Eighty-four hyper-detailed players are represented, or you can create your own baller and go rags-to-riches, racking up pimp-wear and "Scarface"-worthy real estate.

Instead of the usual push-button pugilism, throw punches using the analog stick—the direction and speed of the stick determine the swing; the trigger controls handle bobbing, weaving, and blocking.

Instead of the usual push-button pugilism, throw punches using the analog stick-the direction and speed of the stick determine the swing; the trigger controls handle bobbing, weaving, and blocking.

Eighty-four hyper-detailed players are represented, or you can create your own baller and go rags-to-riches, racking up pimp-wear and "Scarface"-worthy real estate.

Guaranteed to raise the purple manga-style hairs on your neck.

Passing and shooting in these high-scoring battles is as easy as squeezing the trigger on an Uzi, but complicated button-mashing for trick moves, muddy graphics, and a schizophrenic soundtrack of Method Man, TLC, and Foo Fighters all draw red cards.

Passing and shooting in these high-scoring battles is as easy as squeezing the trigger on an Uzi, but complicated button-mashing for trick moves, muddy graphics, and a schizophrenic soundtrack of Method Man, TLC, and Foo Fighters all draw red cards.

Easy-to-master controls, new camera angles, customizable teams, legendary players like Babe Ruth and Jackie Robinson—don’t wait for Mother Nature’s lazy ass; spring starts now.

The concept and play consistently deal a royal flush, just ignore the choppy visuals, which can irritate like a pesky infection picked up at Miss Kitty’s Cat House.

The game play has been streamlined for less fussy PS2 players. Plus there’s a single-player mode, where AI teammates respond to 160 voice commands. And the online levels—with up to 16 players barking through headsets simultaneously—is enough to make you postpone your pee break for hours.

What sets Battlefield apart is that you can pilot choppers and tanks to a cool ’60s soundtrack. And you can even cue up “Ride of the Valkyries” for that air cavalry attack. Sure smells like victory to us.

Told in fragments along the way, the story resolves differently, depending on whether you torture and kill other humans or help them survive. Either way, the eerie atmosphere will scare you straighter than an "Oz" box set.

The play and story will ring familiar to anyone who’s played the "Grand Theft Auto" series—which is good—but the guy responsible for the crummy graphics should slip on a pair of cement galoshes and take a long walk off a short pier.

Told in fragments along the way, the story resolves differently, depending on whether you torture and kill other humans or help them survive. Either way, the eerie atmosphere will scare you straighter than an "Oz" box set.

But this isn’t just car bombs and cement shoes; characters can marry into families, sire their own shifty progeny, and watch them assume seats of power. It ain’t pretty, but it’s business.

Set the damage mode to high and tires explode, windshields shatter, and fenders crumple, all dependent on your lousy maneuvering.

The concept and play consistently deal a royal flush, just ignore the choppy visuals, which can irritate like a pesky infection picked up at Miss Kitty’s Cat House.

You'll add valuable mech piloting skills to your résumé in punishing combat situations that are as close as you'll ever get to the real thing...were these machines not totally fictional.

In online, single player, or cooperative play, perform slick maneuvers like rooftop bike jumps, and earn “Bond Moment” points for unlockable weapons and levels.

You can also race through a shitstorm of artillery fire in a Porsche Cayenne Turbo (complete with “Q-cloak” invisibility feature) or missile-firing Triumph Daytona 600.

You can also race through a shitstorm of artillery fire in a Porsche Cayenne Turbo (complete with “Q-cloak” invisibility feature) or missile-firing Triumph Daytona 600.

The play and story will ring familiar to anyone who’s played the "Grand Theft Auto" series—which is good—but the guy responsible for the crummy graphics should slip on a pair of cement galoshes and take a long walk off a short pier.

Ignore the nonsensical story—centered on Mordoc, the vampire king, and his Onyx Tower of Eldritch—and stay on course with your barbarian, dwarf, cleric, or elf, traversing time and eerie environments.

It ain’t groundbreaking, but who cares?

Ignore the nonsensical story-centered on Mordoc, the vampire king, and his Onyx Tower of Eldritch-and stay on course with your barbarian, dwarf, cleric, or elf, traversing time and eerie environments.

The deadly combination of shopping for new murder gear and completing missions of mass destruction make this game more addictive than caramel-coated OxyContin.

The deadly combination of shopping for new murder gear and completing missions of mass destruction make this game more addictive than caramel-coated OxyContin.

Dispense with kicking and doodle-heavy playbooks, and deploy between-the-leg laterals and double reverses, plus a mess of excellent unsportsmanlike, showboating taunts.

