Hey Poor Player's Scores

  • Games
For 1,734 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 12% same as the average critic
  • 39% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 74
Highest review score: 100 Hitman: World of Assassination
Lowest review score: 20 The Lord of the Rings - Gollum
Score distribution:
1734 game reviews
    • 73 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake lays the Spongebob charm on thick, the Bikini Bottomites and their worlds ripped right out of one of the many, many, many episodes we’ve come to know and love over the years. Although it has a lot of great ideas pulled from the vast Spongebob universe, there’s something just a little sticky about the way it all came together in the end. SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake is good, clean F.U.N., and as long as you don’t expect too much out of it, you’ll have a totally coral time.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Nitro Kid offers that slice of synthwave cyberpunk heaven in the form of a turn-based deckbuilding roguelike. It has a solid mechanic and balanced gameplay that proves addicting when you throw the amazing soundtrack into the fray. Although I wish there had been a little more in terms of a storyline — or even just backstory — that’s not a dealbreaker for an otherwise great game. If you’re looking for a fight with plenty of synthwave flair, Nitro Kid is ready to deal you in.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Rhythm Sprout is a seriously fresh serving of beats. It’s definitely recommended, on the understanding that you know what you’re in for. The music doesn’t stop often to rest, meaning neither will you, and while the gameplay seems barebones, it knows how to make itself just as involved as a more complex rhythm game. There’s absolutely something to simpler rhythm games as a fun romp for a couple minutes here and there, and I think that’s a precedent that was pushed well with Rhythm Sprout.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Unfortunately, Burrow of the Fallen Bear is just not a good game, bogged down by a poor translation, an uninspired story, flat characters, and clunky sex scenes. If you’re needing a furry and/or explicit visual novel to scratch any particular itch, you’re better off looking elsewhere.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    As Luminous Productions’ first project after being formed from the developers of Final Fantasy XV, Forspoken is a remarkable yet flawed experience. There’s so much potential here, with an outstanding magic parkour system and a beautiful open world. However, it’s clear that the ambition was a little too high for this studio, as there are just too many incomplete (but great) ideas at work here that just don’t come to fruition.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Potion Craft: Alchemist Simulator is hands down one of the cleverest games on a mechanics level. Players will truly feel like they are crafting brews while connecting to the magical whimsy of the medieval era. Although I wish I was able to get more involved in the world of Potion Craft: Alchemist Simulator, either through story or exploration, the mechanics alone kept me entertained for 40 hours so I can’t complain too much. Even if the rest of the game is a bit shallow, Potion Craft: Alchemist Simulator’s gameplay is something to write home about. Here’s to hoping the dev team can concoct more content in future updates.
    • 85 Metascore
    • 100 Critic Score
    A Space for the Unbound is Mojiken and Toge Productions at their best. If you weren’t paying attention to this powerhouse team yet, correct this mistake now with the literal masterpiece that is A Space for the Unbound. It proudly stands shoulder to shoulder with the likes of To the Moon and Rakuen with its impeccably unique flair, ready to laugh with players during the high moments and cry with them in its lows. If you have a fondness for emotional narrative-driven games and have been even remotely curious about A Space for the Unbound, don’t wait a moment longer and get this game (and some tissues).
    • 72 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    While Mahokenshi definitely reminds me of Castle Morihisa, its pacing and balance is a bit better than that unfortunate adventure. Keep in mind this is very much still a challenging and sometimes brutal game, and you’ll have to grind quite a bit to get through every mission. That said, it’s a game with a creative premise, attractive artwork, and many ways to strategize. If you’re at all a fan of deckbuilders and don’t mind some occasional difficulty spikes, I’d definitely check Mahokenshi out.
    • 85 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Most of Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth holds up exceptionally well, in fact. Even 23 years after its initial release, this is still an excellent game. Sure, there are some minor issues, like awkward platforming, that wouldn’t have been good 23 years ago either, but for the most part, they’re minor issues that don’t take away from a game with fascinating mechanics that are still unique after all these years. If you’re a fan of RPGs and haven’t played Valkyrie Profile, don’t wait 23 years as I did. Make sure to check it out.
