It's not as if the game itself is bad, it's that the technology is so horribly mangled that the delicious puzzle-laden universe is almost unplayable on Xbox. [June 2005, p.132]

The game is generic at best, broken at worst, and falls short in its attempts to innovate cooperative play.

The game is generic at best, broken at worst, and falls short in its attempts to innovate cooperative play.

"Quotation Forthcoming"

The game is generic at best, broken at worst, and falls short in its attempts to innovate cooperative play.

Reshef feels like it was assembed from various rejected design concepts and shards of concentrated boring. [Sept 2004, p.118]

A game that is likely to be frustrating to experienced players of the miniature game and nearly impossible to grasp for newcomers. [Dec 2006, p.157]

This sad excuse for a port doesn't even deserve a body bag. Just toss it in the river. [Nov. 2006, p.146]

The game suffers from slow pacing throughout the eight-plus hour experience, which fittingly ends with an anticlimactic scene. You should just hit the ignore button on this one.

As I added up all of the areas in which Last Rebellion is lacking, I couldn’t figure out if the developer had great intentions that it just couldn’t execute or if the team simply didn’t care. Whatever the case, it’s one of the least polished and least impressive RPGs I’ve played this generation.

Even if you had fun with Point Blank, you'll forget it existed minutes later. [Aug 2006, p.92]

The vehicles don't act how they would in real life and it's so short on thrills that it needs to sit atop a stack of phone books to see over the dashboard. [Oct 2003, p.145]

Put simply, NARC is a mess. Every time it starts to show a little potential, it blindsides you with a nearly unplayable mission, amazing camera failure, or a flat-out boring sidequest. [May 2005, p.112]

The old saying, "the whoe is not equal to the sum of its parts," hold particularly true with Cruis'n Velocity. [Mar 2002, p.91]

This has to be one of the worst games I've had the displeasure of playing in quite some time. [Sept 2005, p.100]

Finding entertainment in Tank Tank Tank is like panning for gold in the bathtub – you're not going to find anything. I can see a group of businessmen amusing themselves with the game at a bar during happy hour, but they'd never want to bring that experience home. Like a culturally sensitive foreign joke, Tank Tank Tank fails to translate.

I'm not your financial advisor, and I don't care how you spend your money. As one human being to another, I feel a responsibility to advise you not to bother with this boring mess. There are way better bad games out there to play, and even more good ones that are worth your time.

I'm not your financial advisor, and I don't care how you spend your money. As one human being to another, I feel a responsibility to advise you not to bother with this boring mess. There are way better bad games out there to play, and even more good ones that are worth your time.

A Sound of Thunder is chock full of some of the worst box-pushing tasks I've ever seen. Then again, it's also home to some of the worst driving controls and blandest graphics I've seen, so I guess that shouldn't shock me. [Apr 2004, p.110]

Wow, generic platform games have reached a new pinnacle of dull and cliche. [Feb 2005, p.113]

Sega's flavorless texture work spoils what could otherwise have been a visually exciting game. It's hard to recommend God of Thunder to even the most ardent of Thor fans. If you're looking for another Thor experience after seeing the film and paging through the character's 50 years worth of comic history, this game won't satisfy you.

Sega's flavorless texture work spoils what could otherwise have been a visually exciting game. It's hard to recommend God of Thunder to even the most ardent of Thor fans. If you're looking for another Thor experience after seeing the film and paging through the character's 50 years worth of comic history, this game won't satisfy you.

Mario and his pals starred in some great sports titles back in the Nintendo 64 days, but gameplay like this just doesn't cut it in 2011. [March 2011, p.93]

Several generations behind the quality we’re seeing in other PS2 first-person shooters. [Feb 2002, p.85]

One of the stupidest, most disappointing games of all time. [Dec 2003, p.175]

Saw II doesn't just take a step backwards from the first game – it performs a reverse swan dive off a balcony into a swimming pool filled with razorblades.

Saw II doesn't just take a step backwards from the first game – it performs a reverse swan dive off a balcony into a swimming pool filled with razorblades.