Dispense with kicking and doodle-heavy playbooks, and deploy between-the-leg laterals and double reverses, plus a mess of excellent unsportsmanlike, showboating taunts.

Dispense with kicking and doodle-heavy playbooks, and deploy between-the-leg laterals and double reverses, plus a mess of excellent unsportsmanlike, showboating taunts.

Before you get your first set of prints back, you’ll find clues in maps and diaries—even encounter the phantasmagoric—to unravel a plot with more slimy twists than a barrel of Udon noodles.

Like the movie, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is quite an ambitious undertaking. Unlike the movie, it doesn’t consistently deliver the goods.

While the tough, stealthy game play won’t grip you in a chokehold of novelty and surprise, it flashes a lethal look and feel.

But don’t take our word for it, because Prince won Best Action-Adventure Game at this year’s E3 expo. So it’s got that going for it…which is nice.

While the tough, stealthy game play won’t grip you in a chokehold of novelty and surprise, it flashes a lethal look and feel.

And with the engaging story, plus the graphic-novel presentation (boxes of action and text are constantly popping up on-screen), this truth is worth uncovering.

And with the engaging story, plus the graphic-novel presentation (boxes of action and text are constantly popping up on-screen), this truth is worth uncovering.

And with the engaging story, plus the graphic-novel presentation (boxes of action and text are constantly popping up on-screen), this truth is worth uncovering.

The game takes hits for its often crappy camera angles. Still, it’ll satisfy your raging blood lust.

A subversive parody that cleverly indicts our depraved culture? If it makes you feel better about having a shitload of sadistic fun, sure.

But don't take our word for it, because Prince won Best Action-Adventure Game at this year's E3 expo. So it's got that going for it…which is nice.

Impresses with smooth, realistic game play and rib-cage-crushing intensity.

And with the engaging story, plus the graphic-novel presentation (boxes of action and text are constantly popping up on-screen), this truth is worth uncovering.

But don't take our word for it, because Prince won Best Action-Adventure Game at this year's E3 expo. So it's got that going for it…which is nice.

And once you learn to handle swapping positions at the tap of a button, you'll realize that beneath the cuddly, kiddie veneer lurks a fiercely competitive game that's all about spanking the baby powder off your opponents.

But don’t take our word for it, because Prince won Best Action-Adventure Game at this year’s E3 expo. So it’s got that going for it…which is nice.

The game takes hits for its often crappy camera angles. Still, it’ll satisfy your raging blood lust.

After a thorough training mode on the finer points on scrums, tries, and lineouts, one (or two players cooperatively) can take the controls and realistically injure opponents on soggy, mud-rutted pitches. Think "Madden NFL Football" minus the pads, steroids, and senile announcer, mate.

The game takes hits for its often crappy camera angles. Still, it'll satisfy your raging blood lust.

The shooting control takes some getting used to, but stick with it and you’ll advance through a solid plot laced with a meaty hip-hop soundtrack, celebrity voices, and...drumroll...a playable Snoop Dogg! You’ll never need MapQuest in L.A. again.

The shooting control takes some getting used to, but stick with it and you’ll advance through a solid plot laced with a meaty hip-hop soundtrack, celebrity voices, and…drumroll…a playable Snoop Dogg! You’ll never need MapQuest in L.A. again.

The shooting control takes some getting used to, but stick with it and you’ll advance through a solid plot laced with a meaty hip-hop soundtrack, celebrity voices, and…drumroll…a playable Snoop Dogg! You’ll never need MapQuest in L.A. again.

Take one part "Grand Theft Auto" and one part car combat game "Twisted Metal Black." Mix, ingest, and vomit. Stare wistfully into bowl. What could have been a great game—car carnage with heavy artillery against gangs in cities devastated by a mysterious plague—is only mediocre.

For immersing entertainment, this game is totally up our halfpipe.

For immersing entertainment, this game is totally up our halfpipe.

For immersing entertainment, this game is totally up our halfpipe.

The drab pacing isn’t helped by clunky controls and muddy graphics.

Executing gravity-defying jumps and mean combos in the well-rendered environments is a piece of cake, though a longer game would have iced it for us.

Take one part "Grand Theft Auto" and one part car combat game "Twisted Metal Black." Mix, ingest, and vomit. Stare wistfully into bowl. What could have been a great game—car carnage with heavy artillery against gangs in cities devastated by a mysterious plague—is only mediocre.

Take one part "Grand Theft Auto" and one part car combat game "Twisted Metal Black." Mix, ingest, and vomit. Stare wistfully into bowl. What could have been a great game—car carnage with heavy artillery against gangs in cities devastated by a mysterious plague—is only mediocre.

Like the movie, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is quite an ambitious undertaking. Unlike the movie, it doesn’t consistently deliver the goods.

