Spank!'s Scores

  • Games
For 144 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 38% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 60% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 2.1 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 73
Highest review score: 100 ISS Pro Evolution
Lowest review score: 4 WWF Royal Rumble
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 78 out of 144
  2. Negative: 10 out of 144
144 game reviews
    • 98 Metascore
    • 95 Critic Score
    This game is so phat man, it's sick.
    • Spank!
    • 97 Metascore
    • 95 Critic Score
    Perfect in every way. Except for the manual, which I've burnt along with every other first person shooter in the office games cupboard: there's no point in keeping either now.
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    • 95 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Where the game scores low is in the repeated use of cliched fantasy fodder in the shape of the narrative, nomenclature, audio and character portraits.
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    • 95 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    A lot more difficult than "Ocarina of Time" and not quite as user-friendly.
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    • 94 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    The twists and turns of the plot are brought to life on screen in a way that leaves you itching to find out what's round the next corner.
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    • 94 Metascore
    • 100 Critic Score
    Plays the opposition off the park. The best footy sim on the PlayStation, and possibly every other format as well.
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    • 94 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    There's plenty of challenging levels and the most blinkered PS2 stalwart would have to admit that it looks amazing.
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    • 93 Metascore
    • 84 Critic Score
    A brilliant game in it's own right but doesn't move on enough from the original to justify a bigger score.
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    • 93 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    SSX
    A big, big game with plenty to offer and - I can't emphasize this enough - lots of challenge - but it can be frustrating. Persevere with it, though, and you'll get a lot out of this.
    • Spank!
    • 93 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    This is the fastest, smoothest, most graphically sumptuous first person shooter available at the moment. Get used to the control method and you will be riveted; Get a mouse and a keyboard and you'll be unstoppable.
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    • 93 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Graphically the game is excellent, with crisp, clean characters and some very detailed textures.
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    • 92 Metascore
    • 85 Critic Score
    This is either a kind of gaming nirvana, or it's just a very clever piece of code that masks what is essentially a conservative and ultimately limited game.
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    • 92 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Due to the initial difficulty and a slight repetitiveness on part of the gameplay, it will make you wonder what the fuss is about, but once you do get in and begin to understand the level of customisation the game allows, it'll have you hooked.
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    • 92 Metascore
    • 92 Critic Score
    Graphically stunning, packed with features and playability out of the very top drawer.
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    • 92 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Witty, knowing, referential, and above all supremely playable, Conker is an absolute corker.
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    • 91 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    This is a surprisingly realistic simulation, and yet its overriding concern is to entertain. Which it does. In spades.
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    • 91 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    A good, solid 3D platformer that won't disappoint fans of the purple dragon, but may leave fans of the genre feeling a little empty.
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    • 91 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    The action is fast and exciting, the breasts still jiggle and the scene interaction could actually see you saying the word "wow!"
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    • 91 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Within the game, you have access to a variety of weaponry such as generic pistols, machine guns, sniper rifles and the Bond style briefcase rocket launcher. Oh yes.
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    • 90 Metascore
    • 88 Critic Score
    I love this game, and want to have its children.
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    • 90 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    It's not the all-encompassing experience of godly power that was suggested. You have to play it in a fairly rigid and organised fashion.
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    • 90 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Blending RPG features seamlessly with action elements and wrapping it all up with one of the better narratives to grace a PC game.
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    • 90 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    The custom options are outstanding and there's tons of hidden stuff to find. The only real drawback are the painfully long loading times.
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    • 90 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    If they could have added a bit more variety, in terms of plot twists and gameplay structure this could have been a real contender.
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    • 90 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Occasionally there is a bit of slowdown, but this is a perfectly fair price to pay for the huge wide-open levels and often stunning scenery and architecture.
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    • 90 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    If I had to choose my favourite (realistic) racing game, a couple of weeks ago I would have said Colin McRae but now it's most definitely the sequel.
    • Spank!
    • 89 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    It's not a title with an immediate pull, you'll have to work at it to get something back, but it does present a breath of originality that we've been looking for some time.
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    • 89 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    One billion points for single handily dragging online RPGs out of a mire of orcs, beards and dreadful graphics. It's repetitive and shallow (kind of) but it's also amazingly beautiful, addictive and - believe it or not - socially rewarding and instructive!
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    • 89 Metascore
    • 86 Critic Score
    Everything that the original should have been.
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    • 89 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Same old gameplay which wrestling fans will lap up. There are enough new features in here to justify purchasing WWF No Mercy even if you already have "Wrestlemania 2000."
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    • 88 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    What is absolutely stunning is the total absence of formulaic gameplay. Even the best video game is somewhat formulaic after a fashion, but UFC is almost entirely unpredictable.
    • Spank!
    • 88 Metascore
    • 79 Critic Score
    It's not just doing the same rack & attack routine that it could have been, the programmers have added well thought-out missions that are good fun.
    • Spank!
    • 88 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    It combines the best of team based gaming with an authentic and therefore exciting approach to tactical ops.
