Do the front lines give you the shakes? Then skip the "let's go boys!" bravado, settle into a more comfortable overhead viewpoint, and orchestrate 40 missions that include famous battles like D-Day and Operation Market Garden. [Aug 2004, p.90]

But for the crimes of middling graphics and dull-as-dirt game play, we sentence Dredd vs. Death to eternal burial in the discount bin at Costco. Court adjourned.

The ordinary race-and-chaser’s loosely knit compilation of repetitive Mini Cooper showdowns has a recognizable scene or two, but that’s about it.

While not the deepest racer, the game has speedy thrills and frantic multiplayer action that help bring Sonic's usual racing antics and signature speed to the sky.

But while the PSP version adds a two-player Co-op mode, it also has wonkier controls than its console cousin, which weren't great to begin with.

Blocky backgrounds and mushy controls make this about as tasty as a mouthful of yellow snow.

While not the deepest racer, the game has speedy thrills and frantic multiplayer action that help bring Sonic's usual racing antics and signature speed to the sky.

After a thorough training mode on the finer points on scrums, tries, and lineouts, one (or two players cooperatively) can take the controls and realistically injure opponents on soggy, mud-rutted pitches. Think "Madden NFL Football" minus the pads, steroids, and senile announcer, mate.

Crush Hour is like some hick dream—demolition derby mated with pro wrestling—that actually gets old pretty damn quick.

But for the crimes of middling graphics and dull-as-dirt game play, we sentence Dredd vs. Death to eternal burial in the discount bin at Costco. Court adjourned.

Unfortunately, figuring out how to work the controller is absolutely infuriating, meaning you go into firefights against stealthy Charlie with no knowledge of your environment, opponent, or weapon.

The ordinary race-and-chaser’s loosely knit compilation of repetitive Mini Cooper showdowns has a recognizable scene or two, but that’s about it.

The drab pacing isn’t helped by clunky controls and muddy graphics.

Seriously, you’d be hard-pressed to find a game with a more craptastic combination of graphics and gunplay.

Pac’s newest adventure involves playing cheesy boards and minigames with his sappy friends (obviously his wife’s pals), who look like they hopped out of a Barney video.

After delivering the best beer-guzzling entertainment to dorm rooms last year, this half-assed sequel plays worse than Dick Vitale’s toupee.

If you do a good job, you might even get a free donut or two.

Do the front lines give you the shakes? Then skip the "let's go boys!" bravado, settle into a more comfortable overhead viewpoint, and orchestrate 40 missions that include famous battles like D-Day and Operation Market Garden. [Aug 2004, p.90]

The ordinary race-and-chaser’s loosely knit compilation of repetitive Mini Cooper showdowns has a recognizable scene or two, but that’s about it.

We forsee you buying this game, enjoying it at first, getting frustrated at certain parts, then putting it on your shelf after you’re done and rarely playing it again.

Fate also dispenses with T2’s cyborg-boy love plot, so you can focus on blasting titanium drones into nuts and bolts.

We forsee you buying this game, enjoying it at first, getting frustrated at certain parts, then putting it on your shelf after you’re done and rarely playing it again.

But for the crimes of middling graphics and dull-as-dirt game play, we sentence Dredd vs. Death to eternal burial in the discount bin at Costco. Court adjourned.

Like the movie, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is quite an ambitious undertaking. Unlike the movie, it doesn’t consistently deliver the goods.

The basic game hasn’t changed from the “run, jiggle, shoot” style we know and love, ensuring Lara will be every bit the guilty pleasure she’s always been.

The ugly graphics make this feel more "On Her Majesty’s Secret Service" than "Goldfinger."

Problem is, it ain't nuthin' we ain't seen before. When not running from the cops a la "Driver," you're making deliveries like in "Crazy Taxi"—both of which would be a lot more fun if your rig wasn't slow and sluggish like Eminem with his medicine.

Sadly, the sloppy controls and graphics make the game about as fun as a blow to the brainpan with a spiked bat.

We're used to crappy stories. What we're not used to is disorienting camera angles and lousy controls that have the lithe, lean, fighting machine Nina plodding around like the bastard love child of Kirstie Alley and a three-legged Clydesdale.

