Gamers not only get tons of extra movie action but also get to run, kick, and shoot in a fully realized Matrix universe.

The game is by no means a weak attempt to cash in on a franchise...Gamers not only get tons of extra movie action but also get to run, kick, and shoot in a fully realized Matrix universe.

The game is by no means a weak attempt to cash in on a franchise...Gamers not only get tons of extra movie action but also get to run, kick, and shoot in a fully realized Matrix universe.

The game is by no means a weak attempt to cash in on a franchise...Gamers not only get tons of extra movie action but also get to run, kick, and shoot in a fully realized Matrix universe.

Playing alone or with online teams (Xbox Live hooks you up), you clean kraut house with sniper rifles, machine guns, and rocket launchers.

Heck, even if you aren’t a hoops fan, there’s plenty of unintentional humor to appreciate: Seeing Yao Ming dunk on Bill Walton alone is worth the price of admission.

Heck, even if you aren’t a hoops fan, there’s plenty of unintentional humor to appreciate: Seeing Yao Ming dunk on Bill Walton alone is worth the price of admission.

Heck, even if you aren’t a hoops fan, there’s plenty of unintentional humor to appreciate: Seeing Yao Ming dunk on Bill Walton alone is worth the price of admission.

While most of Revenge’s game play involves turning bad guys into kebab, the game’s strict homage to the comic gives it more depth.

While most of Revenge’s game play involves turning bad guys into kebab, the game’s strict homage to the comic gives it more depth.

Though it’s sure to have Senate subcommittees soiling their Depends and declaring the end of Western civilization, jaded gamers will no doubt dig the surprisingly amusing vocal and visual gags that spice up what would otherwise be a moderately paced, story-driven shoot-em-up.

While most of Revenge’s game play involves turning bad guys into kebab, the game’s strict homage to the comic gives it more depth.

Freedom is king here, and you’ll know what we mean the first time you tear through a fast-food drive-thru or scare shoppers to death in a Los Angeles, Tokyo, or London mall.

During this age of sanitary smart-bomb warfare, this stunning first-person shooter gives you a taste of the good ol’ days of killing—you know, bamboo traps, bloody ambushes, villages under siege.

Despite the occasionally clunky controls, Emperor’s Tomb does impress with its hand-to-hand brawls (Ms. Croft would be lost without HER weapons) and the free-range exploration allowed within each level.

Most of the story is conveyed through masterful animation and acute facial expressions.

While it would be impossible for the game to mimic the raw emotion and chaos that defined this mission-turned-disaster in real life, the graphics are the best we’ve seen on a battlefield.

The game’s pace rarely manages to grind past second gear, making this a much longer haul than it really should be.

A graphically slick martial arts game that’s head-and-bloody-shoulders above the competition for the visible damage you can inflict on opponents.

Crush Hour is like some hick dream—demolition derby mated with pro wrestling—that actually gets old pretty damn quick.

Crush Hour is like some hick dream—demolition derby mated with pro wrestling—that actually gets old pretty damn quick.

The closest we’ll get to interactive anime, this game couldn’t be more Japanese if it featured a ninja penguin schoolgirl getting bukkaked.

If you’re the kind of guy who likes to chop his prey into Sizzlean before he gets a whiff of your bad man musk, then the ninjas of Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven are right up your dojo.

Hollywood always screws up a good, cheesy kung fu movie by disrupting it with a plot (Jackie Chan, we’re looking at your outtakes reel), but the B-movie studio in this video game doesn’t make that mistake.

Despite the occasionally clunky controls, Emperor’s Tomb does impress with its hand-to-hand brawls (Ms. Croft would be lost without HER weapons) and the free-range exploration allowed within each level.

Vexx is a curiously grim exercise featuring gargantuan free-form levels fraught with danger and a surprisingly combat-heavy fighting system of combos, uppercuts, and vicious slashes.

Vexx is a curiously grim exercise featuring gargantuan free-form levels fraught with danger and a surprisingly combat-heavy fighting system of combos, uppercuts, and vicious slashes.

Vexx is a curiously grim exercise featuring gargantuan free-form levels fraught with danger and a surprisingly combat-heavy fighting system of combos, uppercuts, and vicious slashes.

With amazing visuals and an arsenal that would make Saddam Hussein soil his prayer mat, C&C Generals is war at its flashiest.

Fortunately for our loved ones, the urge to boot up a PS2 to waste entire months role-playing as an Orc who sells pomegranates or a Warrior who slays stray cats won’t be nearly so compelling thanks to graphics that often look like flattened dragon dung.

The first Unreal made its name on, well, its unreal visuals, but we had no idea how saucy a first-person shooter could look until we tried the sequel.

