Although the depth of the gameplay is barely knee-deep making Super Rub-a-dub not quite the splashing debut as was hoped, it’s still rollicking, simple fun while it lasts and quite possibly the best way to play with vinyl-plastic rubber ducks without getting yourself soaking wet.

Aside from an exhaustion that I’m still trying to shake, I walk away from Ken’s Rage 2 with the realization that us fans probably won’t be graced with a well deserved adaptation anytime soon and that realization already has my eyes shedding streaks of sorrowful man seed.

All in all, the shoddy in-game physics, sense of weightlessness given to the cars, and jaded track designs should be enough to turn the average consumer away.

DNF was damned if it did, damned if it didn't. I'm just glad to have finally played it. And upon completing the campaign, and laughing at the ending, I loaded it back up and started again; on Easy this time to avoid the long reloading. That alone speaks volumes. It feels like a long time ago since I enjoyed a FPS campaign like this.

It's not a bad game, it's just one of the most tediously easy, generic and downright bland games of the year.

Honestly, there aren’t any pros of playing this over buying a few Japanese comics or light novels instead if this is the sort of thing you’re looking for, and at least you can go at your own pace versus not being able to wade through the mostly trite dialogue.

Finding any redeeming qualities in CSI: Hard Evidence is like searching for clues in a crime scene drenched in bleach.

Overall the game is a big disappointment - often frustrating, dated and has little in the way of reward or replay value.

If the end of the world is anything like that depicted by Stormrise, we can expect our siblings to lose their sense of direction and choose extraordinarily complex systems to order themselves around with. Lord have mercy on our souls.

It’s floundering helplessly in transition from PC to Xbox 360.

The game is nothing more than a poorly veiled series of connect-the-dot challenges.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is a throwback to the bad old days of EA; a shameless and shameful cash-in that barely qualifies as a full game.

Daylight is just another copycat horror game; not terrible, just uninspired and incredibly dull. Its selling point will be its procedurally generated levels, but a game designed around replayability should at least be worth playing the first time.

It’s a shame, really. It’s sad to see one of the most popular handheld games of its time be devolved into this poor excuse of a card game.

Rather than begging the question of whether or not the Dreamcast title is still relevant, this port clearly indicates that it isn't.

The story is interesting, but many of the scenes seem forced. Controlling the different characters could have been cool, but their movesets are pathetically underdeveloped.

Uninspired, dull, and pestering for more money, this fits in nicely with the volume of film tie-ins.

Taking the series out of the Wild West has stripped The Cartel of character. While I understand Techland's desire to move forward, its lost its edge. In a crowded genre, The Cartel is solid, at times fun, but ultimately uninspiring.

To say that Mahjong Tales: Ancient Wisdom is overpriced at $10 would be a bit of an understatement. To be honest I had a hard enough time dragging myself to play the game for free.

An ambitious and in ways progressive survival horror game, whose ambition is hampered by its own numerous flaws. Whether these problems are a result of porting a current-gen title to a last-gen console remains to be seen, but the PS2 edition is very clearly a stripped down version of the impressive 360 game Atari have been displaying.

The gameplay can be addicting, but similar to its overly violent theme, it's a gimmick that washes quicker than blood.

Digested in short bursts there is some stupid amusement to be gleaned, but with the myriad of shortcomings found in the title there are certainly much better ways to get your senseless violence on.

The great license and the professional players just can’t make for an entertaining title thanks to a weak graphics engine and poor AI.

Has far too many bugs to be worthy of your consideration. If you’re looking for a rich fantasy world then try out Morrowind or Arx Fatalis. If you’re looking for some multiplayer fun then stick with Diablo II.

While I make it a goal to play every game I review to completion, there’s just no way that I am going to waste more my life playing this game.

The combat can be fun, but ultimately it’s rather boring and uninspired, the beasts are sluggish and unresponsive, and the defence is just plain annoying.

Amongst videogames, PDC World Championship Darts 2009 is peerless. But until the catchy theme tunes, drunken camaraderie and meaty dart-meeting-board thwack of the real game can be condensed into a handheld games console, the physical alternative will be an adversary no software can overcome.

Whether you're fighting Gustav Graves, Blofeld, Oddjob or Sanchez, it's all done via these poorly disguised Quick Time Events. Every time a boss would step forward and assume the position, I cringed.

Suspending your disbelief in a theatre is one thing, but engaging in a socially inept character’s seemingly redundant flights of fancy via overtly over-exaggerated mini games is all kinds of messy.

It’s tempting to support a game that’s been through struggles and survived out the other side, especially when it carries a popular name, but Aliens: Colonial Marines should have remained vaporware.

