While it has an amazing cell-shaded, anime-influenced look that's both stylish and striking, it also has totally unnatural and unnecessarily complicated controls that make it impossible to play.

Set up like Grand Theft Alien, there are tons of missions to complete, though you can also just roam around, killing filthy humans and destroying their stuff.

Played as both a sword-wielding samurai and a warrior monk who swings what looks like a table leg, Genji is mostly a button masher, but one that requires good timing to pull off its truly brutal (and life saving) moves.

The only two things that don’t fly in House Party are illegal substances and Robert Downey Jr., which is too bad since there aren’t any Sim Cops on patrol.

New costumes, new environments, new villains—and it’s all just as addictive as you remember.

Welcome to the mile-high club.

You can practically hear the warbly ocarina, feel the saddle sores and smell Clint Eastwood’s foul, hand-rolled cigar in this video game homage to spaghetti westerns.

Fighting an army of the undead with a six-shooter is rather challenging, but the game has smooth controls and sharp-edged firearms that allow you to get your gunsu on.

The sharp graphics and advanced jiggle physics will no doubt prick the interest of lonely gamers, but surprisingly, the game's volleyball action is pretty solid. And that's the most important thing…right?

And with the engaging story, plus the graphic-novel presentation (boxes of action and text are constantly popping up on-screen), this truth is worth uncovering.

Show-offs can even stealthily duck behind cover and shoot at foes’ feet to make ’em jig like Michael Flatley sans Ritalin.

Despite the occasionally clunky controls, Emperor’s Tomb does impress with its hand-to-hand brawls (Ms. Croft would be lost without HER weapons) and the free-range exploration allowed within each level.

Truly spooky graphics and nut-shriveling sounds.

And with the engaging story, plus the graphic-novel presentation (boxes of action and text are constantly popping up on-screen), this truth is worth uncovering.

The body count is rivaled only by novel game-play features and production values that make blood spurts akin to snowflakes-no two are the same.

The problem here is Blitz is a lot like Jerry Springer: if you’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen them all. This year’s edition does little to dispel that theory, since it comes with only a handful of new features, none of which include online play.

Splintered wooden furniture doubles as vampire vaporizing shivs to expand on your already wide variety of exterminating capabilities.

Both the solo and multiplayer options deliver the explosive goods, but for maximum entertainment value try betting with friends on the strategy-based Conquest mode. Loser has to sponge-bathe Jabba!

Sure, the action is pretty basic—it's still kill or be killed—but with more open spaces to run around and new foes to fight, Ties is like a weekend with Russell Crowe: disturbing, bloody, and a damn good time.

Confused by the sometimes clunky camera angles? You can deliver your skull-smashing, thong-flashing high kicks in soothing slow motion.

Nothing jazzes up a sport better than flagrant infractions.

A little too complicated for its own good.

If you can keep yourself from blinking, you might be able to help the little furry freak collect his golden rings, like some sort of crank-addicted Hobbit.

Thankfully, the ability to upgrade your jet pack adds a much-needed modicum of depth, while the control scheme makes it easy to move in one direction while blowing stuff up in the opposite. Titanium-breasted robozons, a-w-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-y!

It may not appease the history buffs, but it will delight the trigger-happy.

Drivables—from hearses to school buses to muscle cars—all handle differently, but their arcade-style ease nicely compliments an overall dumb-ass experience that’s as fun as getting a bellyful of corn liquor and chasing a greased piglet.

To say you need quick reflexes to survive this would be an understatement—it’s almost like you need to use a mystical, ambivalent power to help guide you through it. Sort of like the movie.

Namco has bastardized one of our favorite timewasters into a ho-hum jump-a-thon with the occasional maze thrown in.

Amusing.

Despite the occasionally clunky controls, Emperor’s Tomb does impress with its hand-to-hand brawls (Ms. Croft would be lost without HER weapons) and the free-range exploration allowed within each level.

It may not appease the history buffs, but it will delight the trigger-happy.

Splintered wooden furniture doubles as vampire vaporizing shivs to expand on your already wide variety of exterminating capabilities.

Once you get past all the gamesmanship, you can concentrate on bitch-slapping Mother Nature by creating twisted beasts that would make Jack Hanna brown his khakis.

