If one were to judge it purely on a remastering job, The Thing is one of the most impressive games released this year. To preserve the feel of the original while enhancing so much about it is an incredible feat performed to an astounding degree. It’s a game of the year contender for as long as we don’t look at what the game is. Sadly, we have to, and that game is The Thing. Sod it, let’s just slap an inoffensive 7/10 on it. S’only a game, innit?

Comedy games are considered notoriously difficult to pull off, but ones like this demonstrate that the challenge isn’t inherent to the medium - it really just comes down to how many people making games are actually good at comedy. Death of the Reprobate, with humor that’s sharp and dumb in equally amusing measure, is some damn good comedy - and maybe more than a little damned.

Angel at Dusk may not be up there with the most essential shooters, but its bonkers concept and sickeningly beautiful visuals help it to stand out while the aggressive combat provides plenty of fun. Well, until repetition starts to set in. An enjoyable time, especially if the average shooter isn’t enough like Videodrome for you.

I no longer feel like I missed something when I gave up on the original as a kid. The streamlined controls got me further than I ever did in the 90s, but all to be found was tedium. The remake does little to liven it up, but at least there’s some crude entertainment in marveling at how shockingly buggy it is. It serves neither as a polished update nor an impressive reinvention, and confirms more than anything that Little Big Adventure is best experienced by watching a Longplay of the bloody thing.

Sorry We’re Closed not only pays homage to classic survival horror, it provides a truly unique love story that delves into the very nature of romance itself. For all its theming and grisly imagery, however, there’s a script with a pointed sense of humor and a cast of fun characters to match. Combat has good ideas set back by some awkward implementation, but the moments of annoyance aren’t enough to pull down the sum of all parts.

Slitterhead is full of great ideas and some truly memorable examples of body horror despite not feeling like much of a horror game. Perhaps with more of a budget behind it, those positives could’ve been done justice, but sadly this isn’t the case. The possession gimmick allows for imaginative action scenes that are let down by repetition, lacking variety, and a bunch of less thought out gameplay that bogs the action down. Someone throw some money behind this concept, please. It deserves to be in a much better game.

Dragon Age: The Veilguard is heavy on the action, light on the bullshit, and gets progressively more enjoyable as you expand your abilities and get used to some wonky controls. Its tone, art direction, and exaggerated combat is most certainly not the Dragon Age of old, but what can I say? It’s the Dragon Age I’ve enjoyed the most, even if I can name a laundry list of things that piss me off about it....The fact you can make it very gender is a huge positive, especially since the only people claiming it’s “forced” on you are lying through their stupid teeth. It’s there to help more players feel seen, and that’s only a good thing.

Even though I famously hated Frontiers and still do, I want it to get a direct sequel because I want a version of the game I can actually love. That said, playing Sonic Generations X Shadow has me hoping Sega never forgets that kind of game either, because I’ve been reminded that when 3D Sonic platforming is good, there’s nothing quite like it.

I’m so tired of this manipulative garbage. I can't wait to stop being addicted to it.

Starship Troopers: Extermination may share similarities with Helldivers, but it absolutely does enough to distinguish itself and I think I prefer it. With 16 players and massive hordes of Arachnids, the sheer scope of chaos is both intimidating and enthralling. Building a base from scratch is straightforward and lots of fun, as is trying to keep the thing from toppling over.

Transformers: Galactic Trials is overpriced and full of nothing. The gimmick of switching between vehicular racing and robotic shooting might have worked if both halves weren’t so thoughtlessly welded together like a shoddy cut-and-shut car. Then again, its meager content and technical sloppiness suggests it never had a chance...Also I’m still seething at the lack of Starscream.

All things considered? Silent Hill 2 Remake is an almost excellent game that just couldn’t help itself. It does so much to impress, but the obnoxious elements are so consistent they ensure Team Silent’s masterpiece is far from bested...I never want to see another Mannequin again in my life.

While it likely won’t be remembered to the same degree as “bigger” Zelda installments, it’ll absolutely go down as a classic to me. Echoes of Wisdom is brilliant in its creativity and versatility, one of the best in the series as far as I’m concerned...Also, Octoroks. Octoroks for days.

