For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 40% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Viet and Nam
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
854 movie reviews
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It takes a moment for the action to start—about 38 minutes—but once it does, this otherwise generic thriller’s flimsy relevance and unusual pacing not only seem more forgivable but maybe even sneakily clever.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    American Made may be superficially a condemnation of the hypocritical American impulse to take drug suppliers' money with one hand and chastise users with the other. But it's mostly a sensational, sub-"Wolf of Wall Street"-style true crime story that attempts to seduce you, then abandon you.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    A visually impressive mix of hand-drawn and CGI animation with basic action-adventure elements that are always viscerally satisfying thanks to Hosoda's apparent warts-and-all love for humanity.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    The scattershot new media satire Vengeance might have been merely a toothless provocation replete with both-sides false equivalences were it not so well-scripted and well-directed on a scene-to-scene basis.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    If you want to see cats chasing people in packs, falling over themselves to descend stairwells, and jump up trees to swipe at disposable human protagonists--you will probably enjoy Roar.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Unexpected isn't about, but rather a product of, class-based condescension in America.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 65 Simon Abrams
    While this new “Dragon Ball” spinoff may not be all things to all viewers, it’s also a thrilling showcase for Toriyama’s beloved characters.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Canadian filmmaker Denis Côté holds up a shallow mirror to the world of bodybuilding in the underwhelming experimental documentary A Skin So Soft.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Unlike most costume dramas, Sunset — a moving Hungarian character study set in Budapest during 1913 — isn't a movie you can easily get lost in. The movie's disorienting and visually austere style takes some getting used to.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Recreated footage of the rovers flying to, landing on, and carefully exploring the red planet tend to be the most engrossing material in White’s scattershot documentary, which too often tries to humanize the rovers’ handlers by playing up their emotions instead of their accomplishments.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It’s “Avatar” meets “Fantastic Voyage,” and it also looks really good on a big screen thanks to Disney’s many, many talented animators. With their help, “Strange World” breezes through a checklist of formulaic plot points and canned emotional revelations with enough style and sensitivity to make it work.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Any movie is improved at least 10 percent by the presence of Scottish actor Brian Cox, even mushy sports drama Believe.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 60 Simon Abrams
    Derrickson and Cargill successfully tailor their focused and mostly compelling narrative to a Steven Spielberg/Amblin Entertainment–esque bit of Stephen King–sploitation.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Yen continues charging ahead in “The Prosecutor,” which frequently goes hard enough to fly through its corniest lulls.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The brutality of Tyrannosaur isn't so over the top as to make director Paddy Considine's sympathy for his flawed characters look like a sham. But it does frequently bring his film's seesawing exploration of blue-collar existence to the brink of collapse.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Ride Your Wave moves without a great sense of urgency, but only because Hinako’s emotional turmoil isn’t a great conflict or a tragedy. It is, however, as real as the private heartaches that we self-consciously wear on our sleeves.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The Hallow also de-emphasizes human drama to the point where it often feels like a Jenga tower of set pieces, a disappointing fact that's most apparent during the film's first 40 minutes.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Leo
    If you’re watching Leo, it should be to see Vijay show off in between animal attacks, car flips, and celebrity cameos. And even if you don’t expect much from Leo, it still might give you exactly what you need.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Point and Shoot consequently feels like a film made by a storyteller — not a journalist — who doesn't know he can ask follow-up questions.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Instead of relishing the specific details of this story, you wind up enjoying its familiar pleasures and then maybe its creators’ proficient execution.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 60 Simon Abrams
