed by one, you've played enough. And that two minute process is not worth any amount of money.

A half-baked mess. [Feb 2014, p.86]

This parasitic barnacle seeks only to corrode and cash in on joy. [Feb 2014, p.89]

Passable idea with no charisma or presentation. [Feb 2012, p.99]

Fun for none of the family, sadly. [Christmas 2012, p.93]

The thrill of a 400-foot homer can't make up for many faults. Swing and a miss. [June 2018, p.80]

A poorly polished, poorly realised and remarkably underwhelming action game. [June 2018, p.82]

If you want to waste your money on a broken game that barely inspired a smile from us, buy Goat Simulator. Presumably, if Coffee Stain Studios tried making Hilarity Simulator it'd be set in a morgue.