The Batman

Warner Bros. | Release Date: March 4, 2022

7.5	USER SCORE Generally favorable reviews based on 2615 Ratings

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TrolisjwJul 26, 2023

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Just awful. First to address everyone else’s concerns, yes, the lighting is too dark, the acting is cringeworthy, and the plot would need the world’s greatest detective to even find.

Now, to the main Bat himself. Pattinson is the dullest portrayal I’ve seen yet. He’s a subpar fighter, wearing what must be diamond armor with the flexibility of silk. This man is struck with thousands of bullets, and shows no signs of pain or wavering until the plot calls for it in the climax. This miracle armor is never explained.
Also, instead of the character’s usual tendency to investigate a crime scene solo, Robert ‘Bat’tinson insists on awkwardly shuffling around the room with every other cop, like he’s just some cosplayer Gordon brought in for a ride along. And he is the least intimidating Batman to date, and yes, that’s including TV’s Adam West. In the Dark Knight, we got the interrogation scene where Bale beat Joker to within an inch of his life. Chills. But in this movie? Batman talks to Riddler through a phone…behind glass…and he throws a tantrum asking “What have you doooone?!” over…and over…and over. Lame.
Well, at least Bruce Wayne is portrayed well in this mov-haha! No. Bruce is a moody brat and a recluse that looks like he’d be more at home at a beach bonfire party with a guitar, singing about his ‘deep emotional soul pain!’ Riddler was an embarrassment. He looked like an annoying dweeb. His costume was a gimp suit. I actually forgot about him halfway through the movie because he wasn’t adding anything to the plot. He did get one thing right though: Batman is dumber than he thought. Seriously, why would he think the “rat with wings” would be Penguin? They don’t have wings, so much as they have flippers.

Catwoman was unnecessary. Her outfit was uninspired, and her motivations were confusing, which brings me to:

Annika was…well, actually I have no idea who she was. In the car, Selina calls her “babe”, so my first thought was ‘lover’? But then maybe just a roommate too, I dunno. But Annika is kidnapped by Falcone for…reasons. And her strangled scream is sent as a voicemail to Selina, who in turn goes after Falcone, her (plot twist) father, and tries to shoot him, claiming, “This is for my Mother!” Wait so, is Annika her roommate, friend, lover, sister, mother, or whatever?! I don’t even care, their relation is never clearly established.

And some other irks here and there. I don’t think we even got a clear shot of the batmobile. It was too dark, but it looked uninspired, like something you’d see at a rally track. Batman assaults Gordon and escapes the entire GCPD in a gunfight, then a few scenes later turns in Falcone to the police in person, as if he’s a duly deputized citizen of the law. What the actual hell. Batman only caught Riddler because he let himself be caught.
HOW did the mayor not only survive a sniper shot, but appear in enough health to give a ‘hope speech’ in what would appear to be 1 or 2 in-world hours later?! HOW!?! This movie is a disappointing flop. There are thousands of better things to watch.… Expand

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