    Assassination is a blast whenever the director doesn't take his melodramatic plot too seriously.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Director Joshua Erkman shows promise throughout “A Desert,” his first feature, but his movie’s unyielding scenario, co-written with Bossi Baker, makes it hard to want to hang around while thinly drawn characters vaguely establish the movie’s themes.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    And when the movie’s over, nothing is resolved that the filmmakers didn’t side-step or reduce to a few unconvincing symbols of hope for a more equitable future. You might like Enforcement if that’s a line you already want to buy; there’s otherwise not much here to change your mind.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    An average scene in Confess, Fletch features several different kinds of humor, including callbacks, running jokes, physical comedy, and character-driven wordplay, all of which either flatter the individual actors or show off how well they work with their co-stars.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Meet Me in the Bathroom is an impressionistic blur, more about what it felt like to be at the head of a scene than the actual scene’s character or identity.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Aat some point, every character in Youth falls out of love with the way of seeing the world. That kind of anti-epiphany is major—not on a universal, but rather a personal scale.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's an unsettling, and sometimes high-concept doodle, but it's awfully hard to resist a film that marries Atomic Age paranoia and optimism with Kurosawa's signature post-modern, atmosphere-intensive style.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Vivarium isn’t a fun watch, and not just because it’s generally claustrophobic and insistently bleak.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    What’s mostly lacking is a matter of character-enhancing detail, the kind that would better integrate the movie’s high-concept thrills with its heartstring-tugging melodrama. Soapy’s not bad, but “This is Not a Test” lacks the sensationalism or sensitivity to make it more than a wan misfire.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Thankfully, there's a considerable nasty streak that runs throughout Furies, and it isn't limited to the movie's antagonists.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Thankfully, Studio 4°C’s sumptuous animation and sound design still make “All You Need is Kill” a vivid and worthwhile do-over.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    In many ways, Zhang’s latest is the coldest film that he’s made in a while, though it might also be his most alluring.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    There's a lot of chutzpah on display throughout the film, even during essentially soggy, dialogue-intensive sequences, which are broken up by disorienting flashbacks. But Jung's biggest failing is his inability to make Sook-hee a heroine worth caring about.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    Call Me Lucky is a loving but fair portrait of the artist as a heroic hothead.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 0 Simon Abrams
    The film's nature as a work of propaganda would be more deplorable—or at least eyeroll-inducing—if it weren't so poorly blocked, scripted, performed, and choreographed. There is no joy in Seagal-ville, dear rubber-neckers, because pretty much everybody here has struck out.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The sprawling scope of The Traitor is a big part of its dryly funny (though never in a ha-ha kind of way) appeal, and that takes some getting used to.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Die-hard X Japan fans may enjoy seeing Yoshiki talk about his past, but everyone else will leave We Are X wondering who X Japan is.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Winningly over-the-top Korean gangster drama Asura: The City of Madness is what you'd get if you combined The Wire with a really good soap opera.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Okazaki gets close to, but never sheds enough light on, Mifune's elusive personality.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Monster Hunt 2 is charming enough on a scene-to-scene basis that its success is worth noting.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Bloodthirsty isn’t as deep or dark as it needs to be, and that’s way more frustrating than its general lack of werewolves.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Cocker's magnetic persona is a huge part of Pulp's identity, but it's not the band's greatest legacy. So don't be surprised when Cocker's gas-leak hiss of a voice is drowned out by smoke machine cannons, and fails to swell until it bursts at the end of "Common People."
    • 63 Metascore
    • 60 Simon Abrams
    A strong ensemble cast, led by Sterling K. Brown and Regina Hall, does a lot of emotional heavy lifting in the otherwise lightweight mockumentary Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Piercing, the latest horror film by music video helmer turned feature horror writer/director Nicolas Pesce, is more frustrating than it is actually bad. Because Piercing, an adaptation of Ryu Murakami's novel of the same name, succeeds as a darkly comic provocation. I think. Sort of?
    • 63 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    By inexpertly filtering her art through her travails, Wood and Altunaga reimagine Parra's suicide as an explicable conclusion to her turbulent life.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Without Charlize Theron, the spy adventure Atomic Blonde would only be clever. She makes it insightful. The actress gives emotional depth to the highly mannered behavior of the film’s heroine.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Arthouse horror flick The Eyes of My Mother actively alienates viewers by presenting episodes in a woman's life from a post-human, God-like perspective. Sometimes. Usually. Probably?
