Caretaker certainly has potential, and it’s clear that the developer understands the horror genre. But there’s a lot missing here. With unsatisfactory investigation and a frustratingly generic villain at its core, Caretaker raises more questions than it answers. [Issue#186, p.88]

Funny at times, but not a lot of fun to play, metal wolf chaos feels too much like a relic. [Issue#182, p.85]

A handful of clever ideas hamstrung by poor execution that leaves the game a tedious grind. [Issue#178, p.86]

A mildly entertaining RPG full of technical issues and simplistic combat. [Issue#177, p.88]

A promising start gives way to an underbaked story and clunky survival mechanics.[Issue#225, p.87]

Poorly executed, lacking personality and completely disrespects your time. Avoid. [Nov 2018, p.84]

Laborious and horribly put together, Agony really will put you through hell. [Aug 2018, p.78]

A poorly polished, poorly realised and remarkably underwhelming action game. [June 2018, p.82]

The thrill of a 400-foot homer can't make up for many faults. Swing and a miss. [June 2018, p.80]

It's a genuinely bad game in every respect. [May 2018, p.82]

Somehow Dynasty Warriors 9 fails to meet even the lowest expectations.

A stealth game with frustrating AI, horrible controls, and game-breaking bugs.

Turns out that fighting the machine has rarely been this dull. [Jan 2018, p.78]

Stealth fans, heed our warning: Serial Cleaner might promise a hardcore genre fix, but behind the '70s veneer lies a game that takes pleasure in leaving you fuming. And unlike actual cleaning, it awards you with none of the satisfaction of a job well done.

Turgid storytelling, poorly explained mechanics and abysmally unoptimised code. [Sept 2017, p.86]

A sloppy sci fi swing for the Dark Souls crowd which sadly misses. [July 2017, p.82]

Fiddly mechanics and non-intuitive gameplay make this a niche within a niche. [Christmas 2016, p.90]

Like Roman Reigns, it looks the part, but the wrestling is rubbish. Scrap this and start again, 2K. [Christmas 2016, p.86]

Bustin' doesn't make us feel good. More like incredibly bored. [Oct 2016, p.103]

Frankly, we're getting tired of buying games and then waiting for them to be patched so they can actually be played. [Oct 2016, p.100]

Ditches tricks for a succession of lame ideas that don't belong anywhere near a biking game. [Sept 2016, p.87]

Amiable adventure game that gets more annoying as it drags towards its lacklustre end. [Sept 2016, p.79]

A frustrating, joyless platformer that buries its few good ideas under apathetic nostalgia. [Sept 2016, p.77]

Confusing for newbs and too shallow for fans, but has moments of flashy satisfaction. [Aug 2016, p.86]

Will have you glued to your screen...waiting for it to do something. Spare yourself the pain. [July 2016, p.82]

One of the worst titles on Xbox One, and another savage disappointment for rugby fans. [June 2016, p.87]

Tries to address fans' wishes, but wobbles under the weight of its hollow generosity. [June 2016, p.86]

Dreary and glitchy, a reminder that Hitman 2: Silent Assassin isn't as good as you recall. [May 2016, p.78]

Shooting is so bland that firing a gun carries all the excitement of filing a tax return. [Apr 2016, p.91]

Both glitches and interface niggles conspire to leave our timbers feeling thoroughly unshivered. [Apr 2016, p.91]

It's pretty ropey, and there's little satisfaction to be had from getting through one door only to find more of the same in the next area. [Apr 2016, p.90]

Under-featured and poorly conceived, this won't appeal to fans of the Warriors games, while Arslan fans [Arsheads?] are better off rewatching the original anime series. [Apr 2016, p.79]

For a more exciting game, try playing Scrabble. Alone. [March 2016, p.87]

It's no fun, and charmless to boot. [Feb 2016, p.87]

One or two half-decent gags aside, Deadpool is a dreary, lumpen, vapid and altogether forgettable action game with an exasperatingly garrulous lead. [Feb 2016, p.85]

Hindered by generic looks, technical issues and a hit detection that could barely flail its way out of a paper bag. Perhaps there's a reason we've moved on from medieval times. [Feb 2016, p.84]

Without wishing to be Volga, this is a real kick in the Urals. Punitive old-school design meets needless contemporary complexities, with rehashed set-pieces Putin the final nail in the coffin.

