Utterly unremarkable in every way possible. [Mar 2002, p.105]

It still appears that no one actually plays these games before they're released. [June 2001, p.100]

It’s dreadfully ugly and unredeemingly unfun. [Mar 2002, p.110]

Trouble is, the designers seem to be unaware of the fact that occasionally the player may die and be forced to restart an area...and listen to the same, unskippable, longwinded intro each time. [Jan. 2007, p.86]

Painfully amateur and slow. [June 2002, p.101]

If you like Whiteout... try Liquid Paper... perhaps on your eyeballs, to block out this eyesore of a game. [Feb 2003, p.109]

The Snowboard Slalom is a framerate abomination and, regardless of your adjustments, it controls like you're half-drunk. [Apr 2002, p.105]

Most of you should be able to plow through PK's handful of levels in a mere few hours. [Dec 2002, p.158]

The puzzles are so ploddingly bleak that you might find yourself craving more awful action just to keep you awake. The biggest problem? The utterly lackwit level design. [Aug 2003, p.103]

If there's one thing I've learned from Blade II, it's this: Vampires love monotony. [Nov 2002, p.183]

Dino Thunder is obviously trying to mimic the feel of free-roaming gameplay, but it fails to be entertaining about it. [Jan 2005, p.106]

Uninspired art and level design. [June 2005, p.95]

The various hip-hop accoutrements that GODM outfits its players with do little to alleviate the fact that the core element, actual rapping, is weak. [Dec 2004, p.106]

There are no surprise plot twists, no mysteries to unravel - nothing to keep you hooked at all. [Oct 2001, p.134]

A sloppy, wince-inducing piece. [Aug 2006, p.81]

Battle Assault 3 is almost, not quite, a clunker, existing in the space between serviceable and irritating.

The game is essentially a distillation of everything "cool" about the show, so after about five minutes of play, you start to understand why the show was cancelled. [Feb 2003, p.104]

For me, it became much more enjoyable as something to pick up and play for five or 10 minutes at a time rather than for prolonged sessions, but this is somewhat contrary to the way it's designed. [Nov 2004, p.130]

I can't help but grimace every time I think about someone dropping 40 bucks on this thing. [Jan 2005, p.118]

Due to things like a shared health bar for both routes, bad jumping puzzles, and a camera that has a hard time keeping track, you'll find yourself repeating the routes--a lot. Which gets boring. [Jun 2006, p.92]

DICE is so utterly amateurish it's almost depressing. Stay very, very far away. [Nov 2005, p.96]

I really tried to understand the appeal of Digimon, but the bland little scamps just rub me the wrong way. Digimon World 4 won't convert anyone who doesn't already get it.

My favorite part of the game was the loading screen, whicch is an extreme close-up of SpongeBob's face pressed up against the glass as his eyes twitch back and forth. That made me smile more than once, but other than that, my overall consensus is: "ehhhhh." [Jun 2006, p.102]

Poor collision detection ensures you'll scratch your head, wondering how a particular punch or kick landed when the enemy who threw it is only vaguely in the area of your character. [Nov 2003, p.132]

Looking for a serious challenge? Then don't bother with Masters of Metal! The competition drives like a raccoon drunk on moonshine! Drunk raccoons! [Feb 2004, p.104]

One big piece of crap...The pacing is slow and boring, the chicks aren't attractive, and the gameplay is poorly constructed. [Oct 2004, p.98]

Old brawler mechanics, GTA elements don't mix in particularly well. [Oct 2005, p.107]

The game isn't fun...You'll have a lot more funjust going to the bowling alley. [July 2004, p.97]