No online support and "everyone's the same" characters mean no reason to bother at all. [Jun 2006, p.110]

Combat feels stiff, rote, and only semi-interactive: dodge an enemy's flurry, then press the correct sequence of buttons (ad nauseam) to counterattack. [Nov 2003, p.178]

Sure, there's a little car crushing, but not wanton crushing, and that's what I want in a monster truck game. [Feb 2004, p.110]

Or, if you're a life-hating masochist, you can waste $40 on The Guy Game, spend countless hours answering dumb trivia questions - and guessing if vapid skanks can answer dumb trivia questions (usually not) - and then...maybe see breasts. [Nov 2004, p.128]

A bland dish indeed, whipped up by chefs who were asleep, or perhaps dead, when lessons on taste and flavor were being taught. [Feb 2003, p.154]

The dirty language and innuendo rules out kids. Grown-ups will despise its complete lack of gameplay (at least Japanese dating sims offer minigames). That just leaves inmates. But forcing them to play this crap would be cruel and inhuman punishment. [Jan 2005, p.140]

Bland gameplay, however, stifles what inspiration there is. The fighting action is fundamentally underwhelming, and a poor camera and constant loading further handcuff things.

It's the general gameplay that's busted. Picking up an object is needlessly complex, tricky jumps seem to require more luck than skill, the camera is craptacular, boss battles are tedious, the vehicle-based levels are a joke, and the actual fighting action is bland. [Dec 2004, p.150]

The third time is definitely not the charm. [July 2002, p.128]

Or, if you're a life-hating masochist, you can waste $40 on The Guy Game, spend countless hours answering dumb trivia questions - and guessing if vapid skanks can answer dumb trivia questions (usually not) - and then...maybe see breasts. [Nov 2004, p.128]

All the alternate routes in SD make the game highly replayable, [but] there are still only a handful of tracks that add up to a total estimated playing time of oh, let’s say…15 minutes before you’ve seen just about everything. [Mar 2002, p.139]

This is a snore-fest made all the more yawnsome when you discover you have to watch the computer players take their turns in their geriatric entirety. [Oct 2002, p.194]

Besides the horrendous camera and controls, what irked me the most was how nonsensical it was. Its relentless linearity leads to jumping puzzles that make absolutely no sense. [Oct 2004, p.101]

That its online component is limited to a linear and moderately laggy co-op mode - and therefore feels even more ponderous than the single-player game - does little to spirit this comic book tie-in from gaming purgatory. [July 2008, p.80]

What could have been an awesome Predator game is actually one ugly motherf***er. [July 2005, p.111]

Navigating your too-large cartoon plane among clunky cliffs and bluffs is akin to playing in a world of giant Duplo bricks. [Apr 2007, p.82]

If the nausea-inducing camera doesn't kill your patience, the wacky wall-running and platform-leaping sections will. [May 2005, p.125]

It's the general gameplay that's busted. Picking up an object is needlessly complex, tricky jumps seem to require more luck than skill, the camera is craptacular, boss battles are tedious, the vehicle-based levels are a joke, and the actual fighting action is bland. [Dec 2004, p.150]

As a game, Bulletproof is a disaster. Your G-Unit allies are so dumb they had to be made invincible to keep them alive.

A game of chess could take forever, but when you pick up a piece, it doesn't take an hour to move it. But that's what Souls' slowdown-laden mess is like. Souls is one of the worst-optimized PS2-to-PSP ports I've played.

The owners of the Tetris license have got to stop whoring it out. [Sept 2002, p.162]

Isn't a terrible game; just an unremarkable one, outside a few flashes of cool fighting - much like the show itself. [Feb 2003, p.147]

Too bad the actual b-balling action has been done before and better. [July 2006, p.92]

If the nausea-inducing camera doesn't kill your patience, the wacky wall-running and platform-leaping sections will. [May 2005, p.125]

A cute and fun little racing game that has a great multiplayer component, but there's simply not enough to it. [May 2005, p.138]

My Street challenges me to think of a single type of gamer who would actually enjoy playing it. [Apr 2003, p.116]

Sega should have included all of the originals. They might not have aged well, but you can't even feel nostalgic about these pointless remakes. [March 2005, p.120]

The manual flight controls are overly sensitive and take serious getting used to, forcing you to rely on autopilot. [Aug 2006, p.92]