What's most disappointing about The Cartel is that it feels like a point of no return for what was once a promising franchise. It has really dropped the ball on the whole Western motif in favor of mostly grim urban environments and an almost actively disengaging plot.

From its stripping down of the series’ most successful gameplay elements to its obviously desperate addition of weapons and ‘street’ cool this is still a product of a development studio with a good imagination. But also, it seems, a lazy one only too happy to jump on the same GTA bandwagon that’s currently carrying way too many developers.

State of Emergency 2 isn’t a good game, but it does what it is billed to do and I can’t fault it too strongly because of that.

As you attempt to cut through your enemies in grisly fashion you’ll recall a simpler time, where you rode a purple chicken and kicked gnomes in their fannies.

If you love, or are curious about, Ugly Americans just watch the show. If you need a good sidescrolling shooter fix, an 8-bit snack should suffice to satisfy your palette.

It amazes me how Koei can get away with releasing the same game every year, without even attempting to fix the problems that have plagued all their past entries. There’s nothing worth investing in here.

There's no attempt here to take a risk and try something new, which may have turned the whole series around...If they couldn't be bothered to make the effort and create a decent game from the plastic soldier concept, why should we be bothered to play it?

It tries to offer some humor and a little bit of fantasy to an otherwise bland game. But it suffers from a lack of difficulty and a few control and glitch issues.

The great license and the professional players just can't make for an entertaining title thanks to a weak graphics engine and poor AI.

An uninspired mess.

A missed opportunity.

While it presents a few neat ideas, Paint By DS is disappointing on nearly every level. It's dull, boring, and what's more, absolutely heartless.

As it stands, the “athletes” in Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball look like people lost in a vast sea.

Rhythm Zone was released as an inconsistent product that didn't do what it advertised.

With an unnecessarily simplistic control system, terrible commentary and a lifeless customisation system, the only slight nugget of entertainment can be found in the licensed career mode.

What annoys me most about Gorky Zero is that although it's crap, it's not amusingly so. Some games are so dire that you find yourself laughing before you shred their shiny disks, but this is so generic and uninspiring that it's frustrating.

Star Wars The Clone Wars: Republic Heroes feels like a cheap cash-in to milk the Star Wars franchise around Christmas time.

This is the very definition of a shameless cash-cow. Anyone of sound mind must steer clear.

I suppose things could've been worse: they could've done a poorly emulated version of the Intellivision hit "Maze-A-Tron."

Though you'll often be angry at it, Naughty Bear finds a way to make you smile at least once each level, even if you are reloading it for the third or fourth time. It's an example for every game design classroom of what not to do, but almost in spite of the developers, somehow, there's an entertaining game here that you'll inexplicably come back to.

It's at times a blissful experience, and at times a total joy, but at others it's frustrating, and shallow.

If you can cope with laggy, wooden movement, touch-detection that goes from iffy during navigation to horrible in the minigames, a story which doesn’t (even try to) make much sense, minimal music, and conversations bordering on wall-talk, you might find some comfort in this old-school adventure game that sticks to its prehistoric roots. Otherwise, this isn’t worth the time – even though it is a pretty damn short ride.

Here’s how Rengoku works: take something cool and mess it up. It’s that simple. They took robots and they made them boring and stupid.

A by-the-numbers shooter that fails to take advantage of its license.

Throughout its run-time, which seems like an eternity (though likely isn’t), Star Trek is a consistently underwhelming and frequently frustrating experience; it’s mostly ugly, it plays alright and does little of interest with a great license.

Whilst gamers are happy to purchase badly developed, poorly contrived games such as this, sadly those examples will still be a rarity.

Its story amounts to little more than misfired jokes about an obnoxious perv trying to look up as many skirts as possible.

A lack of direction within the gameplay and narrative ensures that this is one gamers will overlook like so many before.

We could have literally had Tom and Jerry, Aardman style. Instead we have rather un-imaginative game whose novelty runs off the older you are, and that's disappointing.

DARK’s main mistake is that it never makes you feel like a terrifying vampire in any way. If it did, some of its many, many flaws could be excused. It’s bug-ridden, badly designed, and plain boring to go through. Add a side-dish of casual misogyny, and you end up with a deeply unenjoyable experience.

Xtreme 2 succeeds as a budget game - it just doesn’t cater to any audience in particular. A lack of focus is the overarching problem with this decent budget title.

Unfinished and rotten to the core.

A complete failure of a game.

If the wonky controls were worked out, the game would be substantially improved right there.

Deep Black: Reloaded features incredibly repetitive gameplay and broken, frustrating shooting. It's devoid of the smoothness in controls and exciting action that made the Gears of War series such a joy to play.

