A work of sulky blandness that does itself no favors by latching onto better games and cooler vampires. [ Nov 2013, p.68]

Overly simplistic gameplay, repetitive jumping puzzles, and all-in-all monotony. [Sept 2003, p.97]

My biggest complaint is that you can't design your own stores: you have to use one of the four ultra-bland pre-fabricated designs. [May 2002, p.69]

Only "Evil Dead" diehards need apply. If you're looking for "Resident Evil," buy the original. [July 2001, p.64]

Driv3r's broken gameplay mechanics are just too significant to overlook. Ultimately, they turn this high-budget vehicular shooter into a mediocre "GTA" clone with two flat tires. [June 2005, p.69]

It's simply an average two-bit thug. [Aug 2007, p.63]

And the mundane levels have been stretched out with keycard hunts, mile-high ladders, and endless corridors. [June 2005, p.72]

We saw plenty of good action/adventures in the year 2000. This wasn't one of them. [Mar 2001, p.82]

It's a spectacular disaster, which feels like a rarity these days: there are lots of bad games, but for a game that was announced at E3 and made by a major publisher and studio to be this catastrophic is something.

Bargain bins are overflowing with shooters that are oldies-but-goodies. This one's a newbie-but-crappy. [July 2005, p.65]

If there's one thing that blows chunks more than a bad console-to-PC port, it's a recycled low-budget PC game that's past its due. [Oct. 2006, p.58]

Events unfold inexplicably, unrealistically, and almost arbitrarily. [June 2002, p.69]

While not a total disaster, [it] barely even offers cosmetic upgrades to the 2000 version's incredibly dull gameplay format. [Oct 2003, p.112]

This isn't a bad console port--it's a bad game, period. [June 2008, p.74]

A sentence of 25 to Life lasts only six to seven hours if played on medium difficulty. [Apr 2006, p.51]

Even Abermore's cult of beetle worshippers would draw the line at this many bugs.

Not much of a party game. [Apr 2003, p.103]

The worst part is the voice acting. [Dec 2009, p.77]

Apart from its bonus Exploration option(a travelogue mode where you can hop to the island's prettier locales), Anacapri: The Dream is as compelling as cold espresso. [Dec 2007, p.76]

The action would be passable if it were buoyed by a compelling story, but I ain't gripped so far. [2-Hour Impressions]

Tycoon games just don't stop coming, and the fun doesn't end in this java-themed budget title. [Dec. 2006, p.122]

Good grief--I could buy Half-Life 2 with that $10. [Aug 2011, p.76]

For all its many flaws, LOTR: Gollum is an oft-beautiful and oddly endearing adventure.

The laborious mechanics of control and observance make "gameplay" feel much too random. [Jan 2003, p.100]

Dated graphics, poor AI, buggy gameplay, cumbersome controls, and uninspired design choices make playing Conquest an exasperating experience. [July 2008, p.64]

Frustrating, buggy and overly dependent on trial-and-error, this is a missed opportunity.

The moral of the story is, if you're looking for a half-decent real-time strategy game, skip Left Behind. [Feb. 2007, p.66]

Gearheads may be temporarily amused, but for the rest of us, Monster Garage delivers about as much entertainment value as a fender-bender with a Hell's Angel. [July 2004, p.65]

Riddled with bugs and bizarre mechanics, Underworld Ascendant is a bafflingly poor debut from OtherSide Entertainment.

Chances are, you'll have more fun reading a medical textbook. [August 2002, p.69]

The terrible camera angles will force you to constantly use the manual camera adjustments, which is part of the reason you get killed so often and have to restart levels. [Mar 2004, p.62]

Orion: Dino Beatdown is an entirely broken FPS. [Sept 2012, p.77]

Road also boasts snore-rific multiplay that adds nothing. Even if the game's selling for less than its $19.99 M.S.R.P., leave it to rot. [Mar 2006, p.51]

Worst of all, there are no in-mission saves (only five "lives"), and each of the game's 13 missions can take up to an hour to complete. [Nov 2002, p.129]

As far as RPGs go, Konung 2 may very well be the worst I've ever played... Stay away from this disastrous sequel, even if someone gives it to you. [Apr 2005, p.70]

MoB's terrific art style and wanton dismemberment are completely wasted on this overwhelmingly inadequate shooter. [July 2009, p.82]

Value priced at only 20 bucks, but not rreally worth the penicillin shot. [Dec 2007, p.70]

This gameworld is essentially a bad parody of a David Lynch production. Every scene is draped in “weirdness wallpaper.” It’s weird, all right, but not exactly engaging.

