The inferior prequel to the outstanding "No One Lives Forever" series, having none of the charm, humor, or creative gameplay of the other games under the NOLF umbrella.

It's vexing to play a meticulously crafted and pretty 3D platformer when it's devoid of fun. [Apr 2003, p.71]

You might even turn a blind eye to some of the dull, repetitive levels because they don't last too long. But can you forgive the control set that has you shooting your nozzle with R1 while aiming with the right stick?

With so much to see and kill in the game, it's heartbreaking that the camera is so totally useless. [Nov 2003, p.89]

The game feels oddly piecemeal: From its bland anime hero on a quest to collect "data chips" to its "downloadable" special abilities, Virtua Quest seems more like a Mega Man Battle Network game than a VF title.

A poor camera system forces players to constantly readjust their view, which is annoying, certainly, but becomes seriously problematic later in the game. [June 2003, p.69]

Unlike "GTA's" open-ended gameplay, DRIV3R is both linear and confined. [Sept 2004, p.83]

It's vexing to play a meticulously crafted and pretty 3D platformer when it's devoid of fun. [Apr 2003, p.71]

A root canal, a disfiguring car accident, a "Suddenly Susan" marathon - these are things slightly less amusing than Freaky Flyers. [Oct 2003, p.72]

If you dig its goofy sense of humor, or if you're a fan of previous Worms games, you might find something to like once you get past the 3D-induced flaws.

The controls are where the game falls apart: Movement is imprecise, with every jump a disaster waiting to happen; targeting an enemy with any degree of accuracy is simply impossible. [June 2004, p.81]

Bruised offers a motley band of pugilists (a pry Irishman, a fat convict, etc.) and the opportunity to win every brawl by randomly jamming on buttons. [Apr 2003, p.72]

Spartan in its design and curiously devoid of such necessities as customizable bikes or the option to change the controller configurations, Superstar can barely keep pace with the middle of the pack. [Sept 2003, p.67]

You'll be on the edge after the first instances of enemy ambushes, but near the end of the game, that effect will wear off, and the initial tension will eventually turn into boredom and frustration with each new encounter. [Oct 2004, p.116]

Bruised offers a motley band of pugilists (a pry Irishman, a fat convict, etc.) and the opportunity to win every brawl by randomly jamming on buttons. [Apr 2003, p.72]

Overly generic... This game has been made before, and its has been made better. [July 2003, p.71]

Snide voice acting turns cutesy bit players Globox and Murfy into electronic annoyances, and Hoodlum Havoc revels in its lame humor. [Apr 2003, p.68]

But it's been streamlined much too much—redefined as absolutely average.

The short of it is -- you've played it before. N-d of story. [Mar 2003, p.72]

Without the cel-shaded aesthetic to bolster what's an otherwise mediocre shooter, even those seeking simply to relive their glory days of after-school anime and protoculture will find this sorely disappointing.

A decidedly by-the-numbers movie tie-in. [July 2004, p.85]

Snide voice acting turns cutesy bit players Globox and Murfy into electronic annoyances, and Hoodlum Havoc revels in its lame humor. [Apr 2003, p.68]

Little more than an exercise in monotony. [Sept 2003, p.77]

Fever feels like some shareware game you could download for free on a PC. [Sept 2004, p.92]

There are no more than a handful of truly danceable tracks. The rest are either slow, boring, or both. [Jan 2004, p.64]

The gameplay is still plagued with glitches and flaws. [Dec 2003, p.82]

But what holds Fire Warrior back is some rather uninspiring gameplay. You play the entire game as a single lowly Tau warrior and must fight your way through legions of increasingly difficult enemies. Pretty standard stuff.

Snide voice acting turns cutesy bit players Globox and Murfy into electronic annoyances, and Hoodlum Havoc revels in its lame humor. [Apr 2003, p.68]

99.99 percent of us should be completely befuddled by this incomprehensible "game" of a day-planner simulator. [Nov 2003, p.80]

It's vexing to play a meticulously crafted and pretty 3D platformer when it's devoid of fun. [Apr 2003, p.71]

Despite the evolution of the UFC itself, the series has gone absolutely nowhere. [July 2004, p.92]

A highly mediocre experience.

