For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 40% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Viet and Nam
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
854 movie reviews
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Faults is a richly-textured movie that concerns the weird space between thinking you know what you're doing, and actually knowing what you're doing.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Paulina is, in that sense, worth seeing, even if its basic plot repeatedly stalls. It is a thoughtful movie, but not necessarily a fulfilling one.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Geoghegan and Hendrix have the right instincts, which goes a long way, given that their vision is slightly limited by their budget. I didn't just fall for this type of film: I also admire its creators' knack for conveying what they like most about their characters through pulpy dialogue, impressive shot choices, and satisfyingly gory set pieces.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The Mermaid will make you laugh. It doesn't matter if you don't like subtitles. It doesn't matter if you've never heard of the director. It doesn't matter if you've never seen a Chinese movie in your life. It will make you laugh. Guaranteed.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The gory, but weirdly blasé Russian black comedy Why Don’t You Just Die! feels like a gross exercise in style that’s also a passable tribute to Jim Thompson’s bleakly hilarious crime novels, and a brain-dead critique of post-Soviet consumerism.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 60 Simon Abrams
    [Shirai] indulges his subjects' lack of introspection and focuses on the ephemeral beauty of the brewery's centuries-old sake-making method.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    So while Enid’s investigation never goes anywhere noteworthy, Censor still fosters an increasingly desperate, anxiety-inducing effect.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Sex
    Dialogue does most of the heavy-lifting here, just like in “Love”, the first and most recently released entry of Haugerud’s thematically related series. Haugerud’s knack for visual storytelling also makes a difference, specifically in how he presents the city of Oslo and its features as an enriching backdrop.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    A tone-deaf celebration of Manhattan’s ritzy Carlyle Hotel.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    What makes The Vigil so frustrating is that it feels like a product and not a reflection of its subject’s identity crisis.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Instead of over-glorifying their shared past, Ericsson pays loving tribute to what remains of his subjects' relationship.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Character actor Tom Skerritt takes the lead for once in this gentle, melancholic drama about an older man who, while overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts, figures some things out for himself. Fans of David Guterson’s source novel will probably get it, but everyone else might need a moment to get the picture.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    You know you're in trouble with a film when you're so bored by it that you wind up asking why things seem so implausible.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's also genuinely warm and involving because of the participation of everyone from Carmen Vega, Giger's widow, to Sandra Berretta, Giger's former assistant and self-described "life partner." The film is, in that sense, an effective memorial, one filmed after Giger himself admitted that he had said all he wanted to say in his art.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    There’s no way to enjoy “Cypher” without seeing it as an elaborate and often exasperating joke at viewers’ expense.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The filmmakers over-extend themselves to solicit empathy for their doomed protagonists. Youth is so unbearably nice that I eventually wished it were remade by misanthropes.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Watching Campbell over her shoulder or in a mirror is frustrating because it consistently limits our view of her character. Porterfield's people can't give anything away beyond their immediate aggression, frustration, and sadness. But it's hard to appreciate an intentionally blurry portrait of a family that's so impressionistic that all you can see of its already-withdrawn characters are their shadows.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    To be clear: Asako I & II is not a bad movie, just one that doesn't convey much beyond its creators' intentions. There are moments of poetic beauty scattered throughout, like the few scenes that don't push the otherwise cloud-light plot along.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 55 Simon Abrams
    If you’re at all curious about “One Piece,” you might still enjoy One Piece Film Red, since it’s a better-than-average highlight reel for Oda’s ingratiating and vividly realized characters. Just don’t feel bad if you exit the theater feeling confused and a little unfulfilled; this new feature’s more of an oversized sampler platter than a full-sized meal.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Fessenden’s prickly sense of humanism makes a considerable difference in Depraved, his engrossing take on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, and maybe his best movie to date.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Blood Relatives isn’t always a great comedy about vampires, or fathers and daughters, but it is a charming road movie.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 60 Simon Abrams
    The retrospective nature of this documentary character study requires some creative liberties, but treating one of your two main characters like a special guest in her own movie suggests that telling a better story was unfortunately the top priority here.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Sometimes, the suggestive nature of Gregg’s impressionistic mood piece—as well as a characteristically strong lead performance by Riseborough (Possessor, Mandy)—is enough to sustain one’s interest in Here Before. Right up until Gregg lobs an unsettling and only partly satisfying twist at viewers and leaves us to work through our feelings on our own time.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Most of the gags in this pandering spoof are about their own schematic nature — they’re jokes about how you’re smarter than the jokes.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Song's performance makes me wish the rest of A Taxi Driver was as thoughtful.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    A general lack of urgency are the main things holding Get Duked! back from being as good as it is promising.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    The Elephant Queen may not suit every adult viewers’ taste, but it is exceptionally sensitive and consistently thoughtful, especially when it’s concerned with the sorts of facts of life of which younger kids are probably already vaguely aware.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    The makers of the irresistible character-study doc Itzhak capture Itzhak Perlman’s characteristic warmth and bravado through short, anecdote-centric scenes that make the Israeli American violinist sound like a big-hearted raconteur who’s just dying to tell you everything about himself.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Taiwanese horror movie The Sadness is both conceptually exhausting and viscerally upsetting—an ideal summer movie for the third year of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    So often bogged down by pseudo-naturalistic long takes and generic cop/robber power dynamics that it makes one wonder what the point of watching such a film is.

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