Sadly, the sloppy controls and graphics make the game about as fun as a blow to the brainpan with a spiked bat.

Sadly, the sloppy controls and graphics make the game about as fun as a blow to the brainpan with a spiked bat.

It’s all so much like the Xbox version, in fact, that you might wonder why the hell you spent money on it a second time.

With Heroes, D&D has severed its dorky roots in favor of fast-paced, arcade-style hackin' 'n' slashin'.

Fanatics will tweak tire pressure, suspension, and build dynasties, alliances, and sponsorships; rookies can learn the nuances of drafting, passing, and holding position on dozens of real-world tracks.

After a thorough training mode on the finer points on scrums, tries, and lineouts, one (or two players cooperatively) can take the controls and realistically injure opponents on soggy, mud-rutted pitches. Think "Madden NFL Football" minus the pads, steroids, and senile announcer, mate.

Fanatics will tweak tire pressure, suspension, and build dynasties, alliances, and sponsorships; rookies can learn the nuances of drafting, passing, and holding position on dozens of real-world tracks.

Fanatics will tweak tire pressure, suspension, and build dynasties, alliances, and sponsorships; rookies can learn the nuances of drafting, passing, and holding position on dozens of real-world tracks.

While this muck jam has expansive environments and great graphics, it also boasts as much originality as a Winger sing-along chorus. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun.

While this muck jam has expansive environments and great graphics, it also boasts as much originality as a Winger sing-along chorus. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun.

Confused by the sometimes clunky camera angles? You can deliver your skull-smashing, thong-flashing high kicks in soothing slow motion.

Splintered wooden furniture doubles as vampire vaporizing shivs to expand on your already wide variety of exterminating capabilities.

A must for those out there who still like their CGI old school.

Splintered wooden furniture doubles as vampire vaporizing shivs to expand on your already wide variety of exterminating capabilities.

Splintered wooden furniture doubles as vampire vaporizing shivs to expand on your already wide variety of exterminating capabilities.

But the game's star is really Nevin's cool, morphable costume, which gives new meaning to the phrase "class action suit."

But the game's star is really Nevin's cool, morphable costume, which gives new meaning to the phrase "class action suit."

It's too bad that clunky controls and eh game play stay forever buried in a time lock of dull sloppiness.

It's too bad that clunky controls and eh game play stay forever buried in a time lock of dull sloppiness.

As hero Sieg Wahrheit, enjoy third-person action with strategizing and upgrading, RPG-style, plus plenty of splattery hack ’n’ slash fun.

There’s just no way to make Aquaman more exciting than beached jellyfish. It’s time to let the scaly superhero sleep with the fishes already.

Golfing game standards like club selection, power meter, and control of backspins and topspins satisfy, but the sometimes-clunky controls and confusing camera perspectives will leave you teed-off.

Twenty-four long trails and endless noodly bike upgrades add variety.

There’s just no way to make Aquaman more exciting than beached jellyfish. It’s time to let the scaly superhero sleep with the fishes already.

The drab pacing isn’t helped by clunky controls and muddy graphics.

This real-time, 3-D role-player neatly fuses the usual stat-crunching with plenty of chaotic firefights, ensuring there's at least something in here for the nongeeks (or at least not too geeky) among us.

The ordinary race-and-chaser’s loosely knit compilation of repetitive Mini Cooper showdowns has a recognizable scene or two, but that’s about it.

While this muck jam has expansive environments and great graphics, it also boasts as much originality as a Winger sing-along chorus. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun.

The ordinary race-and-chaser’s loosely knit compilation of repetitive Mini Cooper showdowns has a recognizable scene or two, but that’s about it.

The ordinary race-and-chaser’s loosely knit compilation of repetitive Mini Cooper showdowns has a recognizable scene or two, but that’s about it.

The basic game hasn’t changed from the “run, jiggle, shoot” style we know and love, ensuring Lara will be every bit the guilty pleasure she’s always been.

It’s a nice combination of horror and hysterics, a fresh take long overdue with this style of game.

The moves are so disappointing and ineffective, you’re down for the count before the festivities begin. On the list of failed comebacks, file this one below ALF.

It may not boast garages bloated with the usual name-brand chick magnets you find in other racing games, but the dark racing underbelly of Midnight Club II has every bit as many thrills as the leading grease monkey autopia.

True, storming enemy positions is an option, but with environments this wide-open, you’ll just get your ass handed to you by a heavily armed battalion of baddies (or asshole buddies) if you do.

What truly sticks out about this real-time strategy game is that it never lets its engrossing depth create a dull moment.

Seriously, you’d be hard-pressed to find a game with a more craptastic combination of graphics and gunplay.