    • 82 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Trombone Champ may present itself as a novelty title — a joke not meant to be taken seriously — but those who give it a chance will find a surprising amount of polish and sophistication. I never could have predicted that Trombone Champ would become my favorite rhythm/music game of 2022, and if you’re even remotely interested in the title, I’m confident it will be yours too.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Though I was hoping to start the new year on a high note, Wings of Bluestar just wasn’t up to snuff. It’s not a horrible game, but it’s incredibly mediocre, with bland design, poor writing, and generic boss battles. While it’s relatively affordable, it’s nevertheless very hard to recommend to hardcore shmup fans.
    • 90 Metascore
    • 100 Critic Score
    Even as it nears its fifteenth anniversary, Persona 4 Golden is still one of the best RPGs ever made and an absolute must-play for fans of the genre or really anyone who has spent all of these years wondering what the big deal is. This isn’t a case of having to choose style or substance. Persona 4 Golden has more of both than you can fit in a hollow bear suit. Don’t let it pass you by.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 100 Critic Score
    Carefully straddling the line between modern and classic Persona titles, Persona 3 Portable is a phenomenal title sporting an enchanting style all of its own and double the content of the original Persona 3. The argument between whether Persona 3 Portable or Persona 3 FES stands as the “ultimate Persona 3 title” is still something that goes on to this day, but Persona 3 Portable will always be the winner in my book.
    • 87 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    With fast loading times, an impressive 120 fps mode, and added immersive features, Monster Hunter Rise on PlayStation 5 is a must-play for any fans of the franchise and newcomers looking to get into the hobby of hunting monsters.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    The Plague Doctor of Wippra is clearly a bleak, gamified examination of a dark period in human history; what makes it bleaker is its illumination on just how little has changed. Despite our modern comforts and conveniences, human behavior under duress seems to remain constant. And in the midst of all these cascading, convoluted moving parts, The Plague Doctor of Wippra asks players to think carefully of their choices, knowing that sometimes, the best of two evils is the best one can do. If you’re seeking a short-lived point-and-click journey through time where the choices really, really matter, The Plague Doctor of Wippra is accepting patients.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Shantae and the Pirate’s Curse has refined the franchise the most and gave fans a lot to hope for and look forward to. While I can see an argument that Seven Sirens is the best game of the franchise, for me, that honor belongs to Pirate’s Curse. And this replay on the PlayStation 5 only served to crystalize that fact for me. So, if you haven’t tried it yet, give the best Shantae game a chance and discover why so many people love this underrated franchise.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Despite my issues with the game, I still feel that Grid Force: Mask of the Goddess is worth checking out. The only proviso is that you have to be willing to deal with a complex combat system that is often overly demanding. But if you’re open minded and don’t mind a little suffering, this is definitely a title worth investigating.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Justin Roiland’s stuttering, drunken humor pairs up surprisingly well with a cross between Metroid Prime and Ratchet and Clank. Sure, the story stays on the short side and some of the character writing winds up being hit-or-miss, but if you’re a fan of Roiland’s comic stylings and want to enjoy a playable Rick and Morty episode, you’ll get that and then some with High On Life. Even those who aren’t Roiland aficionados can still enjoy the vibrant planets that are a delight to explore and gameplay that stays fast and fluent.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    With a game like The Oregon Trail, there’s always the concern that it’s simply a cash-grab banking on nostalgia of Millennials and Gen Xers. I’m quite happy to report that isn’t the case here. While there’s clearly a lot of nostalgia to be found, this iteration of The Oregon Trail proudly stands on its own. With one foot in the past and one in the present, it brings together all the best aspects of the original, and adds modern flourishes to give us a near-perfect game. Add in infinite replayability, as well as several different play modes, and this game is an absolute must-have for anybody who grew up with the original.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Calling Melatonin a chillwave Rhythm Heaven is both accurate and not descriptive enough. Its structure is roughly the same, but its pastel palette, soothing soundtrack, and loose-yet-cohesive approach to storytelling give it its own unique flair. Melatonin may only be a 1 – 2 hour romp through dreamland, but if you really savor its playful art style, brain-melting music, and easily-mastered mechanics, it can quickly become a bedtime routine of its own. And, after popping some melatonin myself, a level or two of Melatonin before I snooze sounds lovely to me.