I’m absolutely a fan of the spin-off, with World Brothers 2 carrying on the quick, accessible, and nonsensically entertaining action of its predecessor. It’s packed full of fun toys, drowns the player in content, and you can play as a woman who thinks she’s a horse. She spawns carrots behind her when she sprints. How is that not what videogames are all about?

Halls of Torment is more than simply Vampire Survivors wearing Diablo’s clothes. It’s a clever and engrossing Survive ‘em Up that uses RPG trappings to add a ton of versatility and rewarding complexity to what would still be a fun game without it. There’s a pile of quirky character classes and a massive number of ways to build them during each run, just a big pile of content and not a shred of it feels like padding.

Cynical doesn’t even begin to describe such a poisonous display of IP leverage. There’s something actively nasty about the thing. It’s a reminder that creativity is not owned by the creators, it is imprisoned by the least creative among us, those of us who force others to dance but can't carry a tune.

Astro Bot is one of the best games I’ve played, period. A jubilant little adventure that dedicates itself fully to making an audience happy. For a neurodivergent player the visuals, sounds, and DualShock textures are indescribably satisfying. The accessible design makes it perfect for both children and adults. It’s a wonderful mascot platformer, the likes of which I’ve severely missed, and it’s the most tasteful way a game company has ever patted itself on the back...For once, the pats are well earned.

It’s just one of those games - the ones you like but have to acknowledge are riddled with things to complain about. Fun and frustrating all at once.

It’s the best game about a toy cat using his sentient hoverboard to dismember killer unicorns you could play this year.

To say there’s a lot to hate about Concord implies it has a lot of anything. While not strictly skeletal in content, it nonetheless offers little of note in a market that’s already saturated with similar games all vying to dominate the finite time of their players. Sony’s delivered the perfect picture of a game nobody was asking for, an impeccable example of the nonessential product. Even if I didn’t hate it, I sure as hell wouldn’t find enough to love.

It should be nigh impossible to f.ck up releasing Doom at this point, but trust this collection of utter clowns to find not just one, but several ways of doing so. DOOM + DOOM II oozes carelessness and ineptitude all wrapped up in an attitude of apparent contempt. Still, the remixed soundtracks absolutely slap.

It’s a potentially great experience brought down to decent by its enthusiasm for trudging bollocks.

Thank Goodness You're Here! rolls around in its Britishness to an almost obscene degree, but more than that it is simply… stupid. Majestically, gloriously stupid. It’s a wildly entertaining little adventure that revels in its own ludicrous indulgences. It delightedly broadcasts a sense of humor that some may find puerile and unappealing while others will find it puerile and very appealing...Thank goodness I’m in the latter camp.

Flintlock: The Siege of Dawn isn’t a particularly necessary addition to the Soulslike genre. It doesn’t stand out in any major way, and it’s certainly rough. It is nonetheless amusing in its own scrappy way, the many tools at the player’s disposal are well presented, and after a touchy start it develops into a decent bit of fun...Just a shame they didn’t stick with the trench stuff. Quite a missed opportunity to separate itself from so many similar games on the market. Oh well.

Clickolding is quiet and calm in spite of its unsettling undercurrent. Through straightforward interactions and a lot of clicking, a tone and subject is strongly established. I found it affecting enough to power through moments of monotony that my ADHD really didn’t care for, and I won’t forget that weirdo mask in a while at the very least.

Anomaly Pools has jumped on the liminal bandwagon with a game best released under the guise of a freebie “experiment” rather than a game that charges too much even at $1.99...Sorry. Having finished critiquing this, I feel like I’ve wasted all our time.

The First Descendant is the last thing I want to play right now, nauseated as I am by how much of a swindle it is. Designed entirely to frustrate and trick money out of players, it gives nothing in return but the same “live service” mundanity that’s soaked the market in an ocean of filth...It’ll probably be dead within a year like so many of its sordid ilk. That would be a genuinely good thing for the industry and for the players it’s trying to scam. I hope it dies on its toxic vine.

Still Wakes the Deep is an impeccable horror production, a gorgeously sickening nightmare in a rarely used setting propelled by stellar acting and sublimely nasty body horror. It’s more than just “The Thing on an oil rig,” though it makes good on that elevator pitch too. It’s going to remain with me for a long time. A true genre classic.