It stinks!...It’s hardly challenging stuff once you’ve worked out what to do, and before long you’ll find yourself turning the machine off in general disgust.

One of the worst games we've ever played. Its badly designed, poorly implemented and an insult to Medabot fans. Our suggestion? Save yourself some money and stick to watching the cartoons.

Alien Escape is just too simplistic and too shallow to warrant serious attention.

The game features some of the most abysmal combat we’ve seen in an FPS for some time, with baffling inconsistencies to the damage your shots inflict and some laughably flawed AI.

Falls closer to mediocrity than it does greatness. The basic gameplay is sound enough -– the screen scrolls very quickly and the controls are responsive, but after a few plays you'll notice that the cars all follow the same pattern and this is one of many flaws in the overall AI.

If you missed the first game altogether, we suggest you get behind the wheel of Big Mutha Truckers 2 right now as it's a trucking good laugh that cannot fail to raise a smile. A hit? Truck yeah! (Sorry.)

If you get your kicks from smacking gangs of vomiting men then you’re probably quite at home with the shallowness of Minority Report.

Though Dino Stalker features all the relevant gore and shocks of Capcom’s classic survival horror games (and is proud to say so) the slow gameplay, limited freedom and short lifespan puts the survival of Dino Stalker in doubt.

It’s certainly different, is very unsettling and, if you’re into Manga-esque narratives, then you’ll love it.

No sense of competitive racing, no sense of control and an almost total lack of emotional connection between you, the car and the road.

A lot better than anyone dared to imagine (damn that Atari ‘classic!’) – just don't expect the game to be as timeless and breathtaking as the movie and you'll have a good time.

A plodding beast of a wrestling game that’s been made even worse by the fact that the PS2-to-GC conversion process has rendered it almost unplayable.

The sad thing is that, like the real game, this is consigned to be played once or twice and then put away to collect dust for half a year before being dug out again on a rainy day.

The overall experience is just so average. At no point when playing WhiteOut will you ever be wowed into silence or stunned into submission, you will shrug, curl a lip and say: "Well, y'know, it is only twenty quid."

Limited, repetitive and tediously gratuitous.

Outside of a tolerable multiplayer, there's nothing to redeem this. Battle Nexus had potential and it will stir the interest of old and new Turtles fans but sadly, it satisfies neither the misplaced nostalgia nor the itch for a cel-shaded violence.

Get a Saturn with "Winter Heat" instead and leave ATD to figure out that an unrushed "Rollcage 3" would be a far, far worthier project.

The twitchy controls mean that instant death is just a flick of the analog stick away, and even though we’re not psychic, we can guarantee you’ll die many, many times just trying to either work out where you’ve got to go or nab yourself a handful of bonus items.

If anything lets the game down it’s this combat system, which really doesn’t need to be there.

With no training mode demonstrating how to best persuade a piscine creature into your boat, this game presents a painfully dull exercise in frustration.

Sadly the effects you get on all these rarely impress and like the rest of the game they’re not much to look at.

Don't get us wrong, we love jumping cars and smashing through barn doors, but the game is desperately in need of something else. A little thing called gameplay.

”Ooh, are we having fun yet?” When Blade mutters these words as you run though the thousandth dim-witted vampire it can be hard not to see the irony – even the game is getting tired.

The excitement is just too short-lived and even the biggest fans of the movie are more than likely to be disappointed.

Get On Da Mic does offer other options such as the opportunity to spit your own sounds and a multiplayer freestyle battle but both are about as appealing as a new Dizee Rascal record. If 'cool' is what Eidos was aiming for it has missed by an 8 mile.

First off it's a 3D platformer but with less jumping about than you might be used to, which is actually a blessing because it is the worst double jump ever witnessed. It doesn't cover much distance or height and it's very, very slow. Pointless.

We never thought we’d say this but here’s a game that seems to be drawing inspiration from "Minority Report," itself an average, licensed title.

While we rarely get hung-up about graphic quality, its obvious that the developer has put very little effort into this department – bare textures and dull colours do not excite.

If you want the tricks buy Tony Hawk's and if you want to play something that has a semblance of recognisable football skill you'd be well advised to leave this game on the bench.

A mediocre and rather flaccid RTS in the mould of "Command & Conquer"...an unoriginal and ultimately dull game.

The only redeeming factor to Beat Down is almost everything is underlined with extra options such as negotiating, robbing, recruiting and so on. Normally, this flexibility would be welcomed but in Beat Down's case, having these extra options is akin to a Steven Seagal DVD being packaged with two discs of extras. Who cares?

If you like creaky retro revivals, bad Korean animation and ways to sell toys to children then, you guessed it, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 is the game for you. Let's see them quote that one on the box.

Everything about Smashing Drive smacks of laziness.