Clunky camera moves hit the occasional sour note, but the eventual showdown with the Dark Lord Currently Known as Satan makes it all well worth the ride.

The sharp graphics and advanced jiggle physics will no doubt prick the interest of lonely gamers, but surprisingly, the game's volleyball action is pretty solid. And that's the most important thing…right?

If the ensuing police brutality doesn’t mold you into the model Wheelman, then having to endure those whiny English cop sirens surely will.

The battles themselves are chaotically free-for-all, allowing up to four monsters to grapple hand-to-hand and even rip up handy lampposts, buildings, and cars to bludgeon enemies.

Unlike past SimCities that dealt in generalities, this one takes a more hands-on approach.

Looks beautiful, and is one of the best shooters we've ever played.

Once you get past all the gamesmanship, you can concentrate on bitch-slapping Mother Nature by creating twisted beasts that would make Jack Hanna brown his khakis.

Unlike the previous Sims games, all of these citizens are controlled by actual people. In other words, you might want to double-check the genders of those two cuties before you try to score the world’s first virtual hot-tub ménage à trois.

While the kill-and-kill-again objective may be low in frills, the simple, straightforward action is a welcome break from a sea of complex games that currently take longer to set up than to play.

Both the solo and multiplayer options deliver the explosive goods, but for maximum entertainment value try betting with friends on the strategy-based Conquest mode. Loser has to sponge-bathe Jabba!

Stealing the best gadgets and characters from the movies, NightFire lets you decide how to topple the requisite megalomanical villain: Use stealth and gizmos (like Eurobabe-revealing x-ray specs—thanks, Q!) or go in guns blazing.

This is actually one of the best adventure games we’ve played in a long time—even if pseudo-Conan is killing beasts by the thousands with something from Toys “R” Us.

We forsee you buying this game, enjoying it at first, getting frustrated at certain parts, then putting it on your shelf after you’re done and rarely playing it again.

We forsee you buying this game, enjoying it at first, getting frustrated at certain parts, then putting it on your shelf after you’re done and rarely playing it again.

You do get to take on all of the classic villains in Metropolis—Braniac 13 and Lex Luthor, among others—but not before fighting through a number of mind-numbing missions with unrecognizable characters.

We forsee you buying this game, enjoying it at first, getting frustrated at certain parts, then putting it on your shelf after you’re done and rarely playing it again.

Stealing the best gadgets and characters from the movies, NightFire lets you decide how to topple the requisite megalomanical villain: Use stealth and gizmos (like Eurobabe-revealing x-ray specs—thanks, Q!) or go in guns blazing.

To hell with lame gunshot wounds and other gang violence. This game’s fatalities include creative beheadings and dismemberments that would make Hannibal green with envy.

Stealing the best gadgets and characters from the movies, NightFire lets you decide how to topple the requisite megalomanical villain: Use stealth and gizmos (like Eurobabe-revealing x-ray specs-thanks, Q!) or go in guns blazing.

Stealing the best gadgets and characters from the movies, NightFire lets you decide how to topple the requisite megalomanical villain: Use stealth and gizmos (like Eurobabe-revealing x-ray specs—thanks, Q!) or go in guns blazing.

To hell with lame gunshot wounds and other gang violence. This game's fatalities include creative beheadings and dismemberments that would make Hannibal green with envy.

To hell with lame gunshot wounds and other gang violence. This game’s fatalities include creative beheadings and dismemberments that would make Hannibal green with envy.

Yes, it’s half-amusing to see Marge do a 360 with her beehive do for, oh, about 10 seconds, but really, let’s just keep the skateboarding to experts like Bart and Tony Hawk.

After playing this game you’ll understand exactly why, short of a crate of opium-laced Snickers bars, nothing is more satisfying than leveling city blocks by the dozen with a 50-ton robot.

The only "improvements" consist of a slew of extra outfits, yawn-inducing training missions, and a handful of bonuses that only the most avid Gear geek could appreciate. If that’s you, fine.

In addition to playing on boring, traditional courses like Pebble Beach with the good ol’ boys, you can take on a quartet of kilt-wearing Scotsmen in the middle of the Amazon.

You’ll be sold the second you get into a gang bang with the song “Beat It” playing in the background. It just doesn’t get any better than that.

In addition to playing on boring, traditional courses like Pebble Beach with the good ol’ boys, you can take on a quartet of kilt-wearing Scotsmen in the middle of the Amazon.

In addition to playing on boring, traditional courses like Pebble Beach with the good ol’ boys, you can take on a quartet of kilt-wearing Scotsmen in the middle of the Amazon.

Both the solo and multiplayer options deliver the explosive goods, but for maximum entertainment value try betting with friends on the strategy-based Conquest mode. Loser has to sponge-bathe Jabba!

