Hey Poor Player's Scores

  • Games
For 1,720 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 12% same as the average critic
  • 39% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 74
Highest review score: 100 The Talos Principle 2
Lowest review score: 20 The Lord of the Rings - Gollum
Score distribution:
1720 game reviews
    • 77 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    I admire Pearl Abyss’ quick response to some of Crimson Desert’s issues, and I think there’s a real chance that it will eventually feel decent to play. At the moment, though, it simply doesn’t, and even with updates, I have my doubts that it will ever give me a world that’s engaging for anything more than its impressive visuals. There’s a lot to do in Crimson Desert, but so little that I actually wanted to do.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Overall, I was left a bit perplexed by my time with Sense. I don’t regret playing it, but I also don’t know that I would go out of my way to play it again. With the story largely told through journal entries and letters that you pick up along the way, and with so many references to folklore I simply had no knowledge of, I was left without a particularly satisfying conclusion.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    I honestly can’t decide if Happy’s Humble Burger Farm is a good or bad game. There are parts of it that I thoroughly loved, like the creepy storyline, the gritty, dated aesthetics that really immersed you in the game’s world, and the jump scares that got me every time. But those controls are just atrocious, hindering the game to the point it felt nearly unplayable at times. There are a lot of awesome, interesting, and unique ideas here, but unfortunately the execution just wasn’t there.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    One thing I am certain about is that Wandering Trails is a peaceful nature game that unfortunately falls a little short. Some may find this experience soothing; others will suffer. I wanted to enjoy this supposedly relaxing romp, but my time frantically sprinting in circles at dead of night to a cacophony of howling wolves and hooting owls reminded me more of Blair Witch than Eastshade. I cannot recommend this if you have an anxiety disorder or have never played a walking simulator before. Everyone else should be fine though.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    While I honestly enjoyed some of my time Shadow of the Orient, I feel like it was the wrong genre. There’s so much effort put into making expansive levels that I feel this would have worked better as a small Metroidvania than a lackluster platformer. It’s clear Spacelab Games put a lot of time into the experience, and I strongly suspect they might have some future great game in them. As for this one, fans of retro might enjoy it, but probably not many others.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    I really wanted to love Gal Guardians: Servants of the Dark. I kept giving it more and more time to prove itself and get past the sophomoric slump I kept finding myself in. But alas, this is not the sequel I was hoping for or expecting after Gal Guardians: Demon Purge. This would be one thing from some new upstart developer, but it’s truly surprising and disappointing from the talented folks at Inti Creates. That said, if you can tolerate bad platforming, poorly managed mechanics, and frustrating balance, then you might still find something to love here. For everyone else, this isn’t the adventure for you.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    I can’t hide my disappointment with The Chant. I had a real hankering for a supernatural game this year, after getting some hands-on time at Gamescom. Instead, I’ve been left with questions about what this game could have been. It could’ve usurped Until Dawn, one of the best recent examples of a supernatural horror game, but with a more intriguing and deeper plot. It could’ve been a new fascinating way to approach and manage combat situations with three meters that operate together in harmony, giving you complex gameplay decisions to tackle alongside challenging combat. It could’ve been a new campy horror game, a guilty pleasure, similar to some of those dreadful TV shows I named at the start. But unfortunately, it’s neither of these things. Instead, you’re left with a story that feels incomplete and lacking depth. You’re left with combat that lacks any sort of meaningful challenge. And ultimately, you’ll be left like me: very, very salty.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Everything about Space Jam: A New Legacy – The Game feels as cheap as its price. What’s here isn’t really bad, but it isn’t good either, and it’s over before you know it. If you’re desperate for something to play and need to kill a half-hour, you can do worse. Free is definitely a competitive enough price. Otherwise, if there’s anything in your library or on Game Pass for subscribers that you’ve been meaning to get to, you’ll do a lot better to spend your time playing that.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    On the whole, I do think Varlet is worthy of a playthrough for genre die-hards, but it would be best experienced having been snapped up at a heavy discount, which I have very little doubt won’t be far away.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    I had really high hopes for Lone Ruin. And while it’s not a horrible game by any stretch, I felt it was really underwhelming. Not only does it lack any replay value, but the core loop features nearly identical stage layouts and a frustrating lack of clear audio cues for enemy attacks. While some may find something to enjoy in the survival mode, I think fans of the rogue genre will be left wanting much more.