Hey Poor Player's Scores

  • Games
For 1,720 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 12% same as the average critic
  • 39% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 74
Highest review score: 100 The Talos Principle 2
Lowest review score: 20 The Lord of the Rings - Gollum
Score distribution:
1720 game reviews
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Spacewing War is a straightforward shmup in a crowded genre. Its Game Boy aesthetic is pleasant, it controls well, and it provides a decent challenge. It just doesn’t have that spark to set it apart from its brethren. It needs a shot of adrenaline and a confidence boost. Still, it’s not a bad way to spend an afternoon if you need to scratch that shmup itch.
    • tbd Metascore
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    Mozart Requiem is not for everyone; in fact, it’s really only for people who would consider themselves fans of Mozart or janky 2000s point and clicks. There’s some charm in terms of unique musical puzzles and setting, surely, but the execution leaves much to be desired. I don’t regret buying a physical copy for the Switch at full price — a cart destined to sit in its cellophane for time immemorial — but that doesn’t mean I’m not disappointed. Even though I have some faith the dev team will fix any reported bugs, they can’t fix a woefully outdated experience. Dona eis requiem, amen.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Hanako: Honor & Blade has some interesting ideas, and the story behind its creation is wonderful. I genuinely like some of the choices the development team made, and I had fun at times. The core of the game, however, needs a lot of work. With poor balance, combat lacking any weight, and matches mostly featuring terrible AI opponents, there’s much the developer needs to do to make this one worth your time. If you get together with some friends and all pick it up, you might get a few entertaining afternoons out of it, but unless the development team keeps working to improve things, don’t expect much more.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Despite my many gripes, I think there is still an audience out there for Curse of the Sea Rats. Sure, it’s packed to the rafters with frustrating design choices that should have been made to walk the plank, but it’s also a title that has clearly had a ton of love and passion poured into its development. That I felt compelled to stick with Curse of the Sea Rats despite the uneven gameplay is a testament to the art direction and light-hearted narrative, both of which instantly brought me back to a happy place; sitting in front of the TV on a Saturday morning, feasting on whatever sugar-laced cereal was trendy at the time, all while enjoying my favorite cartoons. While it’s not an easy sell due to its gameplay fumbles, I do still think Curse of the Sea Rats is worth a playthrough for anyone who can look past its flaws and focus on the product as a whole, which ends up being a serviceable videogame, elevated greatly by a wonderful sense of style and charm.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Despite its sweet 16-bit presentation and gruesome arcade-inspired gameplay, RetroRealms: Halloween isn’t quite the treat fans of the franchise deserve. If it featured twice the stages it offers and some more compelling enemies to eviscerate, it’d be a lot easier to recommend. Unfortunately, with its unexciting extras and a reliance on cheap gimmicks to pad out its meager hour-long running time, RetroRealms: Halloween is a fleeting experience that fails to justify the price of admission.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    The Pale Reach is a hard sell despite its minor price tag. The perils and tranquilities of the icefields, the new threat of the Urghal, and new fishes, diaries, and characters spruce up this expansion. However, The Pale Reach fails to provide more than just a passing journey through a glacial uncharted region due to its sparse one-hour length and lack of exciting new features. If you want more DREDGE, this is for you, but if not, this expansion won’t win you over as it’s too slight to engage over the long haul.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    The game itself is an incredible homage to classic horror games with just the right amount of modern-day infusion to allow things to run smoothly (when they are running, that is). Bug-free, Song of Horror is scary for all of the right reasons and is absolutely worth checking out. However, in its current state, I’m not so sure that it’s scaring players in the way that it intends to. At least the PC version supposedly works just fine!