Overlord focuses too much on trying to be funny, not enough on being fun. [Jan 2016, p.85]

Dying is more annoying than frightening. [Christmas 2015, p.83]

The training wheels rarely come off. [Dec 2015, p.87]

With cheap presentation, bland art and pratfalls so lacking in impact that it's not even fun to fail, Pumped BMX+ is a bare-bones port that struggles to earn its place on the big screen. [Dec 2015, p.86]

There are brief hints at what might have been, but otherwise this is a walking dud. [Dec 2015, p.81]

For every one success, there are four other times when the game gets it wrong through fault of your own, and you end up drowning in toxic guff. Which, coincidentally, is exactly what this game is. [Nov 2015, p.87]

One of gaming's greatest series bails horribly, loses its high score and sinks to a depressing new low. Truly awful.

A promising concept is steamrollered in a game that doesn't really work as a platformer and breaks down entirely as a racer. We'd rather be kicked in the shins for eight hours than play this again.

Your presence doesn't seem to matter. [Sept 2015, p.111]

This is just a huge missed-steak. [Aug 2015, p.93]

Too meandering and dull to work as a twitchy arcade game, Spectra is saved from the ignominy of an even lower score by its sparkling soundtrack. A treat for the ears, then, but little more.

Fertile with good ideas, but most of them fail to bloom to their full potential thanks to a wonky money system that slows the pace of progression down to that of a clapped-out tractor.

It worked as a free demo, but now it costs real money, it'll leave you feeling Fleeced & Furious. [June 2015, p.91]

A real shame. It's a good concept for a game, let down by poor gameplay and a story that isn't interesting or told well enough to seek out.

A ponderous, plodding shooter with levels that drag on for aeons, that champions boring conservatism over death-defying aerobics. One of the least exciting shoot-'em-ups I've ever played.

Any Temple Run player will be familiar with the basic premise, and Infinity Runner does little to shake things up – instead delivering trial-and-error gameplay, dodgy production values and repeated.

If you want to waste your money on a broken game that barely inspired a smile from us, buy Goat Simulator. Presumably, if Coffee Stain Studios tried making Hilarity Simulator it'd be set in a morgue.

Fairly rubbish. [May 2015, p.80]

An interesting twist, executed poorly. [March 2015, p.86]

Easily the worst sports game we've played. [March 2015, p.83]

Too much murder, not enough '80s hair. [March 2015, p.83]

It's just a bit pointless, really, when all anyone wants to do is play Tetris. [Feb 2015, p.83]

One to avoid, we think - though the creepy trailer, with a father and his two dead-eyed sons is worth watching. It's like something out of Twin Peaks. [Feb 2015, p.83]

A poor attempt at a kids' party game and one that's just as unfunny, repetitive and dull as the Rabbid 'stars' are. [Feb 2015, p.79]

Apologising for broken content with more broken content feels like a bit of a slap in the face, and Dead Kings' confusing, far-from-user-friendly new mechanics make this DLC a bit of a disappointing prospect.

Paper armies are all the rage these days; this is just enraging. [Jan 2015, p.89]

It's hard to overlook the lack of a killer hook. [Dec 2014, p.87]

A large, open world and plenty of options can't make up for trainwreck technology, bad writing and clumsy combat. [Oct 2014, p.93]

It boggles the mind that these kinds of games are still being made. [Aug 2014, p.83]

Like the Transformers games, this is one of those shallow, mandated movie tie-ins. [July 2014, p.87]

A completely unremarkable WWII shooter with more bugs than Pixar's second feature film. There's nothing offensive about it, it's just subpar in every possible way, from AI to controls to visuals to voice acting. Feels like a launch window 360 game.