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    There’s genuine fun to be had with Jurassic World Evolution 2. Chaos mode and the sandbox give you a lot of options to really build the park of your dreams. When even the game’s best modes are fairly flawed, though, it becomes hard to recommend all, but the biggest Jurassic Park fans dig into this one. Players who can play on PC will almost certainly find a game that controls better, but while that’s an issue, it isn’t the only problem here. Sadly, a different control scheme isn’t going to solve Jurassic World Evolution 2’s most significant issues.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    White Day 2: The Flower That Tells Lies is far from being the worst horror game I’ve played. But it’s nowhere near the best. Offering little more than truncated stories within self-contained chapters and gameplay mechanics that feel inferior to those within its predecessor, White Day 2: The Flower That Tells Lies – Complete Edition is a disappointing sequel for those of us who have spent years waiting for a White Day sequel.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Those who have a sense of nostalgia for old-school, turn-based strategy games will likely be able to find some fun with The Dragoness. Despite a lack of personality, bland combat, and a sense of repetition that sets in quickly, something at the core of the game simply works. There are so many other options available to players that offer more, though, that it’s hard to recommend this one to all but the most dedicated devotees of the genre.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Sheltered 2 is easily one of the most complicated games I’ve ever played. It’s fun if you liked the original Sheltered, or Fallout Shelter, and in many ways, it’s an upgrade of those apocalypse bunker sims. The issue, however, is that despite all of the game’s improvements and complexities, its overambition is also its biggest downfall. The core mechanics of its basic survival necessities of maintaining food and water are at the moment glitched, and any progress is meaningless because it will inevitably lead to a time-wasted end where resources inevitably run out two weeks in. As of right now, there are no ways of replenishing water save for bartering (if you’re lucky enough to find a faction with spare water), and so because of this, I can’t give this broken game a positive review. With some updates to fix the bugs and polish off the post-apocalyptic dirt from this potential jewel, Sheltered 2 might be able to fulfil its lofty ambitions.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Necromunda: Hired Gun had the potential to be a great little romp into the delightfully dreary world of Warhammer 40k, but it missed the mark on getting there. If you really, really like Warhammer and want to scoop up every little piece of lore that you can, then there are worse things that you can buy than this. Unfortunately, unless the developers decide to dedicate some time to get things running properly, Hired Gun isn’t going anywhere good any time soon.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    The ideal player for A Tale of Synapse: The Chaos Theories is one with a controller, a fervent love of niche concepts, and a godly amount of patience. I’d even go as far as to say being fluent in French would likely benefit the player as well, so they may enjoy the title in its original language in an effort to bypass the clunky English translation. The background art is surely beautiful, the puzzles themselves are decent, and the idea is certainly interesting, but, as the adage goes, it’s not about the idea but the execution of the idea. That $17.99 can be better spent elsewhere.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    It’s hard to see players who want an arcade experience enjoying the rigidity of Hot Lap Racing’srules, yet I can’t see those looking for a more sim experience enjoying its somewhat floaty controls and lack of any real depth. Throw in performance issues, and I have a hard time recommending Hot Lap Racing to anyone. It’s perfectly playable, and once you get used to it, you can find fun at times, but there are simply better options no matter which side of the sim or arcade racing game divide you prefer.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Mario Golf: Super Rush isn’t an unplayable game. The core golf is actually quite good, despite some changes, which will have a mixed reception from players. Almost everything around it, however, is either poorly thought out, lacking any personality, or lacking in content. Perhaps down the line, more content will fill it out enough that you can have fun playing only the parts which work, but Camelot has a lot of work to do to get this one to par.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Despite the clear effort that went into build diversity and satisfying naval combat, Skull and Bones’s core gameplay loops simply aren’t enough to stop this ship from sinking. Mindless grinds, tedious busywork, and a complete lack of any meaningful gameplay hooks outside of the core combat result in an experience that feels incomplete despite the plethora of Ubisoft checklists that there is to work through in your time at sea. If you’re someone who enjoys tinkering with builds and doesn’t mind grinding for materials in a constant pursuit of that next upgrade for hours on end, then you may find something to like here. Otherwise, this is a voyage into tedium-induced insanity that you can definitely afford to miss.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Zombie Rollerz: Pinball Heroes is not a game I can really recommend. Whether you’re a fan of rogue-lites or pinball games, there are numerous options out there that will provide vastly better experiences for your money. Whilst it does have an admittedly interesting concept, a complete lack of balance and poor optimization completely squanders any potential this unique hook might hold.