Competing and breaking records proves to be the main source of excitement, but wearing out your fingers gets old fast. [Sept 2004, p.82]

If you dig its goofy sense of humor, or if you're a fan of previous Worms games, you might find something to like once you get past the 3D-induced flaws. [Apr 2004, p.93]

At times it's great, at other times, it's buggy and unfinished. What a waste. Condition Zero does not do the Counter-Strike name proud. [Mar 2004, p.90]

A monumental bore. [Nov 2004, p.130]

Between the hostile camera system (which routinely obscures enemies), the dull pacing of the levels, and the repetitive combat, it loses something big. [Dec 2003, p.86]

The slow tracks still outnumber the fast ones; here's hoping the downloadable packages include a few more peppy songs. [Dec 2004, p.132]

Controlling Lara is like a dream - that one where you simply can't get to where you want to go fast enough, no matter what you try. [Sept 2003, p.74]

Not funny enough to make you want to endure an uncooperative camera, a choppy framerate, ill-conceived jumping puzzles, terrible aim in the shooting levels, and poor collision detection. [Oct 2003, p.70]

The principal function of moving around is a chore and, combined with the overly fancy (and illegible) heads-up display, makes completing even the simplest missions more irritating than gratifying. [Apr 2003, p.68]

Boring and repetitive... The best part of the game is when Vanessa flaunts her futuristic T&A as the credits roll. That's right, it's more fun than playing the game. [Oct 2003, p.73]

A rousing, gravelly, NFL Films-style introduction immediately gives way to slippery, sloppy, and outdated PS2 football. [Oct 2003, p.69]

Bomb-collection out the wazoo, a grim but bland story line, and everything old packaged as if it were new. [June 2003, p.75]

As passive entertainment, ETM isn't bad...As interactive entertainment (as a game, that is), this Matrix is quite simply spectacularly average. [Aug 2003, p.76]

Fails at almost every level. The framerate shudders like a dying horse. [June 2004, p.86]

While DBS2 does an admirable job of capturing the platform jumping and heated brawling of Nintendo's more famous franchise, the game still falls flat. [Oct 2003, p.80]

It's technically competent, but Crash NKR does not offer a gaming experience anyone would call fun. [Jan 2004, p.56]

The only thing unreal that awakened while playing this game was the uncontrollable urge to vomit. [May 2004, p.80]

Factor in the lack of two-player action and all that's left is a tepid experience.

Misses on just about every cylinder. [May 2003, p.71]

It's far too contrived and boring to titillate. [Feb 2005, p.112]

"Fu-Ma" (the included game) is both useless and boring. It's blurry graphics and awkward control (in an RPG?!) provide a sickening surety that no matter how much time you spend in design, the final result won't be worth playing. [Feb 2004, p.88]

Though it features a few original ideas, its execution is lackluster and uninspired compated to its competition. [Oct 2004, p.112]

Unresponsive controls, repetitive scenario design, and inconsistent A.I. [Oct 2003, p.74]

So the pretty cool quests and diplomacy are sacked by sad combat that makes you frustrated and impatient. [Nov 2003, p.80]

The biggest problem is pacing. Simply put, Headhunter: Redemption is monotonous and dull. [Nov 2004, p.124]

Looks like it should be a fun game, but when you spend some time with it, it makes you want to chew your arm off. [Oct 2003, p.66]

Factor in the lack of two-player action and all that's left is a tepid experience. [Feb 2004, p.91]

Physics don't play a big part in the proceedings; it's possible to ride a character full-speed into a wall, without any ill effects. [Feb 2003, p.72]

These ladies are hamstrung by weak animation, dinner-theater accents, and brain-dead A.I., and you can't appreciate their asses - uh, assets thorugh the long-range camera or motion-blurred replays. [Sept 2003, p.69]

There's also a full set of uninteresting urban ethnic stereotypes rendered in starkly dated graphics and loudmouth fake gangsta sound bites. [Mar 2004, p.85]

A half-assed first try. Fight Club falls flat. [Jan 2005, p.100]

Physics don't play a big part in the proceedings; it's possible to ride a character full-speed into a wall, without any ill effects. [Feb 2003, p.72]

But, as usually happens when you try to put too many spices in your gumbo, the whole thing would up tasting like an armpit. [June 2004, p.91]

PT is not worth your time or money. Almost every aspect of the game feels rushed. [June 2004, p.91]

A crappy lock-on system snaps the Terminator's weapon right to a target, oftentimes one that's right underneath a grate and thus untouchable, all the while ignoring a more obvious threat.

