It's a sloppy, rushed port of a game that deserved better. [July 2006, p.77]

A limited trick set, tiny levels, unresponsive controls and exceedingly bland level design all hit Evolution where it hurts. [Dec 2002, p.160]

The only real downside is that the upgrade system is worthless. [Apr 2006, p.82]

No other game in the PSP launch window is so miserably underachieving. [June 2005, p.101]

The real-time battle system is such a mess that you’ll get either incredibly bored or overwhelmed in no time. [Mar 2002, p.108]

Xiaolin Showdown has the elements of a good game, but the execution is so sloppy that it ends up falling flat. [Jan. 2007, p.88]

Slammin' D-ball's gameplay is a far cry from that of the old-school classic, and it's quite a shame. [May 2002, p.103]

In short, Shattered Universe just doesn't deliver. The onscreen action never heats up enough to be considered exciting, and even if it did, the shoddy control scheme would keep it from being any fun anyway. [Dec 2003, p.176]

It actually feels more like "Wipeout" or "Extreme-G Racing" than "Crash Team Racing" or "Mario Kart." Well, a crappier version of "Wipeout" or "Extreme-G," anyway. [Oct 2003, p.116]

The best ice-racing simulator for the PSP. Too bad there's no option for winter tires. [Apr 2006, p.92]

There's something fundamentally wrong about the fact that you can beat American Idol - and not miss a single note - with the sound off. [Feb 2004, p.101]

That's the worst kind of game design--the kind that only the people who made it can understand. [Oct. 2006, p.83]

There's a Jamaican bobsled team joke in here somewhere, but I'm too disappointed to figure it out. [Apr 2006, p.78]

The pace of the game is slow enough to serve as a cure for insomnia. [June 2001, p.97]

The game's simplicity makes this a questionable choice for anyone over 8, but young kids will likely enjoy it. [Jan 2005, p.106]

Insert "cruel and unusual punishment" or similar prison-term jokesterism here. Bonus points for working in the words "salad" and "toss." [Apr 2006, p.82]

What the game lacks in production values, it makes up for with pure action gameplay. [Sept 2002, p.113]

The gameplay is just short of completely unredeemable. [Jan 2003, p.132]

It is, thankfully, a roughly four-hour affair, but that time is probably better spent actually watching the two excellent (and one decent) Terminator movies. [Feb 2004, p.104]

Sadists can now add a new option to their perverse torture list: Play Evolution Snowboarding. [Feb 2003, p.101]

The whole thing just feels like one big accident. [July 2002, p.101]

Another cynical exploitation of a fad, but hey, at least it's portable. [Dec 2005, p.139]

I’d commend the scope of the design, but you that it’s let down by the execution. [Feb 2002, p.113]

The absence of Ed Norton's and Brad Pitt's likenesses makes the generic characters look like a pack of half-naked Ken dolls, excepting the one with man boobs. [Dec 2004, p.108]

Allowing your kid to play this game is considered child abuse in 29 states. [Oct 2005, p.102]

Don’t expect an accurate depiction of movement, however, as poor physics dominate a lousy game. [Feb 2002, p.108]

If only Fugitive Hunter, the game, wasn't saddled with broken missions, pathetic animations, a sorry fighting system and a sorrier button-mashing mode. [Jan 2004, p.118]

Worthless combos, horrible-looking characters, poor level design, inexcusably low production value (no speech...at all), and absolutely pathetic special attacks that take five seconds to complete. [Sept 2004, p.97]