Difficult navigation and slow play require Zen-like patience, but riches await the persistent. You’ll revel in a bowel-loosening atmosphere, brain-twisting puzzles, and voice acting surpassed in horror only by "My Slutty Wife XIX."

If the ensuing police brutality doesn’t mold you into the model Wheelman, then having to endure those whiny English cop sirens surely will.

The problem here is Blitz is a lot like Jerry Springer: if you’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen them all. This year’s edition does little to dispel that theory, since it comes with only a handful of new features, none of which include online play.

Drivables—from hearses to school buses to muscle cars—all handle differently, but their arcade-style ease nicely compliments an overall dumb-ass experience that’s as fun as getting a bellyful of corn liquor and chasing a greased piglet.

[Its] shortcomings make it hard to recommend if you’ve bought a previous edition in the past, but it’s just so damn fun to play and watch that it might be worth picking up anyway.

Action fans might balk at what sounds like a standard role-playing game opening, but Sudeki soon bursts into the most intense, bone-crunching combat you'll find on any platform.

Even if a pirate tale doesn’t shiver your timbers, the Lara Croft–like design of Kat will surely raise your mast.

Unfortunately, when it comes to actual racing, FlatOut is about as interesting as a public service announcement for seatbelts.

Both the solo and multiplayer options deliver the explosive goods, but for maximum entertainment value try betting with friends on the strategy-based Conquest mode. Loser has to sponge-bathe Jabba!

Now we don’t mean to be football snobs here, but there’s just something wrong when a downfield bomb takes longer to drop than the Goodyear blimp. Just ask the unconscious wide receiver that got clocked by a safety waiting for it to come down.

Sure, most of the game is from left field, but there’s actually enough realistic action to satisfy golf cart owners.

And with the engaging story, plus the graphic-novel presentation (boxes of action and text are constantly popping up on-screen), this truth is worth uncovering.

With Heroes, D&D has severed its dorky roots in favor of fast-paced, arcade-style hackin' 'n' slashin'.

At last you’ll infiltrate the secret lair, where you’ll discover…you’ve been playing a very standard-issue game.

Easy-to-master controls, new camera angles, customizable teams, legendary players like Babe Ruth and Jackie Robinson—don’t wait for Mother Nature’s lazy ass; spring starts now.

And while it's more of a tech demo than a test of reflexes, after a long day of crime and combat, it's just what your overworked thumbs need.

We could have done without the ads for Toyota (what is this, a movie preview?), but the slamming soundtrack and retro touches—the 1995 version of EA's game is included—should help bring the league one step closer to atoning for the Charlotte Bobcats.

If you think the best parts of movies involve explosions, car chases, and death-defying leaps (is there anything else?), then this homage to Hollywood’s unsung lunatics is just the thing for you.

Take one part "Grand Theft Auto" and one part car combat game "Twisted Metal Black." Mix, ingest, and vomit. Stare wistfully into bowl. What could have been a great game—car carnage with heavy artillery against gangs in cities devastated by a mysterious plague—is only mediocre.

Vexx is a curiously grim exercise featuring gargantuan free-form levels fraught with danger and a surprisingly combat-heavy fighting system of combos, uppercuts, and vicious slashes.

Luckily, the smooth controls guarantee that all you'll have to worry about is dribbling paint and bumbling cops.

Ultra-deep.

Unfortunately, when it comes to actual racing, FlatOut is about as interesting as a public service announcement for seatbelts.

Final bonus: Unlike most games of this sort, Bloody Roar 3 allows you to knock your opponent through walls instead of just into them.

Such virtual destruction may once have seemed innocent, but these days the whole thing hits a little close to home.

And while fans of such modern shootouts as Halo 2 will scoff at its Super Nintendo–ish look and gameplay, anyone who can remember the last decade without the aid of I Love the ’90s should come away smiling.

Stevie Wonder could breeze through this first-person shooter in under five hours.

It may not appease the history buffs, but it will delight the trigger-happy.

George Clooney would crap A Perfect Storm if he had to endure the watery challenges in this stomach-churning thrill ride.

Though challenging, it's also sometimes pedestrian, with a host of uninspired levels and dim bad guys ruining what could have been the triumphant return of 007.

A fun and novel idea.

Unlike the previous Sims games, all of these citizens are controlled by actual people. In other words, you might want to double-check the genders of those two cuties before you try to score the world’s first virtual hot-tub ménage à trois.