In the end, it’s a game of such dubious quality I find it difficult to recommend even to fans of the films, and instead recommend it swiftly being hidden beneath better dross in a bargain bin, or, better yet, a normal, everyday, trash bin.

This is a broken, dismal game that manages only to disappoint across its meager four hours. Fans looking for a longer experience can ramp up the difficulty level, but this just means you'll be bored AND frustrated. If you want an authentic Battleship experience, go buy the board game and avoid this dreck.

Better yet, let’s just leave the on-rails style in the ’90s where it belongs. It’s been a nice ride, but we need to start moving on.

There is nothing here for anyone - not even the most ardent of Godzilla fans. It’s like if someone took your favourite ever franchise, made a half-arsed game out of it then spat in your face asking for money.

After the excellence of Telltale’s The Walking Dead, it’s clear that Survival Instinct is the weaker of this species.

There is no way anyone can justify buying this when Tomb Raider: Anniversary can be bought for a third of the price.

The characters have no personality whatsoever. The missions are a joke; the ridiculously horrible AI makes beating every objective a five-minute walk in the park at best.

The gameplay is broken in countless ways and the A.I. is comical at best. It's an ugly, unoriginal, inadequately tested and terribly implemented mess that has no place in anyone's game collection.

A bad game. You might assume that a company as reputable as the History Channel might take more care to protect their license, but it's clear that they just wanted to make a quick buck.

Valhalla Knights only excels at one thing: no other game can grate on your nerves quite like this.

Avoid like you would a vicious infection.

Everything about Amy is designed to frustrate and drain the player's will before they eventually throw up their hands in defeat and give up. Between the broken combat, constant annoyances in dealing with Amy, counter-intuitive controls, non-existent plot, bland characters, cheap deaths, and overall shoddy workmanship, Amy fails on practically every level.

This game has no story, almost non-existent controls, pathetic graphics, and audio quality that will make you twitch in discomfort.

The game is short, damn short. It can be finished in about an hour or so, and once you have sussed out the way the simple 'strategy' part works, all further enjoyment can only be derived from the main missions, which I'm sure you'll realise by now, can't save this Superman.

It’s horribly unexciting thanks to a total lack of speed and absolutely no challenge from your computer controlled “opponents.”

Beyond some sharp points in the visual style, The Asskickers is a prime example of why beat 'em ups have all but been abandoned. Go play Streets of Rage if you need a reminder of how relevant that still feels – this game won't satiate anyone's thirst for 16-bit nostalgia.

Having to play George of the Jungle was without a doubt the lowest, most embarrassing moment of my gaming track record.

There are simply no redeeming features to justify recommending Griffin's Story, even for people who are inexplicably fans of the movie.

If only more time were spent developing a more stimulating AI, or adding a better selection of mini games, then things may have turned out differently. But for what Ping Pals offers, you can’t escape the feeling you’ve been cheated out of your money.

This loose fragment of fan-service is priced as a Vita game and designed as a low-end iOS game. Square’s use of IAPs wouldn’t be a good model even if it were free-to-play. With the premium attached, All the Bravest is simply anti-consumer. It’s a big waste of a good opportunity to streamline.

Ninjabread Man couldn’t be a more of a generic platformer if it tried.

You lose if you buy Deal or No Deal, no matter how many times the game may say otherwise.

But by slapping a horde of white meat fodder onto a tacky shooting system and calling it a day, the developers have severely undercooked this dinner and given me a bad case of Campylobacter.

In short, BOB has no redeeming qualities at all and I would not wish this on my worst enemy.

Yaris might be free, but not even that can justify the space required to download the game. After all, what's your time worth?

If you hate someone, and I mean HATE someone, give them this game as a gift, in the hopes that they’ll play it, because that way you can say to them, “haha, you’re an idiot who plays Big Rigs!” I wish I could think of some redeeming factors for the game, but there simply aren’t any.

The great license and the professional players just can’t make for an entertaining title thanks to a weak graphics engine and poor AI.

It’s just a really, really shallow game with not a whole lot going on with it.

MLB 2K7 is not worth your time and this is definitely one game to avoid.

It is a great time killer but the mental challenge of the game makes me feel like I’m actually doing something, a feeling I don’t get from many other games.

In the dim twilight of the PS2’s life, no other game can send it off better.

The repetitive gameplay will probably stop most kids really engaging with it, and the educational value is debatable. A budget purchase only.

Though many of us adults will only play it once due to its easy-to-remember solutions, silly demeanor and short lifespan, the kids will definitely want to replay this game over and over, so it can be recommended for people of all ages.