An interesting concept that's backed up with almost nothing of consequence. Most of the game involves plodding around pressing one button, and even the puzzles solve themselves.

A terribly slim idea for a game, with none of the slick execution, elegant scoring or busy leaderboards to make you want to improve, or even bother trying again. [May 2014, p.93]

It's so terrible it nearly transcends its own boundaries and becomes something jaw-droppingly incredible - being memorably crap. [Apr 2014, p.89]

Attempts to play the main character off as an unlikeable rogue immediately fall flat. Yaiba the ninja is awful to be around, while Yaiba the game is uninspired and technically shallow.

This parasitic barnacle seeks only to corrode and cash in on joy. [Feb 2014, p.89]

The controls are so badly implemented, you feel like you're fighting with the game. [Feb 2014, p.87]

A half-baked mess. [Feb 2014, p.86]

This is impossible to get excited about. [Jan 2014, p.84]

Becomes a mirthless, snails-pace co-op brawler set in boring marsh environments. [Christmas 2013, p.107]

It's so similar to Spongebob, Nickelodeon must have a template for offensively awful games. [Christmas 2013, p.107]

Occasionally difficult, never fun. [Christmas 2013, p.107]

A shambolic demonstration of motion control you shouldn't allow within a hundred miles of your Xbox One.

The idea of Deadfall, as a genuine raid on a legitimate tomb harks back to a fondly remembered era of Lara Croft. Losing Croft's platforming for a heavier puzzle element could have been great. Unfortunately, Deadfall Adventures fails to satisfy on either of the two goals it sets itself. The gunplay is juddering and weak, and the puzzles lack depth and satisfaction. Even a cabal of supernatural Nazis can't save this one.

While it's a noble attempt to change pace and style, Last Light was balanced well - this breaks that balance. [Dec 2013, p.93]

Avoid like you would a corpse flower. [Nov 2013, p.95]

Lost Planet 3's basic competence doesn't mask an almost complete reliance on recycled fetch quests. Its story ends on a relative high, but once the pace finally picks up in the final couple of hours, it's much too late and the 14-hour slog to get there isn't worth the payoff.

I've not felt wronged by a game to this degree in a long time. Hatred just about captures the emotion. Killer is Dead has the kernel of an acceptable game, swathed in unlikable characters, a Benny Hill attitude to women, alienating self-regard and some obnoxious gameplay decisions. It's impossible to recommend.

Ready, Deadie, Gone. And don't come back. [Sept 2013, p.93]

And there's no sign of GLaDOS either. Boo! [Sept 2013, p.93]

Lock it to a railing and leave it there. [Sept 2013, p.91]

A startling glimpse into true hell. [Sept 2013, p.86]

Sadly, the one time we really enjoyed ourselves was watching a bullet sink into a camel's buttock. [Aug 2013, p.87]

Most free to play games are engineered for compulsive play, but Spartacus Legends is about as addictive as swallowing sand. Thumbs down.

All that said, Scourge is cheap, and if you're looking for a no-frills co-op shooter to keep you and three friends mildly entertained, you could do worse.

Way of the Dogg is a squandered opportunity to fill a genre gap in the Arcade. It's a quick hour's job to mop up 300G, though. So there's always that.

The unkindest cut of all is that you only rarely get to actually command the Enterprise, and when you do, the implementation would disgrace the average Call of Duty turret sequence.

Let's hope this failed attempt doesn't deter other people from trying. [May 2013, p.85]

It's so much easier to forgive glitches, outdated visuals and flick-book framerate when you've got a friend laughing at them too, but this doesn't mean we should forgive them. Should Riptide wash up on your shore, you'd best throw in back in.

Between getting stuck on invisible walls, being forced to watch awkward cut-scene transitions, and having to repeatedly restart at a checkpoint due to a horribly executed platform sequence I can honestly say I didn't enjoy a second of it. Everything about it feels cheap and hastily thrown together.

Once you've stabbed one, run past one, and been killed by one, you've played enough. And that two minute process is not worth any amount of money.