If someone handed you a lightsaber, I bet you, like me, would want to rip a lot of things a new poopchute with it. Unfortunately, this isn’t the Ginsu simulator I was hoping for. [Feb 2002, p.168]

But this classic weapons-based fighting series has lost much of its soul. While the original cast moves as fluidly as ever, the newer faces are the epitome of mediocre design and animation. Luckily, Xbox Live saves the day.

Sure, you can play as either the boy or the girl now, but either way you're saddled with a worthless A.I. companion who has the audacity to get annoyed when you ask him or her to pitch in to survive. [May 2007, p.88]

It's official. Splinter Cell is not meant to be a portable game. I think these other reviewers are too forgiving because Splinter Cell's so great to begin with. But I'm a fan of the series, and I think this one stinks.

An extremely frustrating, poorly programmed mess. [Feb 2005, p.106]

A number of flaws kill the game's flow, namely a particularly atrocious camera, a weak lock-on system, a frustrating lack of checkpoints, and poor enemy A.I. [March 2005, p.124]

With all these hiccups, I'm shocked this war lasted one year, let alone 100. [Dec 2007, p.109]

The whole package amounts to a single "Vice City" car mission in which you tail jalopies along rigidly scripted trails, but without the room for improvisation you'd find in "GTA." [Nov 2003, p.173]

Played it, beat it, forgot it... Oh, and it has the worst unlockable secret ever - an art gallery of the load screens...that's right, the ones burned into your memory during the long load times. Gee, thanks. [Oct 2003, p.139]

Play is for people who don't really play games, and as someone who really does, that's a problem. [Feb. 2007, p.86]

It's just a mess whenever it thrusts you into confusing fully 3D levels. Here, the ugly, high-contrast backdrops look like a Lite-Brite melting underwater. [Nov 2003, p.186]

Faceless-cyborg-smashing melee battles are repetitive, uninspired, and glitchy. And with each story line presented in a series of minimissions averaging 3 to 4 minutes apiece, you spend a lot of your time switching characters and saving and loading instead of just playing the darn game.

Now, if they could just manage decent graphics-the game slides dangerously close to PS1 territory at times-ditch the freakish characters, and pen a halfdecent tale to go with the gameplay, SaGa could finally become a series worth paying attention to.

Only a hollow shell of the landmark 1979 series that started it all. [Oct 2001, p.148]

Difficult - even the homeliest guy on earth could get laid before he could complete the inane tasks required to unlock all the R-rated stripper videos (which aren't worth the effort, by the way). Only the most patient, hardcore, and masochistic will be able to play through XXX. [Feb 2003, p.152]

Slowdown, crappy animation, dumb A.I., and a laggy control scheme are bad enough, but it's the stupendously awful level design - with impassible areas that might as well be invisible walls - that really takes the cake. [Nov 2004, p.130]

Ultimately, the game simply isn't that engaging: The unique FFVII setting feels totally wasted here, as you're often running through boring corridors looking for keycards. [Sept. 2006, p.103]

The plot is intriguing, but a poor translation drags it down. Compared to the likes of "Silent Hill 4," though, Kuon feels as ancient as its setting. [Holiday 2004, p.115]

Like it or not, this is an OLD game, and the play mechanics are archaic by today's standards. [June 2002, p.124]

Unfortunately, the game suffers from so much slowdown when multiple cars are onscreen that it curtails any fun you might be having. [Sept 2003, p.116]

I find it sharp, fast, and stylish, which is just what this kind of game needs to be. Just keep the volume low—these Turtles be talking too damn much.

Crown is entertaining only if your other option is taking an algebra test... You know, maybe I'll grab some pals and play "Risk" instead. [Nov 2003, p.175]

You're stuck with a game of disparate modes - driving, shooting, sneaking, and cut-scene-watching - that never gels into the cohesive, cinematic product the developers were promising. [Feb 2005, p.104]

08 gives good fan service, but the car nut in me is more satisfied with the recent releases of "Dirt" and "Forza 2". [Sept 2007, p.92]

Matches are slower than molasses on a flat surface and play out like blooper reels, with fighters facing the wrong way, refusing to pick up tables or pull off signature strikes. [Sept 2004, p.99]

A tamer, single-player "Time Crisis 2" with fewer unique enemies and lamer bosses. [August 2002, p.124]

The cruel difficulty hampers the enjoyment. [Apr 2003, p.116]

The action isn't bad - just appallingly generic. [Jan 2004, p.110]