    • 63 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    Knock at the Cabin does not disappoint. It’s a movie that reminds us why Shyamalan is one of contemporary cinema’s greatest alchemists and a prime example of a filmmaker at his best and boldest.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Pattinson and Wasikowska deserve better material than the Zellners’ head-scratchingly lazy jokes.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The Limehouse Golem only reflects its creators' lack of imagination. Medina and Goldman invest so much time in (poorly) misleading audiences that they say nothing memorable about the past, or why it matters to today's audience.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    With Bullet Train Explosion, you get a straight-down-the-line crowdpleaser, replete with duty-bound authority figures in well-pressed uniforms, anxious and often self-absorbed passengers, Macgyver-like problem-solving, seat-of-your-pants close calls, that sort of thing. There are no real surprises here, just what you’d want from this sort of cheeseball entertainment.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    I wanted to root for and care about the world of “Night Raiders,” but I never felt like Niska and her daughter said more about themselves than their predictable behavior advertised.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    In this context, Farnworth’s appropriately broad performance is exceptional. She doesn’t have much dialogue that’s worthy of her playful, all-in line readings, but Farnworth deserves all due praise.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    If nothing else, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reminds us that nostalgia is often used as a mandate for spectacularly lazy filmmaking.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Documentary character study Kung Fu Elliot starts off as a cringe-humor portrait of a delusional would-be action star, but gradually transforms into a thoughtful examination of its title character's naïveté.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Padmaavat is a rare work of pop art that is both powerful and repugnant.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    I’d have an easier time accepting the trite, asked-and-answered conclusions that director Muye Wen and co-writers Jianu Han and Wei Zhong lead viewers to if they were more adept at tugging at viewers’ heart-strings.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Fighter never strays far from the path that other movies like it have previously charted, but it still delivers most of what it promises.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    There aren’t many surprises here, because the bread crumbs that lead to the movie’s big finish are plentiful and very stale. Seriously, the plot twists in this movie are so obvious and unappetizing that you couldn’t miss them if you tried.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    A very good film, but only if you're willing to inevitably submit to its anarchic sensibility.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 65 Simon Abrams
    The sturdy but shallow martial arts melodrama Ip Man 4: The Finale isn’t much more than what fans have already gotten from the popular action franchise.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    An arty tribute to violent, sensuous, over-the-top Euro-trash pulp fiction.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 65 Simon Abrams
    While some talking points tend to be belabored and others don’t get unpacked at great enough length, Lynch/Oz still offers movie-lovers a variety of thoughtful and dynamic new ways of seeing Lynch’s work.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    A crashing disappointment, even if you haven't seen director Masaaki Yuasa's relatively inspired and completely unpredictable 2004 anti-coming-of-age fantasy "Mind Game."
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's also genuinely warm and involving because of the participation of everyone from Carmen Vega, Giger's widow, to Sandra Berretta, Giger's former assistant and self-described "life partner." The film is, in that sense, an effective memorial, one filmed after Giger himself admitted that he had said all he wanted to say in his art.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Coogan and Rudd's generally charming performances both give weight to their otherwise wisp-thin characters, but their swishy mannerisms also speak to the superficial nature of Fleming's presentation of Erasmus and Paul.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    It’s not badly made, just uninspired and played out. If you like B-movies made with a budget and are specifically looking for an undemanding time, “Abigail” might be for you. “Abigail” might also disappoint you, especially if you’re hoping for more than what’s advertised.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    More about ambience than narrative progress, so if you don't like these kinds of characters (ie: hippy-dippy aesthetes), the film will drive you up a wall.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Rarely goes so far over the top that it loses you completely. It is, to put it mildly, not subtle. But if you watch it expecting to see a dumb idea executed with appreciable skill, you'll have a blast.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Had Nicholson taken advantage of Melendez and Suarez's seemingly easy-going nature, Rubble Kings might have been great. As it is, the film is a one-sided, but satisfying tribute to an alternatively terrifying and beguiling city that we can only revisit in movies.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Paley's segment proves that The Prophet is more of a missed opportunity than an ambitious folly.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Blood-soaked Indonesian martial arts flick Headshot is for anyone who liked "The Bourne Identity," but wished it were way more violent.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Neophyte writer/director Christopher Papakaliatis eventually shows an affinity for filming two people in love, but his actors often lack the chemistry to make us believe that their bond transcends all socioeconomic boundaries.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The director's gifted collaborators sometimes perk up this listless parable, but never enough to sell its second-hand fatalism.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Hadžihalilović's latest is both too hazy to make a great adaptation and too focused to be genuinely dream-like.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The Bluff exemplifies a very enjoyable type of nostalgia-bait, even if it’s never as good as its elevator pitch.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The best thing I can say about Daniel Isn’t Real is that it’s a promising early feature made by young artists who haven’t yet worked out how to express and/or synthesize what they like about their favorite artists and their work. It’s all style and very little substance.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    Unfortunately, Archambault’s churlishly over-the-top performance makes it impossible to take 14 Cameras seriously, no matter how you interpret Gerald’s actions.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Dog
    The camera loves Channing Tatum, and that makes up for a lot in Dog, a corny road movie that mostly panders to fans of Tatum and/or dogs, as well as any moviegoer who still thinks that making a big show of supporting the troops (any troops) makes them more human than, uh, most everyone else.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Thank You for Playing transforms a father's confession into a revealing work of art.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    There are no good or bad people in The Island, just a group of hapless schmucks who become more sympathetic as they get more desperate.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Unlike “Stranger Things,” The Wretched is a little too cute about teen angst, and not light enough on its feet to make you want to root for its ostensibly typical adolescent.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Hokey and unconvincing, “Tetris” skims the surface of a genuinely curious “true story” thriller, which too often plays out like a Disney-ified version of “The Social Network.”