Adding to the pain are the annoying escort and defense missions, the meaningless story line, and throwaway two-player modes. This is the rare sequel that gets it all wrong.

The graphics are horribly bland, the freeways never end, and apparently all of Tokyo's traffic is represented by a single yellow van. [Feb 2004, p.91]

It's a dull action-heavy first-person shooter emphasizing run-and-gun play rather than tactical warfare - with some noticeable slowdown when enemies and friendlies clog the screen. [Aug 2004, p.96]

The upside is that various movie stills and comic art are unlockable secrets. Big whoop. [Mar 2003, p.72]

If you're looking for a faithful and compelling GTA adventure, you'll likely be disappointed. [Feb 2005, p.84]

A hateful creation, demanding more attention than a sugar-buzzed toddler and never showing you what you need to see, including anyone who might be shooting holes in your stomach.

If hauling junk from A to B holds any sort of appeal, it withers in record time. [Aug 2003, p.72]

Say it with us: Poorly implemented gimmicks do not make for entertaining games. [July 2004, p.89]

Surma's camera is a hateful creation, demanding more attention than a sugar-buzzed toddler and never showing you what you need to see, including anyone who might be shooting holes in your stomach. [Feb 2004, p.86]

Under normal circumstances, this would be just tedious, but combined with endless deadite enemies and little in the way of ammunition and health packs, it's a sermon on frustration. [July 2003, p.79]

Physics don't play a big part in the proceedings; it's possible to ride a character full-speed into a wall, without any ill effects. [Feb 2003, p.72]

A "Metroid Prime" wannabe that fails on almost every level. [Sept 2003, p.76]

A hateful creation, demanding more attention than a sugar-buzzed toddler and never showing you what you need to see, including anyone who might be shooting holes in your stomach.

Adding to the pain are the annoying escort and defense missions, the meaningless story line, and throwaway two-player modes. This is the rare sequel that gets it all wrong.

Sporting spiffy 3D graphics but little in the way of bang for the buck, Tao Feng quickly sinks into mediocrity and takes up permanent residence there. [May 2003, p.65]

Since the fighting lacks rhythm and finesse, pounding one button can and will defeat a player who's foolishly making a good-faith effort to control his character. [July 2003, p.78]

This game gets almost every design decision wrong and looks like hell on top of that. [Jan 2004, p.91]

It's missing the original game's great controls and sense of speed, rendering all that other good stuff a wasted effort. [Sept 2003, p.80]

If you do manage to get around the wacky premise and unintuitive controls, there is some longevity to the game, with a massive set of "challenges" to complete - but that's a bit "if." Otherwise, seer clear. [Dec 2003, p.96]

Throw in some uninspired third-person brawling, and, well, this turkey comes out as dry as the Sahara. [Feb 2004, p.86]

Merely an average action game featuring an overly sexy protagonist and an entertaining combat engine held back by myriad game-breaking glitches. [Jan 2005, p.106]

A decent racing game if you're into monster trucks and stadium races that are just over a minute long... Barely worth the effort. [Dec 2003, p.82]

Fugly when it came out on Dreamcast, and it's even fuglier now. Everything about this game is low-rent, and nothing has improved in this Xbox port. [Sept 2003, p.67]

Unless you hate life, avoid this. [Apr 2003, p.72]

Having every move consume HP is somewhat unbalancing when enemies already do so much damage, and the reworked HP/LP setup can be bafflingly random. [July 2003, p.72]

This game is a big, fat whoopie cushion waiting to be sat on. [Apr 2003, p.73]

Actually manages to make use of the touch screen in an interesting, though not vital, manner. It's too bad that the rest of the game is awful. [Feb 2005, p.111]

It's one of those games that nobody really asked for, so that leaves only one group of people who will be buying Starsky and Hutch: suckers. [Nov 2003, p.88]

A delicate blend of "You Don't Know Jack," "Girls Gone Wild," and repeatedly smashing your head against a concrete wall. [Oct 2004, p.116]

As a trivia contest, The Guy Game is merely average. As social commentary, we weep for the future.

Even if players know a song front to back, the pace is awkward and destroys a sense of rhythm. [Dec 2004, p.104]