For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 40% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Viet and Nam
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
854 movie reviews
    • 70 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The process of discovery that Evan goes through to get closer to Louise is what makes Spring special. But what Evan discovers about Louise feels like an after-thought that frustratingly overwhelms the film once it gets to where it's going.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Taken in its entirety, Ant-Man and the Wasp may not be the best anything, but, like its perpetually challenged hero, it is plenty good enough.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Italian drama Mia Madre is an either/or film, a humorous and poignant character study that frequently becomes an ensemble piece.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 58 Simon Abrams
    Post Tenebras Lux is certainly unique, but Reygadas is often intensely more interested in provoking his audience than actually fleshing out his heady ideas.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    You may not leave Sunshine Superman wanting to emulate Carl and Jean, but you will feel like you've vicariously bonded with them.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    You can fully enjoy Belladonna of Sadness if you either overlook or participate in the objectification of a gorgeous victim.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    A worthy documentary tribute to the drag queen icon.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    I often rolled my eyes at the kitschy, broad humor that Knife+Heart director Yann Gonzalzez (who co-wrote the film with Cristiano Mangione) sometimes used to characterize his sexually active queer characters.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    A lot of substantial or just different material might have enriched this documentary’s tidy fall-and-rise story.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Vonnegut’s family members and biographers provide the most intriguing material in Kurt Vonnegut: Unstuck in Time, but their interviews are too brief to enhance viewers’ appreciation of his work.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Faults is a richly-textured movie that concerns the weird space between thinking you know what you're doing, and actually knowing what you're doing.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Paulina is, in that sense, worth seeing, even if its basic plot repeatedly stalls. It is a thoughtful movie, but not necessarily a fulfilling one.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Geoghegan and Hendrix have the right instincts, which goes a long way, given that their vision is slightly limited by their budget. I didn't just fall for this type of film: I also admire its creators' knack for conveying what they like most about their characters through pulpy dialogue, impressive shot choices, and satisfyingly gory set pieces.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The Mermaid will make you laugh. It doesn't matter if you don't like subtitles. It doesn't matter if you've never heard of the director. It doesn't matter if you've never seen a Chinese movie in your life. It will make you laugh. Guaranteed.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The gory, but weirdly blasé Russian black comedy Why Don’t You Just Die! feels like a gross exercise in style that’s also a passable tribute to Jim Thompson’s bleakly hilarious crime novels, and a brain-dead critique of post-Soviet consumerism.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 60 Simon Abrams
    [Shirai] indulges his subjects' lack of introspection and focuses on the ephemeral beauty of the brewery's centuries-old sake-making method.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    So while Enid’s investigation never goes anywhere noteworthy, Censor still fosters an increasingly desperate, anxiety-inducing effect.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Sex
    Dialogue does most of the heavy-lifting here, just like in “Love”, the first and most recently released entry of Haugerud’s thematically related series. Haugerud’s knack for visual storytelling also makes a difference, specifically in how he presents the city of Oslo and its features as an enriching backdrop.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    A tone-deaf celebration of Manhattan’s ritzy Carlyle Hotel.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    What makes The Vigil so frustrating is that it feels like a product and not a reflection of its subject’s identity crisis.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Instead of over-glorifying their shared past, Ericsson pays loving tribute to what remains of his subjects' relationship.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Character actor Tom Skerritt takes the lead for once in this gentle, melancholic drama about an older man who, while overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts, figures some things out for himself. Fans of David Guterson’s source novel will probably get it, but everyone else might need a moment to get the picture.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    You know you're in trouble with a film when you're so bored by it that you wind up asking why things seem so implausible.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's also genuinely warm and involving because of the participation of everyone from Carmen Vega, Giger's widow, to Sandra Berretta, Giger's former assistant and self-described "life partner." The film is, in that sense, an effective memorial, one filmed after Giger himself admitted that he had said all he wanted to say in his art.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    There’s no way to enjoy “Cypher” without seeing it as an elaborate and often exasperating joke at viewers’ expense.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The filmmakers over-extend themselves to solicit empathy for their doomed protagonists. Youth is so unbearably nice that I eventually wished it were remade by misanthropes.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Watching Campbell over her shoulder or in a mirror is frustrating because it consistently limits our view of her character. Porterfield's people can't give anything away beyond their immediate aggression, frustration, and sadness. But it's hard to appreciate an intentionally blurry portrait of a family that's so impressionistic that all you can see of its already-withdrawn characters are their shadows.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    To be clear: Asako I & II is not a bad movie, just one that doesn't convey much beyond its creators' intentions. There are moments of poetic beauty scattered throughout, like the few scenes that don't push the otherwise cloud-light plot along.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 55 Simon Abrams