    • 55 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The cleverest additions to the “Hellraiser” canon will only be apparent to established fans since the makers of the latest movie awkwardly graft a sometimes-inspired monster movie onto the back of a trauma-focused character study.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    The Taking of Tiger Mountain may not always be as grand as it should be, but its thrills compensate for its shortcomings.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 55 Simon Abrams
    Shooting the Mafia is, if nothing else, a decent introduction to Battaglia’s work, even if the rest of Loginotto’s primer doesn’t tell us much about who Battaglia is, or how to appreciate what she does.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Both an overstimulated multimedia lecture and an anxiety-stoking conspiracy thriller, “The Grab” urges viewers to follow the money, look at the big picture, and so on.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    The equally thrilling and exhausting Hong Kong martial arts fantasy Detective Dee: The Four Heavenly Kings boasts more inventive weapons, monsters, and plot twists than most Western audiences will know what to do with.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    This movie doesn’t work well as an edifying documentary, but it might go over well with anyone who wants to follow its unconvincing conspiracy-theory-like logic (apparently, genetic research is bad because it's "playing God" and is partly underfunded and overseen by the Chinese government and cocky American scientists!).
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The film is, in that sense, the ultimate fan film since it monotonously aggregates previously existing scifi/fantasy tropes. Rejoice, Gen X viewers, for now you can uncritically enjoy your childhood's junk food culture just because you're looking at the past through the rose-colored lenses of the future.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Claire's Camera is, like many of Hong's best comedies before it, amusing without necessarily being laugh-out-loud funny.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    There’s a significant difference in quality between the mediocre scenario (and dialogue) and thrilling production design (and direction) in White Snake.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    This is a film noir that is, despite some jittery, Tony Scott-esque action sequences, so cool, that you will leave it begging for a sequel.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Realistically, Overlord is a simple mechanism to deliver squib packs and swear words, a function that the film's creators accomplish despite their otherwise unremarkable story's choppy pacing and general humorlessness.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    While the first hour of “New Gods: Yang Jian” is about as attractive as it is surreal, the back half only works if you care about the destinies of its undistinguished protagonists.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    The Nowhere Inn . . . is a collection of comedic and musical sketches that are not funny, weird or thoughtful enough to sell its creators’ insistent, but mostly trite and undeveloped, ideas about the performative nature of self-fashioning and creative authenticity.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Imagine a cross between "Annie" and "Jesus Christ Superstar," only with more speed metal. Now imagine a lot of long takes of sometimes merely adequate, sometimes sneakily brilliant performers doing simple dance steps or sing-talking reams of theatrical dialogue (adapted from Charles Peguy's religious mystery play).
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Maslany and Cullen's characters seem intended to be psychologically realistic, but they're only as complex as The Other Half's surface-deep style.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    But all the charm in the world wouldn't make Ra.One's sanctimoniousness seem any more genuine.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The heroes of this film are, in other words, selfish, but never in a venal, or ugly way. They're human, and they do what they must to face each successive challenge they're confronted with.

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