Freed from time constraints, you now accomplish level-specific goals—like outmaneuvering skater-busting cops—to advance while on the lookout for secret minigames.

Freed from time constraints, you now accomplish level-specific goals—like outmaneuvering skater-busting cops—to advance while on the lookout for secret minigames.

Freed from time constraints, you now accomplish level-specific goals—like outmaneuvering skater-busting cops—to advance while on the lookout for secret minigames.

The graphics and sound (enhanced by the actual voices of the movie’s stars) were well-rendered and intricate indeed, but players soon grew bored with repetitive thrusting and parrying against evil Sauron’s monstrous hordes.

Confused by the sometimes clunky camera angles? You can deliver your skull-smashing, thong-flashing high kicks in soothing slow motion.

Confused by the sometimes clunky camera angles? You can deliver your skull-smashing, thong-flashing high kicks in soothing slow motion.

Confused by the sometimes clunky camera angles? You can deliver your skull-smashing, thong-flashing high kicks in soothing slow motion.

It’s hard to diss a game that looks so realistic (Iverson’s still rocking ’rows), but there’s just something wrong when the only way to stop anyone from driving to the bucket is by taking away their keys to the stadium.

It’s hard to diss a game that looks so realistic (Iverson’s still rocking ’rows), but there’s just something wrong when the only way to stop anyone from driving to the bucket is by taking away their keys to the stadium.

It’s hard to diss a game that looks so realistic (Iverson’s still rocking ’rows), but there’s just something wrong when the only way to stop anyone from driving to the bucket is by taking away their keys to the stadium.

A fun and novel idea.

Hot Pursuit not only gives you the keys to more than 20 exotic cars, it also gives you the unsurpassed joy of leaving traffic cops in the dust.

The game play is so tedious.

Fate also dispenses with T2’s cyborg-boy love plot, so you can focus on blasting titanium drones into nuts and bolts.

Fate also dispenses with T2’s cyborg-boy love plot, so you can focus on blasting titanium drones into nuts and bolts.

Incredibly atmospheric (it makes great use of flickering lights, icy landscapes, and foreboding corridors) without skimping on the screams, The Thing is a terrifying battle to the finish.

Pac’s newest adventure involves playing cheesy boards and minigames with his sappy friends (obviously his wife’s pals), who look like they hopped out of a Barney video.

Die-hard fans (all three of you) will be glad to know that the game religiously follows the flick; there’s no plot, plenty of bad acting, and loads of cheesy CGI zombies for you to Ginsu to bits.

Pac’s newest adventure involves playing cheesy boards and minigames with his sappy friends (obviously his wife’s pals), who look like they hopped out of a Barney video.

The sickest shooter this side of Xbox killer app "Halo."

The sickest shooter this side of Xbox killer app "Halo."

The sickest shooter this side of Xbox killer app "Halo."

One shot, one kill—this unforgiving, ultrarealistic console shooter is unlike any other.

True to its name, this punishing game takes some of the wussiness out of baseball, and we’re not just talking collisions at the plate.

Painstaking detail and suspenseful play make this a thinking sofa slug’s delight, though the deliberate pace might frustrate action fans.

This up-and-coming franchise has been breathing down Madden’s hairy back for years, and now it might finally have the ammo to leapfrog him.

Incredibly atmospheric (it makes great use of flickering lights, icy landscapes, and foreboding corridors) without skimping on the screams, The Thing is a terrifying battle to the finish.

Incredibly atmospheric (it makes great use of flickering lights, icy landscapes, and foreboding corridors) without skimping on the screams, The Thing is a terrifying battle to the finish.

The body count is rivaled only by novel game-play features and production values that make blood spurts akin to snowflakes-no two are the same.

Eye-popping.

Improves upon already stunning graphics and amps game play with faster speed and such fresh gridiron moves as sidearm passing and—wahoo!—gang tackling.

The problem here is Blitz is a lot like Jerry Springer: if you’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen them all. This year’s edition does little to dispel that theory, since it comes with only a handful of new features, none of which include online play.

With its tongue-in-cheek take on street life, this consummate B-baller keeps it more real than most of today’s endorsement-whore NBA superstars.

Sega added online play, a deeper Franchise Mode, and may have made the biggest acquisition of the off-season by reeling in ESPN to punch up their pigskin.

A robust online play mode is just impressive enough to make us think that this franchise is back on the cusp of respectability. But then again, that’s what everyone has been saying about the Cincinnati Bengals for the past 10 years.

They loaded this year’s ultrarealistic game up with a slew of new features that include online play, a huge arcade-style training camp, and a nifty play creator that’s so versatile that you can have receivers run pass routes that spell your name.

With its tongue-in-cheek take on street life, this consummate B-baller keeps it more real than most of today’s endorsement-whore NBA superstars.