The game play has been streamlined for less fussy PS2 players. Plus there’s a single-player mode, where AI teammates respond to 160 voice commands. And the online levels—with up to 16 players barking through headsets simultaneously—is enough to make you postpone your pee break for hours.

Though challenging, it's also sometimes pedestrian, with a host of uninspired levels and dim bad guys ruining what could have been the triumphant return of 007.

You'll add valuable mech piloting skills to your résumé in punishing combat situations that are as close as you'll ever get to the real thing...were these machines not totally fictional.

Unfortunately, when it comes to actual racing, FlatOut is about as interesting as a public service announcement for seatbelts.

You get the pick of the litter of the best real-life SUVs, 4x4s, and Hummers to take into territory more rugged than Edward James Olmos’ cheek.

A variety of wheels and weaponry ensures there'll be loads of destruction, while the online option gives this gas-guzzler some extra mileage.

While it has an amazing cell-shaded, anime-influenced look that’s both stylish and striking, it also has totally unnatural and unnecessarily complicated controls that make it impossible to play.

Vexx is a curiously grim exercise featuring gargantuan free-form levels fraught with danger and a surprisingly combat-heavy fighting system of combos, uppercuts, and vicious slashes.

The sickest shooter this side of Xbox killer app "Halo."

While this muck jam has expansive environments and great graphics, it also boasts as much originality as a Winger sing-along chorus. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun.

This frantic shooter in the James Bond style will leave players visibly shaken…and definitely stirred.

It's not all brutality. The Punisher is also one of the most immersive strategy games ever created. Aim for the head and enjoy.

While the graphics are different from previous Taxi incarnations, the goal of this romp is the same.

Keith Jackson is good for an occasional chortle, and brings realism to the game.

The game takes hits for its often crappy camera angles. Still, it’ll satisfy your raging blood lust.

If the boys of summer took a cue from Babe Ruth and got liquored up before a game, the results would look something like this.

Luckily, the smooth controls guarantee that all you'll have to worry about is dribbling paint and bumbling cops.

Luckily, the smooth controls guarantee that all you'll have to worry about is dribbling paint and bumbling cops.

The only thing that’s out of place is Shaggy’s voice.

The unique fighting system keeps things lively—martial arts and gun battles play out by aligning "moves" on an action bar—but whether or not there are enough Matrix fans out there to populate this huge, lush world remains to be seen.

Though challenging, it's also sometimes pedestrian, with a host of uninspired levels and dim bad guys ruining what could have been the triumphant return of 007.

They’ve ditched realistic racing for a straight-forward adrenaline rush where amazing vehicular explosions are your reward spectacularly bad driving.

Take one part "Grand Theft Auto" and one part car combat game "Twisted Metal Black." Mix, ingest, and vomit. Stare wistfully into bowl. What could have been a great game—car carnage with heavy artillery against gangs in cities devastated by a mysterious plague—is only mediocre.

The tight controls are a cinch for novices, but obsessive attention to detail will score with fanatics.

But the game's focus on cooperative gameplay with an AI fighting partner feels more forced than fun. If we wanted to be this bored with another person, we’d have gotten married.

It's not all brutality. The Punisher is also one of the most immersive strategy games ever created. Aim for the head and enjoy.

Clunky camera moves hit the occasional sour note, but the eventual showdown with the Dark Lord Currently Known as Satan makes it all well worth the ride.

The sickest shooter this side of Xbox killer app "Halo."

The game's unique flick-targeting system-"flick" the right control stick towards an enemy and you're automatically locked on-takes some getting used to, but actually frees up the triggers and face buttons, meaning you've got plenty of options when it's time to dole out ass-bootings.

Hollywood always screws up a good, cheesy kung fu movie by disrupting it with a plot (Jackie Chan, we’re looking at your outtakes reel), but the B-movie studio in this video game doesn’t make that mistake.

Despite its replay value, this is little more than a restructured stroll down memory lane. Next time, let's hope Nintendo enters the 21st century and puts this puppy online.

The bizarre levels and challenging puzzles remain engrossing even when you start asking the never-answered question, “What’s the point?”

If the steep learning curve has you hollering "Mayday!" a little too often, you can always switch sides and play as a Japanese pilot—and plan a little do-it-yourself Pearl Harbor.