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Tiger-Heli is a perfectly fine shooter. It controls well and has a solid enough loop. While it might have been revolutionary and offered something truly new back in 1985 though, that’s simply not the case in 2024. It’s short and doesn’t do anything that a million games in the genre haven’t done better in the years since. This is the sort of game that’s great to see included in a collection, so its historical impact isn’t forgotten, but it is hard to justify as a solo release. You can buy the latest set of Toaplan releases in a bundle, and if you do, give Tiger-Heli at least a quick play, if only for a glimpse of how far the genre has come from even a solid game of its era. As a standalone release, though, there are simply far better options.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Restless Soul looks great and can be genuinely funny, at least in small doses. Its various parts aren’t badly designed, they just don’t fit together well, and its insistence on never letting up on the humor prevents any chance of it connecting with players on anything but a surface level. If this style of humor is up your alley, you could have a fun, if forgettable, weekend with it, but everyone else should stay away.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    I really was hoping I’d love Jack Axe. And while it’s still a good game, the issues I mentioned earlier held it back substantially. That said, if you’re up for a sometimes unfair challenge, the game does let you play with up to 3 friends. Honestly, what Jack Axe does right, it does quite well, glitches and all. Here’s hoping the next game from Keybol Games is a bit more polished and balanced out of the gate. Because I think there’s the potential for something really special next time around.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    It feels like at some point in development Nao Games decided that Ninja or Die needed more. More to do, more complexity, more than the simple gameplay which makes up its core. That’s a shame because the core of Ninja or Die is its biggest strength, at least when it works. It just needs to work more consistently. There’s definite potential in its core, and I’d be curious to check out an update or follow-up to see if that core could be refined, but the game as it exists today is hard to recommend as more than a curiosity.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    MX vs. ATV Legends is the very definition of a “mixed-bag.” On one hand, it can be a genuinely thrilling racer, especially when you’re throwing an MX bike over insane jumps and barreling around corners at breakneck speed. It’s a pity that level of fun doesn’t carry over to the other disciplines, though, and it’s this discrepancy between the enjoyment on offer in each career track that makes MX vs. ATV Legends a bit of a hard sell at the moment. That’s not to say it should be avoided at all costs, but it may be worth waiting to see what’s down the road in terms of optimization and balance, as with a few tweaks to the physics and performance, this could turn out to be a much more well-rounded package.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Yes, A Wonderful Life has a beautiful and welcoming heart and presence, and the remake does do a serviceable job of updating a two-decade-old game for modern standards, and it can be a worthwhile and relaxing time if you aren’t so demanding for change. But there’s so much tedium to endure it’s hard to remain interested, especially when there are far more inviting alternatives out there.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Saint Kotar tells a compelling story that should satisfy horror fans, and there are moments that are genuinely unsettling. Unfortunately, that’s not enough to save Saint Kotar from its shortcomings. The makings of a really great game are present, but it gets in its own way too much. Frustratingly, Saint Kotar’s biggest offender and what holds it back is its own clumsiness, in its execution, characters, performances, and telegraphed final twist.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Staxel exemplifies the old saying, “jack of all trades, master of none.” With the stellar competition on offer, a game really needs to excel these days to make an impact in what is becoming a very crowded genre. Unfortunately, Staxel, with its frustrating systems and the uninteresting cast, makes it hard to want to stick around and enjoy the variety of gameplay loops on offer here, and it’s difficult to see anybody but the most dedicated fans of the genre feeling any different.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    While the minigames in Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour are the highlight of the experience and do offer some brief fun, the rest of this package too often feels like busywork to give it a strong recommendation. It’s certainly a relatively cheap entry point, and in a vacuum, there’s enough content here to be worth the cost. If you really need to be convinced of the Switch 2’s unique features, it may even be worth your time. In an age where there are hundreds of excellent games available on the system at this same price due to backwards compatibility, however, it becomes harder to recommend picking this one up for most players.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    It isn’t really very often that I’m so negative about a game, but Neptunia Virtual Stars does so many things wrong that I just couldn’t ignore it. Normally, this would be the part where I would say, “only get this game if you’re a fan of the series,” but I’d be wary even then. As little as I’ve talked about it within this review, this game is obviously little more than an attempt to pander to the Vtuber fandom. I don’t say that with any disrespect—if you like Vtubers, then more power to you. But, Idea Factory, next time you make some sort of crossover titles, keep in mind that you’re capable of making quality crossovers—like Superdimension Neptunia VS Sega Hard Girls—and maybe don’t try to patch up a lack of content by slapping Vtubers everywhere like they’re bandages.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    There’s still a lot of good basketball in NBA 2K24 but it mostly feels buried in modes the developers are trying hard to keep new players from discovering. The series’ formerly rock-solid gameplay foundation feels like it’s slowly slipping away as well. Minor improvements around the edges don’t offset this slippage and the series’ continued descent into being nearly unplayable without spending a fortune on microtransactions.