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Modern Warfare 3 should not exist in its current form. This world, these characters, and modes such as zombies deserved better, especially after Modern Warfare 1 and 2 laid the groundwork for a spectacular third entry with two carefully crafted reboots. If you’re purely in it for the multiplayer, then there may just be enough here in the nostalgia of revisiting old maps to warrant a purchase, but that is the only grounds on which Modern Warfare 3 might prove an acceptable product. For anyone looking for their next action-packed campaign fix or hoping to see the zombies mode return to its former glories, you should absolutely avoid this year’s entry.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Kingdom of Arcadia unfortunately does little to elevate itself above the scores of other action platforming games just like it. It fails to take advantage of its setting, which could have resulted in a unique experience or at least something a little less predictable. It’s mildly amusing at best but derivative of everything that has come before it.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    I can usually find something to enjoy in most any SHMUP, but outside of a killer soundtrack, there wasn’t much that redeemed Twin Cobra for me. The basics all more or less work, it isn’t broken, and there are certainly worse games out there, but there’s nothing it does particularly well, and the slow speed of your ship gets old very quickly, as do the bland looking levels. There are a couple of gems in this set of Toaplan shooters Bitwave Games are releasing today, but Twin Cobra simply isn’t one of them.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    At times the story of Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo can be interesting, but it never fully comes together. Succeeding neither as an homage to a great director’s work or on its own terms, it might be better served if it didn’t have the expectations its name provides, but that wouldn’t make it a great game. There are simply better adventure games more worth your time available this year.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    I have similar sentiments when looking at Sword and Fairy Inn 2 as a whole – inoffensive yet uninspired and, unfortunately, boring. From the sloppy localization to the almost complete lack of direct player input that players have come to expect in things such as farming and cooking, it feels a little soulless. There is some satisfaction to be found in watching your tiny business grow into something more substantial, but the fact that you never really do anything to facilitate that growth beyond clicking through menus makes it all feel a touch impersonal. What’s more, is that the Switch is a console already drowning in quality cozy games that already let you live out the virtual life of your dreams, and on that basis alone, Sword and Fairy Inn 2 is a difficult product to recommend.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    If Postal 4: No Regerts was released 15 years ago it would just be buggy, ugly and dumb. Since it’s released today, it’s also very dated in its lame scatological humor. With an endless focus on making you do tedious errands, it can take a while before you get to the actual homicidal mania, and when you do, it’s a janky, repetitive letdown. Unless you’re the world’s biggest fan of poop and penis jokes, Postal 4: No Regerts is as much fun as watching someone laugh at their own farts.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Panorama Cotton was an incredibly impressive title in 1994, and nobody can take that away from it. Judged in 2021, though, there’s little reason for anyone to play it. It simply doesn’t hold up against similar titles. Clear and colorful visuals and competent shooting mean it isn’t exactly a chore, but nothing about it stands out today. This is a prime example of how some games are best left in the past.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    It never feels good giving a negative review. I sat on this for a full day, agonizing over scoring such a beautiful game poorly. But what other choice do I have when I had to restart multiple times for even a shimmer of hope to finish what I started? It’s possible Flow Weaver isn’t optimized for the Oculus Rift S despite what the website states, so if you have an Oculus Quest or Oculus Quest 2, perhaps you won’t experience the bugs I did. I do see on the game’s Oculus page that the dev team is working hard at tackling bugs, so if this even remotely interests you (which, for real guys, it has potential), keep an eye on it and check back in a month or two. But as it stands, I regrettably cannot recommend Flow Weaver in its current state.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    From Blair Witch: VR Edition’s unsatisfying attempts at terror to forgettable characters and absolutely poor graphics, you have plenty of reason to skip this hike through the woods. Throw in some game-breaking bugs and glitches to an already lacking experience, and your $29.99 is better spent elsewhere. Let this be a testament that horror games don’t always need a VR port to continue to be scary.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    There are faint glimpses at what could have been in the ship combat sections and the breezy narrative, and the short runtime does help mask some of the frustrations that plague the experience, but on the whole, it’s difficult to argue that Captain Blood wouldn’t have been better left in the depths it was salvaged from.

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