You'd do better to get Kinect Sports instead. [Feb 2011, p.99]

A mercifully brief battle. [June 2011, p.103]

Developer Kylotonn has crafted the least appealing fantasy brawler imaginable, its stillborn mechanics drenched in over-compensatory cutscene-driven storytelling, its charms limited to the lure of unlockable combos and abilities.

Ready, Deadie, Gone. And don't come back. [Sept 2013, p.93]

Quirky but not worth the asking price. [Apr 2009, p.90]

One of gaming's greatest series bails horribly, loses its high score and sinks to a depressing new low. Truly awful.

And there's no sign of GLaDOS either. Boo! [Sept 2013, p.93]

Stagnant and lacking in substance, Battleship is a bit of a floater. [June 2012, p.105]

Becomes a mirthless, snails-pace co-op brawler set in boring marsh environments. [Christmas 2013, p.107]

It looks like it's been lazily ported from the PlayStation 2 because, frankly, it has. [July 2007, p.103]

DARK is frustrating, because that initial feeling of being a zippy blur of a vampire in a world of neon-lit night never leaves you. It's just swamped in frustrating design decisions, a script that lurches from passable to laughable, weak enemy AI, and a vortex of a lead character who's impossible to like or hate.

Avoid like you would a corpse flower. [Nov 2013, p.95]

It looks and plays like a budget title, and doesn't really offer anything new aside from curiosity value. Best left dead and buried.

A well deserved hammering. [July 2011, p.103]

A ponderous, plodding shooter with levels that drag on for aeons, that champions boring conservatism over death-defying aerobics. One of the least exciting shoot-'em-ups I've ever played.

You'd be a Raven lunatic to buy it. [Oct 2009, p.90]

More revolting than it is a revolution. [May 2009, p.87]

The new Steel Battalion is going to divide people, in case you hadn't guessed. Some players will choke on the interfacial blunders, gag at the sporadically entertaining missions and walk away calling it the worst game ever. Others, however, will regard even the flaws as a thrown gauntlet.

Strips football down and takes its soul.

Button-mashing action without depth. [Christmas 2010, p.93]

Awful - a crushing disappointment. [Oct 2010, p.102]

Tons of Nazis to shoot, but still mediocre. [Aug 2007, p.80]

On-rails action for the morally oblivious. [Jan 2012, p.100]

Zany, but this price is just ridiculous. [June 2008, p.79]

Definitely not worth the ridiculous 800 MP asking price. [Aug 2008, p.94]

We genuinely can't help but feel sorry for the art team, who've done a fantastic job of bringing the world and characters to life. These guys have clearly poured a lot of love into Lucha Fury, and it's a great shame to see amateur game design decisions kick this bucket of charm so ruthlessly down the gutter.

Great platforming, shame about the rest.

Overlord focuses too much on trying to be funny, not enough on being fun. [Jan 2016, p.85]