Catwoman, is quite simply, complete tripe...It's superficial. Everything about this game is based around how it looks rather than how it plays.

Despite this heinous gameplay, the game is remarkably easy to get through (even if it does make you sporadically scream out in anger).

Just too basic to allow for any long-term appeal.

And yes you did read that right, there are just six measly levels. Which disappointingly explains the reason that tasks (or rather chores) such as mini- bosses and end of level fights can be extremely tiresome and the wrong side of difficult.

It looks the part and it has al the right elements. It's just cumbersome and rarely rewarding to play. So close to being amazing, yet so obviously not. Shame.

It’s overly confusing without even rewarding the diligent player with a satisfying payoff. There is no, and we mean NO, sense of satisfaction in victory.

Much like the graphics, sound, multiplayer, and story (why bother with a story?) these additional game modes are merely a novelty and soon betray themselves as lacklustre additions bolted onto an admittedly great concept.

Colourful, fun and even – dare we say it – educational, Barbie Groovy Games is nicely designed and perfect for its market.

The gameplay is way too limited and repetitive, and you won't have any desire to move to the next level; after all, you know full well it'll just be even more button tapping. Yawn...

What onlookers don't see is hyper-active controls causing Kurenai to ping-pong about with the predictability of a pinball. Pinballs make rubbish ninjas.

The control system is still good but the rest of the game is still shockingly weak.

This is definitely one to stop the E.T. obsessed kids screaming, but no game for a grown up.

Not what it appears to be. It’s like pulling a blond stunner in a club only to get home and discover your ‘date’ is better endowed than you, and with five-o’clock shadow to boot.

Despite the cool weapons the action can often be repetitive, with weak combos leading to some blade-swinging button-bashing, all within an average world marred by cameras of varying efficiency.

In a culture that often prioritises surface quality over content, Catwoman embodies the 'videogames that look good but play dreadfully' stereotype, with some aspects of the game (ie the ones that are likely to feature in screenshots) obviously given far more development time than, say, the quality of enemy intelligence or how anyone interacts with the gameworld.

H3O’s problem, in a nutshell, is its subject matter – the wave, whilst a stunningly beautiful natural phenomenon, provides a most monotonous forum for a videogame imaginable.

Any title that can be completed in a couple of hours, and whose final level can be completed by merely holding right and pressing jump occasionally is regardless of whether you like ponies, not worth the £30 asked.

When the time came to finish playing Squad Leader, I couldn’t uninstall it quick enough. Mentally scarred from the horrific experience, the only thing that kept me going was the chance to warn others about it.

Without Warning fails miserably at whatever it set out to achieve. A lousy camera and ropey AI take a lot away from the cinematic style, and the sheer weight of repetition involved in the missions does little to expand on an idea that could have become a great title.

It's simply so nut-twistingly rank, so grit-sandwichedly unpalatable that any speechless incredulity invariably gets rammed into your brain with more than enough force for it to pop right out the other side, leaving you gasping with an enlightened sense of faecel awareness.

Gameplay progresses at a frustratingly slow pace, and it seems the most rudimentary powers of deduction have been substituted for the need to find a small piece of evidence hidden away in the least likely place.

If you’re buying this to play on your own, you’ll get bored very easily. More than any other title released so far, this game is one to be shared. The more friends you take on, the more fun you’ll have. And if you don’t join in the fun, you’re dithpicable!

The weird and wonderful world of Jim is well suited to the GBA – fast-paced and addictive, with enough challenge to get the little grey cells working – but this disappointing port hasn’t done its slimy hero many favours, and GBA owners will find much better elsewhere.

If you want a shallow, no fun, sexist, rip-off of "Prince Of Persia," taken from a terrible idea for a film, then why the hell are you reading this magazine?

Nasty visuals, odd camera work, silly levels - Shadow suffers from all the problems for which people have criticised every other 3D Sonic game only, for the most part, to a greater degree. Deserves to get lost among the Christmas rush and never found or spoken of again.

A dreadfully wasted opportunity - especially when it looks so good.

At a tenner this would have been okay, but for a penny under £20 this just can’t be recommended.

The controls are all over the place, the collision detection is laughable, the missions are dull and it is the biggest waste of time and money since that thing KLF did ages ago. By no means be fooled into buying this, nah, you won't be, no-one is that stupid.

"Mad air, mad attitude, mad trix" is what 3DO say. "Mad to part with forty notes" is what we riposte.

Yes there is some fun to be had but you’ll get bored long before you unlock all the characters or see the final 26th level.

As it is only the most hardened fan would find any enjoyment here and we can only recommend that the door be locked and the key thrown away to this particular dungeon.

The controls are pretty lousy, characters will often merge with each other and scenery, and moves feel limited; plus, why can't we grapple an opponent when they're stunned?...Avoid this rubbish at all costs.