Combat is largely devoid of any tactics, and the only interesting aspect of the fighting is a two-fisted system that lets you swing a sword with one hand and fire a gun with the other. [July 2004, p.68]

It's not even remotely close to being fun, and serves as a fine example of how not to make an action game. [Sept 2011, p.77]

The features that aren't missing are bugged beyond use. Takedown is a bare-bones wreck in need of substantial patching. [Holiday 2013, p.56]

Be warned...You Are Empty isn't so much a title as a disclaimer. [Mar 2008, p.74]

Somewhat dodgy AI can mar certain missions and the game practically screams for a co-op mode, but unfortunately, it's strictly single-player. [Apr 2007, p.55]

For what it is, The Incredible Hulk isn't too bad. The problem is, it's still bad. [Oct 2008, p.68]

X misses the spot. The occasional bit of spectacle can't save this boring, broken and charmless space simulation. [March 2014, p.60]

What really condemns Demonworld, though, are its atrocious graphics and horrific AI and pathfinding. [Apr 2002, p.73]

Mistmare has some truly wondrous landscapes and jaw-dropping monsters and such, thanks in no small part to the LithTech engine, but it just came out of the oven too early. [Nov 2003, p.118]

Shame on you SEGA, for disrespecting fans with this sad excuse for an action game. [Aug 2008, p.65]

It's short, it's bland, and it's got all the ingredients to be PC Gamer's most generic shooter of '08. [Dec 2008, p.66]

Its individual parts are pure hit-and-miss, but if you overlook the misses and get on with killing bad guys, you'll have a good time. [July 2003, p.82]

This game got repetitious after about 15 minutes and downright treadmill-like within a half-hour. The emperor's verdict: Thumb down. [May 2004, p.71]

It's as if the designers had never even seen a computer game, let alone played one... It's just a terrible game. [July 2004, p.61]

As if the flat, static gameplay weren't woeful enough, there's also an apparent bug: sometimes you get hit with high interest loans that you never took out! [June 2003, p.88]

Developer Dartmoor Studios seemingly cranked this one out for the sole purpose of filling the space between "Airport Tycoon" and "Coffee Tycoon" on the budget game shelf at Wal-Mart. [Nov. 2006, p.76]

Worst of all, this is a fighting game in which the fighting is neither exciting nor funny. The controls are a wreck, whether you're playing using a keyboard or a gamepad. [Jan 2004, p.119]

Sure, it has some substance - Omaha and two other poker types supporting the main Texas Hold 'Em - plus multiplay that can be set up over a LAN mixing real and AI players. But its obnoxious personality makes it the fish of the group. [Apr 2005, p.65]

Playing Revolution is like driving a Lamborghini that's been torn apart and reassembled by a blindfolded mechanic: it's cheap, and the engine runs, but I wouldn't recommend you get behind the wheel, because there's bound to be some important parts left out. [May 2003, p.68]

The really smart thing is to quit out early, uninstall it and play damn near anything else instead. [Mar 2010, p.85]

This is a Red Alert on the Bad Game Threat Advisory meter, a third-rate ripoff of "Postal" so tasteless that I wanted to scrub myself with Lysol after getting up from the computer. [Dec. 2006, p.56]

Crappy gameplay mechanics, crappy graphics, crappy AI, crappy gameplay options, and crappy controller support. [Holiday 2003, p.110]

With little satisfying gameplay to back it up, Charlie's $30 price tag borders on insult. [Nov 2005, p.80]

Legends, you're the worst. [Feb 2013, p.79]

Getting voted off THIS island makes you a winner, not a loser. [Feb 2002, p.79]

If the miserable gameplay doesn't turn you off, the underwhelming visuals will do the trick. [Nov. 2006, p.60]

In PR terms, it's the world's costliest public beta. There's a lithe control system in the wreckage, but it'll take many updates to dig it out.

Playing alone with bots is unbearable - the AI players run into walls and can't aim for squat. [Apr 2004, p.74]

I apologize for the inconvenience, sir, but Call of Heroes doesn't come with any multi-player, though it does have 15 single-player levels and a few boss battles added for extra flavor. [Oct 2007, p.70]

Though Terra Wars: NY Invasion is destined for the bargain bin(priced at $19.99, it's actually probably already there), playing through its approximately seven hours of gameplay will at least satiate your natural instinct to kill aliens--but not much else. [Oct. 2006, p.58]

This is an immense disservice to the Flatout franchise, and one that makes Flatout 2 look like a vehicular ballet. [Apr 2012, p.72]

The game barely qualifies as playable given its myriad of technical issues, but even when it is working as intended, you'll wish that it wasn't.