Never has a hero looked so stupid. As catastrophic as these missteps are, they pale in comparison to Spidey’s egregious video game blunder, Friend or Foe. [Nov 2007, p.144]

Half of Back to the Multiverse is done exceptionally well. The other half is the polar opposite. The gameplay could fuel any generic shooter, and doesn't feel like it belongs with this property. Stewie and Brian deliver some good laughs that fans of the show will want to see, but working through gameplay this bad isn't worth the effort to others.

Tron: Evolution will probably have a handful of defenders, but I can't reasonably suggest that anyone play it. It's a shoddy experience that ultimately isn't much fun. Tron superfans would do better simply watching the movie again and calling it a day. [Jan 2011, p.80]

Put simply, NARC is a mess. Every time it starts to show a little potential, it blindsides you with a nearly unplayable mission, amazing camera failure, or a flat-out boring sidequest. [May 2005, p.112]

Much like an American Ninja or Iron Eagle movie, if you see Target: Terror in the bargain bin, pick it up for a laugh. For the full price, however, get your shooting fix elsewhere.

Tron: Evolution will probably have a handful of defenders, but I can't reasonably suggest that anyone play it. It's a shoddy experience that ultimately isn't much fun. Tron superfans would do better simply watching the movie again and calling it a day.

It's a shame that the developer couldn't also license some fun gameplay to go along with the Corvette name. [June 2004, p.129]

Overkill’s The Walking Dead plans to dole out content in seasons, so the current batch of missions will soon expand. But dramatic reworking of most core combat and mission systems are necessary before the game could be worthy of a recommendation. The premise sounds promising for fans of cooperative play, zombie action, and the taut survival storylines implied by the license. The execution fails to meet the needs of any of those groups. You’re better off heeding the warning – keep this menacing door closed, and leave the zombies to their gnawing hunger.

The scope of this title covers the final third of the Legacy of Goku storyline, but it does so in splotchy, episodic segments relying on the most generic "walk around, talk to people, and fight things" formula. [Oct 2004, p.147]

Never has a hero looked so stupid. As catastrophic as these missteps are, they pale in comparison to Spidey’s egregious video game blunder, Friend or Foe.

I know the Nintendo party line stresses gameplay over graphics, but taking a majestic title like Far Cry and giving it the Wii treatment is like getting your Ferrari tuned up by a guy who normally works on Chevy Impalas. It doesn’t make much sense to port a franchise known for its amazing visuals, open-ended action, and dynamic enemy AI to a system lacking the power to achieve any of the above on the scale accomplished by the original game.

This has to be one of the worst games I've had the displeasure of playing in quite some time. [Sept 2005, p.100]

Just about everything about the playcontrol is cumbersome. [Feb 2002, p.91]

Even the most patient gamers will be bored to tears for the first few hours of this adventure. [Jan 2004, p.157]

The sad decline of the Destroy All Humans franchise is a minor tragedy, because the core idea here is fantastic. [Feb 2009, p.85]

Never has a hero looked so stupid. As catastrophic as these missteps are, they pale in comparison to Spidey’s egregious video game blunder, Friend or Foe. [Nov 2007, p.144]

A sub-par fighting game whose action plods along with the raging speed of an awards show. [May 2003, p.94]

The game is boring, but even more problematic is its occasional trouble recognizing simple actions. [Feb 2009, p.87]

Regardless of which mode you play, expect to suffer through several crashes. I experienced more blue screens on the PS4 than any other game I’ve played this generation.

As a fan of retro sports and arcade games, I was rooting for Old Time Hockey to succeed. I love the ‘70s sensibilities, and the sports gaming scene needs more varied offerings. But the slew-footed story mode and ridiculous amount of crashes make this game a healthy scratch. If V7 Entertainment can stabilize the performance, the modest $12 price tag makes this a decent option for those looking for couch co-op options, but don’t expect much beyond pick-up games.

This has to be one of the worst games I've had the displeasure of playing in quite some time. [Sept 2005, p.100]

As a fan of retro sports and arcade games, I was rooting for Old Time Hockey to succeed. I love the ‘70s sensibilities, and the sports gaming scene needs more varied offerings. But the slew-footed story mode and ridiculous amount of crashes make this game a healthy scratch. If V7 Entertainment can stabilize the performance, the modest $12 price tag makes this a decent option for those looking for couch co-op options, but don’t expect much beyond pick-up games.