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    • 88 Metascore
    • 88 Critic Score
    If you're going to buy one role playing game this year then this has to be it.
    • Spank!
    • 87 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    What MSR fails to do is generate any real adrenalin rush.
    • Spank!
    • 87 Metascore
    • 97 Critic Score
    Probably the most fun you can have with two people without having to clear up afterwards.
    • Spank!
    • 87 Metascore
    • 88 Critic Score
    The game oozes quality like a sponge saturated with some extremely viscous liquid, but it fails on the grounds of lack of innovation and occasional lapses into cliched role-playing game territory.
    • Spank!
    • 87 Metascore
    • 98 Critic Score
    I very much intend to retire from the human race and hibernate with this game.
    • Spank!
    • 87 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Serious Sam was born into a world where "Doom" has placated the need for logical thought and lives in a world governed by the visceral.
    • Spank!
    • 87 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    At last a decent comic-book conversion that is extremely playable and will even appeal to those who aren't fans of the comic.
    • Spank!
    • 86 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    What is does deliver are moments of pure fun and exhilaration, and I commend it for not trying to be anything other than a pure blast and destruction on a huge scale which is what most of us want to see.
    • Spank!
    • 86 Metascore
    • 79 Critic Score
    Story, attention to detail, stunning visuals and exceptional character AI makes a standard shooting fare, compelling and enjoyable.
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    • 86 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Slightly shallow, but good, blood-splattered fun for all that, DC 2 is at the very least one of the most graphically accomplished arcade games you'll see on the PlayStation.
    • Spank!
    • 86 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Americans + Frenchmen - Nazis = Fun
    • Spank!
    • 86 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Me, I'm gonna have another go, but I'm odd like that.
    • Spank!
    • 86 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    The real problem here is the shoulder-saggingly illogical puzzles. If you're a Monkey Island fan this is a bitter disappointment and if you're not you'll wonder what on earth all the fuss is about.
    • Spank!
    • 85 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    If you have never played a Tekken game before then prepare for perhaps the best fighting game ever, however Tekken veterans shouldn't expect too much.
    • 85 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    A technically devastating graphics engine, the funniest script in computer games history, and a soupcon of strategy, together with imaginative and variety packed action.
    • Spank!
    • 85 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Not the greatest game you'll ever play, but a good blast with plenty of atmosphere and ideas to see you through to the end.
    • Spank!
    • 85 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    People looking for a more realistic and rewarding football experience go for "ISS Pro Evolution." If a fast and not too taxing kickabout is what you want, well, you know the score with FIFA games by now.
    • Spank!
    • 85 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Frustratingly difficult at first, F355 rewards the patient gamer with an experience that just can't be beaten.
    • Spank!
    • 85 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    A bold breath of fresh air. It delivers an unrivalled single player experience and providing you have the hardware, delivers a stunningly realised world to explore. The only weak point is the combat system.
    • Spank!
    • 84 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Everything you could hope for in a Quake game is present and correct, with two glaring exceptions - mouse/keyboard control, and on-line play.
    • Spank!
    • 84 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Princess Amidala might by nice and decorative, but a convincing military leader she ain't.
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    • 84 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Allowing the kind of mass battles that we've previously only dreamed of, this epochal title gives us war and so much more.
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    • 84 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    If you're looking for no-frills old school resource management, then Red Alert 2 is what you are looking for.
    • Spank!
    • 84 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Dig below the surface however and you'll find the kind of depth that'll take weeks or even months to fully explore. A shameless clone of Sony's "Gran Turismo," and a a pretty good one too.
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    • 84 Metascore
    • 92 Critic Score
    The audio is wonderful and matches the graphics, though the storyline is fairly pointless, and there's a certain childlike quality to it that could annoy but was fine with me.
    • Spank!
    • 83 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    You can't fault the simulation, but there's not enough here to recommend it to anyone who isn't a die-hard fan of old-style aerial combat.
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    • 83 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    McRae Rally 2.0 oozes quality and demands to be played again and again.
    • Spank!
    • 83 Metascore
    • 87 Critic Score
    The overall experience could have been that much more rewarding had more attention been paid to the design.
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    • 83 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Fifa has got all the right connections while "ISS" is much better qualified to do its job.
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    • 82 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Overall this game totally rocks. I loved it.
    • Spank!
    • 82 Metascore
    • 83 Critic Score
    Removes some of the frustrations of the original game with the 5 extra careers paths, 120 new objects, 50 controllable families and addition of the genie and chemistry set.
    • Spank!
    • 82 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    AI flaws and a manual that takes rather a lot for granted make getting started a bit tedious, but when you do it's a great simulation that offers a whole lot more than the standard flight sim and a massive challenge to boot.
    • Spank!
    • 81 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    It's a competently put together shooter, but it doesn't really excel in any of the many pies it tries to place its fingers into.
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    • 81 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    An excellent homage to "GoldenEye" -- it doesn't really have anything in the way of new ideas but in some ways it's a more enjoyable single player game than "Perfect Dark."
    • Spank!