Sure, you can punish them all you want or play ball with them, but soon it all becomes rather too monotonous and, most importantly, you really don't care when the little freaks kick the bucket.

The problems are not just with the dullness of the game, the scrappy presentation or the lack of focus, but the controls are a bit shoddy too.

Although not very technical, there is still a great deal of fun and the Disney sparkle just shines through.

The game works, but suffers from a few flaws: The table is a little too short to enable you to build up tension over long periods of time and the two player lets it down.

It’s fast and quite good fun for the first few levels, but a complete lack of variety causes you to repeat the same thing over and over again, just with tighter time limits in place. Boredom sets in quickly.

Just don't come running back to us if little Johnny decides he hates you and moves out aged six when he finds this under his Christmas tree.

One particular puzzle is solved by gathering Oompa Loompas and setting them to tasks while Charlie does the more physical work such as throwing vine balls into pipes. It's as pointless a task as Sisyphus' punishment in Hades, and you have to do it five times. In a row.

You do this with the aid of obscuring camera angles, slow reactions, moves which force you to fight in the wrong direction, clumsy controls and a loading time that exceeds all expectations.

To think this dire piece of programming is worth 40p, let along £40 is an insult to everything we believe in as dedicated gamers. Buy it...go on, we dare you. You’ll be the only fool that does...

Aside from the fact that the concept isn't nearly as enjoyable as it sounds, the poor collision detection and generally cheap feel ensures that any potential excitement that could come from the game drains away after a few minutes like motor oil from a battered engine.

The competing cars really don't have a clue that you exist, happily veering into your vehicle should it happen to occupy a piece of track that they fancy for themselves.

It’s sluggish and unresponsive and absolutely riddled with annoying bugs that should have been detected early in the production process.

Playing T3 was a joyless experience, and only our loyalty to the Big Man kept us playing.

This is a fairly average title with no fresh direction and without a real challenge it won’t keep many Gameboy fanatics busy for long.

It's not horrific in a way that will leave stains on your fingers, but standing alongside "Dead Or Alive: Ultimate" and "Mortal Kombat: Deception," Fight Club is like putting a teddy bear into a lions den.

A distinct lack of pace (something that made the original so absorbing) also makes the action far less exciting than it should be.

It doesn’t seem to know whether it wants to be a realistic simulation of the sport or a straight-out arcade game, as it stands it manages to succeed as neither.

We are loathe to diss it completely as it is fun for a while, but you really cannot justify paying forty quid for it. Rent this, grab some beers, unhook your brain and you'll have fun - but don't think about paying full price for it, there's just not enough here.

The fact that the game is so difficult is purely down to the excruciatingly painful controls.

The reasonably well-designed tracks are sold short by a ludicrously slow response to trick commands.

Fight Club is to fighting games what Tyler Durden's posturing is to Bruce Lee - a piss-poor impression.

It's just plain bad. What's worse is that either the developer or the publisher is fully aware of how atrocious Rise Of The Machines is. This is of course complete speculation but...

Well, we need a licence for sure...and how about some cool bands for the soundtrack?...Well, I can’t think what else I would have written.Urm… I think we’re done.

If the development team was trying to emulate the film it has succeeded, this is utter crap.

No doubt the developers would hide behind the old ‘but it’s for the kids’ line – but believe us Antz Racing would be an insult to the intelligence of a four-year-old. Redeeming features? Not a single one.

To use the party analogy, if you're suitably inebriated with your mates you might get brief enjoyment out of Shrek Super Party, but youíll wake up the next morning with one hell of a gaming hangover and realise that what you thought was a good looking game is an ugly dog thatís puked on your Xbox. Trash.

An absolutely listless piece of software, which fails on almost every level to convey the action of its subject sport. If the big man himself sees this, he’s liable to bite the Darling brothers’ ears off.

Unfortunately, the camera grates throughout proceedings and you often find yourself either stuck behind scenery or with Frogger running directly toward you and thus not being able to see where you are going.

All this hard work is wasted thanks to the abysmal gameplay and game design. The license does nothing to enhance this mediocre title – in fact, it further highlights its flaws.

There's no skill involved at all as it's more a test of thumb durability than cagey fighting tactics.

It seems that Antz Extreme Racing only took a few hours to chuck together, using some old sticky back plastic and some double-sided tape. It’s awful.

If you’re a youngster who’s into Shrek, loves Hungry Hungry Hippo’s, but whose Mum wont buy it for you, then Shrek Super Party will be just the thing you’re after.

With almost no exception, it is the worst game ever to be reviewed in these pages. It’s simply the most cynically created, idly designed and unbelievably unenjoyable title yet made for the Game Boy Advance.