    If you’re at all curious about “One Piece,” you might still enjoy One Piece Film Red, since it’s a better-than-average highlight reel for Oda’s ingratiating and vividly realized characters. Just don’t feel bad if you exit the theater feeling confused and a little unfulfilled; this new feature’s more of an oversized sampler platter than a full-sized meal.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Fessenden’s prickly sense of humanism makes a considerable difference in Depraved, his engrossing take on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, and maybe his best movie to date.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Blood Relatives isn’t always a great comedy about vampires, or fathers and daughters, but it is a charming road movie.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 60 Simon Abrams
    The retrospective nature of this documentary character study requires some creative liberties, but treating one of your two main characters like a special guest in her own movie suggests that telling a better story was unfortunately the top priority here.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Sometimes, the suggestive nature of Gregg’s impressionistic mood piece—as well as a characteristically strong lead performance by Riseborough (Possessor, Mandy)—is enough to sustain one’s interest in Here Before. Right up until Gregg lobs an unsettling and only partly satisfying twist at viewers and leaves us to work through our feelings on our own time.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Most of the gags in this pandering spoof are about their own schematic nature — they’re jokes about how you’re smarter than the jokes.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Song's performance makes me wish the rest of A Taxi Driver was as thoughtful.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    A general lack of urgency are the main things holding Get Duked! back from being as good as it is promising.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    The Elephant Queen may not suit every adult viewers’ taste, but it is exceptionally sensitive and consistently thoughtful, especially when it’s concerned with the sorts of facts of life of which younger kids are probably already vaguely aware.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    The makers of the irresistible character-study doc Itzhak capture Itzhak Perlman’s characteristic warmth and bravado through short, anecdote-centric scenes that make the Israeli American violinist sound like a big-hearted raconteur who’s just dying to tell you everything about himself.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Taiwanese horror movie The Sadness is both conceptually exhausting and viscerally upsetting—an ideal summer movie for the third year of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    So often bogged down by pseudo-naturalistic long takes and generic cop/robber power dynamics that it makes one wonder what the point of watching such a film is.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Fortune Favors Lady Nikuko succeeds where so many other movies like it fail simply by making its characters seem real enough to be going through a series of familiar growing pains.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    For those who have understandably not seen Takakura's original film due to international distribution issues: think "The Fugitive," only this time, Tommy Lee Jones' gruff cop is replaced by a more sympathetic hot-shot detective.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    The Conjuring is as toothless as it is because it's two different kinds of boring. The film's plot is explained exhaustively whenever loud noises aren't blaring, and random objects aren't teasingly leaping out at you from the corner of your eye.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    There’s some appreciable serenity and a lot of personal grief on display in Out Stealing Horses, but it’s only visible in fits and starts.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Deerskin isn’t weird enough to be great, mostly because Dupieux (“Rubber, “Reality”) is a little too precious when it comes to pacing, characterizations, humor, etc.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Villain is the kind of stiflingly reverent genre picture that is so beholden to its main characters’ pity-me worldview that its predictably downbeat ending feels like the kind of hero worship that you often find in either a cloying biopic or a hidebound true crime adaptation.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It is also the post-punk writer/director Sion Sono's most accessible film: a middle-aged filmmaker's tribute to the kind of epic-sized gangster-romance he used to fantasize about making.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Poser might have been more satisfying if its gauzy night-club aesthetic and bold, underlined dialogue didn’t smother viewers with trite observations about hipster artistes.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Unfortunately, The Deer King fatally (and repeatedly) stalls as its plot starts winding down and its creators lunge for a character-driven moral to a symbolically freighted parable.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Ne Zha 2 is a rare sequel that amplifies both its action and drama without sacrificing much of what already worked in the last movie. It’s also a rare blockbuster that offers something worthwhile for a wide-ranging audience.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    If you’re looking for meaning, humor, or comfort, you’d best not look for it here.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    A few heavy-handed stabs at commentary aside, “Queens of the Dead” gets by with good, flirty cheer.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    There are a lot of fragmentary ideas in The Real Thing, but they’re not cohesive or worthwhile as they’re loosely formed into one grey 232-minute lump.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    I can’t honestly recommend Climate of the Hunter to everybody; it’s not a generic horror movie, but rather a dark arthouse fantasy that brings to mind the films of Ingmar Bergman and Andy Milligan. To say that Reece’s movie is bound to be an acquired taste would be something of an understatement.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    Quintana's emphasis on Jungian dream logic gives his otherwise spartan parable a compelling mythic dimension. The Vessel may bring Malick to mind, but it also feels like a major work by an exciting new talent.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Too bad writer-director Leena Yadav only infrequently uses innuendo-driven sex talk to break up a monotonous series of confrontations between misogynistic alpha males and their unhappy wives.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Psycho Goreman isn’t clever or lively enough to be more than fitfully fun, especially given how much time is spent mocking generic, but painstakingly recreated plot contrivances.