Even Skeeter and Zeke don't much like this pid'ful excuse for a racer. [August 2002, p.68]

A shameless knock-off that repeats many of DayZ's problems. Worst audio ever. Bullets for sale? Really?

This shooter's imbecilic AI and laughable weapons-modelling all scream "rush job," through each of its nine sleep-inducing missions. [July 2003, p.75]

As you're chucking the box, notice how wonderful it feels to be able to aim properly; and as it hits the trash can with a satisfying clunk, you can be assured that you've just experienced the height of its realism. [Nov 2003, p.117]

I've played Flash-game advertisements that are more fun than NRA Varmint Hunter. [March 2005, p.73]

All told, BDB took less than 30 minutes to beat, and there's no point in playing it again. [Oct 2002, p.98]

The performance is nohwere near as smooth as I remember on my mothballed Dreamcast - nor as fun. [Jan 2003, p.104]

Strictly for fans of turn-based space-strategy epics, but it's the Acme of the genre. [June 2002, p.60]

This may well be John Tiller’s masterpiece. For dynamic, white-knuckled intensity and fine-grained realism, it comes closer than any previous PC game to replicating the spirit of that legendary boardgame classic "Advanced Squad Leader."

Enjoy it while it lasts, because I doubt it'll last long. [Apr 2002, p.76]

A lot more fun than I envisioned it to be. [Apr 2002, p.84]

SL's graphics engine is by far the buggiest and most poorly optimized that I've seen in years, with enough frame-rate bottlenecks, clipping, draw-through, and CD-access pauses to leave you gasping in your chair. [Mar 2003, p.91]

As accessible and deep as a serious military simulation can get. If you want to taste command in modern war, this is your game. [Mar 2003, p.95]

The most annoying shortcoming is the narrow path you follow, with no option to roam freely. [Aug 2003, p.67]

What saves the game is the hilarious commentary, peformed by a loudmouth parrot. [Aug 2003, p.70]

One of the more enjoyable PC arcade racers to come along in years. [July 2003, p.84]

Not a sexy action shooter, but an intricate, richly detailed game of serious turn-based strategy. But hex-heads and "MechWarrior" aficionados will find lots here to suck them in. [Nov 2003, p.122]

With no career options to choose from - and only 30 unconnected missions up for grabs in the single-player menu - the entire Operation Iraqi Freedom experience is a remarkably fleeting and sterile exercise for experienced simmers. [Oct 2003, p.114]

Honestly, I have never seen a hunting game this beautiful... Truly hardcore hunters will probably find Cabela's 2004 a deep, authentic game, but more casual gamers will be happier with the easier and more enjoyable "Hunting Unlimited 2." [Holiday 2003, p.105]

Graphics aside, Geneforge 2 is a terrific game to start with if you're fairly new to the RPG genre. It's easy to just dive in and start playing, and all the help you need is built into the interface - just a mouse-click away at all times. And the game's virtually bug-free. [Apr 2004, p.80]

The game's apples-to-apples translation keeps it only good instead of great. I kept wishing the developers had done more to capitalize on the new platform. [Feb 2004, p.81]

If party trivia is your thing, buying the Trivial Pursuit board game is a better investment. [Nov 2004, p.87]

Many of the game's varied track environments are on par with those in A-list arcade racers. [Mar 2004, p.80]

It seems that my best efforts to "train" [my fellow climbers] in the various arts of climbing, they all seem to lack the most basic cognitive thinking. In fact, they keep insisting on trying to walk through rocks (as opposed to simply walking around them), and they bunch up when it comes time to climb, crawling around on the ground like common baboons. [Sept 2004, p.63]

The shallow management quickly devolves into make-work. Toss in frustrating random hurricanes and fires, and you'll recall why you couldn't wait to graduate. [May 2004, p.73]

SNS's powersliding physics, six-player GameSpy action, and assertive AI are as entertaining as ever, but a horribly unrealistic "Velcro Wall" effect (lightly grazing the outside barrier now slows your car to a virtual standstill) and some persistent graphics, audio, and controller glitches eventually thrown an unwelcome wrench into the proceedings. [June 2004, p.77]

Even more annoying is the omission of any kind of multiplay, which is where the real joy lies in this kind of game. [Sept 2004, p.70]

This buggy clunker wouldn't be worth playing even if it was being given away for free. [Oct 2004, p.99]