If you like Whiteout... try Liquid Paper... perhaps on your eyeballs, to block out this eyesore of a game. [Feb 2003, p.109]

It's one of the worst-looking titles ever released on the PS1. [June 2003, p.107]

There's something fundamentally wrong about the fact that you can beat American Idol - and not miss a single note - with the sound off. [Feb 2004, p.101]

The "budget" price of $20 is about $15 too much. [Aug 2006, p.75]

Almost nothing about this game has any redeeming value. The levels are dull and repetitive. The control is whack. The gameplay is busted. It's boring. It's dopey. [Jan 2004, p.123]

The game is one long wave of monotonous, sloppy combat. [Jan 2005, p.102]

No other game in the PSP launch window is so miserably underachieving. [June 2005, p.101]

All the cars suffer from terrible handling physics, which are only made worse by the appallingly sensitive setup on the analog controls. [Mar 2003, p.114]

One big piece of crap...The pacing is slow and boring, the chicks aren't attractive, and the gameplay is poorly constructed. [Oct 2004, p.98]

Its arenas are cramped, flat, and bland, and its gameplay structure is dated, boring, and laughable. [Dec 2003, p.152]

Surely, I thought, the challenge level has a setting other than "stupid easy" or "mind-bogglingly confusing because the mutant aiming system bites." I thought wrong. Encounters in Space is just that bad. [Dec 2003, p.164]

Sadists can now add a new option to their perverse torture list: Play Evolution Snowboarding. [Feb 2003, p.101]

Insert "cruel and unusual punishment" or similar prison-term jokesterism here. Bonus points for working in the words "salad" and "toss." [Apr 2006, p.82]

It's as if someone took the "Prince of Persia" formula, added a dash of digital Halle Berry, and then gave this recipe to an imbecile for actual execution. Everything that "Prince" did oh so right has been oh so bungled here. [Sept 2004, p.89]

Perhaps the biggest problem with Ape Escape Academy is the fact that you literally spend more time waiting than you do playing.

Great for players who have absolutely no desire to experience what real poker is like. [Dec 2005, p.132]

That's the worst kind of game design--the kind that only the people who made it can understand. [Oct. 2006, p.83]

Don’t expect an accurate depiction of movement, however, as poor physics dominate a lousy game. [Feb 2002, p.108]

Lots of you, it seems, will buy any old crap. [Jan 2002, p.147]

I'd rather play the Java-based pool game on Yahoo. [Feb 2006, p.84]

Appropriately enough, InuYasha plays like self-insert fan fiction: It's just as trite and doubly as embarrassing. [Feb 2005, p.85]

Painfully amateur and slow. [June 2002, p.101]

It doesn't offer anything new to the genre, it's not cheap enough to be considered a bargain-basement alternative to anything, and it has about as much personality as cabbage. [Sept 2004, p.92]

The monotony of item collecting will turn anyone off long before frustration over poor control sets in. [May 2005, p.96]

Virtually unplayable. [Nov 2001, p.152]

Worthless combos, horrible-looking characters, poor level design, inexcusably low production value (no speech...at all), and absolutely pathetic special attacks that take five seconds to complete. [Sept 2004, p.97]

DICE is so utterly amateurish it's almost depressing. Stay very, very far away. [Nov 2005, p.96]

Terrible…let’s face it, driving straight for seconds at a time can’t be the basis for a great video game. [Feb 2002, p.117]