    • 81 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    What is lacking in over familiar gameplay is made up for with impressive visuals, a genuine atmosphere and very friendly features and controls.
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    • 81 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Yeah, as far as games of the genre go, this is excellent.
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    • 80 Metascore
    • 94 Critic Score
    Nothing short of epic.
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    • 80 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Like the Soup Nazi from "Seinfeld" - it demands perfection from itself, so how can it expect any less from it's customers? Tough, but rewardingly so.
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    • 80 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Hostile Waters is not only a superb PC game it's actually one of the very best games I've ever played.
    • Spank!
    • 79 Metascore
    • 88 Critic Score
    This is the best looking and most exciting version of "Bust-A-Move" so far.
    • Spank!
    • 79 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    A cracking title, that's so finely tuned and crafted as well as addictive and compelling.
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    • 79 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    If you've got a Dreamcast or N64, buy the original Wetrix - it's got more to it and the gameplay is unfettered by irritating controls.
    • Spank!
    • 78 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    The PS2 marketing machine has done it's job. Now Sony have to back it up with quality software, not limp, glitchy sequels like this.
    • Spank!
    • 78 Metascore
    • 72 Critic Score
    The problem is that the game really needed a huge injection of adrenaline, but it would appear that all that was offered was a cup of tea and a biscuit.
    • Spank!
    • 78 Metascore
    • 69 Critic Score
    There's a lot of gameplay here but most of it is either excruciatingly dull or annoyingly derivative.
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    • 78 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    A great game, and one that will keep you entertained for hours, the plot will keep you amused and the various weapons in the game will make for a great action adventure.
    • Spank!
    • 78 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Fearsome Transformer-like Mechs (robot body suits) hurtle around the screen cutting loose with the big guns, laying waste to all and sundry, coming on like stern, iron harbinger's of Armageddon - it's great.
    • Spank!
    • 78 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    It's kind of brilliant - but it's also a bit of an underachiever, considering what could have been.
    • Spank!
    • 77 Metascore
    • 65 Critic Score
    A great disappointment for PlayStation fans everywhere.
    • Spank!
    • 77 Metascore
    • 82 Critic Score
    It's still a decent blast in it's own right, just that it had potential to really excel and be top of it's class so it's a tad disappointing to see it falling short of that.
    • Spank!
    • 77 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    This is definitely a game for baseball fans.
    • Spank!
    • 77 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Resident Evil 2 forces you into a state of emotional connection - I mean for God's sake, your characters limp and hold their ribs when they're hurt! Prick me, and do I not bleed? Kill me, do I not die?
    • Spank!
    • 77 Metascore
    • 71 Critic Score
    Competently put together, with some lovely graphics at times, but totally lacking in any originality, personality or a reason to buy it.
    • Spank!
    • 76 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    The gaming equivalent of a vapid summer blockbuster: shallow, but fun while it lasts and a lot more enjoyable if you experience it with a friend.
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    • 76 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    This will gain friends more because of it's online compatibility than the quality of the actual game which is a very average and graphically unimpressive racer-by-numbers.
    • Spank!
    • 75 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    It's hard not to feel some satisfaction from decapitating an enemy with a cunningly timed swipe then watching his headless body loll for a few moments before collapsing in a heap. Or how about this - slice off a baddy's arm then pick it up and beat his mate to death with it. Blimmin' marvellous.
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    • 75 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    I'm not given to venting my spleen, but I really didn't get off on this title.
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    • 75 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    I found it a little dull, but it's not aimed at me, it's aimed at children. Who may also find it a little dull.
    • Spank!
    • 75 Metascore
    • 30 Critic Score
    If you've only got an attention span of ten minutes this is great. If you've got an IQ in double digits you should take this as a direct insult to your man/womanhood. Absolute cack.
    • Spank!
    • 75 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    It's above average but definitely not the best of mutant breed.
    • Spank!
    • 74 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    It's an RPG, and it's almost indistinguishable from every other RPG on the market. If you like them, you'll like this -- it's big, it's pretty, it's Final Fantasy with a different name.
    • Spank!
    • 74 Metascore
    • 55 Critic Score
    It's not a bad game, but there are many other games of this type that play a lot better and ultimately simulating the large vessels from the "Star Trek" universe is it's undoing.
    • Spank!
    • 74 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    About as worthwhile an investment as Russ Abbot's Party Atmosphere single, although it has to be said that the single represents considerably better value for money.
    • Spank!
    • 74 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    It's the best in the series and possibly one of the best real time strategy games around. However if you own "Settlers III" then this is more like an upgrade than a whole new game.
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    • 74 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Could have done without some of the extra resource and development bits that seem rather tagged on but still a hefty challenge for war gamers.
    • Spank!
    • 74 Metascore
    • 81 Critic Score
    If you're an RPG fan you'll enjoy it; just bear in mind you'll need to go online to best experience it.
    • Spank!
    • 73 Metascore
    • 78 Critic Score
    Certainly not the deepest title you'll ever play and the control system can be horribly frustrating, but the atmosphere makes it worth persevering with, especially if you liked the movie.
    • Spank!

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