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Byun ultimately pulls too many punches, but Kill Boksoon remains impressive, if only for its unexpected sensitivity and considerable emotional range.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    The Christmas-themed home-invasion movie Better Watch Out starts out as one kind of unpleasant, then switches gears to a higher level of unearned nastiness.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    An irresistibly gory science-fiction melodrama, is B-movie schlock done right.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The Paper Tigers is still very much a martial arts movie that ends with a late-night rooftop fight, and then a celebratory dim sum meal. But if you already like this sort of lightweight crowdpleaser, you’re bound to find something worthwhile here.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    Legends of the Mountain’s narrative fuse may be long, but Hu knows exactly when to light it and when to snuff it out.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 35 Simon Abrams
    Gender inequality may be a potentially complicating factor when it comes to sexual trauma (i.e., men can also be abused by women), but that provocative conceit isn’t considered with much care or intelligence.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    A charmingly filthy, albeit rather amateurish stab at making a macho action-hero persona out of Moore's stand-up sensibility.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The most enchanting thing about “ChaO” isn’t necessarily its hyperpoptimism, but the many little ways in which its breezy and arresting style reflects its creators’ lightly held Utopianism.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    The film's rote right-makes-might fantasy wouldn't be so obnoxious if pandering to the lowest common denominator wasn't its default mode.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Generally speaking, the museum seems like a modest, but vividly-detailed freak show.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The resulting episodic narrative is light on dialogue and heavy on ambiance; it's precise to an unsettling degree since a number of scenes start and stop whenever Lizzy can feel her way in and out of them.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    You shouldn't watch Shin Godzilla for Godzilla alone. He's not really the star of the film—Yaguchi and the rest of his human adversaries are. They credibly resist the end of the world with ingenuity and teamwork, making Shin Godzilla just as winningly optimistic as it is pleasurably eccentric.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    The exhilarating Japanese animated coming-of-age fantasy Mind Game plays out like a hallucinogen-fueled shaggy-dog joke that only ends after twenty-year-old horndog Nishi (Kôji Imada) discovers that the world does not revolve around him.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Thankfully, Cooke crams in so much persuasively appalling information — especially during a tangential aside on mentally ill patients’ high death rates — that it’s easy to forgive him for seemingly trying to push all viewers’ proverbial buttons at once.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    While Les eventually becomes more tolerable, LaBute's cloying dialogue makes it impossible to appreciate what turns out to be a bracingly pragmatic sense of optimism.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    There's not only nothing new here, there's nothing convincing either. And if I'm supposed to judge Bumblebee based on how well it succeeds at what it tries to do (rather than what came before it), it's still not very good.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Writer/director Chad Archibald still shows some promise here, especially whenever he lets his actors, cinematographer, makeup, creature, and production designer sell what is, at heart, a generic possession story. He thankfully does this often enough to keep the plot’s familiar and slowly dispensed beats from feeling too rote.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Cornish's gift for working with child actors is still apparent, as is his knack for dynamic action set pieces. The Kid Who Would Be King is not, in that sense, everything that it could have been. But it is fun where it counts and that's realistically what matters most.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    In spite of its conspicuously crude sense of humor, Delhi Belly is much more family-minded and innocent than it would like its young target audience to believe.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Dumont's characters' motives are consequently hard to divine, despite convincingly twitchy performances from French actors Fabrice Luchini and Juliette Binoche. So while I do recommend Slack Bay, I must warn you: this is a misanthropic comedy that features cannibalism, weird religious overtones, and a lot of goony pratfalls.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The movie’s fun, if a bit staid, when it’s in all-monsters-attack mode, but Ultraman: Rising doesn’t stand out whenever it requires more of your attention.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Archies celebrates its protagonists’ character-defining youth by letting them be cute, doofy, and mostly self-absorbed.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Unfortunately, The Public Image is Rotten often feels like an illustrated airing of grievances that also happens to be an in-their-words history of Lydon's best band.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The movie’s cast members all seem to understand their assignments, which makes even the sketchiest material seem more robust. There’s also more technical polish, as well as a general knack for comic timing, than you might expect from a remake of “The Toxic Avenger.”
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Scafidi’s movie appropriately reflects its director’s neurotic need to show all the different ways you can think about Argento and his art.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Goofy, over-earnest, and just good enough where it counts, Kalki 2898 AD outdistances its competition simply by digging deeper than expected into its patchy lore’s rich melodramatic turf.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Stevens slowly and subtly unpacks that heady, provocative conceit with care and in a way that makes his directorial debut feel like the arrival of a major new talent.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    People are not good or bad in The Cut — they are subject to violent whims, and rarely given fair opportunities to defend themselves. The Cut can therefore be seen as a historical corrective.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 65 Simon Abrams
    While this new “Dragon Ball” spinoff may not be all things to all viewers, it’s also a thrilling showcase for Toriyama’s beloved characters.

Top Trailers