Ingest evidence rather than confiscate it and you'll develop embarrassing addictions you can kick only via meter-driven mini-games, or you'll get busted in a random drug test.

Combo moves and minor upgrades notwithstanding, Konami has done little more than create a mediocre "Double Dragon" rip-off populated with epilepsy-triggering robots.

The only thing more painful than watching a rehashed movie sequel is, well, playing a videogame based on a rehashed sequel.

Though it’s sure to have Senate subcommittees soiling their Depends and declaring the end of Western civilization, jaded gamers will no doubt dig the surprisingly amusing vocal and visual gags that spice up what would otherwise be a moderately paced, story-driven shoot-em-up.

Problem is, it ain't nuthin' we ain't seen before. When not running from the cops a la "Driver," you're making deliveries like in "Crazy Taxi"-both of which would be a lot more fun if your rig wasn't slow and sluggish like Eminem with his medicine.

We forsee you buying this game, enjoying it at first, getting frustrated at certain parts, then putting it on your shelf after you’re done and rarely playing it again.

Ingest evidence rather than confiscate it and you’ll develop embarrassing addictions you can kick only via meter-driven mini-games, or you’ll get busted in a random drug test.

Sadly, the sloppy controls and graphics make the game about as fun as a blow to the brainpan with a spiked bat.

This multi-event crapfest manages to combine all the fun of a pipe-fitting seminar with the pain of slamming your hand in a car door.

Despite surprisingly disappointing graphics, RC Revenge Pro takes you back to grade school with more remote-controlled cars than a well-stocked Toys “R” Us.

Die-hard fans (all three of you) will be glad to know that the game religiously follows the flick; there’s no plot, plenty of bad acting, and loads of cheesy CGI zombies for you to Ginsu to bits.

Passing and shooting in these high-scoring battles is as easy as squeezing the trigger on an Uzi, but complicated button-mashing for trick moves, muddy graphics, and a schizophrenic soundtrack of Method Man, TLC, and Foo Fighters all draw red cards.

Like the movie, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is quite an ambitious undertaking. Unlike the movie, it doesn’t consistently deliver the goods.

(Like some supermodels), there isn’t much to it beyond its looks.

Pac’s newest adventure involves playing cheesy boards and minigames with his sappy friends (obviously his wife’s pals), who look like they hopped out of a Barney video.

But even the addition of Halle Berry’s slinky form and sultry voice can’t pull unpolished game play with lousy camera angles out of the litter box.

Too bad repetitive action, mediocre graphics, and a limited kraut’s-eye-view perspective make slaying Private Ryan and company as predictable as an episode of "Hogan’s Heroes."

But even the addition of Halle Berry’s slinky form and sultry voice can’t pull unpolished game play with lousy camera angles out of the litter box.

But even the addition of Halle Berry’s slinky form and sultry voice can’t pull unpolished game play with lousy camera angles out of the litter box.

You do get to take on all of the classic villains in Metropolis—Braniac 13 and Lex Luthor, among others—but not before fighting through a number of mind-numbing missions with unrecognizable characters.

Problem is, it ain't nuthin' we ain't seen before. When not running from the cops a la "Driver," you're making deliveries like in "Crazy Taxi"—both of which would be a lot more fun if your rig wasn't slow and sluggish like Eminem with his medicine.

There’s no ear biting in Tyson’s animated repertoire (damn!), but there’re plenty of other ways to rearrange your opponent’s face—even though you won’t recognize any of them.

Passing and shooting in these high-scoring battles is as easy as squeezing the trigger on an Uzi, but complicated button-mashing for trick moves, muddy graphics, and a schizophrenic soundtrack of Method Man, TLC, and Foo Fighters all draw red cards.

Yes, it’s half-amusing to see Marge do a 360 with her beehive do for, oh, about 10 seconds, but really, let’s just keep the skateboarding to experts like Bart and Tony Hawk.

Pathetically boring.

Pathetically boring.

This is not the kind of game you’ll enjoy slogging through on your own, but played with a group of other Simpsons fanatics it’s a pretty good time.

The crappy graphics and gameplay aren’t worth stomaching, especially for a PG-rated peep show.

There’s just no way to make Aquaman more exciting than beached jellyfish. It’s time to let the scaly superhero sleep with the fishes already.