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Ten years ago, I’d have been eager to play a game like Hauma – A Detective Noir Story. With few new options to explore a genre I loved, I was eager for anything that even had a scrap of quality, and while its story and characters aren’t particularly strong and its gameplay has issues, a great art style, and solid voice acting keep things relatively enjoyable. There’s nothing truly wrong with any major aspect of Hauma. The issue is that most aspects of the game don’t do much that’s all that right either. Genre fans will find a game that is perfectly playable but which most will forget as soon as they’re done with it. Hauma – A Detective Noir Story is a prime example of why not every mystery needs to be solved.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Biomotor Unitron is a competent dungeon crawler and mech-building RPG. Little about it is bad, but little is interesting, and it’s very much a game of its time. The biggest issue with recommending it today is that the Switch in 2022 is not the Neo Geo Pocket Color in 1999. That system desperately needed a competent RPG, and Biomotor Unitron was able to fill that hole. The Switch doesn’t need that, though. Between classic releases and new titles, it has one of the strongest RPG lineups any system has ever seen. In that context, it’s hard to recommend it to many players today.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Slap Fight has some interesting ideas with its ship, which gets bigger as you grow stronger, and it’s more complex than average for the time power-up system, which gives you an extra layer to manage. It also has a great look, which stands out from other games in the genre. I just wish that the actual gameplay felt better. With a rather slow pace and a soundtrack that did little to engage me, Slap Fight’s interesting ideas never fully come together into a satisfying package.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    There are beautiful moments in After Us worth seeing, but they’re buried in poorly directed levels featuring merely adequate gameplay. There’s not enough to consistently grab onto here to really hook most players. After Us has a lot in common with Piccolo Studios’ last narrative platformer but ultimately doesn’t offer the charm or consistently moving story that made that game so memorable.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    As far as rail shooters go, Operation Wolf: First Mission VR is fun but forgettable. Developer VIRTUALLYZ Gaming undoubtedly deserves credit for capturing the feel and flow of the classic shooter series, but tedious boss battles, occasionally cumbersome controls, and an overall lack of polish keep it from ever reaching its full potential. If you’re a die-hard veteran of the series looking to scratch your itchy trigger finger, you’ll probably find a few hours’ worth of enjoyment here, but new recruits will likely want to wait for a sale before enlisting.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    I still maintain Rogue Explorer could have been a great game. Honestly, if it was less focused on bland Roguelike elements and instead was reimagined as a more robust Metroidvania, I think this could have been awesome. Sadly, as is, it’s pretty hard to recommend to most gamers. But if you enjoy simple, retro-styled games and want something affordable, you might want to pick this up.
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    • 50 Critic Score
    At the end of my hauntingly simple mission, I really wanted to walk out liking SENSEs: Midnightmore than I did. There’s a great aesthetic, cool ideas, and some real potential with the fixed camera angles, but it’s all buried by bad stealth mechanics, a puddle-deep story, and horror disarming bugs and hiccups.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Relicta has too much gone wrong for it almost immediately into the game. What was great about Portal was that the game relished its simplicity and as a result, was able to be something surprisingly more, even game of the year worthy. Relicta doesn’t feel like that. With a plodding plot you have to trudge through, puzzles that are fun yet flawed, and characters whose motivations seem few and far between beyond finding ways to slip in a swear word, the game seems to be trying too hard to be deeper than what it needed to be. Though the puzzle aspect is incredibly challenging, beyond that, there really wasn’t much to enjoy about this game.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    I love the way Recompile looks, and a Metroidvania with this much freedom could definitely work. To do so however, it would need to clean the world design up enough that you can tell where you’re going. A tighter jump or more forgiving platforms would go a long way as well. As is, far too much progress in Recompile feels like it comes down to luck and repetition rather than skill. Game Pass subscribers who love the look may want to give this one a chance, but most players will quickly want to eject from this drive.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Nothing to Remember had a solid vision and the bones of something great, but nothing really came together to make a memorable experience. The immersion factor wasn’t there, the story moves along entirely too slowly, and there’s little focus in anything that would have helped keep players invested. Nothing to Remember genuinely looks good, but its well-designed façade hides an unnecessarily convoluted method of storytelling devoid of any handholds that would allow players to get a good grasp on anything. What a shame, considering this genre is still relatively unexplored, that an otherwise promising entry is such a forgettable letdown.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    For everything that goes wrong for it I will admit that there is a lot of promise in The Uncertain: Light At The End if it actually worked right. The frustrations between the game-breaking mechanics and inconsistent saves make it borderline unplayable. But if that could be fixed and optimized, the story might feel more compelling. Especially if they added better facial work into the characters. I will say that the beautiful pixelated backdrops and set pieces are the best things about this game, but with a couple of big improvements, the whole experience might feel salvageable too.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    That’s really the case with the entire Breakers Collection, though. It’s bare bones because there’s not a lot to the Breakers games. They’re mostly fine-fighting games with some balance issues, which stood out on the Neo Geo in the 90s but struggle to do so in 2023 on modern platforms. The new content helps but isn’t enough to make a collection that is barely a collection appealing. I’m glad to see them get a home release because I’m for keeping all games accessible, but they’re not titles I expect to return to regularly, and I expect most fighting game fans will feel the same.

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