The only impressive thing about Wii Party is how Nintendo dumbed down and removed the soul from a franchise that was already as stupid and soulless as Mario Party.

Every ambitious idea in C.O.P. is countered by a lazy compromise, right down to the unnecessarily acronymized title (which is never explained in a satisfactory way in the game). The game offers oodles of content for anyone willing to put up with the sub-par execution, but if you’ve ever played a Grand Theft Auto game or have reasonable standards for gameplay and storytelling, there’s no reason to waste your time on C.O.P.

This game stinks. That's really all there is to it. [July 2004, p.115]

There isn't a single feature, event, or option that ever rises above the very low bar of "half-assed." [Apr 2006, p.118]

There isn't a single feature, event, or option that ever rises above the very low bar of "half-assed." [Apr 2006, p.118]

Even ignoring the ludicrous plot, what really matters here should be the shooting mechanic, which just isn’t much fun. The strangely designed cover system has you popping up and down like a hyperactive rabbit, so you never really get a full view of the action. And get this: in the cooperative multiplayer, you play in split screen – in letterbox format! What were they thinking? I don’t know what else I can tell you to discourage you away from this complete disaster.

This is the most mindless button masher I've come across in a long time...Like its silently morbid hero, the new Gungrave shows up dead on arrival. [Nov 2004, p.158]

In a game, you need a control scheme that makes sense and works. Buffy's doesn't. At all... Try as I might, there's nothing that I can compliment or even remotely endorse in this game. [Sept 2003, p.126]

The tedious challenges and lack of vision in the overall design prevent it from being anything more than a waste of time and effort for you, and the development team responsible for this superhero-sized fiasco. [Feb 2003, p.110]

For those with no time or emotional investment in the series, this role-playing game is slower than milkshake moving up a cocktail straw, blander in appearance than most PSOne titles, and has more grating dialogue than a rerun of "The Facts of Life." [Jan 2005, p.125]

I can either pity this title, or I can tell you the truth - Galleon just isn't worth your time. [Oct 2004, p.140]

A foul dead fish aroma surrounds every gameplay aspect. The techniqes of casting, jigging, setting the hook, and landing the fish are miserably executed. [Sept 2004, p.115]

Sure it’s got remote tilt steering, liberal boosts, and plenty of jumps, but the core control is so fundamentally sloppy it verges on unplayable.

Activision is far too good of a publisher to unleash a game this poor onto the unsuspecting public. Fans of the series should skip this horrid excuse for a shooter and keep their glowing memories of previous Soldier of Fortune battles intact.

I wouldn't pawn off this boring dreck to even the most annoying neighbor kid. [Aug 2006, p.90]

If you've had neurosurgery more than twice, you may (and I stress the word) find a thimble's worth of entertainment here. If not, you'll get more kicks out of a sponge...just an ordinary pantless sponge. [Nov 2003, p.153]

The Waterworld "attraction" (actually a thirty-second clip of a plane crashing into the water) is the lamest thing I've ever seen, except for myself naked. Yuck! [Mar 2002, p.81]

Eidos has produced a turd of such magnitude that there is no adjective to describe my overwhelming distaste for this game and many of the things it stands for. [Jan 2004, p.134]

Combined with clunky controls and a bad camera, Monster Hunter Freedom winds up about as appealing as a pile of the Wolfman's droppings. [Jun 2006, p.119]

Outside of the occasional thrill of blowing some fool away with a shotgun or breaking a baseball bat over someone's head, there are no redeeming qualities to Final Fight: Streetwise. [Mar 2006, p.100]

I was initially excited when Sega first announced that Big Red Button would be developing Sonic Boom. I thought Sega handing the iconic license over to a new developer might shake Sonic loose of the slump he's endured via a string of rough Sonic Team titles. Unfortunately for fans and the Hedgehog himself, Sonic Boom is a blemished bore.