    • 90 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    I’ve played a lot of retro-inspired games this year, and Chained Echoes easily stands out as one of the best – and it’s not even particularly close. With gorgeous artwork, addicting mechanics, and a world that blends steampunk with high fantasy seamlessly, Chained Echoes is a loving homage to old-school RPGs while still managing to proudly blaze its own path. If you’re looking for a challenging (but not punishing) RPG with an engaging story, enjoyable characters, and mechanics that will keep you coming back for hours at a time, Chained Echoes is an absolute must.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    There are few things to complain about in Catacomb Kitties outside of what I’ve already iterated above. Really, the only other complaint I can think of is just a shortcoming of the genre itself: playthroughs are just a little too short and a little too repetitive to make you want to invest in more than a half-dozen playthroughs or so. Still, there’s a solid foundation for fun in Catacomb Kitties, with bite-sized runs that can be completed in a single sitting. The unique stats and abilities of each playable cat gives you at least enough replayability to spend more than just a couple hours on the game as well.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    I had really high hopes for Lone Ruin. And while it’s not a horrible game by any stretch, I felt it was really underwhelming. Not only does it lack any replay value, but the core loop features nearly identical stage layouts and a frustrating lack of clear audio cues for enemy attacks. While some may find something to enjoy in the survival mode, I think fans of the rogue genre will be left wanting much more.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    If you’re a fan of games like Shinobi, Hagane: The Final Conflict, or Ninja Gaiden, Vengeful Guardian: Moonrider is a must-play love letter to the ninja action games of the ’90s.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    That’s really the case with the entire Breakers Collection, though. It’s bare bones because there’s not a lot to the Breakers games. They’re mostly fine-fighting games with some balance issues, which stood out on the Neo Geo in the 90s but struggle to do so in 2023 on modern platforms. The new content helps but isn’t enough to make a collection that is barely a collection appealing. I’m glad to see them get a home release because I’m for keeping all games accessible, but they’re not titles I expect to return to regularly, and I expect most fighting game fans will feel the same.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    It’s been hard to hide my disappointment with The Callisto Protocol throughout this review. While the game has the same creative forces behind Dead Space, and many of the features are retconned into the game, it’s not quite lived up to my expectations. The game strikes me as a conglomerate of ideas, like a novel approach to dodging, a similar but different storyline, tough combat borrowed from challenging games like Dark Souls, packed into a beautifully presented game. But here’s the thing: all of these ideas sound great in isolation. But the execution here in The Callisto Protocol makes for an inferior gaming experience compared to other titles.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Despite a slow start and some persistent technical issues that are inexcusable, Syberia: The World Before is a fantastic narrative adventure that continues the series in spectacular fashion, and does Benoit Sokal’s legacy proud. It’s not clear where Syberia as a series goes from here now that the Sokal is sadly no longer around to steer the ship, but I have full faith after playing Syberia: The World Before that Microids is more than capable of continuing to deliver more incredible tales in this universe.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Despite presentation that leaves something to be desired, Marvel’s Midnight Suns packs a ton of interesting strategy into its adventure, and smart writing around the edges helps to offset a main story that feels quite generic. Midnight Suns might be a flawed game in some ways, but I also couldn’t put it down, and it’s the rare game that made me truly want to run around collecting everything. Anyone who loves strategy games or Marvel should absolutely check it out.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Perhaps it’s time I stopped rewarding 2K every year for simply putting out another game. While I still have fun with the same modes I’ve been playing for twenty years, I don’t need a new version of this game to do so, and neither do you. The core gameplay is still very good, albeit stuck several years in the past, but everything around it is awful. The modes I still enjoy feel like they’re buried further in the menus every year. It feels like the only way to enjoy NBA 2K23 in a nonexploitive way is to avoid all the parts of it that its creators want you to play. I don’t see this strange dynamic ending soon, so players will continue to have to decide if being the only basketball game around is enough reason to pick it up each year.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Even with flaws, and a few too many mechanics for me to truly get lost in, I had a surprising amount of fun with The Knight Witch. I wouldn’t have thought that a bullet hell SHMUP could fit so smoothly into a Metroidvania, but that aspect of the game worked for me. While its story and characters didn’t connect as strongly as I’d have liked, it has enough personality that players looking for an interesting take on the genre should consider it.

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