As a vehicle combat title, Crush Hour is bad; and as a wrestling game, it's doubly bad. It doesn't matter that it's cheap - you're still throwing your money away if you end up buying it. [May 2003, p.86]

This game had the chance to go in a different direction on the Wii and do something interesting with the Olympics, but unfortunately merely substitutes remote-shaking for button-mashing rather than offering genuinely fun activities.

The new gun combat is horrid. [Jan 2006, p.138]

Like an old player attempting a comeback after multiple knee reconstructions and several years away from the game, NBA Live 14 doesn't have enough skill or composure to keep up with the competition.

Devil’s Third is not an unplayable game, but it may as well be for all it offers. From the action to the environments, the experience is devoid of personality. The story is a joke, the combat is simplistic, and it only gets worse the deeper you get. If you enjoy playing games that are terrible for a laugh, Devil’s Third is a great candidate – but please don’t interpret that as a recommendation.

During my playtime, my emotions always registered somewhere between mildly annoyed and just plain bored. [May 2004, p.94]

If everything was working correctly, the Xbox One version would be on par with the PlayStation 4, but pervasive technical difficulties ultimately undermine it. More than two weeks into the review, we were still experiencing crippling lag in the Crime.net mission select screen, and when missions do load we had a less than 10 percent success rate in joining the matches. Your only bet to have a stable experience playing Payday 2 on Xbox One currently is to set up your own heist and invite friends.

The game is saddled with the same lackluster gameplay that has plagued the entire Army Men series.

Passing through these mediocre level designs is reminiscent of passing a kidney stone - tedious and painful. [Aug 2004, p.99]

Featuring perhaps the worst cutscenes I have ever seen, and gameplay that is tedious at best, there really isn't much SeaBlade has to offer. [Jan 2003, p.114]

Avoid at all costs.

A listless, sludgy slog through a knee-deep slush puddle of suckiness. [Dec 2003, p.187]

Dense with the most boring, tedious, and limp gameplay this side of sewer-water. [Nov 2005, p.180]

During my playtime, my emotions always registered somewhere between mildly annoyed and just plain bored. [May 2004, p.94]

Never once in Hard Evidence did I feel like I was participating in a murder investigation. All of the guesswork is handled for you, and there is no margin for error. Every question you ask in an interrogation leads to the correct answer, and every piece of evidence you secure at a crime scene is relevant to the case.

This tedious handheld port will do nothing to revive the franchise's ailing reputation. [Nov 2003, p.178]

There's absolutely no reason to put up with the frustration of doing the simplest of tasks in order to check out the futuristic abilities that you'll eventually command here. [Mar 2007, p.105]

I want to preface my statements that way, so that when I tell you how awful Pirate's Carnival is , maybe, just maybe, you'll believe me. [Sept. 2006, p.92]

Don’t confuse Wave Rally for a Baby Ruth floating in the PS2 pool – It’s a turd. [Feb 2002, p.84]

The majority of your time with Infernal (may it be short, for your sake) is spent gunning down goons in the employ of Heaven with one small handful of weapons. [June 2007, p.116]

On a console, you're left with a classic board game and no nifty little houses to roll around in your hand and lost under the couch. [Dec 2002, p.144]

It’s been awhile since I played a game that butchered so many of the basics of gameplay and design. [Sept 2008, p.103]

Here’s a tip, kids: You can play a better game at home with just a pen. Here’s how: start drawing circles on a sheet of paper. Yeah! You did it! Now your mom has something to put on the fridge.

This bird will need a true miracle to rise again from this disaster. [June 2005, p.130]

Unless you despise the X-Men movies and simply want more ammo that can be used to insult your friends, I strongly advise that you avoid this game like you would a French kissing toad. [July 2006, p.104]

Terrible when it comes to gameplay. [Apr 2002, p.83]

Though you can get used to the sub-par controls, there’s still no real reason to play Vanguard, from the uninspired level design to the tired subject matter. Sure, it works on a basic level in that you shoot Nazis and they fall down. Beyond that, there isn’t much here to enjoy.

Rail shooters don't get much more tedious, lifeless, or ugly than Attack of the Movies 3D. [Issue#206, p.96]